*dusts off blog*
Howdy! Yes, been a while since I blogged here. I have been more active at H&B, but I have been missing writing about fluff. Holidays and Twitter were a time suck, but hopefully I will be back in the blogging groove from now on.
Lately I have been on a roll regarding movies. Back in my younger days, it was part of my job to be very familiar with Hollywood fare. The more I learned about any movie, the more I began to realize just how awesome bad movies were. Sure, the title distinguishes the differences in celluloid: “film” is more artistic, “movie” is more entertainment, and “flick” is completely devoid of sense. And this post is about my favorite flicks. It’s my blog, and I write what I want.
Number 5: Birdemic: Shock and Terror
This is supposedly inspired by Alfred Hitchcock’s The Birds. Supposedly. It has birds in it, true. We don’t see them until halfway through the flick and though they are attacking humans, it seems they die for some unknown reason. It was also inspired by An Inconvenient Truth. Sigh…. If you enjoy bad acting, hammy preaching, and exploding bird gifs, this is the movie for you.
Number 4: Manos: The Hands of Fate
Apparently, the writer doesn’t know enough Spanish. This movie is so bad, it borders on greatness because it stemmed from a bet: anyone can make a horror movie. I bet they lost. If anything, watch the MST3K riff of it. It will limit the chance of alcohol poisoning.
Number 3: Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers
I know this is supposed to be a PG blog. But this flick is just too awesome to pass up. Plot centers around a gang of prostitutes who hack up people with chainsaws for their cult. PROSTITUTE CULT!!!
Number 2: Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama
Sorority pledges get paddled, whipped creamed, showered, then they get to B&E in a bowling alley for a trophy which gets broken, releasing an evil imp the wreaks havoc and zombifies the bowheads.
And my all-time favorite flick….
Number 1: Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death
Shannon Tweed (whom I adore) plays feminist professor Margo Hunt, who is hired to go into the jungle to investigate the disappearance of a fellow feminist (Adrienne Barbeau) and to secure the the import of avocados for the US while convincing the tribe of female cannibals to move to Malibu. Her guide is played by Bill Maher in the role of an idiot, so a lot of realism here. This plot is delicious on several levels, not the least of which is fighting factions that quibble over whether men should be eaten with salsa or clam dip. Not a euphemism at all.
So, these are just a few of the flicks we at Casa de Aggie enjoy. Thankfully, popcorn goes well with booze, otherwise some of these would be completely intolerable. I hope to do a full drunk blog post for Sorority Babes once friend of the blogiverse Tiberius comes for a visit. Hopefully it will be articulate. Maybe 😉