Obsession is 9/10ths of the Paw

This past weekend I was lucky to host my brother and his lovely fiancée, along with Bradie the dog. She is my brother’s dog, but his fiancée is her human. Y’all know how it goes. Just as Lenny is Eldest’s dog, but I am her human. I think that is the most endearing quality of a canine. They claim a person as their own and there is NOTHING you can do to influence them out of it.

The same can be said about some people and fantasy football, but I digress.

Anyway, what made it interesting was the fact that they look so much alike we could barely tell which dog was which, unless they faced us. Lenny has a white patch on her chest, whereas Bradie is solid black. The dogs had a great time going after each other as alphas are wont to do, but their humans were not as pleased. And of course, getting confused as to which dog was which sometimes made them look at us like we were stupid, with head tilted and ear cocked for emphasis. All in all it was awesome, and now I understand what coveting really means.

bradie and blankie

I want that dog.

I want her with the burning power of a thousand Betelgeuses to seven orders of magnitude, times eleventy. And why do I want her? Because she is just like my Lenny. And you can NOT have too much of a good dog. You just can’t.

So be on notice, my brother. I will get your pretty dog, too :D

 


How Movie Grief Could Have Been Avoided

I am getting rather cantankerous in my old age. I don’t go to the movies often, not just because it is outrageously expensive but also because the movie plots tend to get me mad. It is difficult sitting there and keeping quiet when all you want to do is scream about how a monkey could have done a better job of writing this massive waste of celluloid. Or worse, how the whole plots could have been resolved in FIVE MINUTES!!!

For example, take The Lord of the Rings trilogy and The Hobbit trilogy. The first time I watched it it was all “Oooooh!!!” and “WOW!!!” and “ZOMG!!!”. But the second time all I could think about was how they could have just flown the eagles over the mountain and dropped the damn ring in there. I understand the concept of “allegory” but I also understand the concept of “logic”.

And then there’s Sleeping Beauty. Walt Disney loved to bring a fairy tale to life. Few people know he was actually involved in The Little Mermaid way back in the 1940’s. Dude was all about the “happily ever after”. But every time that movie comes on, all I can think about how all the angst could have been avoided if only they had sent an invitation to Maleficent!!! That’s it. She wouldn’t have even shown up anyway had she been invited.

And I don’t even have to explain my abhorrence for Fifty Shades of Grey. Or is it “Gray”? Sometimes English confuses me. But c’mon! A good looking guy tells you to sign a contract so he will own you and you have no rights whatsoever? Leaving the domestic abuse issue aside, the horrible writing, the impossibility of a 26 year old billionaire, and all the trappings, who would sign a contract to be treated like offal?

I should stop here. I know that Lent is having an effect on me. Ok, lack of chocolate is having this effect on me. Fine….FINE!!! Lack of wine, too. I have two weeks to go and miles before I am done. But I have patience, will, and time.

And a box of Peeps with my name on it :D


Monday After Daylight Savings Sithy

Y’all need a funneh, because it is Spring Forward and Monday and STILL winter. So here you go, courtesy of MrFixIt.

boba fett ford plane crash lol

The real reason Harrison Ford crashed.

Hope y’all have a great day :D


I May Suck at Blogging, But I Excel at Yorling

As y’all have noticed, I have lacked the will and the fluff to blog on a regular basis. My severe lack of happy is also affecting this, to the point that even Hubby has asked when I will get back to blogging. So you know it’s serious when he has noticed. Lately time has not been on my side, what with school stuff, work stuff, and itty bitty surgery (I’m fine, no worries). No sweets and no wine make Aggie a grumpy Sith, so what is left?

That’s right: YORLING!!!

For those who are new or don’t know the history of the term Yorling, it simply means whim shopping. Our blogger friend Mitchell over at Center of the Anomaly used to go by the nick “Enas Yorl”, and he is famous for whim shopping. He takes whim shopping to a serious level. Now, I’m not insane enough to shop for stuff I do not need. Mostly. But the other day I got a postcard from the Le Creuset™ Outlet advertising two wonderful things: a sale, and the new color, chiffon pink!!! And there on the bar was a Christmas gift card from my parents along with a birthday check from my parents ( I am lazy and wait until the last possible minute to go deposit anything), and on top of that, I had noticed an obvious lack of a large round Dutch oven in my collection. It was like Kismet and Karma decided to take some pity on me and align the planets and stars.

le creuset pink 5 quart

Meet Gigi, my 5.5 quart round Dutch oven. She is lovely, and is on display awaiting her christening this Sunday when she will be instrumental in making bread. Yes, you can make bread in a Dutch oven. I have a big French oval Dutch oven (heh, French and Dutch) but the round lends itself to more even heating. The best part of this was I had enough in my gifts and the sale that I only paid in the double digits. I count it as a win.

Chiffon pink…. cotton candy and fluff. And perfect for moi :D


Finding My Happy Place For Today

Unfortunately, I have to find it without the aid of candy or wine. I already vented my spleen over at Uncivil Peasants (NSFW), and feel the need for happy thoughts because if I don’t, I may just vent something else, like a carburetor.

happy tuesday

It’s not just politics that make me want to force choke the milk carton. It’s also the lack of empathy I witness everywhere. I witness the disparaging remarks of a “pacifist” towards a soldier and wonder what happened to civility. I watch commercials showing disrespectful children sassing their parents and wonder what happened to manners (don’t get me started on the teen eating out of the cereal box and drinking out of the milk carton). I see History repeating itself while lamenting how we don’t learn from it. There is a quiz going around social media that asks “How smart are you?”. I saw it pop up on my social-site-with-faces page and saw all who took it got “PhD” level. ALL OF THEM. But it was our friend SoCal who pointed out the obvious: every question was something he learned back in elementary school. And yet that qualified one as PhD level? Is that how far education has fallen?

I picked a heck of a time to quit eating sweets. I guess yoga will have to suffice until Easter. Ok, maybe not yoga but perhaps thinking about yoga. I have my limits, and so do my tendons :D


It’s Not Even March, and I Already Have a List of Things That Annoy Me

I use the word “annoy” because I know the NSA is listening.

Last year the list was compiled around July. I was hoping this year’s list would be compiled around November, but no such luck. Please bear with me. I need to vent a bit.

In fact, I suggest y’all vent while you still can.

Net Neutrality is becoming more of a certainty than a myth. It’s almost like they have forgotten the fiasco called Fairness Doctrine. But that doesn’t matter, because there is a pen and a phone involved. The same administration that botched a healthcare website wants to have control of the Internet, because 1934 was a very good year. And speaking of the Internet…

….The dress is ugly. Just drop it already. While people have been fighting over the colors, ISIS decided to start moving into Lebanon, Putin is cradling the Ukraine, bloggers are being targeted and at least one who is an American citizen has been beheaded in the name of *puny god*, the administration is pushing for an ammunition ban, and the president of this fine country is making sure to play chicken with Congress. But I bet that dress will be the Halloween costume of 2015.

We have an administration that is willing to fight the enemy with hashtags, and an enemy that is willing to fight us with death. But most people are still swooning over who wore it best at the Oscars, or wondering when Kim Kardashian will attempt to break the Internet again, or who will win American Idol #3,482. Our own leaders refuse to acknowledge the religious dogma of those who wish to kill in that name. Is it any wonder wine sales are up?

I’m annoyed. I am very annoyed. And I really hope y’all are, too.

Complacency is the fastest way to a ball and chain.


I’m a Jewelry Jinx

I’m one of the most minimal people y’all will ever know. About the only constant piece of jewelry I wear is my wedding band. But like a magpie, I do love, and I mean love to own bling. And mostly the fashion stuff. Who doesn’t love a huge neon pink rock on their finger, right?

That’s why the Ring Pop lollipop is so popular, my friends.

Anyway, like all women I have my favorite jewelry lines. Depending on the occasion my taste in bling changes. If I have a formal to attend (and those may be in my near future again, much to my feet’s chagrin), I tend to pick very bold pieces. If I’m going to a tea, I favor more whimsical items like flowers. If I’m going to lunch with Hubby, then I opt for just earrings. Even if the occasion is cleaning the bathroom, I do wear something blingy, like a tiara. Don’t judge me.

kirks folly dragonfly necklace

A few weeks ago, I was shopping for upcoming birthdays and decided to get my nieces some pretty fantasy jewelry. They loved my dragonfly necklace and I thought it would be nice to get them similar necklaces. Kirks Folly™ is my favorite jewelry for whimsy. So I go to their website…. and there is a “Thank You” posted to all their customers for a great 35 years. Undeterred, I go to QVC, and find it GONE!! As if this wasn’t bad enough, my favorite jewelry company, Lia Sophia™, declared bankruptcy a few months back! I’m in a total panic now. I do a search for Nolan Miller’s line, and….. gone. Kenneth Jay Lane? Discontinued. And with the passing of Joan Rivers, I worry that her line will also go the way of the dodo. I love her bee pins, and I am angling for her grape cluster pin before they discontinue it.

Now I have to go shop around for whimsy. Again. Which is fine since shopping is one of my gifts.

I just hope that Lolita™ never, ever retires.


Acting My Age

I was watching TV yesterday and there was some commercial about something to which I wasn’t going to pay any attention until I heard a certain phrase: Act your age. It took me a few seconds (I don’t multitask very well when I am eating ice cream) for the phrase to fully sink in.

What exactly does that mean, really?

Who gets to determine what each age should act like? Is there a book somewhere, or a rule? My husband is still fond of playing videogames, and I have been known to wear a tiara while cleaning the bathrooms. I still chase down the ice cream truck (I know the guy and he is no longer afraid of me). We watch old cartoons and rated G movies. I own action figures and still have a Joe Cool Snoopy. And a Hedwig. And some of the stuffed animals I had when I was a toddler. I still color with crayons and use finger paints. Let’s face it: I am far from “acting my age”.

llama in pool

And so are many other people, I’m sure. My personal experience tells me that it is one thing to act like a kid and quite another to act immature. Acting one’s age can lead to boredom, which leads to dissatisfaction, which leads to crankiness, which leads to immaturity. Ergo: you need to play like a kid in order to be a happy mature adult. SCIENCE!!! You’re welcome, world!!

Anyway, time for me to get going. I have my Legos out and need to finish building my castle, complete with moat and archers :D


This Is Super Bowl Weekend, and I Will Be Celebrating the Ads

I remember vaguely when the Super Bowl was a game, and not a soap opera. I am not the most savvy football person out there, but holy cow….cheating, on the field and on your girlfriends (you know who I’m talking about), and “I’m too good to talk to the media” (you know who I’m talking about), and now one of the big time players may miss the game due to his girlfriend giving birth to their child (you know who, and if he loves her, put a damn ring on her finger and your name on the birth certificate). Honestly, I am half-tempted to DVR the whole game so I can skip it and fast forward to the commercials. But if I did that, Hubby would be disappointed. Although….. we did just get a new TV for upstairs, so he has that going for him, which is nice. Besides, the game justifies the food.

Holysuperbowldeli-thumb-565x424

No, I’m not making that food stadium extravaganza. I am making seven layer dip and pigs in a blanket and popcorn chicken and po boys and micheladas and snickerdoodles and fried biscuits bits rolled in cinnamon sugar. Hopefully that will be enough for the five of us.

And what will y’all be ingesting in celebration of the end of football season? :D


Aggie’s Unconventional Guide to Valentine’s Day

Let me be clear: I can’t stand Valentine’s Day.

stabbed heart

I love the romance and the idea and history behind the holiday, don’t get me wrong. But the commercialism makes me all stabby while pukey. I have written posts in the past to help y’all with gift ideas for your beloved. Some have been obvious (my go-to Lolita glass of the week) and some have been a bit….. odd (Zen perfume made from roses grown outside our atmosphere). So here is my list for no-fail gifts this Valentine’s Day.

#5– Electric drill

Honestly, most women would like to own one just so they could put up their own wall decor and also have a handy tool for those times when you need to be….persuasive.

#4– Santoku knife

Who doesn’t want a knife??

#3– Ear plugs

For those times when you finally run out of patience with questions, be it from kids, or coworkers.

#2– Car wash pass

Show her you love her enough to worry about her manicure, or at least worry what the neighbor’s think of her vehicular trash can.

#1– Personal vacation

Sending your beloved somewhere on his or her own is a great way to show them that you love them. Why? Because your beloved needs time away from you before that electric drill becomes necessary. News at 11.

So there you go. A list of awesome gifts for your sweetheart. I have three santoku knives, several pairs of ear plugs, and I am angling for the drill next. Also, I am not responsible for any reaction you may get from your beloved if you choose to heed my advice. As usual, my advice is unsolicited and should always fall on deaf ears, especially those ears with ear plugs. But should you feel the need to give a safer, more conventional gift, roses are always a wonderful idea.

So the florist tells me ;)


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