Do You Even Architecture??

Sometimes knowing obscure things can work against me. Last week, Hubby and I took our monthly trip to the home improvement store to pick up random stuff for the house. As always, I take advantage of going so I can stock up on industrial crap for art projects. This time, I was on the hunt for plinths.

Do y’all know what plinths are? well, here is a sample of plinths:

antique plinths

Those pictured above are antiques. They are architectural elements used usually to adorn doorways or around pediments. That style is called “bullseye”, but other popular styles included flowers, Fleur-de-lys, and even Corinthian fluting. Anyway, I know they are still in use today, so I wanted to get a few on which to practice my chalk paint techniques and maybe use them for altered art. So, I commenced my hunt for them in the lumber section, where you would expect to find you know, wood. But no luck. Rambling and dragging Hubby along, I was unable to locate them. Finally I broke down and asked a young man for help in locating them. After mistakenly taking us to the picture hanging aisle, he was finally able to understand what it was I was looking for.

Me: (explaining for the third time in my ridiculous way) Plinths are the decoration used in corners of doorways. Little squares?

Expert: Oh! You mean corner blocks?

Me: …..not sure, but maybe?

Expert: (shows me the exact item I am looking for) Like these?

Me: YES!!! THOSE!!!

Expert: At least you know what you’re looking for. I get gentlemen that are sent by their wives to get some obscure item because she saw an idea on Pinterest–

Hubby: *points to me*

Me: Hey, *I* get my own crap for my Pinterest projects.

Expert: *laughs at me*

So this Sith Got a few plinths. As usual, Hubby has no idea what I am going to do with them. Neither do I, but having them is half the battle :D


Not Right in the Head

Sometimes my anthropological background rears its ugly, demented head.

It all started with a professor, Dr. Dettwyler. She was my fave prof in the department mostly because she had a nerdy sense of humor and because she didn’t give a rat’s….tail about the misogynists in the department. Back when I was majoring in Anthropology, we had a few of the “Old Guard” who still believed women shouldn’t be in the field. Not that we weren’t smart enough, but rather they felt that the Perils of Gwendolyn would play out at any moment.

And y’all thought Anthropology was boring.

Anyway, one thing that simply fascinated her were skulls, of the human variety. It is said that some people have the map of a country on their face because that area has specific genetic traits. One day we were watching Quest for Fire (while laughing out loud) and she remarked that the one actor who fit well in the role was Ron Perlman, his skull being so perfect. Perfect?? Yep, the cheekbones, the brow ridge, everything was just perfect and she would just love to own his skull for Science. This was her segue into that particular lesson. And I became rather obsessed with mapping skulls ever since.

Now, I tell you that story so I can better explain what transpired yesterday. I’m not much of a high-brow person, and tend to like irreverent comedy (Mel Brooks is KING!!). Last night I was watching Let’s Be Cops because I could, and I had an epiphany.

Rob_Riggle

ZOMG!!! Look at that skull!! Just look at it!!! Isn’t it just perfect??? How did I miss Rob Riggle’s skull before???

Me: My GAWD his skull is awesome. Just like Ron Perlman’s!!

Hubby: People are going to be concerned about you wanting to collect heads.

Me: I don’t want to collect heads. I just want to own his skull. THERE’S A DIFFERENCE!!*

Obviously I don’t actually want to own anyone’s skull. But I do enjoy mapping them to this day. It’s fun trying to extrapolate where a person originated from. And let’s face it: he is rather easy on the eyes as well. And he is definitely not the only one, either. Guy Pearce and Olivia Wilde are two others whose skulls are fascinating to me. But as with all skulls, I only admire from afar.

Because this obsession would look ridiculous on a restraining order ;)

*In case it isn’t obvious, this post is done in humor and should be taken in the manner intended. Otherwise you are a poopy head.


Monday Sithy

Crushed. Just crushed.

stormtrooper cookie monster lol

Well, hopefully the Dark Side upgraded to bourbon.

Have a great Monday!! :D


Home Improvement Part…. I Have No Idea

Slowly but surely I am upgrading each room in the house. As much as I would LOVE to have the Flynn Ryder twin come in and give my house a makeover worthy of Architecture Digest™, we just don’t have the moolah for that. Still, some things are worth improving due to the certain disrepair that comes with age. The bathroom tops that list for me, narrowly edging out the kitchen by a tenth of a hair. Water damage, mildew damage, curling iron damage…. it all adds up. So this year’s home improvement lottery winner was the main hall bathroom. Yes, my sanctuary will have to wait a few years before I can bring it up to Empress standards. It’s a sacrifice I was willing to make.

This is the bathroom before.

bath before 1

Not bad, but you can’t see the water damage behind the sink (THANK GOODNESS!!). It was a waste of space, having all that countertop and uncomfortable to have the sink right by the door.

Continue reading


Flowerdom

WIN_20150707_143631

The main bath is being redone due to some water issues and a hankering for modern aesthetics. It won’t take long for the contractor to finish so there’s that. In the meantime, I have managed to get the new(ish) car registered and clean my bathroom, and to pass away the time since the noise level is rather high, I decided to make felt flowers, including cacti. Usually my thought process goes like this:

“Hm…. I think I will make some flowers.”

*cuts felt shapes, glues, makes flowers*

*looks at pile of flowers*

*wonders what to do with finished flowers*

*throws in basket*

*sighs*

Nothing is more calming than making sure you don’t pour hot glue on your fingers. So I have that going for me, which is nice :)


On This Independence Day

So much to say, and not nearly eloquent enough to put into words. So I will just ramble along as I am wont to do. It seems to work most of the time.

God bless America

As I have traveled over the world, I have been pleasantly surprised by the respect people have for our holiday. Sure, Germans all thought we had cowboy boots and Stetsons and lived like Dallas, (didn’t help that Hubby did have a Stetson and cowboy boots, either), but they understood how important, and how vital our Revolution was. In Crete, a lady at a local shop sold beautiful handmade rugs, of which several were done in an American motif (not exactly a flag, but rather the colors and the stars). She told me her dream was to visit the US, and I do hope she was able to do so. In Poland, Americans are welcome as long-lost brethren! We were told stories how once The Wall came down, the people began to basically overdose on our Western culture. There is not a single pottery maker who does not fashion his or her own American design, either. You walk into a bar identifying yourself as an American, and the vodka flows. And in Luxembourg… the men and women still thank you for what we did for them, and for what we stand for. As beautiful and as solemn as Normandy in places.

Every year, I am grateful that I have been so blessed as to be born an American citizen. Scores of people all over the world, some of them close friends, are still waiting patiently for the process towards citizenship to begin. I pray every day that the wheels turn a bit faster for them, because they know already what it means to be an American, and are willing to sacrifice for the chance at becoming one.

May y’all have a wonderful Independence Day and please, take some time to appreciate the sacrifices so many made for our country.


Happy Fathers Day!!

To my dad, and my father-in-law, and my brothers-in-law, and most of all to Hubby, without whom this holiday would not be celebrated, if y’all know what I mean. I thought the “Luke, I am your father” meme was awesome, until I saw this one.

star wars best dad ever lol

With special thanks to Rabid Alien!

Hope y’all have a great day!! :D


The Shift of a Compass

Let me preface this by saying I consider myself lucky to have friends. One can never have too many. Growing up they came and went out of my life with regularity, and some have passed on before their time. But I never regretted the time spent with any of them, whether in anger or laughter, in sadness and joy, in cacophony and silence. Every one was a blessing unto my life, even the ones who chose to leave.

Back in the days before social media, we were comfortable not knowing every particular tidbit from every particular friend. I had no ideas on their religious convictions (even when we attended the same church), their political leanings, their discriminatory views (and by this I mean likes and dislikes, not racial bigotry), and outside our high school football team, not even sport fandoms. Personally, I didn’t think it was any of my business, and if they liked the Dallas Cowboys, that was their cross to bear. But social media has made it easier to put one’s views out there. Sometimes that makes friends aware that they don’t have so many things in common with each other, and the dreaded happens.

In the interest of our friendship….

Those are chilling words to read on one’s media. At first it seems they are trying to cushion a coming blow, but that’s the masquerade. Those words come right before being told how “wrong” or how “bigoted” or how “evil” your statement is. It isn’t a way to soften the rebuttal but rather an implied threat. I don’t agree with you and our friendship will suffer for it. And I have to wonder why. Why would any friend consider a different opinion cause to sever all ties? I could understand if my opinion went against the law or broke social taboos but that wasn’t the case. It was a case of the mirror having two faces: two different ways of looking at one thing. Ignoring one face over the other simply because you don’t like it is a disservice to others and to oneself. Always remember: one must always play “devil’s advocate” and question everything; living in an echo chamber gets very old, very fast; and no one has a right to be offended. No friendship should ever be tested because of discourse. Differences of opinion are valuable, necessary, and natural. To think otherwise is to be myopic about the human condition.

And now that I have done my deep thoughts for today, it’s time for another cup of coffee :)


General Random Stuff That Makes Me Not So Happy

Sorry I have been absent from the blog so long. It has been a rather weird few weeks since school let out. I find myself making list after list of things to pack up and things to purge and things to finish and the only thing I have done is write the lists. So much fail, I know.

Yesterday I was in the checkout line at the grocery store wondering what to make for dinner even though I was actually purchasing food when I saw a little girl looking at the magazines on the rack. She was looking at some young actress who was on the cover with her hair blown away from her face, her arms at her hips, and her face a mask of what I can figure is “anger” (but most likely a product of “Pout for me, dahlink!!” from the photographer). And in what can only be described as sadness, I watched her pretend to be just like that glossy, unrealistic photograph: arms at hips, lips pouting, hair being tossed back. I hate those magazines. I really, really do. They are in the business of making every single woman feel UGLY!!! I have zero respect for a periodical that tells me I need to dye my hair and lose those pesky pounds or I will lose him and not get promoted to my dream job. We women are contrary creatures. You tell me I need to lose weight, and I will grab a quart of ice cream and eat it all while smirking in your face. And I will love every single spoonful!!

I went to make an appointment for my dogs to be groomed because I am far to busy making lists to do that, and when I whipped out my iPhone 3 to put the date in my calendar, the receptionist told me I should upgrade to a better phone. She told me. First, it isn’t anyone’s business what phone I own, and second, her name was not Graham Bell. I was a bit stunned at first, but then she went on about how new phone have better technology and you can do so much more with them. I politely asked what, and she informed me that Candy Crush and some muffin game were in HD now. I asked about GPS and she replied (and I kid you not), “I don’t play that game.” I took the opportunity to let her know I prefer a phone that is so outdated the NSA can’t track me. She asked if that was my parents’ service. I said yes and then just left. Honestly, I can’t even.

So that has been my week so far. I realize it is only Tuesday so there is plenty more that can possibly set me off like a firecracker, but I prefer to be positive and look on the bright side of things. Well, metaphorically speaking anyway, since another storm system is moving through here. And of course, Blue Bell™ is not yet back in production. This whole positive thinking is hard without Blue Bell™ and sunshine, so I’m going to stop rambling and go watch Ghost Whisperer and eat some yogurt. If that doesn’t work, five o’clock will eventually come around :D


Relax, There’s Vodka For That

This is the last week of school, y’all.

I am not looking forward to the summer like most people are. Son is graduating and getting ready for college. And that means my anxiety is growing as the apron strings get cut once again. For someone who has big plans for an empty nest, I sure have issues when the chicks decide to leave it. I admit it was difficult to get used to Eldest’s departure for the military. Now with Son’s impending departure for college, I am left behind with one chick, and she isn’t the most amiable towards my melodramatic angst.

I think her exact words were, “Get over it.”

Sigh….. It will be difficult but I am sure I will get over it eventually. It’s not like I am constantly checking up on Eldest. So what if I know her work schedule and know when she should be in her barracks? I’m her mom, so I can’t be charged with stalking, right? This parenting thing is hard, learn-as-you-go and sometimes thankless, but they never tell you that all you go through is a piece of cake compared to them leaving you. At least Son will be able to come home for some weekends and holidays so the break will be slow, like ripping a bandage or twisting thumbscrews.

I did mention my melodramatic angst, right?

I know my parents are laughing at me. Come to think of it, so is my sister. And most of my friends. I know this isn’t as bad as I make it out to be, and it definitely isn’t the end of the world. It’s a new beginning, and I just hope and pray that each one is ready to face the world alone. My apron strings are being cut and Hubby tells me they can’t be sewed back on.

But there is always Velcro™!! :D


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