Beauty on a Budget

The other day I was turning down the bed when I took a glance in the mirror and my brain froze.

WHAT IN THE ACTUAL HELL???

I have a Gordon Ramsey wrinkle.

Oh, HELL NAW!! I will embrace my gray, I will enjoy making laugh lines, and I won’t mind the crow’s feet (much). But I refuse —REFUSE!!— to have a single wrinkle like that. IT’S NOT SYMMETRICAL, FOR GOODNESS’ SAKE!!! If I had two wrinkles mirroring each other…..well, ok, I would still be upset but in an “I-am-the-cryptkeeper” kind of way, and eventually would accept it and turn it into part of my Halloween ensemble. But a single, solitary crater by my chin??

No, just no.

So, I did what any level-headed woman would do: I cried and yelled at the wrinkle and then decided to be all sciencey and test out some beauty products. It was either that, or eat two quarts of Baskin Robbins’ World Class Chocolate. And I can’t do that because I gave up everything joyful for Lent, so beauty products it is.

First: skin upkeep doesn’t have to be expensive. I tried several expensive products which compared favorably, and in some cases were not as good as inexpensive drugstore brands. Second: your face wash can be a different brand from your moisturizer, but the moisturizer must be compatible with your foundation. That makes a big difference. So if you have a preference for a matte foundation, use a moisturizer that is oil-free. If you prefer the dewy look, use a moisturizer for drier skin. Otherwise your foundation will look like spackle. Third: some products are better used during certain seasons. It’s standard to need something more moisture-rich in the winter than in the summer. Fourth: what works for me may not work for you, thus test and trial! So think of this post as a guideline, not a hard fast rule. Anyway, on to fighting aging like two women over the last pair of stilettos at DSW!!

It’s the Spiciest Time of the Year

Y’all…

It’s that time again.

The time when every pumpkin fears for its life.

It’s the dawning of the age of Pumpkin Spice Latte.

I won’t lie. I enjoy a PSL once in a while. In fact, there was a time I was all excited to see Coffeemate bring out their Pumpkin Spice flavor so I could have a fix of The Spice at home. But I am more into The Spice than I am into The Pumpkin. Unless it’s pie. Then I am all about that with a huge dollop of homemade whipped cream. But in a drink, it’s not as appealing to me. That said, I have lots of friends IRL and on the Interwebs that do love PSL. Love it so much they set aside time for Starbucks on the first day they serve it. For me, the attraction is in the Spice. I’m all Paul Atreides on that. But I found an additional way to enjoy Pumpkin Spice without the Latte.

That’s right. A chocolate shake with Bailey’s Pumpkin Spice. Bailey’s used to have the recipe up on their site, but alas, they took it down. Lucky for y’all, I found it again.

• 4 oz. Baileys Pumpkin Spice Irish Cream
• 2 cups Chocolate Ice Cream
• 2 oz. Whole Milk
• 1/4 cup Brown Sugar
• 1/4 cup Pumpkin Puree
• 1/4 tsp. of Pumpkin Spice Blend (Allspice)

Put everything in a blender and go to town (not literally). You can substitute vanilla ice cream for the chocolate (why you would want to do that is beyond my comprehension), the whole milk for reduced fat or skim, and make sure you get plain pumpkin puree, not pie filling. Otherwise the sweetness will be off the charts. Personally, I would cut back a little on the brown sugar, and that’s saying something. Either way, I believe this is a far better way to enjoy Pumpkin Spice than in a latte. Chocolate, spice, AND booze.

Now excuse me. I must go control The Spice 😉

The Second Most Wonderful Day of the Year

No, I have no idea what the first most wonderful day of the year is. It fluctuates with my mood. Sometimes Christmas, sometimes Thanksgiving, sometimes garbage day. One year it was the day I found $20 in the laundry. Talk about a banner day! I guess you can have several wonderful days of the year, just have to put them in the order that makes you smile the biggest. Sometimes you may end up with a tie or like me, sometimes they are all exceptional days, unique in their own wonderful way. Back to topic, why is today the second most wonderful day?

It’s National Wine Day!!!

That’s right, my friends. Today we celebrate that wonderful spirit, literally. Finally, a day when I don’t need to make up an excuse can pour a glass and sit outside to enjoy my favorite time of day, when the world looks blue. I love to sit and let my mind wander, rambling on from subject to subject. Ok, that happens all the time but today it’s acceptable and encouraged.  And if wine isn’t your tipple, feel free to tipple on something else. Any day is a good day to celebrate.

Unless you have to go to the DMV. Then wine afterwards won’t cut it 😉

Friday Sithy

Oh dear GAWD I want to make this for Halloween one year.

Steampunk Leia. Tell me that’s not awesome. I dare you 😉

In the Eyes of the Beholding Thrift Shop

I was running errands today, enjoying the 1,675% humidity courtesy of the light rain shower this morning. It’s Wednesday, which means local thrift stores have pulled all their hauls from the weekend for sale. Usually I can find something fun like a pretty glass or tea cup. Those items are pretty easy to recognize. But sometimes I am flabbergasted at how some stuff gets identified.

I was perusing a beautiful dry sink (identified as a “table with drawer”) that was way out of my price range when my eyes alighted on the item inside the bottom shelf.

Pretty, no? And I bet most of you can tell it is a chamber pot. To be precise, an antique Staffordshire porcelain chamber pot in almost perfect condition. No chips, no cracks, and the gilt is almost like new with very few exceptions.

I have a thing for orchids* and I loved the design. You can’t really tell, but the design is outlined in brown and filled in with gold. It hardly had any scratches inside. It was immaculate!

I took it to the front desk to check out and the lady running the register remarked on it. Hilarity ensued.

Cashier: Oh, so happy someone is taking this bowl home. It’s so pretty.

Me: Bowl?

Cashier: Yes, the owner called it a fruit and salad bowl.

Me: A salad bowl??

Cashier: Yes….why?

Me: This is a chamber pot.

Cashier: ………….

Me: ………….

*both of us burst out laughing*

So you see, it’s always a question of angles. One person saw the item in a different way, for a different use. And interpretation, like beauty, is always in the eye of the beholder.

I just hope the previous owner never served food in it. To anyone 😀

*I have a thing for most flowers, really, but orchids remind me of home.

Top Shelf

Anyone who is familiar with me in real life, and even just on the internet, knows I am rather an odd duck. I like to melt Peeps, I want to collect certain skulls*, and I own voodoo dolls. Those are a few of my Sithy likes. I’m sure I am not the only one with a like of melting Peeps around here, though the other stuff is questionable.

Look, I am not the only weirdo on the planet.

Anyway, one of my new wants is a shelf of my favorite peeps. The best booze is top shelf, and I figure the best people should be, too. Your mileage may vary, but these are my favorite shelf sitters.

• Ed Sheeran– I can sit and just look at that beautiful red hair and listen to that beautiful voice forever.
• Politibunny– I really don’t have to explain this one. She is just amazing.
• Bruce Willis– those green eyes and shiny pate for the win.
• Jun Tanaka— Of all the chefs that have appeared on Chopped, he is still my favorite.
• Nicole Russell— Wonderful writer at The Federalist, covering the everyday and making it awesome.
• Dan Joseph— The absolute BEST Man on the Street snark, evah.
• Lara Spencer– Talk about design on a dime, she is the queen of the flea market flip.
• Jay Caruso— Politics and the art of sarcasm, occasionally with a side order of groovy music.

These are just a few of the many I wish to put on my shelf. Now, some of y’all may think I have secret fantasies involving some of these personalities. Rest assured I do not. I just want them up on a shelf where I can just admire them. That’s it. I don’t ask for much. But just in case men show up with a white jacket for me, make sure someone arranges for Twitter access in my padded cell, m’kay? 😉

*No, not really. I just like to map skulls anthropologically. Sheesh…

A PSA From TSA

Last week, I traveled to Washington, D.C. Though I was there only a few days, we managed to see a lot of stuff, mostly drive-bys with the intent of scoping out the territory, so to speak.

But this is not about the trip.

This is about the pre-trip part of the journey.

One of the things I do is pack lightly. I am a master at packing. I can manage to pack for five days in a carry-on and still have room for any shopping I wish to do. I am also cognizant of all travel restrictions so I avoid packing any liquids or fragile items. Also, I dress accordingly: no bulky jackets, no boots, no extra bling, no hair clips. Still, due to the fact that I have a rather unconventional hobby, I am bound to be flagged for swabbing or for a thorough search consisting of a pat down by Guido the Supervisor.

But not this time. This time I was sent through TSA Pre and walked right through the X-ray machine with no incident. I was one happy gal. Until I noticed my bag wasn’t coming through the conveyor belt. The agent took it out and re-ran it through, twice. And the third time she called the supervisor over.

Ok, now I was sweating a bit. I reviewed where the bag had been before. No, not the range (wrong bag for that), and no one had borrowed it. Nope, never left my home unless it was with me. The supervisor signaled me over and asked a few questions, specifically if there was anything in the bag that could cut him or physically harm him in any way. Uh, no, unless you think the mascara wand can be hostile. He swabs the inside and proceeds to test it, honing in on the area that sets off the alarm. He begins to dig through my clothing. I am painfully aware of other people watching as he takes out my undies and places them aside. Why the hell didn’t he move the jacket and shirts?? Finally, the culprit was found.

That’s right. The package of Thin Mints was setting off the TSA alarm.

The supervisor took them out and scanned just in case, and turns to me and says, “You know, we like these cookies…”. And with a smile I replied, “And so do I.” He had the good grace to laugh and let me repack my bag. My mortification was further enhanced when the young girl next to a lady piped up and said, “Mom, she has the same panties you do”. I smiled and nodded to the outed Soma™ addict in commiseration, grabbed my bag and ran to my gate.

The moral of the story: never take cookies in your carry-on, and always pack your undies under everything else. It could have been worse, though. I could have been carrying haggis 🙂

Nerd Christmas

As y’all are aware by now, I am a nerd. Established 1974, when I first watched Star Trek episodes in Spanish. That intensified when Star Wars came out, and cemented for all time when Ricardo Montalban resurrected his role of Khan Noonien Singh in Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan.

Don’t be fooled. I hate Ewoks.

Anyway, I wanted to get a black pre-lit Christmas tree for the longest time. No, not to match my soul but so I could display my space-themed ornaments, thinking the black would be outer space and the lights would be the stars. HOW AWESOME IS THAT?? But the topper….well, that was a quandary. I really wanted to get something like an exploding Alderran or the Pillars of Creation, but the ones I found were too pricey, so I made my own Death Star topper out of a styrofoam ball, felt, and pipe cleaners. It’s not to scale, but it will do until I take the time to make one with LEDs in it.

Aggie’s Christmas Gift Guide, 2015 Edition

Don’t worry. As much as I ❤ my Soma™ PJs, they are not on the list this year. Why? Because they should be on EVERYONE’S list every year. And not for special occasions, either. Soma PJs should be a staple in every gal’s wardrobe. Trust me on this.

This year, being cognizant of a distinct holiday fatigue, mostly due to the season being kickstarted in August, I complied a few items to help with the eventual stress that most of us who wait to shop for the perfect gift at the last minute will suffer.

Who doesn’t love the calming quality of lavender? L’Occitane™ offers a wonderful gift set that will render anyone mute with appreciation. Or make them SQUEEEE!!! Either way, it’s sure to be a keeper.

If your beloved is more of a techie and/or sports type, consider gifting a set of headphones. Just not any headphones.

Behold the Bose™ NFL Edition headphones. Yes, they are pricey, but we are not just talking quality and sports fanaticism here. I love mine because they block out everything, including the smoke alarm. Which could be a bad thing, but that’s what I have kids for.

Last but not least, what is the holiday without some bit of indulgence? Or a lot of indulgence. I won’t judge.

Williams-Sonoma™ offers many food-themed gift sets, but my pick is obviously the one to which I can add vodka. The Moscow Mule gift set comes with everything you need except the booze, but I’m sure most of us already have that in our stocks, right?? And bonus: you can use the mugs for hot chocolate, too, which you can get at the site.

I hope you have enjoyed Aggie’s Christmas Picks for 2015. I also hope one or two find their way under my Christmas tree this year. I’m not picky, but just FYI, I already own the headphones 😉

Here, Kitty Kitty

Sometimes I am surprise by what inspires me to write.

While struggling to come up with something coherent to write, I came across the classic, campy original Batman. I remember watching it in Spanish and I can tell you, the voice actors were just as melodramatic as the original cast. I miss old movies like this one.

How can you not appreciate the shark repellent scene??

Anyway, while contemplating on the beauty of Lee Meriwether (ok, more like wish I looked like that), I began to muse over the many wonderful ladies who graced the screen as “Catwoman”. Each of them had their own style, their own take on that volatile and charismatic character.

Eartha Kitt, the most petite and most purringly devious.

Julie Newmar, the most statuesque and sultry.

Lee Meriwether, the most agile and refined.

With the revival of “Batman” came Tim Burton’s take on Selena Kyle. Michelle Pfeiffer as the new Catwoman was sharper and dark, though no less sensual than her predecessors. The last decade brought us Anne Hathaway, who was not as vivid as the others but managed to spin a nice take on Kyle’s character. I bet you think I skipped Halle Berry but to be fair, the character was different from the rest.

So the questions of the day is, who is your favorite, and why? 😀