Pinterhell

I swear to all that is holy, I had to have been a magpie in another life.

A lot of my friends have Pinterest accounts. I don’t. But that doesn’t mean that I can’t access it. Anyone can, and it is made easier by the addition of sections, such as “home decor”, “foods”, “posters”, etc. A friend of mine posted a really cute idea for a table centerpiece, which necessitated I click on it, which then took me to a board called “Miscellaneous crafts & DIY for the home“.

Three hours later, I awoke from my daze. Two hours after that, I returned from the local craft and hobby store after getting supplies for numerous projects: felt flowers, “mercury” glass, paper flowers, tissue canvas project, lamp re-do, etc. The best part: I already have so much crafting crap, I didn’t need to buy a lot!

Courtesy of The Shabby Creek Cottage.

I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or not. Every single time I have good intentions on cleaning up my mess upstairs, something like this happens and all my plans go out the window, which is where Hubby wants to throw most of the mess, anyway. Seriously, y’all remember this, right?

From the mess upstairs that I still have to clean up before Nomstress arrives. Well, guess what? After Pinterest, it miraculously turned into this:

This Pinterest does not bode well for me, I can tell. On the other hand, it does inspire me to create new things with stuff on hand, and gives me ideas for gift-giving. This may be the cheapest least expensive Christmas season ever!!

I just hope no one in my family catches on 😉

Forgotten Finds

I spent all morning yesterday cleaning my bathroom, and I am talking from the ceiling all the way down to the baseboards. It was a long morning. But the reward of having a very clean bath was worth it. Anyway, I also reorganized the drawers, which means Hubby won’t be able to find anything for a week, but it needed to be done. In the course of taking things out to organize it, I found a Lia Sophia™ box, and curious, I opened it to find this:

That’s right: a rhinestone choker. How completely unlike me to own such a thing…

You can stop laughing now. I MEAN IT!!

I could have put it on while cleaning the bathroom, but by the time I found it, I was almost done. I guess I will have to cajole Hubby into going on a date night so I can show it off.

After all, what is the use of owning pretty bling if you can’t go out and show it off? Right?? 😉

Craving Denied

My day started off at the social-site-with-faces, where a friend posted a status about loving all her friends. She is a sweet woman, and a wonderful cook, and I miss her SO MUCH because she had a catering business here, but she went and moved to Virginia leaving me prostrate with grief and no, I don’t mean like the male gland, ok?? Anyway, she posted that and I felt obliged to respond:

Friend: I LOVE YOU ALL!!! ♥

Me: I ♥ you so much that when I see a tres leches cake, I yell at it and call it an impostor.

Friend: HAHAHAAA! Lord, how I miss you!!!!! ♥

Me: I think I am banned from several bakeries, too.

So now I want a slice or five of tres leches cake, and she made the best, and I am grieving because FINALLY I have an appetite and I can’t have the bestest cake evah.

Deliciousness courtesy of Narima’s Cuisine

Look at it. Just look at it!!! I think I gained two pounds and a cavity just looking. Oh, how I miss you, my friend.

And you too, Narima 😉

Wednesday Sithy

Yesterday we helped my BIL move into the barracks, so I fell behind with my chores. That means I am cheating and posting a Sithy, courtesy of my brother, who has the same sick sense of humor I do.

Eddie Izzard, Star Wars, and Legos. It’s a trifecta. Also, it may be a teeny bit NSFW, but still damn funny 😉

Game of a Certain Throne

I swear, no matter how early I get up, I still run late posting here.

This weekend we had Nomstress and her hubby Nightflyer as our guests. As usual, we had a lot of fun enjoying the company and laughing about people we know. Mostly my relatives. Anyway, Hubby was scrolling through the movies available On Demand™, when he spied one of our favorite BS meter movies: The Core.

And then he decided to make it a drinking game.

Since I had seen the movie before, I knew I would have been sloshed by the first fifteen minutes, so I passed on it and remained sober. Needless to say, the results were epic. I must admit I relished being the sober one, because it left me free to poke fun at the others. I felt the power, and it was GOOD!!!

I may be a lightweight, but I ain’t stupid 😉

If the Shoe Fits

I’m a woman. I love shoes. It is an Axiom of Life™, and one that is almost universally accepted. Even my cousin who goes barefoot through the jungle and seldom wears anything on her feet loves shoes. My sister is addicted to shoes, and I am but an amateur compared to her.

Yesterday, a friend linked a story at that-social-site-that-has-faces that made me covet, covet like I have never coveted anything in my life.

Christian Louboutin designs a slipper for today’s Cinderella

This is the juxtaposition of so many wonderrific things I want with the force of ten thousand Betelgeuses, at seven orders of magnitude. First, CHRISTIAN LOUBOUTIN, he of the Red Soled Shoes™ that caress and form to every curve of your foot, making your legs look as if they go on forever. I have wanted a pair of his shoes for years. Every time I see the red sole I salivate. Some women love Jimmy Choo, others love Salvatore Ferragamo, and still some worship at the heel of Stuart Weitzman. But they pale in comparison to the absolute poetry of a Louboutin heel.

Second, BUTTERFLIES, and I don’t mean just any butterflies. A masterful butterfly heads the shoe and a smaller one caresses the heel, bringing attention to the sensual curve below the calf. I have a thing for butterflies, in case you didn’t know. And they strike me as a sign of femininity, so I love to wear their likeness.

Third, shimmery, translucent LACE. The epitome of femininity and charm, used in lieu of glass or lucite (let’s face it: a foot doesn’t look attractive encased in plastic. It reminds me of hamhocks). But lace always makes skin look luminous and pretty, while hiding small imperfections. That’s what I read in a Frederick’s of Hollywood catalog, anyway.

Fourth, beautiful BLING. While the lace smooths out the skin, and crystals give the illusion of glass. Yes, some people may think bling should be reserved for weddings and evening attire, but not me. Bling is pretty and it makes people look, and after all, why go through life unnoticed??

Alas, they are not meant to be for moi. Christian Louboutin made them as part of a collaboration with Disney™ for the Blu-Ray™ release of Walt Disney’s Cinderella. The shoes were such a hit that he will be gifting one lucky winner here in the U.S. with a limited edition pair. And I know it won’t be me. But a dream is a wish your heart makes, when you fall asleep.

And I will be dreaming 😉

Needles in Soft Haystacks

Well, not real haystacks.

Yesterday was an adventure. And by “adventure”, I mean “roller coaster”. I hate roller coasters. I prefer to keep my feet on the ground and enjoy the scenery rather than have my life flash by in a blur. But every so often one has to get on to prove to oneself that the roller coaster is not the boss of you!

Anyway, I had another mammogram done, as well as an ultrasound. I want to stress that everyone in the Radiology Department was beyond awesome. That doesn’t mean the mammogram was gentle, by any means. To add insult to injury, she had to retake it because she didn’t get enough on the squishy plates. Talk about an ego killer. Once she was done, I went back out to wait for the ultrasound. I felt relief because how bad can the ultrasound be, right? They place a bit of gel in the questionable area and swipe a transducer across to get an image. Piece of cake, right? WRONG!! It turns out it wasn’t just one nodule, but several, and as the technician swiped the transducer across it pushed against a tender area causing a rather large amount of discomfort. To make things worse, she kept missing it, because the cysts kept moving, so she had to dig juuuuust a little more each time to get a good view.

Owie….

Not my actual ultrasound, but a good representation.

Now, imagine about 20 of them. Two of them were proving to be difficult, so the radiologists decided to drain the fluid in each one. And you may ask, just how is this done?

By inserting a syringe and withdrawing the fluid!!

Normally, this is were most people would totally wig out. And I came close, but when push comes to shove, you do what you must, right? So, I sat there as they explained the procedure, and told me how they would apply a local anesthetic so that I wouldn’t feel the needles (one for each cyst). That sounds good so far. Anyway, I laid flat on my back so that he could see the outline of the cysts better, and that’s when he noticed the bruise on the left haystack.

Doc: Wow, what happened here?

Me: Uh… long story.

Hubby: *snickers*

Me: A dog bit it, ok??

Doc: (laughing) This sure isn’t boring.

By now I was just itching to get this over with and done, but of course it’s never simple. I thought the local anesthetic was topical. Noooooooooooo…. it is injected. So there I am, on my side, arm way up over my head and falling asleep, scapula digging into the hard pillow used to prop me on my side, and the resident telling me to stay as still as possible and that I will “just feel a pinch”.

It’s a damn good thing he was a gorgeous redhead because I wanted to kill him on the spot. I was holding Hubby’s hand, clenching it actually, whimpering as quietly as I could, when I started to feel like my arm was ballooning. It was just like being at the dentist’s, only instead of drooling all over my arm just went totally limp. Thank you, Lord, for good drugs. As I watched the ultrasound, I see a needle being inserted into the area, and the resident wiggling it ever closer to the cyst. And what happens? The cyst decides to play coy, and move around!! GAH!!!! So he wiggles some more, into an area that is not completely anesthesized. Um, OY!! But as a good patient, I stay very still, and finally see him prick the cyst and withdraw the fluid. The second cyst was less problematic, but had to be wiggled into place. It was a very weird feeling having one’s haystack be moved around like that. But all good things come to an end.

Now it was time to go over recovery instructions. I figured it would be relatively simple stuff, watching for infection, keeping the swelling down, etc. I was taking it all in, until the nurse said I can only take acetaminophen for pain.

Excuse me??

I don’t get 12,000 mg ibuprofen?? No Vicodin?? NOTHING??? Acetaminophen just doesn’t work for me. I asked her why only that, and her reply was to prevent more bruising and bleeding in the area. To which I almost said, “That’s what Band-Aids™ are for, right??” But I was a good patient, and did as I was told. As I thought, acetaminophen did nothing for the pain, but the cold packs did. Unfortunately I couldn’t sleep with those, so I was a bit uncomfortable, but at least it beats the alternative.

So, in answer to y’all’s question, yes. I do have matching bruises now 😉

Twenty Lipsticks Does Not an Addiction Make

At least, that’s what I’m telling myself.

I was scrolling the blogs this morning, and noticed an interesting ad on someone’s sidebar. Cover Girl™– or maybe it was Maybelline™, some make-up company– was touting sixteen new shades for the summer season. SIXTEEN!!! I sat there and seriously wondered who would own sixteen different lipsticks, though to be fair not all women (or men) could wear the same shades. And for only ONE season. I mean, if I find a shade I like, I don’t retire it because Emily Post said so, you know what I mean? Anyway, I was still muttering about how silly some women are for having so many lipsticks, and went to my make-up basket, and counted….

Not only did I have over 20 lipsticks, I had duplicates of the same shade! Some from Bare Escentuals™, some from Estee Lauder™, one from Guerlain™, and even Chanel™. Oh, and then I found even more hiding in a Tupperware™ container, and shamefully, those I have owned since I used to sell Mary Kay™.

Back in 1997.

But the worst part about this whole thing? I seldom wear lipstick.

So today I shall be deleting old make-up from my stash. And before you ask, no, you may NOT have the Chanel™ lipstick. I do like that one 😉

A Bit Nippy

As God is my witness, I am not making this up.

Yesterday, the window on my van was repaired. That required the presence of a “stranger” in my driveway. My neighbor’s dog, an awesome, well-trained Australian Shepherd, was consequently driven nuts by the fact that someone he doesn’t know was in such close proximity to the area he is tasked to guard. I could hear him barking even while I was inside my house. Anyway, my neighbor was also dogsitting for her parents’ Aussie, a much younger, active, less-trained puppy. This puppy has the gift of egging other dogs on about barking and chasing and doing the things dogs normally do, only at a few orders of magnitude. In other words, the puppy is usually the instigator.

Not the actual Aussie, but gorgeous nonetheless!

After the repairman left, I moved the van into the garage, and then proceeded to go move the Pathfinder to the driveway, since I had parked it on the street. My neighbor, blessed woman that she is, was out with both dogs letting them relieve themselves. Her dog wasn’t on a leash, because he is trained to stay on the lawn. Before I go any further, I must underline how much I like this dog. As I walked down my driveway, perilously close to my neighbor’s yard, the dog, still in protective mode, charges at me. As taught, I stand my ground, and as HE was taught, he charges again.

My neighbor is screaming at her dog while frantically holding on to the instigator puppy.

On the second charge, the dog finds something to nip at. Now, my arms were at my sides, and I was standing sideways to him by this time. The only thing he can detect, small as it is, is my *ahem* upper pectoral milk decanting device. As I said, he is well-trained, so he only nipped at it.

But holy cow that was more than enough!!!

In tears, I get in the Pathfinder and move it, while my neighbor is calming and reinforcing training on her dog. I get out to let her know I’m fine, and hilarity ensues.

Neighbor: ARE YOU OK????

Me: Yes, it hurt a bit but..

Neighbor: OMIGAWD!! Did (name redacted to protect the innocent) bite you???

Me: Just a nip, nothing serious, really. (I am trying to calm her down by now)

Neighbor: Where??

Me: Uh…. (pointing).

Neighbor: OMIGAWD!!! Did he break skin???

(Keep in mind if a dog does draw blood, it must be quarantined for 72 hours, and the person treated for it)

Me: Oh no… not at all. I’m fine.

Neighbor: Are you sure? Take a picture of it and send it to me.

Me: (Laughing) No offense, but that is something I would only do for Hubby!!

Luckily, I am married to a doctor who took it upon himself to *ahem* check it over to make sure it was ok. Yes, it’s a bit tender, but it will heal. Suffice it to say, the dog was very contrite, and did snuggle up to me to make up for it. He sure is an awesome dog, but apparently takes that whole “take a bite out of crime” thing to extremes 😉

It’s Not Rolling, But I Did Leap for Joy

It’s Sunday, and with Hubby home, that means the re-establishing of a family tradition. One that will make my hips whimper, but I don’t care.

SHIPLEY DO-NUTS!!!

Yes, that’s the proper way to spell it. While he was gone we seldom got the chance to get doughnuts for breakfast. It was something we did with him, so we fell out of the habit of going for doughnuts. But now, it is time to get back into the groove of things, and rejoice!!

It’s not a perfect circle, true. But it is a perfect combination of sugar and fats!! Ironically, I prefer Dunkin’ Donuts™ coffee to Shipley’s. But then again, I don’t go there for coffee. I go there for the sugary goodness that screams a symphony in my head as I partake of it.

And now, if y’all will excuse me? I have to go walk off the 20,000 calories I just ingested 😉