Tag Archives: Yorling

Women, Handbags, and Shoes

I took Little One shopping for clothes this past weekend. Seems she is growing and I can no longer ignore the fact that she is not a little girl. That meant taking her shopping to places were I like to shop.

For myself.

Don’t freak out. I restrained myself. I didn’t get anything.

Ok, I got ONE shirt.

And PJs. Stop judging me!!

Moving on, she got quite the haul: jeans, shirts, sweaters, camis, and PJs (she’s my mini-me, after all). She was very amiable to my advice for once, until it came to getting accessories of any kind. It was like she became a burro. Seriously, THAT stubborn.

Me: You should get a nice purse to use in high school, honey.

Mini-Me: Why? I don’t like them. Besides, I think policy is changing to all-clear bags.

Me: What did you say??

Mini-Me: All-clear ba–

Me: No, before that!!

Mini-Me: I don’t like purses.


She just rolled her eyes and laughed at me. But that got me to thinking (I do that on occasion, you know). Why are most women so hung up on purses, and shoes as well? Think about it: they are utilitarian items that we take to fashion extremes. Shoes are mainly used to protect our feet, and purses are used to carry stuff we need that we can’t fit in pockets easily. That’s it. Most men have under four pairs of shoes. But not most women. It’s like a drug. You get one pretty pair, and you just HAVE to get another, and another, and another until your closet looks like Payless™ puked. And the same for handbags! Witness what happened to me, remember? It’s like a moral imperative. And as I thought for the reason as to why we are so enamored of such accessories, I finally came to a not-very-flattering conclusion:

We buy the purses and the shoes in order to justify purchasing the outfit.

Tell me I’m wrong. Someone, PLEASE tell me I’m wrong!!

Because the shirt I bought this weekend really goes well with my new sandals, and I’m hoping I’m not that shallow 😀

Justification in Circles

Sometimes, I’m amazed I don’t throw my back out when I try to justify my logic.

Yesterday I went to the outlet mall in search of a gift for my sister-in-law, and a Mother’s Day gift for my mom. It was a gorgeous day, and I was on my own so I didn’t feel rushed by anyone. Not that Hubby ever rushes me while shopping, but I do want to take his feelings into account. The kids’, not so much. Anyway, I had recalled that there was a Coach™ outlet store, and my mind made a quick calculation:

Handbag + Mother’s Day = Happy lady

Eh, works for most women, yours truly included. Women are all about the accessories. You know why? Because it gives us the excuse to go shopping for the outfit to match. Ask any woman. Accessories are a gateway drug to the closet. So with that in mind, I go over to the store in search of a handbag for my mom. And I am quickly overwhelmed. Seriously, I have no idea what to get my mom. Every woman has different criteria for her handbag. For example, I need inside pockets for my phone, glasses, and change. My mom prefers a large roomy inside to having myriad pockets and compartments. But they have a clearance section and that’s where I head to do my shopping, because THAT is every woman’s criteria.

I find a couple of handbags that may please my mom: a hobo-style with room enough for a kitchen sink, and a smaller tote style handbag that she can use for church and other social events. I call my sister to ask her which one I should get mom. Hilarity ensued.

Me: One is like your hobo but tan, not pink, and the other is smaller like for church.

Sis: Why are you wanting to buy her a purse??

Me: Doesn’t she like purses?

Sis: I already got her a Coach™ purse.


Sis: Uh, you were with me…

Me: *sighs*…. what am I supposed to do now?

Sis: You can buy yourself one.

Me: Hm…but I can’t decide!

Sis: Good luck with that!

Here’s the thing: I don’t own any fancy purses save for two. Ironically, one is by Coach™, given to me almost twenty years ago by my late brother-in-law, Draco. And guess what?? I have my niece’s wedding to attend. I NEED A NEW BAG!! But I still couldn’t decide. Apparently my dilemma was obvious to the salesguy, because he sauntered over to let me know the clearance section was on sale for an additional 40% off. So I did what any sane woman would do.

coach bags

AND the wallets were on sale, as well. Don’t they look good against my pots??

You may be asking what I will be doing for my mom instead. I have a back up plan. Well, I usually have a few back up plans just in case. She may not get her gift by Mother’s Day, but better late than never, right?

At least I hope so 😀

Better Late Than Next Week Never List

My niece is getting married in May, and my nephew (her brother) will be getting married in October. Between joining the military, graduations from college, weddings, and family reunions, this year will be a banner year for the family. That also means attending wedding showers, graduation parties, bridal showers, but it does NOT mean attending bachelorette parties. I have a limit. I’m sure it will be fun. For them. It’s just not my thing.

Now, had it been a quilting bee, heck yeah!

Moving on, it got me to thinking about my wedding and the gifts I received. I was very lucky in that we received a lot of kitchen and bath stuff. But we did get some rather odd gifts that never even saw the light of day.

wedding gifts

Wedding Gifts to Avoid

#5– Character appliances

We received a Mickey Mouse™ waffle iron as a wedding gift. It stayed in the box until I sold it in a garage sale. Twelve years later.

#4– Lawn equipment

Most times the first home is an apartment. And there is only so much space for a weed whacker.

#3– Artwork

Everyone’s tastes are different, and newlyweds will have enough work finding common ground without having to add Wharhol soup cans to it.

#2– Relationship books

No. Just no.

#1– Anything personalized

As wonderful as the thought may be, you are giving a gift that will be limited in use. A framed item is nice, but where would the personalized throw and the personalized candleholder end up?

I hope this helps some of y’all as we head into summer wedding season. If all else fails, cash is always a welcome gift.

So I’ve been told. Countless of times 😉

Retail Therapy

I don’t care what some people say, I firmly believe everyone enjoys retail therapy to some degree. Whether you are buying ammo or new shoes, or shopping for others or yourself, it makes no difference. There is a part of you that really, really feels good about it.

For some guys, it may be a very tiny part, but it’s there. Especially if it involves booze. Or bacon. Or bullets.

We women get a bad rap for it, but we don’t all follow the norm. For example, I have three sisters. Last evening Sister #2 called to tell me she had bought some furniture for the empty room upstairs, and was so giddy about it she was giggling. Sister #3 sent an MMS to all of us showing her new shoes, which she purchased at a major discount (And I mean MAJOR: Nicole Miller heels for $4.98). And Sister #4 and I (I’m Sister #1, in case y’all wondered) usually SQUEEE over the Lolita glasses we *ahem* acquire. The funny thing is, it doesn’t have to be expensive or blingy or showy for retail therapy to work its magic on your psyche.


It just has to make you happy. Admittedly, a gorgeous diamond ring would make most women happy, and a Ferrari would make most men happy, too. But high maintenance would take away that first blush of happiness and replace it with resentment soon enough. Not that I would know first hand about that, though.

Sure would be fun to try it for a few weeks, though 😉

It’s HOW LONG Until Christmas???

You know, I was done with shopping.

And then the kids made their lists.

And now I am at a loss.


I am lucky to have kids that are pretty low maintenance, though. One year, Son only wanted some tin of slime from ThinkGeek. Little One wanted a few manga books. Eldest is content with a sundial.

They may be odd, but still low maintenance.

As for me, I am happy to say I don’t need or want anything. I have enough pots, and now makeup, and Lord knows I got a ton of nail polish, so I’m pretty happy if I don’t get anything.

superbling christmas

Not a darn thing.

Sigh….time to go look for a sextant or whatever is on the list this year.

Thursday Never List

The past few nights I have had very little rest, so if this post makes no sense, I have an excuse this time.

It’s that time of the year again, when grown men quake in fear of potential death. No, not influenza. I’m talking about shopping for a Christmas gift for their significant others. Personally, I don’t envy y’all. I have met the enemy and she is us. I know we can be difficult to shop for, but there are some guidelines that can help y’all avoid pitfalls.

With the current weather, y’all do NOT want to be in the doghouse.

feel joy sweater lol

Thank goodness my name isn’t Joy.

Gifts to Avoid

#5– Electric knife

Seriously, you want to give her something to make dismembering you THAT much easier??

#4– Holiday themed clothing

It’s a nice sentiment, but she unwraps it the last day she can wear it and then has to put it away for eleven months until she can wear it again? That’s just torture. As a bonus, see the potential risk displayed in the photo above.

#3– Pets

As adorable as it would be, most people wish to pick out their own, just as pets like to pick out their humans.

#2– Housekeeping appliances

It’s ok to bring home a Roomba™ any time of the year while telling her that you think she needs time for herself. It is NOT ok to have it under the tree without explanation.

#1– Gym membership

If you do get this for her, at least be considerate and get a cemetery plot for yourself as well.

Remember, these are guidelines. Your significant other’s mileage may vary.

Mine does not 😉

Hard to Keep the Glamour Goddess Chained Sometimes

There are times when I amaze myself with my convoluted reasoning.

I will be the first to admit that I loathe to wear makeup. There are days I don’t even comb my hair, much less think of getting rid of the gray white. If I am not leaving the house, what’s the point, right? Kids don’t care and Hubby thinks I look just fine as I am. Something for which I am devoutly thankful.

But then I hear everyone telling him how young he looks, and I kinda get a wee bit….. discomfited. I have no problem growing older, or even looking older. But I do want to at least look the same age as he does. And it certainly doesn’t help when my friends counsel me to “look like an officer’s wife”. At least I already act like one, so I have that going for me. But Vanity reared her beautifully coiffed head, and so in a panic I got new makeup during the Black Friday sales.

TGIF fabulous

We’re talking new eyeshadows, nail colors, lipsticks, mascara, the works. If that doesn’t polish me into a semiprecious, rough cut topaz, I don’t know what will. But no matter what anyone says, I am keeping my gray. God kindly gave me highlights, and you just don’t mess with perfection 😉

Thursday Never List

As a rule, I am not one to buy into hype. Much. Sure, I see some gorgeous model trying to get you to buy mascara that will make your lashes visible from the moon, and I am so there. But that’s pretty much as far as I go. Ok, that and kitchen stuff. BUT THAT’S IT!!

For the most part, As Seen on TV stuff tends to go away faster than seem to stick around. Others tend to live in infamy.

sham wow

Things Never to Buy From TV

#5– My Secret Hair Enhancer Aerosol

Gentlemen, spraying a bald spot will only bring attention to it.

#4– Slim Away Body Wrap

Just FYI, Saran Wrap™ is way cheaper. So I hear.

#3– Perfect Pancake Pan

If you suffer from serious OCD issues, this is the pan for you. If you don’t, any regular pan will work.

#2– Perfect Polly Pet

If you don’t know, that is an animatronic parakeet. That’s really all you need to know.

#1– Pajama Jeans

No, just no.

Now, there are some fun things out in TV Pitchland that I admit I own. First up would be none other than the ShamWOW. That sucker has worked like a charm, and I don’t regret buying it for a minute.

Next up, a Chia Pet™ 😀


Last Thursday evening, my daughters finally had time on their hands to allow their mother to take them to a beauty store, Ulta Beauty™. Little One is now turning 14, and wanted to get some make-up. I figured we would go in, get her the stuff and come out in 30 minutes.

Boy, was I wrong.


We walk in, and immediately feel the familiar disorientation. So I do what any normal mom would do: walk around aimlessly until something familiar comes into view. YAY!! LIPSTICK!!! Not only do they have almost every brand of make-up known to Womankind, they had sections for every type of make-up as well. But I was there for my kid, not me. Fine….FINE!! We go in search of the Bare Escentuals™ line, since she prefers the expensive stuff mineral make-up, and find her a kit that she likes (she is my picky child). And slyly she adds, “Mom, it doesn’t come with lip gloss…” Well, what kind of a mom would I be if I didn’t get her lip gloss? A SMART ONE!!! But she had Eldest on her side on this and I was weakened by my want need of new lip colors, so I relented. And thank goodness that Ulta™ had their lip, eye and nail colors on sale for 50% off, because that meant that I could get some lipsticks by Lipstick Queen™, which I am not ashamed to say I have been coveting for about five years now.

I understand this is not about me, but work with me here.

We saunter over to the haircare section to get some hairclips, and spy the sale bins. This place is not for the weak-minded. They had nail colors and eye quads and since they were reasonably priced I piled some in the bag decided to get some for the girls so they could experiment with them. Rounding the next corner we see the facial washes and treatments and both girls pipe up that they are out of their stuff. It was almost synchronized. But you must have a clean canvas in order to paint a masterpiece, right? Sigh…

By now what started as just four “need” items has grown to far, far more. Besides the kit, there are mascaras, eyeliner, seven bottles of nail polish, lip glosses, lipsticks, facial washes, hairclips, hair treatments, and numerous eye shadow quads. In a haze, I tell the girls that this is enough for now, because Ulta isn’t going away any time soon. So I go up to the cashier, a lovely young lady who asks me if I wish to sign up for their rewards card. My first instinct is to say no, since I seldom do that anywhere. But then I take stock of everything on the counter and tell her yes, please. With an understanding glance, she signs me up, rings up my purchases and gives me a few unexpected discounts, and tells me to enjoy my evening. I carry their behemoth-sized bag out to the car while the girls chatter along happily. Inwardly I am cringing at the bill, but the girls are happy and bonding together, something that seldom happens. And that makes up for it, no pun intended.

And that was my experience at Ulta™. Suffice it to say, Hubby took it in stride, not even batting an eye. It helped that I threw my kid under the bus told him that Little One needed a lot of new stuff. Hey, if I am going down for this, I’m taking them with me. They are enablers of the highest caliber 😉

Ikea™ is Swedish for “Junk”

But what glorious junk it is!

Ikea™ is one of my favorite stores. I love, love, LOVE that place. It has everything. Unfortunately the nearest one is way north of me, about two hours. Hubby doesn’t much care for it because it isn’t solid-wood-to-pass-down-to-our-great-great-grandchildren quality. He also doesn’t like the hugeness of it. Or the crowds. Or the parking lot. About the only thing he likes about it is the view of the store from his rear-view mirror.

Anyway, I have been asking Hubby to stop there whenever we have a road trip up north, but invariably something happens to impede my wishes, be it by accident or design. Well, not this time! There is an Ikea™ on the west side of Houston and I am going to hit it like a screen door in a hurricane during my visit to my in-laws. And all for a few of these frames:

ribba frame1

Why? Because they are perfect for collages, and gifts, and pictures, and all sorts of stuff. I had bought several while in Germany, and kept giving them away. So, it’s time to replenish my stash, and maybe pick up a few lamp kits and shades and perhaps some vases to alter.

Because change is good 😀