On Why I Paint

It never, ever fails. I paint a piece of furniture, and invariably someone exclaims, “WHYYYYYY???”

Like many people, I love antiques and vintage furniture. I was definitely born in the wrong era. I am more at home wearing a poodle skirt. The 1950s are my jam!! I have been lucky to score several MCM (mid century modern) pieces for my home while perusing thrift stores. But honestly, that is not what I look for.

When I go thrifting, I look for furniture that is in bad shape already: missing veneer, missing drawers, chipped wood, damaged leather inserts, etc. Furniture that is beyond restoring is ideal for painting. Why? Because I won’t feel guilty for painting it!! I have no problems removing old veneer, patching dents and sanding out scratches. In such cases, painting the object would bring new life to it, and make it more contemporary.

There was a lot wrong with this piece. But the details were so pretty!! And so, I painted it and brought out the details with gilding. And even though it is not longer an “antique”, it is now a showpiece. But still, I am sometimes pained if I paint a vintage or antique piece that is in good condition, and that leads me to the other side of the coin: a client requests it.

That one is sooooooo tricky. You want to dissuade the client from painting a piece of furniture that is in immaculate condition. But the client has the last word, and you as the painter are there to do the job. Those are the words that go through my head as I take a brush to the wood. And after about five minutes, I am ok with painting it. The reason? I have already “ruined” it so now I must make it beautiful again. It makes no sense but that is how my mind works. I never claimed to be logical.

Now, when it comes to contemporary furniture, it’s a whole different game. A lot furniture today is made from MDF or particle board. I have absolutely no issues painting those. Some furniture makers still adhere to using solid woods and those I do respect, even outdated in style. Because as everyone knows, everything old eventually comes back in style. Some styles shouldn’t, but that’s just my personal, semi-professional opinion. Remember the 90s when everything was metal and glass? Oy!! I have no problem updating those pieces at all. It is amazing what a can of spray paint can do to bring a contemporary look to those pieces.

I hope this post helps to explain the whys and wherefores of my furniture painting. Painting furniture is not only a nice gig for me, but it’s also very therapeutic. And it’s easy with the right paint and tools. But the best part? You can always paint over your mistakes. That’s a measure of relief when starting out!! 😉

Turquoise Dresses….So Exciting!!!

As I live and breathe, I will never understand the evul that women do.

Sitting at the airport, I had the opportunity to be roped into a rather unconventional conversation. I was sitting there, minding my own business, when two lawyers begin to talk about upcoming nuptials. At first I thought they were talking about marrying each other, but no, one has a niece getting married and has been trying to talk sense into her to reign in expenses. From what I understood, the young woman wanted to have swans waddling around the reception area and a cake designed by Duff Goldman.

I’m pretty sure she watched Father of the Bride, and paid no attention to Steve Martin.

I smiled to myself, thinking of the havoc the swans would unleash on poor, unsuspecting guests, when the lady lawyer turned to me and asked out of the blue what I thought about spending several hundred dollars on a bridesmaid gown. I choked on my coffee and said, “Excuse me?”, which in turn released a floodgate of drama. The gal in question wanted her bridesmaids to wear gowns by Badgley Mischka, and shoes to match. I gaped at her. Badgley Mischka??? Number 24 on my List of Things to Do Before I Die is “Own a pair of Badgley Mischka shoes”. It’s on the list FOR A REASON!! (Oddly, on my List of 100, four of them involve shoes:#12- Louboutins, #24- Badgley Mischkas, #38- own a pair made by Daniel Day Lewis, and #87- own maroon Converse All-Stars. That’s the only shoe item I have thus far achieved scratching off my list). For those that are fashion unconscious, Badgley Mischka is a design house famous for their wedding and evening gowns. And by that, I mean one of their gowns can go for five figures. The shoes tend to be far more affordable, in the $300-600 range. So for this gal to ask her attendants to spend over four figures on a bridesmaid gown and shoes is a bit extravagant. Trying to quell the ire of the lady, I did mention that at least the gown could be used again for formal occasions, but then the gentleman lawyer broke in with the most important observation ever:

If women hate being caught in public in the same outfit, why would you subject your attendants to the same fate?

Now, that’s pure genius right there. Personally speaking, if I spy someone wearing the same outfit I am, I see it as a reflection of good taste, not a reason to freak out and hide and wonder if it’s not too late to go home and don a sack cloth. I understand the reason for that tradition (dress similar to confuse evil spirits), but it hardly fits in this day and age. I was a bridesmaid fifteen times, and with two exceptions, the dresses made me look like I was sticking out of the frosting on a cupcake. And every time we attendants absolutely and unequivocally loathed them. If I didn’t know any better, I would say the brides made us wear those ridiculous tulle-tufted, pastel-colored, stiff-necked, bouffant-sleeved taffeta atrocities because they hated us. I much prefer the more relaxed convention some brides take now, letting the bridesmaids choose any gown as long as it is in a specific color or style. This way the attendants can stand out and still be a recognizable group without being clones. It also lets the attendants stay within their own budget, and not at the mercy of a bridezilla whose only thought is to have people comment about her extravagant princess fantasy. A word of advice to would-be bridesmaids: always ask what the bride plans for your dress, and don’t be afraid to give her input. She is your friend, and she will pay attention to make sure the day is good for everyone.

Unless she hates you. Then get ready to look like a turquoise cupcake 😉

Aggie’s Christmas Gift Guide, 2015 Edition

Don’t worry. As much as I ❤ my Soma™ PJs, they are not on the list this year. Why? Because they should be on EVERYONE’S list every year. And not for special occasions, either. Soma PJs should be a staple in every gal’s wardrobe. Trust me on this.

This year, being cognizant of a distinct holiday fatigue, mostly due to the season being kickstarted in August, I complied a few items to help with the eventual stress that most of us who wait to shop for the perfect gift at the last minute will suffer.

Who doesn’t love the calming quality of lavender? L’Occitane™ offers a wonderful gift set that will render anyone mute with appreciation. Or make them SQUEEEE!!! Either way, it’s sure to be a keeper.

If your beloved is more of a techie and/or sports type, consider gifting a set of headphones. Just not any headphones.

Behold the Bose™ NFL Edition headphones. Yes, they are pricey, but we are not just talking quality and sports fanaticism here. I love mine because they block out everything, including the smoke alarm. Which could be a bad thing, but that’s what I have kids for.

Last but not least, what is the holiday without some bit of indulgence? Or a lot of indulgence. I won’t judge.

Williams-Sonoma™ offers many food-themed gift sets, but my pick is obviously the one to which I can add vodka. The Moscow Mule gift set comes with everything you need except the booze, but I’m sure most of us already have that in our stocks, right?? And bonus: you can use the mugs for hot chocolate, too, which you can get at the site.

I hope you have enjoyed Aggie’s Christmas Picks for 2015. I also hope one or two find their way under my Christmas tree this year. I’m not picky, but just FYI, I already own the headphones 😉

Flipping Ain’t Just for Burgers

As y’all know, I am a thrift store junkie. I’m not quite a diva. I haven’t reached the “found priceless artifact for $5” level yet. I am confident that one day I will eventually find the random Van Gogh, but until then I am quite content with finding mid-century vintage stuff that I can flip into a modern look. So far I have transformed a $10 dresser, a $2 lamp, and some antique frames. This week’s search was just as fruitful.

Via Etsy

I found a pair of Cosco metal folding chairs at the thrift store for $3. That’s $3 for the pair!! Look at those beautiful lines!!! They are in very good condition, with only a couple of rust marks and of course, the vinyl needs replacing. While looking for some color ideas, I came across a listing for a pair: $75.

At which point I was all wha……??

Me: Holy cow, these chairs are selling for a lot of money.

Little One: Do you plan to sell them?

Me: No, I want to redo them and use them outside.

LO: So no big deal, then.

Me: But $75???

LO: That can get you a bunch more chairs to store somewhere while you do yet more projects.

Me: Point taken.

I admit I get swamped by my zeal to make something old ab fab again. So I shall just keep to one project at a time until I have made enough room in my garage to buy more retro stuff to flip. Hopefully I will have finished these chairs by this weekend.

Right after I finish Eldest’s old dresser.

And my sister’s old framed art.

And the cushions on the dining chairs.

*sobs uncontrollably* 😀

Mom Day Gifts, As Seen On TV Edition

I haven’t done a shopping guide in a while. Y’all really do not need my help, for one, and there are only so many wineglasses one can own, for another. But there is a niche that is not quite ignored, but usually given a pass. That’s the “As Seen On TV!” stuff that you roll your eyes at until you are in Walgreens and see the display and wonder if the Sham WOW™ really works.

It does, just so you know. Don’t judge me.

Anyway, I figured some people are at wit’s end trying to get a nice gift for pocket money, or maybe just a gift for the mom who has pretty much everything. So I have gone and searched for y’all, and for my kids. Just in case they manage to read the blog. If they don’t, then I will remind them this weekend while there is still time.

One of the handiest gifts I ever received was Aqua Globe. My German neighbor gave me one when I lived in Germany and it was a handy way to water potted plants.

I think those were the only potted plants to survive Aggie’s German reign of terror. And the bulbs look very pretty, to boot.

Some things that women never tend to think about getting for themselves are foot pampering tools. I am partial to the Amope foot file. Ok, it sounds odd for me to say this would make a nice gift, but trust me: women often forget to take care of their feet. Throw in some nice body cream and a foot soak and BAM!! You are done. And if you really feel like sealing the deal, give her a foot massage to go with it. And peel a few grapes while you’re at it.

If all else fails, treat her to a nice picnic by a lake or a fountain and make sure to tell her thank you for putting up with everything. You don’t have to break the bank to make moms feel appreciated. The thought does count, even if it’s as simple as a jug of wine, a loaf of bread, and thou 😉

I May Suck at Blogging, But I Excel at Yorling

As y’all have noticed, I have lacked the will and the fluff to blog on a regular basis. My severe lack of happy is also affecting this, to the point that even Hubby has asked when I will get back to blogging. So you know it’s serious when he has noticed. Lately time has not been on my side, what with school stuff, work stuff, and itty bitty surgery (I’m fine, no worries). No sweets and no wine make Aggie a grumpy Sith, so what is left?

That’s right: YORLING!!!

For those who are new or don’t know the history of the term Yorling, it simply means whim shopping. Our blogger friend Mitchell over at Center of the Anomaly used to go by the nick “Enas Yorl”, and he is famous for whim shopping. He takes whim shopping to a serious level. Now, I’m not insane enough to shop for stuff I do not need. Mostly. But the other day I got a postcard from the Le Creuset™ Outlet advertising two wonderful things: a sale, and the new color, chiffon pink!!! And there on the bar was a Christmas gift card from my parents along with a birthday check from my parents ( I am lazy and wait until the last possible minute to go deposit anything), and on top of that, I had noticed an obvious lack of a large round Dutch oven in my collection. It was like Kismet and Karma decided to take some pity on me and align the planets and stars.

Meet Gigi, my 5.5 quart round Dutch oven. She is lovely, and is on display awaiting her christening this Sunday when she will be instrumental in making bread. Yes, you can make bread in a Dutch oven. I have a big French oval Dutch oven (heh, French and Dutch) but the round lends itself to more even heating. The best part of this was I had enough in my gifts and the sale that I only paid in the double digits. I count it as a win.

Chiffon pink…. cotton candy and fluff. And perfect for moi 😀

I’m a Jewelry Jinx

I’m one of the most minimal people y’all will ever know. About the only constant piece of jewelry I wear is my wedding band. But like a magpie, I do love, and I mean love to own bling. And mostly the fashion stuff. Who doesn’t love a huge neon pink rock on their finger, right?

That’s why the Ring Pop lollipop is so popular, my friends.

Anyway, like all women I have my favorite jewelry lines. Depending on the occasion my taste in bling changes. If I have a formal to attend (and those may be in my near future again, much to my feet’s chagrin), I tend to pick very bold pieces. If I’m going to a tea, I favor more whimsical items like flowers. If I’m going to lunch with Hubby, then I opt for just earrings. Even if the occasion is cleaning the bathroom, I do wear something blingy, like a tiara. Don’t judge me.

A few weeks ago, I was shopping for upcoming birthdays and decided to get my nieces some pretty fantasy jewelry. They loved my dragonfly necklace and I thought it would be nice to get them similar necklaces. Kirks Folly™ is my favorite jewelry for whimsy. So I go to their website…. and there is a “Thank You” posted to all their customers for a great 35 years. Undeterred, I go to QVC, and find it GONE!! As if this wasn’t bad enough, my favorite jewelry company, Lia Sophia™, declared bankruptcy a few months back! I’m in a total panic now. I do a search for Nolan Miller’s line, and….. gone. Kenneth Jay Lane? Discontinued. And with the passing of Joan Rivers, I worry that her line will also go the way of the dodo. I love her bee pins, and I am angling for her grape cluster pin before they discontinue it.

Now I have to go shop around for whimsy. Again. Which is fine since shopping is one of my gifts.

I just hope that Lolita™ never, ever retires.

Aggie’s Unconventional Guide to Valentine’s Day

Let me be clear: I can’t stand Valentine’s Day.

I love the romance and the idea and history behind the holiday, don’t get me wrong. But the commercialism makes me all stabby while pukey. I have written posts in the past to help y’all with gift ideas for your beloved. Some have been obvious (my go-to Lolita glass of the week) and some have been a bit….. odd (Zen perfume made from roses grown outside our atmosphere). So here is my list for no-fail gifts this Valentine’s Day.

#5– Electric drill

Honestly, most women would like to own one just so they could put up their own wall decor and also have a handy tool for those times when you need to be….persuasive.

#4– Santoku knife

Who doesn’t want a knife??

#3– Ear plugs

For those times when you finally run out of patience with questions, be it from kids, or coworkers.

#2– Car wash pass

Show her you love her enough to worry about her manicure, or at least worry what the neighbor’s think of her vehicular trash can.

#1– Personal vacation

Sending your beloved somewhere on his or her own is a great way to show them that you love them. Why? Because your beloved needs time away from you before that electric drill becomes necessary. News at 11.

So there you go. A list of awesome gifts for your sweetheart. I have three santoku knives, several pairs of ear plugs, and I am angling for the drill next. Also, I am not responsible for any reaction you may get from your beloved if you choose to heed my advice. As usual, my advice is unsolicited and should always fall on deaf ears, especially those ears with ear plugs. But should you feel the need to give a safer, more conventional gift, roses are always a wonderful idea.

So the florist tells me 😉

Picking Battles

I’m a wife and mother. Picking battles is something I do often. I have a 50% success rate, which is not bad considering.

You try dealing with a band director.

Anyway, I am slowly making some updates in the house. The floor was the latest. It was a five year wait, but completely worth it. Unfortunately, the contractor vetoed my plan to burn the Berber carpeting. He did let me stab it a few times, though. I thought he might think I was crazy but he told me his wife did the same thing. Yes, I am well aware that doesn’t rule out insanity. But it’s something. Anyway, one of the things I really, and I mean really want to do is the fireplace. It’s brick in a tan…beige…dun… blah color with blah mortar. I mean it’s there, but doesn’t stand out in any way. And that is supposed to be a feature in the living area. At first I wanted to take it all out, and replace it with slate, which is fantabulous. But the floors were paramount (not the movie company) and that was an expense we couldn’t afford. So then I decided why not paint it, right? And this is where Hubby just looked at me like I had grown another head and said I was nuts no, too much involved in doing it. So then I was casually asking my contractor how I could repaint or stain the brick on the fireplace, to which he replied that it wasn’t a great idea because of the time and amount of ventilation required.

Suffice it to say, everyone is against me.

It was grating on my nerves, dealing with the boring drabness of the fireplace. I watch Property Brothers on HGTV and see the Flynn Ryder twin repainting fireplaces all the time!! But I was vetoed. GAH!!! As I sat there, wondering which house some Canadian couple was going to buy from the dapper twin, I saw it: a bold, beautiful BIG glob of glass sitting on a shelving unit in the background. And as I looked at my fireplace, I noticed something: everything, and I mean everything I had decorating it was in the same color range as the damn brick. Browns, beiges, tans, ambers…. no wonder that fireplace was so awful. That glob of glass stood out like a gorgeous preening peacock screeching LOOK AT MOI!!! And I knew, sure as the sun will rise, that I had seen it somewhere before.

Behold Ikea’s Stockholm vase. Actually, it is one of three Stockholm vases they carry in different styles and colors. Which begs the question: why call it the same name when they are different? Well, it’s Ikea. That’s what they do to mess with the customer. I recalled seeing the vase back on Mother’s Day when I last went to Swedesville. I liked them but had no idea where I would place them in the house. So I passed on them. Fast forward a few months and I am upstate for my nephew’s wedding, and my brother’s lovely girlfriend offers to entertain me by obliging my jones and taking me to Ikea, which is only 20 minutes from her home, unlike mine which is about 2 ½ hours if I’m lucky. So now Phase One of Fireplace Redo is complete, because I bought its taller, greener brother as well. Hey, one for either side of the fireplace, ok? I know it’s female logic, but it works. Trust me 😀

Spinning Round

I’ve been a little morose and serious lately, and forgot that my job is to entertain my captive audience with Aggie’s exploits. Nothing so exciting as regaling y’all with stories of how I managed to be in three places at once while baking cookies.

Anyway, one of the things that has seriously gotten under my skin lately is home updates. I blame my sister Reno Queen for that. You see, she has been updating the finishes in her home, like lighting and wall decor. That means that she needs to dispose of the stuff she no longer needs, which in turn means I get to enjoy new stuff!!! So I will be updating the light fixtures in the house soon. Of course, since I am getting new lighting for the main areas of the house, I decided I had to get an updated fixture for the bedroom. But as y’all know, Hubby is adamant in having a ceiling fan. I wanted some glamorous bling and set up a fan on his side of the bed, but no. It needs to be a ceiling fan. He really meant NEED. So I looked into a new ceiling fan, and found one with an acceptable amount of bling.

See?? I love the drum shade that does NOT expose lightbulbs, and look, just LOOK at the glass sphere that gives it just the right amount of bling. I showed a picture of it to my sister, and her response was….. lukewarm. Not her style, she admits, but she agrees that it’s a good compromise for Hubby and me. And if I can’t have a chandelier in my bedroom, at least I have something pretty to look at when I dust it.

Next on the list? The carpeting. Whoever said Berber carpeting was awesome was either drunk, or selling it. So now the new battle begins: tile, or wood? In truth I’m fine with either, as long as I get to set the carpeting on fire 😀