The Olden Days

Last night we had a block party for the neighborhood. I was the ONLY adult that dressed up for Halloween. Thank goodness I passed on the fairy costume. I think I a bit long in the tooth for that. I went as a be bopper.  You know: rolled jeans, boyfriend shirt with rolled sleeves, bobby socks…like this:

I had my hair up in a pony tail, and bright red lipstick, blue eyeshadow and cat eyeliner, and even a scarf in a bow! I was cool!!!

Until a teenage kid asked me what I was supposed to be.

Understanding that some kids really don’t know there was a century before this one, I explained as best as I could. Still, he wasn’t getting it. Until another kid piped up to explain:

Kid #2: She’s dressed like The Outsiders, remember?

Kid #1: Oh yeah, like in the old days.

Me: (Hears the grave calling. Gives them yucky candy)

Next year I’m going to dress up like the Crypt Keeper.  He’s closer to my age.

Proof Twilight at the New Moon Can Cause You to Eclipse the Breaking Dawn

Personally speaking, I am heartily sick of sparkling vampires and well-groomed werewolves. I’m not one to enjoy gory movies for the sake of being scared, mind you. But I firmly believe that vampires and werewolves should fall in the “gorefest” category, and not in the “sparkly” one. But the teens seemed to enjoy the Twilight saga, and it helped to encourage legions to read, so I can’t bash it too much.

A more realistic version of Twilight....

Anyway, Eldest was chatting (texting, whatever teens do nowadays) with a friend, when she turned to me and brought up the subject.

Eldest: Mom, did you know that Breaking Dawn opens on a school night?

Me: What they do is premier a movie on Thursday at midnight, so they can technically say it opened on Friday.

Eldest: Well, (her friend) wants us all to go at midnight to see it.

Me: Uh, no. It’s a school night, plus you have drill practice on Friday morning.

Eldest: I can get plenty of sleep. I’ll be home by 2 AM and get up by 6 AM.

Me: If you think you are going to a midnight showing on a school night, you are seriously deluded.

Eldest: Mom, you are using the wrong word. That’s not the one derived from delusional.

Me: Of course it is!

Eldest: Then what is the word you use when adding water?

Me: That’s DILUTED!!

Eldest: (laughing her derriere off).

I’m still not sure if that was a cleverly laid trap for me. I am sure, however, that she isn’t attending the midnight premiere 😉

Oh, and this is possibly the longest post title I’ve ever done!

Ode to a Sunday

Ahhh, Sunday.

How I miss you during the week.

I bask in thy pleasurable silence,

Letting the peacefulness seep into my bones.

But just as the winter days are short,

So is my time alone.

No sooner do I begin to enjoy you,

That the first screech is emitted from the bowels of the house.

And as the dogs bark in accompaniment to the cacophony of “STOP IT!!”

I rejoice once more in having had a bit of this day to enjoy.

*No, it doesn’t rhyme, but it’s all about the message!! Enjoy your Sunday!!

Twitterings

I like social media. It helps me to keep up with family. Sometimes, I’m blindsided by some family crisis that someone forgot to tell me. So it’s handy. I don’t play games or answer questions or do causes. My causes and charities are my own. But overall, it can be fun, especially when others talk about their days, and you find that your life is pretty normal after all.

Lately, some changes have prompted friends to try other social media sites, and the birdy one comes up as being the most endorsed.

It’s a challenge to limit what you say to no more than 140 characters. But once you overcome that, it seems pretty easy to be brief. But, I don’t think it’s for me. A friend of mine asked when I was going to get an account. I replied that brevity was the soul of wit….

….and I have no soul… 😉

 

Random Comments

XBradTC over at Bring the Heat, Bring the Stupid had a funny post of random thoughts. I thought I would take his cue and post some of mine, since I seem to be running very late this morning.

I don’t understand the need for multiple ear piercings. Makes me want to hang chains from each one.

Vienna sausages should come packaged in slightly bigger cans. I don’t want to fight with the can for food.

There is a certain satisfaction I get when I organize the Tupperware cabinet. It only lasts five minutes before it gets ruined, though.

One can never have too many knives or cooks in the kitchen. Conversely, one can have too many vultures sampling the delights.

I don’t get why HD and big screen TVs are a must in the house. I live with it, but don’t get it.

I don’t understand why a recipe calls for 1 cup of broth, but the broth comes in 14.5 oz cans.

Tomato paste that comes in a sealable tube is a must for every kitchen.

Toothpaste seems to be coming out in colors, instead of flavors. So is Gatorade™.

Ok, that’s enough from me for one day. Y’all have a good one!

Watching My Tongue

I hate, hate, HATE censoring anything. It goes against everything I believe in. But sometimes, even innocent things can come back and bite you in the hindquarters.

Eldest was having a tough time with her Physics homework last night. Son is a wiz when it comes to that, so he decided to help her. While he was explaining to her things like velocity and acceleration and a tree that apparently a car hit, she sighed and said, “This is why I don’t like Physics.”

Whereupon the Sage of Casa de Aggie says this:

“You don’t have to like it. You have to conquer it! You have to drive a stake through it’s heart and pluck it from it’s chest and eat it while it’s still beating! That’s what you have to do to physics! You have to make it your little–well, you know what I’m saying.”

I have to admit, that was pretty cool of me to say. And I did manage to censor myself before I said something totally inappropriate in front of the kids. Still, I had gained some coolage brownie points with my kids, who usually see me as a fuddy duddy, stuffy old bat.

Yesirree Bob, I was cool!!

Cool enough for my Eldest to put that on her status at Facebook. GAH!!!

I hope no one judges me too harshly. Coolage brownie points still count for something!

It’s the Little Things

Last night I had to make an emergency run to the grocery store because I had just run out of milk. I don’t know what it is with the kids, but lately they have been drinking milk like it’s going out of style. I had also run out of creamer for my coffee this morning, but since I use milk when I’m out, I hadn’t thought to get more. Well, that was shot, so of course I had to go to the store for sure! Anyway, after fighting with the fridge rack to let go of the last bottle of non-fat hazelnut (I give up fats, not sugars. I’m not stupid), I start walking to the front of the store to pay for my foodstuffs when I saw this:

I do ♥ me some Shiner, and I do enjoy their seasonals. Well, it is October, so I figure this is a sign. Beer is food, right? I thought so. So, I grab a six pack, and finally come to the register to check out, and surprisingly, the gentleman asks to see my ID. Well, ok… I show him my ID, and he proceeds to ring up the rest of the groceries. And then I see this:

Did you read that?? “Appearing under the age of 40″!!!! He carded me because I LOOK YOUNGER THAN 40!!!!

WINNING!!!!

On Etiquette

No, I don’t even pretend to be Emily Post. I don’t even pretend to be the most well-mannered person. But there are some things that just get under my skin, and tend to make my blood boil out through my pores.

If you call me, call to talk to me, not to another person in the room, with whom you choose to get into an argument while I listen to the taudry details of whether or not you owned a particular brand of skillet. I do NOT care.

If you decide to drive on the left lane, please be aware that you are supposed to go a bit faster than the other people in the other lanes, because it is for passing. Don’t be a left lane vigilante and force the rest of humanity to go three miles under the speed limit out of the goodness of your heart. If I want a ticket, I will damn well earn it.

If the check-out line is for ten items or less, and you have 11 or 12 items, it’s no big deal to me. If you have a cartful of stuff, it becomes an issue. If you insist that you have a right to check out in that line because you are a taxpayer, or because you are in a hurry, it will cause a detonation of your milk jug all over your head.

While I am glad you wear boxers, I am NOT glad to see it. It is referred to as underwear for a reason. Unless you happen to be Heidi Klum or Jason Statham, pull your pants up and use a belt. You look like a convict.

If you are driving a vehicle that is capable of major damage, and even death, don’t use your freakin’ cellphone. Pull the hell over and answer it. And while you’re at it, put the damn thing away if you are eating at my table. I will toss the cellphone in the trash disposer if you insist on using it while eating dinner in my home.

Sigh…ok, I think I will stop for now. Too early for a beer.

But not too early for cookies 😀

Networking Fail

Sometimes it’s fun to be on a social network. You get to see what your friends are up to, and catch up on current events, and best of all, keep track of your kids and their friends. The worst part about it is the ads. Sure, I understand that’s an income generator for the network, but sometimes their ad placement leaves me wondering. This is what came up, after I had clicked on a link on YouTube:

Uh, excuse me?? Credit card application and boudoir photography? And for those of you wondering, the video was Still Alive from the “Portal” videogame. I still can’t get that earworm out of my head. And what Portal and the cake being delicious and moist has to do with boudoir photography and American Express, I still don’t know.

Unless it’s a lie 😉

Blogosphere News

As y’all know, I’m a relative newbie to the intertubewebnets. True, I have blogged for a while at H&B, but I have only had my own blog for a few months. It’s a work in progress. Or regress. I’m still not sure. Maybe it’s more stagnant than anything. Whatever the case may be, I’m here to have fun, and y’all are here to make fun of my mishaps 😀

Anyway, I wanted to take the time to introduce a new blog on the scene. Our friend QueenBee has decided to come to the Blog Side™!! Her blog is full of the wisdom that comes with her eventual ruling of the world. If only her rules would be followed, the world would be a better place, indeed.

Not her crown, but she deserves it!!

So, let us all be faithful minions, and go give her some windbaggery love!!