Taking the Wheel

I don’t know who is more nervous: Eldest, or me.

I’m not a great teacher, no matter how patient I am. I don’t have the confidence, I suppose. But now Eldest is learning to drive, and that means she needs practice.

She gets behind the wheel, and you know what? It’s fun!! She starts off a bit nervous, and then begins to drive comfortably and explain everything that she will be doing. All I do is sit back, and not distract her. At least for now. Her father has a bad habit of pointing out things while she is driving, and that *ahem* drives her nuts. Of course, he is teaching her to drive like a man, which means I have to put myself in his shoes and adhere to his style. But not to worry. I shall refrain from describing the driving cones as little elf hats and telling her that parking between the lines is like making a car sandwich 😉

Random Stuff, Because It’s Wednesday and Laundry Never Ends

My apologies for not writing a post yesterday. I wasn’t feeling all that well, and the cerebrum decided it was better suited to replaying the movie Dragnet, complete with rap song at the end. Honestly, I remembered the whole movie all morning long. It’s probably why I had a hankering for chili dogs and a Shirley Temple™.

I have never understood the Designated Pitcher rule. Don’t try to explain it. I will just tune the words out of my retinas.

Why can’t mosquitoes suck fat?

If your significant other asks you to make a sandwich, do it. After all, you chose to be with them for a reason.

Always write your Christmas List™ in pencil.

And lastly remember this: “STRESSED” is “DESSERTS” spelled backwards. That means it’s always time for chocolate.

Hope y’all have a great day!! 😀

Lush-ious

There was a good reason as to why I didn’t write a post yesterday. A very good reason.

This was my first trip to attend, and it was awesome! The Gruene Music and Wine Fest is considered a stepping stone for performers, and attracts people from all over the USA. Several well-known country music stars got the start at the Fest, including Garth Brooks. Gruene Hall is still a popular venue as well as a tourist attraction. But I wasn’t there for the music, as good as it sounded coming from the Hall. Nope, I had missed out on Clint Black, so I set my eyes on the prize.

WHOOP!! Your very own tasting glass. For a fee of $20 (which in retrospect, is pretty steep) you get a cheap tasting glass and five tickets for five tastings. Now, there were dozens of wineries featured. DOZENS!!!! Five tickets were just not going to cut it, right? Luckily for the gals, Hubby had volunteered to be our designated driver in exchange for videotaping our drunken conversations, and he divvied up his tickets between the rest of us. And by a strange quirk of fate, we got extra tickets, so we didn’t have to buy any more! I ♥ Fate. Anyway, we managed to sample some wines from several small wineries, finding some to be hidden gems in the rough, so to speak. Others….not so much. I do have to give a shout out to the best winery name we saw: Three Dudes Winery. I ask you: how can you go wrong with that?? And yes, their wine was very good. All in all, a great time was had by all, and I’m sure I will be making a return trip next year.

Next up on the fest roster: WURSTFEST!!

Because you can’t go wrong with German food and beer 😉

Whoops…. I Forgot…

Hubby is home today, since he gets to enjoy a four-day weekend, and I completely forgot that my job here is to entertain y’all.

FORGIVE ME!!!!!!!!!

Anyway, short story: I have to go figure out how to get paint off his car right now, so here’s the funniest thing I have seen in the last twenty minutes.

FYI, the only thing I don’t have is a cat suit, because I don’t want to look like chorizo.

Have a great Friday!! 😉

In My Next Life

Y’all have read that cute little email or post about how women want to be a bear in their next life, right?

I don’t.

Sure, you get to sleep through your pregnancy and eat whatever you want, and never have to shave, and kill whatever threatens your cubs, and hey, even fish all day.

Before caffeination.

I’m a “glass empty” kind of gal. I don’t want to come back as a mama bear. That just means I will end up as someone else’s fur rug or trophy. The only upside to being a bear is being able to terrorize campers in Yellowstone. And even then you run the risk of being shot with thorazine, or worse, shot with bullets. No thanks. I’ll pass on being a bear.

No, in my next life I want to be an American Bald Eagle. Awesome eyesight, sharp talons, great nesting, and totally protected. Even my feathers are protected.

I just hope I come back in the US side, and not Canada 😀

It Feels Mondayney

Because it is.

It all began with setting the wrong time on my alarm: PM for AM. I overslept, and the dogs barking at the door roused me from a rather interesting dream where I was selling mangoes by the side of the road and Richard Burton buying a peck for his crush, Lindsay Lohan. I asked him if he knew he was dead, and he said he did, but he “came back” for Lindsay. I asked him if he was interested in dating her, and he said she thinks it’s just for dating, but that he needs to fill a roster for the Grim Reaper.

If I were Ms. Lohan, I would take rehab seriously.

Anyway, I took the kids to school, dropped off my neighbor’s little girl, and came back to the smell of colitas spray paint, rising up through the air. Turns out Hubby drove over a can of spray paint in the garage. So, not only is one of Eldest’s things for her room ruined, he got spray paint on his car, too. Luckily, I know how to take that off. Then it was off to take my BIL back to his barracks, and then finally to take Little One’s PE clothes to school, because since everyone overslept, she forgot.

I ask you: why do I have to be the one to wake everyone, when they ALL have their own alarm clocks??

Anyway, this week can’t get any worse, right? RIGHT?? Here’s hoping y’all’s doesn’t, either 😉

Not Even Trying Today

I got up and felt like a cat had chewed me up, spit me out, and dragged through pond scum.

And I’m not even sick. Just tired.

I was thinking of doing a giveaway for the blog. Something either made by me or just some random weird thing I find at the clearance section of Home Depot. Or the Dollar Store. Not sure yet.

Then I thought of doing a simple dish each week and featuring it so that the food pic haters would have some angst in their lives. But that’s not how I operate. I don’t like fostering angst. I like fostering fear.

I also thought about posting pretty thought of the day. Then I recalled I am Sith.

Anyway, I will think of something tomorrow. For now, I am off to paint PVC pipes, attach a ventilation duct for a dryer on the ceiling, and make a lamp out of a flowerpot.

Don’t judge me because I’m crazy. Judge me because I am too tired to make a rebuttal, and this is your only chance 😉

Ugh….Starduay

There’s football today.

I can’t escape….

Wine? Check.

Beer? Check.

Cold cuts? Check.

Rosary? Double Check.

Y’all have a great Starduay!!! 😉

My Empire for a Pillow

This post has been 30 years in the making. At least, it feels like it.

I have owned the same pillow since I was sixteen years old. I love my pillow. It’s latex, not feather, and I do get it dry cleaned on a regular basis, so don’t get all icky on me. Anyway, everyone tells you that you must replace your pillow every so-many-years, since pillows tend to “break”. And I have tried. Boy, have I tried….

The first replacement I bought in college. It was a feather/foam type. As soon as I lay on it, it just flattened. I was so disappointed, because the salesperson absolutely guaranteed I would sleep like a baby. Turns out I did. A colicky one.

The second time, I found a latex pillow, and I was ecstatic! It was JUST LIKE MINE!! We were in the process of moving from San Antonio to Fayetteville, NC, when I realized my pillow had been packed with all the household goods. GAH!! We went to some big name housestuff store, and I found it. It was just the right size, too: three inches at the middle thickness. That is important, as you will see later. Anyway, we drove out from Houston to Pensacola, and stayed at a La Quinta overnight. And in my hurry to pack up in the morning, I left my pillow in the hotel room!!

Some hotel staffer is sleeping well in Pensacola.

The third time was only two years ago. I decided to splurge on a memory foam pillow, because that’s all the rage and it’s supposed to conform to your head, blah, blah, blah… So I do. I spend $50 on a pillow, but I am prudent enough to keep my old one, just in case. I try it out that night, hoping against hope that it works.

And I ended up waking up feeling rather stabby. GAH!! This time, Little One ended up with the premium pillow. At least she loves that thing, so it wasn’t a waste of time or money.

I scoured all over town for latex pillows, and finally found one. Number Four was latex, and firm, and awesome. But it was four inches thick, and I ended up waking up with a crick in my neck every morning. So, Son becomes the proud owner of a very nice latex pillow, and Momma once again literally dusts off her old pillow for her use.

Fast forward to last Saturday. Hubby and I had been contemplating a new mattress set. The old one was fine, but the box spring tended to creak horribly if you so much as looked at it. So, you can let your imagination wander here. And….you can stop now. Suffice it to say, it wasn’t conducive to a good night’s sleep, either. So, we went to get a new set, and while purchasing the mattress, I spied another foam pillow. The salesman told me it was a top seller, and I tried it out. Seemed the right height, so I added it to the final purchase. I awaited its arrival in eager anticipation. FINALLY, a new pillow for me!!!

And after two nights of waking up in discomfort, I have to take it back. Short of me shaving off an inch from the pillow top, I don’t see how it can work for me. So, either Eldest will end up with it, or the store will.

All I know is, my old, trusty pillow will probably be with me forever. At least, until I get cremated. Then we will have to part, because burning latex can be toxic, and I don’t want that ending up in the sewage along with my ashes 😉

It’s Sunday!

And I got nothing for today.

Today I am going to the hardware stores in search of stuff for jewelry and Steampunk. Yes, I did say “jewelry”. But not for me. I have plenty. Well, ok…I do need to make some Steampunk style jewelry, so I should pick up more of these:

Oh, and I also have to cook something delish for Yabu. He has a fantabulous contest going on whereby we in the Blogosphere will be posting food pics and recipes!! It’s called the “NATIONAL IRRITATE A FOOD PIC HATER FOOD PIC POSTING WEEK” or NIAFPHFPPW for short. I shall be updating this blog with tonight’s feastology.

This is probably the most rambling post I’ve done this year.

Anyway, until then, have a great one, and feel free to join the foodie fun at Yabu’s!! 🙂

DELICIOUS UPDATE!!!

Slow Cooked Porkchops;

• Six thick-cut porkchops (boneless or bone-in)
• One bottle BBQ sauce
• One onion, halved and sliced.

Place porkchops in slow cooker, then layer onions over them, then pour bottle of BBQ sauce over it. Cook on low for 6 hours. Recipe stolen creatively borrowed from Laura a long time ago. Trust me, it is AWESOME!

Oh, and since I didn’t have any dinosaurs or fighter jets, I decided that Carl the Psycho Llama would grace the montage just fine. Tell me I’m wrong.

I dare ya 😉