Tropical Treasure

One of my favorite little critters is the coquí, the national symbol of Puerto Rico. It is one of the cutest tree frogs, or hylas, in the world. They aren’t poisonous, but are very abundant, and because they are so small, they are everywhere.

Their song is a beautiful lullaby after a rain, and at night. It is said that a coquí will not sing outside of Puerto Rico, so here is a taste of nighttime in my tropical home:

Now, what I call a lullaby, others call a cacophony. My brother went to PR to visit for a week, hanging out with my dad. And this was our conversation via text:

Bro: (sends pic of coquí in can)

Me: How adorable!

Bro: No, how effin noisy.

Me: HAHAHAHA!!!

Bro: I feel accomplished for catching two in one night. Dad told me I achieved Hubby status.

Me: (laughs even harder)

Me: (catching my breath) Are they still yapping?

Bro: No, I threw them into the empty lot next door.

Me: (laughs hard enough to choke)

Bro: People that don’t know Puerto Ricans think that they yell because they are mad… but I think it’s just because sustained time on this island is cause for auditory damage.

I suppose it’s all relative. 😉

Proof Twilight at the New Moon Can Cause You to Eclipse the Breaking Dawn

Personally speaking, I am heartily sick of sparkling vampires and well-groomed werewolves. I’m not one to enjoy gory movies for the sake of being scared, mind you. But I firmly believe that vampires and werewolves should fall in the “gorefest” category, and not in the “sparkly” one. But the teens seemed to enjoy the Twilight saga, and it helped to encourage legions to read, so I can’t bash it too much.

A more realistic version of Twilight....

Anyway, Eldest was chatting (texting, whatever teens do nowadays) with a friend, when she turned to me and brought up the subject.

Eldest: Mom, did you know that Breaking Dawn opens on a school night?

Me: What they do is premier a movie on Thursday at midnight, so they can technically say it opened on Friday.

Eldest: Well, (her friend) wants us all to go at midnight to see it.

Me: Uh, no. It’s a school night, plus you have drill practice on Friday morning.

Eldest: I can get plenty of sleep. I’ll be home by 2 AM and get up by 6 AM.

Me: If you think you are going to a midnight showing on a school night, you are seriously deluded.

Eldest: Mom, you are using the wrong word. That’s not the one derived from delusional.

Me: Of course it is!

Eldest: Then what is the word you use when adding water?

Me: That’s DILUTED!!

Eldest: (laughing her derriere off).

I’m still not sure if that was a cleverly laid trap for me. I am sure, however, that she isn’t attending the midnight premiere 😉

Oh, and this is possibly the longest post title I’ve ever done!

Watching My Tongue

I hate, hate, HATE censoring anything. It goes against everything I believe in. But sometimes, even innocent things can come back and bite you in the hindquarters.

Eldest was having a tough time with her Physics homework last night. Son is a wiz when it comes to that, so he decided to help her. While he was explaining to her things like velocity and acceleration and a tree that apparently a car hit, she sighed and said, “This is why I don’t like Physics.”

Whereupon the Sage of Casa de Aggie says this:

“You don’t have to like it. You have to conquer it! You have to drive a stake through it’s heart and pluck it from it’s chest and eat it while it’s still beating! That’s what you have to do to physics! You have to make it your little–well, you know what I’m saying.”

I have to admit, that was pretty cool of me to say. And I did manage to censor myself before I said something totally inappropriate in front of the kids. Still, I had gained some coolage brownie points with my kids, who usually see me as a fuddy duddy, stuffy old bat.

Yesirree Bob, I was cool!!

Cool enough for my Eldest to put that on her status at Facebook. GAH!!!

I hope no one judges me too harshly. Coolage brownie points still count for something!

Flowing Like a River

I woke up in tears today. My baby is growing up way too fast for my liking. Today she celebrates her 12th birthday. That’s in calendar years. If we were going by attitude and experience, she would be 40.

I’m also crying because I had forgotten that Eldest and Son would be going on an ROTC trip. So I shall be handling footie massages and facials and manicures for a bunch of squealing girls on my own. But it’s her day, and Little One is sure pulling her weight around the house, so I can’t complain too much.

Time flows like a river, as do tears of joy 🙂

A Fine Romance

We are all raised to believe that a romance is when a guy posing as a prince comes to rescue a girl posing as a damsel in distress. She weeps in helplessness, he comes in and finds a way to rescue her from whatever malaise she suffers, and they ride off into the sunset, happily ever after.

What horsepuckey!!

Yes, I said it. HORSEPUCKEY!!!

Don’t get me wrong. I read trashy bodice-ripper novels all the time. They make excellent bathtub reading material, and help to keep me sane by giving me some much needed brain candy. But I know Real Life™ doesn’t work that way. A true romance has pitfalls, and anger, and sadness, and joy, and laughter, and misunderstandings, and things that make you go “Hmm….”. Real romance may have flowers and candy sometimes, but more often than not, it has oil changes and beer. Sometimes it has jewelry, but more than likely it will have an installed dishwasher.

True romance is about knowing each other, and still wanting to be with each other, warts and all 🙂

Here I Go Again…

Time again for a birthday party. Yay, me…

This time, it’s for Little One. She is….more picky. At first, she wanted a zombie party, complete with a tombstone shaped cake. Two days later, she changed her mind. She wanted a masquerade party: costumes, masks, the works. Three days after that, she wanted a spa party sleepover. It’s crunch time, so I’m planning for the spa party. A sleepover spa party….

I shall be the manicurist and facial expert, and Eldest is slated to be the hair stylist and masseuse. Cucumbers will be sliced and cooled, ready to go on puffy eyes once I have applied a fruit masque. While that dries, I shall be giving each girl a quick manicure, while Eldest gives footsie massages to tired toes. And once all the gunk is washed off, we shall enjoy birthday cupcakes!!

In the morning, we shall be having pancakes, do some last minute pampering and hair styling, and then the girls will leave with their very own little spa kit. Thank goodness for Bath and Body Works™.

In the afternoon, I shall be breaking in my new wine glass 😉

I Love My Dog

I do. She is such a sweet natured thing. She only barks when the door rings, or when she spies a stranger in the front. She never nips at food you give her, but instead she takes gently from your fingers. She loves to get a hug from anyone, and will lay down with you to cuddle. When you hold her, she will give you the sweetest “kiss”, and sigh in contentment.

She is also Destructo.

She has never grasped the “Fetch” concept, seemingly content to go fetch, and keep item to chew. She has even destroyed Kong balls, chewed bits off and swallowed them, only to magically reappear on the carpet among the multitudinous echoes of her stomach leavings. Thankfully, she doesn’t chew on anything in the house. But gift her with any toy, and it’s Goodbye, Charlie:

That’s about 25% of the leftover stuffing in her little chewtoy. Hubby was right: never give a dog a toy that resembles anything YOU may own. Otherwise socks, shoes and dolls will be fair game. And you see how Berber carpet kinda looks like a chewtoy?? Yeah, I do go around clipping the little threads that she seems to find so entertaining.

But I can never be mad at her for long.

Look at those eyes!! Just look at them!!!

She might not be the brightest dog out there, but she lurves her mom 🙂

Finding Your Center

I am not the most competitive person on the planet. In fact, sometimes I frustrate Hubby because I am content to participate, but not necessarily yearn to win, be it a board game, or playing outside, or even playing cards. Heck, you can forget about dominoes!! His grandfather was a champion, and wrote a book on the game!!

Sometimes, though, I do like to win.

I remember back in 7th grade, our PE teacher, AKA Attila, decided we girls were not to play manly sports. As you can possibly imagine, that pronouncement did not go over well with the female contingent. But no one listened to the students back then. Anyway, Coach Attila gets it into his head that we little helpless females will learn archery. He honestly thought it was a girls activity.

We start to practice, and some of us discover we have an aptitude for it. Breathe in, find your center, pool the quiet, and let go. There’s something about the twang of the bow as you let go a sharp projectile aimed at an imaginary picture of your coach. Some of us were so proficient, that the guys who were off playing flag football asked if they could try it.

All of them got trounced, including Coach Attila. That was an awesome day.

Fast forward to 2004. While on a visit to Poland, we stayed at Zamek Kliczkow. One of the oldest castles in Poland, it had been converted into a hotel. And on the weekends, they had archery demonstrations.

The Archer was situated in what was once the moat, and invited all to come down and try their hand at bows and arrows. We all went down, since the kids were agog at the medieval trappings on display. First up was Hubby, and he did pretty well. And then it was my turn….

That is my archery trophy, presented on my birthday, courtesy of Eldest when she was only 9 years old. The only trophy I will keep forever.

Sometimes winning is the only thing 😉

Lessons Learned

I’m not the best housewife, or cook, or parent. As most of us do, I learn as I go, and in 17 and a half years of marriage and parenthood, I have learned a few things:

1. There is a difference between baking powder and baking soda. This can mean the difference between muffins, and paperweights.
2. Never put dishwashing liquid in a dishwasher. Unless you also need to shampoo the carpet in the living room.
3. Bedroom doors are not made of solid wood. Any holes made by errant feet can be covered with a pretty kickplate.
4. The only good thing about Berber carpeting is its ability to keep dogs entertained as it unravels.
5. Spouses should never have similar looking razors. It can mean the difference between “baby smooth”, and “Leatherface”.
6. Buttermilk is not made by adding butter to milk.
7. Checking pockets prior to washing will not only save you from having to wipe down lipgloss in the dryer with cleaner, but can also net you a nice $20 tip.
8. Water resistant does not mean waterproof, especially when it comes to watches, and mp3 players holding hours of music that you paid for.
9. A child using a rake to clean up leaves outside is a Good Thing™. The same child using a rake to clean a room inside is not.
10. Ceiling fans are NOT propellers. Nor are they for swinging toys like superheroes.

I’m sure y’all have your own list. Mine seems to be unending 😉

Heavy Hearts

I miss him already.

We dropped off the kids this morning. Each one hugging and kissing their dad, as I kept a fixed smile on my face while feeling my heart leaden. We came home to pack his bag, and gather sundry last minute stuff for his trip. And tonight, after the kids have gone to bed, I will walk around the house, picking up everything he left behind, and praying for his swift return home.

Hopefully, time will fly at the speed of light.