I May Suck at Blogging, But I Excel at Yorling

As y’all have noticed, I have lacked the will and the fluff to blog on a regular basis. My severe lack of happy is also affecting this, to the point that even Hubby has asked when I will get back to blogging. So you know it’s serious when he has noticed. Lately time has not been on my side, what with school stuff, work stuff, and itty bitty surgery (I’m fine, no worries). No sweets and no wine make Aggie a grumpy Sith, so what is left?

That’s right: YORLING!!!

For those who are new or don’t know the history of the term Yorling, it simply means whim shopping. Our blogger friend Mitchell over at Center of the Anomaly used to go by the nick “Enas Yorl”, and he is famous for whim shopping. He takes whim shopping to a serious level. Now, I’m not insane enough to shop for stuff I do not need. Mostly. But the other day I got a postcard from the Le Creuset™ Outlet advertising two wonderful things: a sale, and the new color, chiffon pink!!! And there on the bar was a Christmas gift card from my parents along with a birthday check from my parents ( I am lazy and wait until the last possible minute to go deposit anything), and on top of that, I had noticed an obvious lack of a large round Dutch oven in my collection. It was like Kismet and Karma decided to take some pity on me and align the planets and stars.

Meet Gigi, my 5.5 quart round Dutch oven. She is lovely, and is on display awaiting her christening this Sunday when she will be instrumental in making bread. Yes, you can make bread in a Dutch oven. I have a big French oval Dutch oven (heh, French and Dutch) but the round lends itself to more even heating. The best part of this was I had enough in my gifts and the sale that I only paid in the double digits. I count it as a win.

Chiffon pink…. cotton candy and fluff. And perfect for moi 😀

I’m a Jewelry Jinx

I’m one of the most minimal people y’all will ever know. About the only constant piece of jewelry I wear is my wedding band. But like a magpie, I do love, and I mean love to own bling. And mostly the fashion stuff. Who doesn’t love a huge neon pink rock on their finger, right?

That’s why the Ring Pop lollipop is so popular, my friends.

Anyway, like all women I have my favorite jewelry lines. Depending on the occasion my taste in bling changes. If I have a formal to attend (and those may be in my near future again, much to my feet’s chagrin), I tend to pick very bold pieces. If I’m going to a tea, I favor more whimsical items like flowers. If I’m going to lunch with Hubby, then I opt for just earrings. Even if the occasion is cleaning the bathroom, I do wear something blingy, like a tiara. Don’t judge me.

A few weeks ago, I was shopping for upcoming birthdays and decided to get my nieces some pretty fantasy jewelry. They loved my dragonfly necklace and I thought it would be nice to get them similar necklaces. Kirks Folly™ is my favorite jewelry for whimsy. So I go to their website…. and there is a “Thank You” posted to all their customers for a great 35 years. Undeterred, I go to QVC, and find it GONE!! As if this wasn’t bad enough, my favorite jewelry company, Lia Sophia™, declared bankruptcy a few months back! I’m in a total panic now. I do a search for Nolan Miller’s line, and….. gone. Kenneth Jay Lane? Discontinued. And with the passing of Joan Rivers, I worry that her line will also go the way of the dodo. I love her bee pins, and I am angling for her grape cluster pin before they discontinue it.

Now I have to go shop around for whimsy. Again. Which is fine since shopping is one of my gifts.

I just hope that Lolita™ never, ever retires.

Acting My Age

I was watching TV yesterday and there was some commercial about something to which I wasn’t going to pay any attention until I heard a certain phrase: Act your age. It took me a few seconds (I don’t multitask very well when I am eating ice cream) for the phrase to fully sink in.

What exactly does that mean, really?

Who gets to determine what each age should act like? Is there a book somewhere, or a rule? My husband is still fond of playing videogames, and I have been known to wear a tiara while cleaning the bathrooms. I still chase down the ice cream truck (I know the guy and he is no longer afraid of me). We watch old cartoons and rated G movies. I own action figures and still have a Joe Cool Snoopy. And a Hedwig. And some of the stuffed animals I had when I was a toddler. I still color with crayons and use finger paints. Let’s face it: I am far from “acting my age”.

And so are many other people, I’m sure. My personal experience tells me that it is one thing to act like a kid and quite another to act immature. Acting one’s age can lead to boredom, which leads to dissatisfaction, which leads to crankiness, which leads to immaturity. Ergo: you need to play like a kid in order to be a happy mature adult. SCIENCE!!! You’re welcome, world!!

Anyway, time for me to get going. I have my Legos out and need to finish building my castle, complete with moat and archers 😀

Aggie’s Unconventional Guide to Valentine’s Day

Let me be clear: I can’t stand Valentine’s Day.

I love the romance and the idea and history behind the holiday, don’t get me wrong. But the commercialism makes me all stabby while pukey. I have written posts in the past to help y’all with gift ideas for your beloved. Some have been obvious (my go-to Lolita glass of the week) and some have been a bit….. odd (Zen perfume made from roses grown outside our atmosphere). So here is my list for no-fail gifts this Valentine’s Day.

#5– Electric drill

Honestly, most women would like to own one just so they could put up their own wall decor and also have a handy tool for those times when you need to be….persuasive.

#4– Santoku knife

Who doesn’t want a knife??

#3– Ear plugs

For those times when you finally run out of patience with questions, be it from kids, or coworkers.

#2– Car wash pass

Show her you love her enough to worry about her manicure, or at least worry what the neighbor’s think of her vehicular trash can.

#1– Personal vacation

Sending your beloved somewhere on his or her own is a great way to show them that you love them. Why? Because your beloved needs time away from you before that electric drill becomes necessary. News at 11.

So there you go. A list of awesome gifts for your sweetheart. I have three santoku knives, several pairs of ear plugs, and I am angling for the drill next. Also, I am not responsible for any reaction you may get from your beloved if you choose to heed my advice. As usual, my advice is unsolicited and should always fall on deaf ears, especially those ears with ear plugs. But should you feel the need to give a safer, more conventional gift, roses are always a wonderful idea.

So the florist tells me 😉

The Perfect House

Everyone dreams of their perfect house. Some people want the picket fences and others want 12 foot high concrete walls. Some want the wood shingles while others want copper roofing. It’s fun to watch home renovation shows to see what finishes people pick for their ultimate dream home. Sometimes people are predictable and pick the same stuff as other families, like glass tiles, brushed nickel faucets, hardwood floors, etc. All of that sounds nice, but after a while it’s stuff you don’t notice much. Personally, I’m ok with just pretty tile. It doesn’t matter to me if it’s porcelain or stone or glass or mirror (mind out of the gutter) or steel. Flooring is there to be abused, so I would prefer something less flamboyant than flooring made from tips of koa trees harvested by monkeys fed exclusively on organic bananas. No, there’s no such thing. Well, koa wood is a real thing, but waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too expensive. But for me, a dream home has to be good for the long run, and there are far more important things to get than the “oooooh…SHINY!!” things.

Yeah, not everyone can live in a Biltmore.

My perfect house would have flooring that never scratches, breaks, chips, or stains. I’m talking titanium tiles. The windows need to be made from borosilicate and made with the same stuff in Transition™ lenses. In the living area, the fireplace will be gas, and the gas will be pumped from the local fracking area. The TV will be inset into the wall so that I never have to dust it again. The sound system will be optional so that if he wishes to hear it, I can turn my side off and save my hearing. I will not have a conventional HVAC system. I want a geothermal system, and along with that, every bathroom will have its own tankless heater. And heated floors. And towel racks. The master bath will also have a big, BIG tub. Not just a soaker, but one you have to wait two hours to fill. In the kitchen I want an Aga™ with three ovens, and seven burners and two griddles. Why? Because. Moving on, the sink will have a disposer with a two quart capacity and a Saab Turbo™ motor. The counters will be made from cement and zinc. If I have to slam a cast iron pot on the counter I want any damage to look like it was done on purpose. And finally, the very last thing I need I need in my dream home is a dryer that folds clothes.

They had one on Lost in Space and I need the technology to catch up, pronto.

I’m sure that my vision clashes a bit with Hubby’s, but I think he will be on board with most of these. Especially the sound system and TV part. I don’t think he knows what an Aga™ is anyway, nor does he care as long as I use it to make him dinner. Priorities 😀

Slackeritis

Sorry for the lack of content the past few…. I don’t know, days? Weeks? Not sure. I have been fighting a losing battle with mountain cedar (which is not a cedar, but a juniper), among other congestive crap. Also, it is January, which means winter, which also means I am huddled around a heat pad like a hedgehog and just as prickly. I’m just not happy unless my skin is roasting, while being protected with SPF 5000, of course.

Anyway, once again my crafting is out of control. I can’t seem to stop making flowers, just as Little One can’t seem to stop taking them. So I make more, and now have a big batch of velvet, felt, and ribbon to put away. It’s colorful, but I can’t seem to convince Hubby that’s it’s also decor.

I have put a moratorium on shopping at thrift stores and craft stores until such time as I know where in the world this Carmen San Diego wannabe will end up this summer. That also means I have to organize my stuff, and begin to store my Lolita glasses. And above all, it means I have to finish every single project I have started.

Every single one!!!!

Mirrors, vases, bottles, wreaths, tables…. the list goes on.

And on.

At least it will keep me busy and keep my mind off everything I will be giving up during Lent 😀

Obligatory Best and Worst Presents of Christmas 2014

Hubby kept asking me what I wanted for Christmas. I’m at the age where I don’t need anything, but he is at the age where skipping on giving me a gift is downright dangerous. It never fails. I write a Santa’s List™ and you would think it’s written in Sanskrit from the way my family reacts. Again, what is so difficult about giving me PJs or knives or wineglasses?? In his defense he wanted to give me something I could use, and also something that I didn’t already own.

Behold the Precious!!!!

He gave me the Hoodie Footie, not the gal. I have to say, I love that piece of cotton candy wannabe fluff. I had one a few years back but gave it to my German friend, who needed it waaaaay more than I did because, GERMANY. I admit there have been days when I wore it all day during the holidays. I am not ashamed. I love it with the burning of a thousand suns, though I am glad it’s not hot like a thousand suns because I want to keep snuggling in it and even call it Georgette.

That was the Best of this year. Normally I stop there, because I firmly believe there’s no such thing as a bad present. But this year tested the limit.

That’s a mini masher. Not exactly a Worst gift. But it’s hard to appreciate it when it bent on first use, while using it to mash avocados. I wish I could say it was my indomitable strength, but I am trying to save y’all from spewing all over your keyboards. Still, better to be thought of than be passed over, right?

And what were your best and worst gifts this Christmas? 😀

And So It Begins at the Post Office

Today I decided it was cold enough to go to the post office to get holiday stamps (Mother and Child, if you are curious), packing tape (because I can never find the spool that will invariably turn up after the holidays), and mail out a package to Eldest. I was excited to send off the package because I can finally send her something, you know? Ironically, I sent her Navy stuff she owned. I still have to wait to find out what she is allowed to have in her quarters. The last thing she needs is to be articled over a bag of Twizzlers™ and a hair straightening iron.

As an aside, forgive my absence from the blogs. My Linux laptop is having connectivity issues, and after crying and sobbing attempting to connect for a week, I figure it’s time to take it in to be checked. I am now using my mini, which is IE, and which is a PITA. So, because it is difficult to use, I will be blogging and commenting a bit less than usual.

Ok, back to the topic. Anyway, I was at the post office, and as I stood in the rather short line, I noticed the patrons all had packages, and all were going overseas. The lady in front of me asked if I was sending to an MPO, because she wasn’t sure she had written the address correctly and was worried the package wouldn’t get there on time. Oddly, the gentleman behind me had the same question. So, I helped them with the addresses, making sure to repeat the addresses on the side of the boxes just in case. After my business is finished, I am walking out of the office and witness a young woman dropping her packages all over the parking lot, so I go help her out, and after setting the packages on the table, I notice another lady with a box wrapped in masking tape, which is not code. So, I give her the spool I had just bought and told her to seal the box as well as she could. And wouldn’t you know it, an older lady pipes up and says, “Looks like we have one of Santa’s elves helping out.” And I replied, “I’m just doing the jobs trolls won’t do.”

Yes, they all laughed. Thank goodness they all had a sense of humor 😉

Random Gratefulness

It’s November and that means Thanksgiving and that leads to recognizing the things for which we are grateful. I understand that there are many, so very many things and I see in social media a daily account of friends listing their blessings. It’s very touching to see and it also helps to put things in perspective. I don’t participate because I prefer to keep that private. But there are some random things, basic, mundane, everyday things to which I would like to express appreciation.

For example, I am grateful for locks. They have some rather unique uses. I am grateful for the ability to prevent my kids from using my fabric scissors on their cardboard projects.

I am also grateful for that awesome 80’s hair fashion holdover, the scrunchie. Without it, all the power cords behind the entertainment center would resemble Medusa on a bad day.

Lastly, I am very grateful for the ever-present margarine containers. They are so handy. Not just for storing the coming Thanksgiving leftovers for friends to take home so that it doesn’t overcrowd my refrigerator, but also for the sundry crafting stuff that apparently seems to disappear the minute I need it, and re-appear once I am done with whatever project I had. And because I don’t microwave in them, I don’t release poly-something.

So there you have it. Random things I am thankful to have around. I would have listed Duct Tape™ and WD-40™, but they go without saying, as does the rope and shovel. Hope y’all have a great Thursday 😉

 

Back to Blerghing

Sorry for my absence this past week. It was Little One’s birthday yesterday and I spent most of the week running errands in preparation for the Apocalypse the day. My Little One is no longer little, I’m afraid. She has outgrown me by a couple of inches, and I am mourning still. It’s not easy to realize your baby is 15 years old and interested in dating boys.

I may just cut myself.

Anyway it is officially Fall now, or as we in Texas like to call it, Summer v. 2.0. That means it is time to start getting the yard and the shrubbery ready for Winter, or as we call it, Fall-lite. Usually it isn’t a problem, but this past few weeks we have enjoyed copious amounts of the wet stuff that falls from the clouds. As a result, everything is flowering later than usual.

The gardenias, the crepe myrtle, the cassia…. my yard looks lovely and I don’t want to destroy it just yet. But with all the commitments and out-of-town visits planned, this weekend is my only chance at doing it. I am seriously thinking of letting it go and dealing with it in the Spring, or as we call it, Summer-lite. Time will tell. And by “time” I mean my mom, who will probably tell me to take Joaquina to it now. Of course, my mom sees a leaf fall and she is out there with a rake and a blower. Me? I’m all like, “Oh, look….a branch fell. Circle of Life, baby.” I’m not the most meticulous yard person, especially since my dog is intent on destroying it most of the time. For now, I guess I will trim a bit this weekend. Pretending to be productive is the next best thing 🙂