Five Colored Rings

Yes, it’s almost time for the SUMMER OLYMPICS!!!!

I love the opening and closing of the Games, but not for the reasons you may think. For me, the opening ceremony is not about the pageantry of the athletes. It’s about who can make the tackiest show!! I can honestly say the Barcelona Games were the least tacky in my opinion. The most? Los Angeles, 1984. BAR NONE!! C’mon…. 84 Baby Grand pianos coming out of the walls of the stadium while playing George Gershwin’s Rhapsody in Blue will never be beat.

I do wonder what London has up its sleeve, though. Their choice of mascots, no matter the story that inspired them, gives me great pause. Perhaps it will surpass the ’84 ceremony. I know people aren’t too happy about what our athletes will be wearing,  the design of which will only add to the tackiness of the show, in my opinion.

In any case, I shall be glued to the TV watching and laughing at the spectacle. I’ll probably need a bathroom break when Wenlock and Mandeville make their appearance:

Seriously, London?? I mean, I understand the lion has been a mascot, but y’all still had the bulldog!!

The anticipation is killing me. I hope it’ll last 😉

Math in Public

This past weekend, we travelled to the Houston bay area to visit with relatives. Yes, I delivered Christmas gifts, and before y’all decide to judge me, we ended up picking up a bunch of Christmas gifts, too.

I’m not the only one who procrastinated in the family.

A house full of kids will drive anyone insane, so the adults, consisting of Twin BIL and his wife Red, Nomstress and her hubby Nightflyer, and Mr. Aggie and myself, went out for sushi and adult conversation Saturday evening. We needed it. I had been exposed to so much Winx and Spongebob, and Call of Duty While Killing Nazi Zombies in a Cow Field (or some such game), that I was starting to ask my 6 year old niece why the Winx fairies didn’t have armor. I was a mess.

Anyway, we met the Nommie and Nightflyer at the sushi place, which was nice, except the ambiance was all hipster and the music was all contemporary American pop. Seriously, no Kitaro?? Silk Road I and II?? Sheesh… We get the menus and decide what sushi to ingest, and the talk turned to our perspective families, and the ties between then, since Nommie and Hubby and Twin BIL grew up together. The talk turned to the graduation timeline, and Nommie was trying to determine if she was “legal” the time they went to Spec’s™ to buy beer.

Nommie: Well, keep in mind I graduated with you (Hubby and Twin BIL) in 1984, but I was sixteen.

Twin BIL: And the accident happened after I moved in with [Hubby] in 1991.

Nommie: So I was still underage, right?

Nightflyer: Honey, it was 1991. You were 16 in 1984.

Nommie: So….??

Me: Uh, 16+6= 22!!

Nightflyer: You should never do math in public, honey.

Nommie: Lesson learned!

In their defense, the sake was flowing pretty smoothly by this time. A great time was had, and a repeat performance scheduled for the next trip we take down to the area.

But there will be no math 😉

Saturday Stuff

I’m at the inlaws this weekend. FINALLY delivering Christmas presents. STOP JUDGING ME!!!

And when I return, I shall be enjoying a few episodes of The Walking Dead.

I’ll have to enjoy them as I unpack Hubby’s stuff from Egypt, and doing laundry and ironing his uniform. But hey, I am great at multitasking!!

Enjoy the weekend!!! 😀

Dulcet Sounds

Ok, full disclosure here: I am the big snorer in our house. It was inherited from my father, who inherited it from his mother, who snored so loud when Hubby and I were staying at her house that we opted to close the windows and suffocate rather than hear the cacophony.

Last night, however, was different. Hubby was very tired, and had imbibed after dinner, which was fabulous, by the way!! The dinner, I mean. I’m sure the Maker’s Mark is fabulous, too. Anyway, we went to bed, and not two minutes later, he was snoring. I woke him, and he stopped, and then began again. After the third time, I had to speak up.

Me: Honey, you are snoring.

Him: No, I’m not. That’s you.

Me: I’m not snoring. I’m not even asleep! I’m still praying.

Him: Ok, I will stop.

Fine, he did stop, but something told me it was just the eye of the storm. I continued my prayers, when suddenly he snored so loud he scared the living hell out of me.

Which I guess is a good thing while one is praying.

Me: HONEY!!!

Him: Huh, what?

Me: You snored so loud you scared me!

Him: That was you. I’ve been awake.

Me: …..

Me: I have been awake. YOU were snoring, and it was very loud.

Him: No, I was awake, and about to nudge you on your side.

Me: (fuming) Fine! Go to slee—

Him: (snoring again)

But the funniest part happened this morning. He came into the kitchen, telling me he fell asleep before I came to bed, and slept so well he didn’t wake up but a couple of times. I was speechless, but made up for it quickly. I told him what happened, and at first he was rather surprised, but then told me that I shouldn’t worry, since he and his twin could have conversations while they were asleep.

I can’t wait to hear what he says in his sleep around my birthday 😉

Saturday Sithy

My friend The Queen is on vacation touring our wonderful country, but she found the time to send me one of the funniest Sithies evah in the history of this here blog:

When she posted this on my social-site-that-has-faces, I spewed soda all over me, making a mental note to wrap the keyboard in Saran Wrap™ for future spewage.

Have a great Saturday!! 😀

The Butter Incident

I love my dog. She is the sweetest, gentlest, neurotic ball I know. Even more neurotic than I am. But she makes every day funny somehow.

She also likes to test her boundaries.

A while back, I was in the kitchen making something that required fattiness. In this case, it was butter. I love baking with sweet cream unsalted butter. It makes me very happy. Anyway, I had set aside the last stick of butter on the kitchen island and was measuring the rest of the ingredients, when my dog, that loveable fuzzball, decided that HEY!!! THAT’S SWEET BUTTAH!!!

And she promptly leaned up, swiping the rest of it onto her tongue.

Courtesy of CakeSpy

I was not happy, and when Momma ain’t happy….

Needless to say, I did no baking that day. The dog also got no treats that day. She has since learned that the counters are off limits, as is the table. In retrospect, it’s pretty funny how she managed to sneak that, but I really wanted to bake whatever it was I felt like making.

Nowadays I make sure to have at least two packages of butter in the refrigerator at all times 😉

Random Post, Because I Really Can’t Think of Anything Coherent

For the first time in weeks, I slept through the night, and don’t remember dreaming, so I can attest that perhaps watching a mediocre movie can help your sleep patterns. Hubby and I went to see Prometheus….eh. It was ok. LOTS of illogical stuff in it, even with it being a science fiction thriller and suspending disbelief at every turn. The fact that I didn’t have a nightmare over it should tell you how “eh” it really is.

It rained yesterday, so I have hope the hay that developed while we were at the family reunion will turn semi-green. Or at least be non-combustible.

Several birds have decided that the fake plants I have outside are better suited to making a nest than the trees and shrubs. I have decided the fake plants will be watered regularly.

As I was reading the news today, I found it disheartening that the top stories are about a celebrity break-up, and how Generation Y thinks learning to drive is a hassle. On the other hand, I also learned that Alec Baldwin got married. I pity her.

Sometimes it feels good to sit down and eat whipped cream straight from the container. And it’s even better when it’s in a can, and you are watching a really bad movie. If you don’t have whipped cream, I hear peanut butter is a great substitute. I wouldn’t know, since I can’t stand the stuff, but whatever floats your goat:

Hopefully I will be more coherent tomorrow. I don’t promise anything, though. I have Valium™ and I’m not afraid to use it.

But I bet anything y’all have your own incoherence going on. It’s Monday, after all 😉

Purgatory

Oh, it is. Trust me.

Today I am going to go pick up a friend’s niece so she can come over and hang out with my girls. That sounds fine so far, since they get to play video games and gossip. But that’s not all…

I’m taking them to the mall.

 

Yes, I’m still on a financial diet, and yes, I have been very, VERY good. But that’s not the worst part. No….taking three very excited girls in a vehicle and shepherding them is the worst part. I might as well fix myself a drink and have it waiting for my return. Maybe two drinks.

I’ll make a pitcher.

Pray for me!! 😉

What Dreams May Cone

Last night was a very nice, very quiet evening. Little One spent the night at her friend’s, and the two older ones went with their ROTC posse to Sea World. I had the remote for almost 15 minutes before I figured out I could watch something besides a kids show. Don’t get me wrong. I gave the remote to Hubby, as is custom. He is Master of the Remote, but he never forgets I’m Mistress of the Domain, so it evens out.

Anyway, we watched a couple of movies, and afterwards I was feeling a bit of my sweet tooth yelling at me kindly reminding me of my ice cream still in the freezer. So, I went to get the ½ gallon tub, only to find that there were exactly two teaspoons left of my delicious goodness.

I blame my Son.

Still, it was two teaspoons, so I quickly ate it, and then got ready for bed. My first mistake was brushing my teeth with sensitive toothpaste. It made me gag at the combination of Love Potion 31 and medicinal paste. Trust me when I say it is ghastly, and the taste does NOT go away after rinsing for five minutes.

My second mistake was eating so little.

I have been having odd dreams lately, but last night was beyond odd. I dreamt I was at Baskin-Robbins™ and was being asked how many scoops I wanted on my cone. I looked around, and found that they only had one flavor, and it was plain. Not vanilla, but just plain. I asked where the other flavors were, and the gal behind the counter told me the other flavors were for Bingo night. So I asked when Bingo night was, and she said “Tequila”. And I asked her if that was a flavor, and she said no, it was the time. And I said that wasn’t a time, but she insisted, and then told me to pick a flavor from plain, and how many scoops. I told her, “Five, please,” and she said I would need a permit to eat it. So I asked where I could get a permit, and she said “Banana!”

And the alarm went off, saving me from killing someone in my dream.

So, the lesson here is, eat your fill of ice cream before going to bed, and you won’t have to go to banana for a permit to eat ice cream while waiting for tequila to start Bingo night. Something like that. I’m still not sure.

I do know that I shall be going out for ice cream later 🙂

The Things I Learn

You know those commercials of idyllic life? Where the mom has an impeccably clean home, and beautifully furnished, and her son brings home his friends, and she has a beautiful platter of food for the strapping youngsters rabidly starving after being outside?

That’s not me, ever.

The ROTC kids like to come over after practice twice a week, and they like to take over the kitchen. Drinks, food, snacks, pretty much everything is open season. And the conversations are hilarious. I had no idea a burger could become petrified in the floorboard of a Toyota. I also didn’t know that you can slide into said Toyota like you are a Hazzard Duke with the General Lee. Not because it’s cool, but because the locks are broken.

Like this, but with only two legs.

And right now, they are playing Rockband™ while my ceiling shakes and my eardrums wince.

It’s kinda cool being the hip mom, though. Even if I do wear glasses and yell at them to get off my lawn 😉