Thursday Never List

Baby, it’s cold outside.

We were blessed with winter again. Hail last night, sleet this morning, and ice on the roads. And do you see me complaining?? Nope. Not one bit. Why? Because I could be in Pennsylvania or Michigan. By the same logic, I could be in Australia and enjoying summer. Glass half empty or half full? It doesn’t matter as long as there’s more wine to fill it.

Anyway, the weather got me to thinking. Yes, sometimes the synapses fire off. Living in Texas, we tend to enjoy mild winters for the most part. But we do get our share of ice and sn*w. And that’s when we step into the Outer Limits™ because apparently three sn*wflakes can shut down the area. However, there are some steps we in the South can take to be ready for the unforeseen.

Winter Gear to Never Do Without

#5– Head covering

A hat, a scarf, anything that would keep your body heat from dissipating out through your head is necessary. Unless you like tears freezing on your cheeks. Then that’s ok.

#4– Ice scraper

Nothing worse than cracking your windshield while pouring hot water over the ice. Not good at all.

#3– Sand

In case of ice or slush, or kitty litter is good too. Also good for your enemies gas tanks. So I hear.

#2– Extra socks

Because you never know if that icy patch is solid.

#1– Blanket or throw

If ever you are stuck and need warmth, or for visiting your inlaws who think 45* F is breezy and healthy for you. You can never have too many throws. Ever.

Just a disclaimer: I am from Puerto Rico, and reside in Texas. I am more than sure EVERYONE north of the Mason-Dixon line has better advice, so please do chime in 🙂

Is This *Really* What You’re Looking For??

I was over at The Bloggess the other day, and as usual I ended up snorting coffee out through my nose while reading her blog. I must say some of the search terms people use to arrive at her site are…. intriguing. Out of curiosity, I looked up the search terms at Sithy, and I must say, there are some odd people out there.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that. At all.

Besides, there is coffee for that, right?

So here are some of the search terms for this past week:

I got my voodoo doll out — Look, I get it, but you really should keep that to yourself. I certainly don’t need the NSA knocking on my door for someone else’s voodoo. I got special brand of crazy without adding to it.

Nobody move I just cleaned the house — Why in the heck would you come to THIS blog for THAT?? As if!!

козы плавают в море — I’m at a loss here.

Squirrels with lightsabers — Never gets old.

Mmmm — Candy, food, drink…what??

Kilt exposed — If only!!

Hope y’all have a great Tuesday, and feel free to translate. But only is it’s family friendly 😉

Thursday Never List

ZOMG!!! My 20th TNL!!!

Not counting the ones bumped to Fridays due to laziness.

It’s hard coming up with Never Lists. Pretty soon I’ll run out of Nevers and sound like a Puritan. But on the plus side, there is a lot of stupid out there from which to choose, so I have that going for me.

(So, Hubby came home early and we decided to watch A Good day to Die Hard, and then my mom needed some stuff, and then dinnertime came, and went, and so I am just now getting back to this post. I suck at blogging, I know.)

Advice One Should Never Ignore

#5– Always have an umbrella

Yes, even in South Texas. Because the day you don’t have one is the day you are all dressed up for that date you have been planning for months, wearing your new silk dress, and that just-out-of-the-salon hair style. So I hear.

#4– Keep spare glasses in your nightstand

Last thing you need is to look for things you can’t see.

#3– Play more

Be active and enjoy life. There is nothing worse than being dead inside. Unless you’re a zombie, I guess.

#2– Find a happy place

You don’t have to be happy all day, but you should find something to be happy about every day.

#1– Never get involved in a land war in Asia

Seriously, remember Qin??

Anyway, I do hope y’all had a wonderful day and are relaxing now. If not, then I hope the non-relaxation is worth it 😀

What a Crock

This is just not happening. NOT. HAPPENING!!

It is freezing today by Texas standards, which means hot comfort food is a must. I don’t get the chance to make beef stew often, but today was the perfect day for it. Sleety, windy, gray, cold: just like winter should be. Not what I want in a winter, but nothing I can do about that except maybe place The Goron on my Voodoo List™.

Not saying I did, mind you.

Anyway, I go to do my kitchen prep: peel and dice potatoes, carrots, onions, brown stew beef cuts, and open the red wine. Yes, I cook with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food. I place all that heavenly goodness into the crock pot, plug it in and….. nothing.

NOTHING!!!

I am aghast. My crock pot is dead, y’all!!

I am at a loss. I love my crock pot. I use it at least once a week. After hyperventilating and walking around the kitchen island sobbing, I calmed down and decided to put it in the oven to cook, like a boss. Actually, like a boss that has a ton of cast iron dutch ovens. I’ll be danged if I let this setback ruin dinner. I mean, there is no way I am going out in this weather. Not even for a dinner out.

On the upside, Hubby has an idea of what to get me for Valentine’s Day 😉

Snowday, Texas Style

Today we are enjoying a snowday, that rarest of holidays here in South Texas.

By “snowday”, I mean there is ice on the ground and the vehicles are iced shut. And by “enjoying”, I mean the kids are testing my patience.

Snowdays down here are nothing compared to what Michiganders endure. I am sure they are laughing at us down here for shutting down schools and businesses, but the reality is we are not savvy drivers on icy roads. Heck, rain freaks us out. So better safe at home than sorry wrapped around a light pole.

Of course, Michiganders would probably melt down here in the spring, so we have that going for us.

But I am ready for Winter to go away.

Soooooooo done with winter. I want to feel the sun as it turns the asphalt into a mushy mess. I want to see flowers bloom in the adversity that is a Texas summer. I want to see water boil off the sidewalk. I’m getting nostalgic just thinking about it. If we humans could hibernate, I wouldn’t have such an issue with the cold. Or with shaving my legs.

Anyway, I hope that wherever you are, you are keeping warm and safe, and stabbing winter in the head 😉

Thursday Never List

I still remember the excitement of going to visit my cousins when I was younger. Usually going to San Juan meant an overnight trip, so my mom got to pack the bags and make sure we had everything we could possibly need without taking the kitchen sink.

Although there was this one time we did have to take the kitchen sink, because my uncle was going to use it in his work shed. But that’s another story.

You may think that packing a bag or a suitcase requires no skill, but you would be wrong. You aren’t using Mary Poppins’ carpetbag, which means you have a finite amount of space to use so you have to pack accordingly. However, there are some things one should never do without when doing an overnighter.

Never Leave Home Without It

#5– Toiletries

Specifically, toothpaste, shampoo, and deodorant. You can do without everything else, but these are non-negotiable.

#4– Extra socks

No one likes sweaty feet.

#3– Pain medication

Better safe than tripping on someone else’s meds.

#2– Sweater or light jacket

I don’t know of anyone that has been able to predict the weather correctly. Ever.

#1– Reading material

Just because you are visiting someone, doesn’t mean you have to be a Chatty Cathy. And nothing works as a shield better than reading some deep literature, like Zen, and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. Tried and true.

And with that, I’m off to get medicated against the pollen count, put on an extra pair of socks so my toes don’t break off from frostbite, and hope to Hades I don’t need to clean the mouse cage. Have a good one! 🙂

Shredded

That’s how I feel.

Apparently we are in a record-breaking season for pollen. And this year is when my body decided I have allergies to pollen.

Yay….me….

This wouldn’t be so bad if they were Midichlorians.

Anyway, I figured y’all could enjoy an obscure Sithy.

That is so full of win, I can’t contain myself.

Ok, time for more medication. And by “medication”, I mean coffee. Hope y’all enjoy your day 🙂

Thursday Never List

As y’all know from yesterday, my mom is coming for a visit and I am in full panic mode. And by that I mean I am obviously sitting at my laptop wasting precious time.

If you wait until the last minute, it only takes a minute, right? RIGHT??

It doesn’t matter how often I tell myself, “Aggie, why not do this, or that, and get it out of the way before X comes over?” Usually when I do ask myself that, my other self retorts with, “HELLO?? Drama isn’t going to read itself, you know!” It’s a vicious cycle. At least it’s not viscous. That’s a whole other level my other other self would love to dissect.

I love my selfs. Heh!

Anyway, when it comes to cleaning, there are some things one should never skip. I mean it. Some things you can’t just ignore. It’s like giving Godzilla a key to Tokyo and a coupon for all-you-can-eat. Maybe that doesn’t make sense to y’all, but it sounded pretty awesome in my head.

Cleaning Jobs One Should Never Skip

#5– Refrigerator bins

Ignore it, and next thing you know the tomatoes are conspiring with the lemons to kill the lettuce and take over the fridge.

#4– Garbage disposer

Disposal… disposer… poh-tay-toh… poh-tah-toh. No matter what you call it, that little contraption hides all sorts of gunk and can really stink up the house.

#3– Towels

Any towel used for the express purpose of drying, be it a body or a dish, will start to smell of stagnant pond water.

#2– Stove pans

You know how you start cooking and suddenly the delish dish smells of dead rodent? Yeah, that’s why.

#1- Commode

Y’all should know this would be #1. If you didn’t then you have issues, and should call Molly Maid™ ASAP.

And those are my tips for today. Remember, the floor can be crunchy or sticky, as long as A) it’s not from bones or blood, 2) people wear shoes, and iii) Legos are safely stored away.

Those suckers can pierce leather 😉

Thursday Never List

Some days ago, I was cooking dinner and manage to catch Little One in a mood to help. It doesn’t happen often, so when it does I take full advantage of it and basically turn her in the Sous Chef. The irony here is that she is my picky eater, and wasn’t going to eat dinner that night. Of course, that didn’t stop me from putting her to work. Anyway, I asked her to get the dill, and she brought me two jars.

LO: Here you go, Mom.

Me: We have two jars of dill? Both open??

LO: No, we have four.

Me: So why bring out two?

LO: One for each hand?

Me: *rolls eyes*

Apparently, we are fans of dill around here. And it got me to thinking about what else I have in my spice hoard. And what spices I just can’t do without.

#5– Pepper

All kinds. Except Jolokia. No joke.

#4– Oregano

I love it for most ethnic dishes, especially Puerto Rican ones.

#3– Thyme

The best part, aside the flavor, is hearing the mispronunciation.

#2– Paprika

Sweet or sharp, but especially sweet.

#1– Rosemary

Alone or in Herbs de Provence, the fragrance and flavor are sublime.

So there you have it: spices I can NOT do without. You may wonder why dill isn’t listed. Well, that’s because Eldest is responsible for that particular hoard. I’m only responsible for the jars, packets, and tins of Herbs de Provence and paprika.

All ten of them 😀

I Need a Tauntaun

Wholly carp is it cold out.

I wasn’t going to write about the weather, because everyone is writing or talking about it. I mean, it’s obviously THERE to discuss, right? Still, it sure put a crimp on the week. I’m just glad it wasn’t bad enough to close the schools. I don’t think we could have handled that very well. Scratch that. I know we wouldn’t have.

I would settle for lukewarm right now. I would also settle for Mark Hamill, but that’s not for a family-friendly blog. Anyway, this cold weather means I get to bake a lot, because using the oven is a great way to suffuse the living area with heat. Also, cookies and cake FTW!! (I would make a pie, but the apples all got eaten). So think of tropical islands and jalapeños to keep warm.

It could be worse. You could be in Canada 😉