Tag Archives: ickiness

Possible Death of a Salesman

I am NOT a happy camper right now.

About a year ago, one of those college/ vocational/ tech institute students came by selling magazines. My heartstrings are always plucked like chicken feathers. Anyway, he was just a few “points” from getting the level and so I decided to choose a couple of harmless magazines. That usually means family or cooking oriented. Well, they had Family Fun, which I like because it has a lot of ideas for young kids, which can also be adapted for older ones. And since he begged so nicely, I decided to order Rachael Ray’s magazine.

No, I don’t like Rachael Ray. Her perkiness drives me nuts, and feels like a cheese grater on my nerves. But it was the only cooking magazine that wasn’t labelled as “light” or “healthy”. And no, before you freak out I am NOT against eating light or healthy. I just like to do the healthy substitutions or tweaking on a regular recipe if I wish to do so. It’s easier to trim down a regular fat recipe than fatten up a thinned out one. I think I’m rambling and y’all don’t understand, but it doesn’t matter. What matters is that I ordered her magazine with the full intent to be more creative in my cooking, and instead, I got Newsweek.

I have nothing against Newsweek. Obviously, I don’t care for its political slant, but they have the freedom to do that. No, what bothers me is that I ordered a cooking magazine, and GOT A NEWS MAGAZINE INSTEAD!!!

And on what world does the spelling of Every Day with Rachael Ray look like Newsweek?? He wrote the title, and the numbers that corresponded were not even close to each other. I swear I’m being tested.

And if another salesdude or chick comes by selling magazines, I will greet them with machete in hand. 😉


Snot the End of the World

But it sure feels like it.

I have been fighting a cold since the family reunion, but it seems the virus has decided to teach me a lesson in humility by reminding me that it has been around longer than Homo sapiens sapiens has.

Fine….FINE!!!

YOU WIN, RHINOVIRUS!!!

But ArmedGeek was kind enough to send me this this morning, so enjoy:

STEAMPUNK STORMTROOPER!!!

I’m going back to bed, after I finish the laundry and clean upstairs. Also, I sprayed the blog with Lysolâ„¢, so y’all should be fine. Just remember to wash your eyeballs after reading.

Hope y’all stay healthy 😉


Twenty Lipsticks Does Not an Addiction Make

At least, that’s what I’m telling myself.

I was scrolling the blogs this morning, and noticed an interesting ad on someone’s sidebar. Cover Girlâ„¢– or maybe it was Maybellineâ„¢, some make-up company– was touting sixteen new shades for the summer season. SIXTEEN!!! I sat there and seriously wondered who would own sixteen different lipsticks, though to be fair not all women (or men) could wear the same shades. And for only ONE season. I mean, if I find a shade I like, I don’t retire it because Emily Post said so, you know what I mean? Anyway, I was still muttering about how silly some women are for having so many lipsticks, and went to my make-up basket, and counted….

Not only did I have over 20 lipsticks, I had duplicates of the same shade! Some from Bare Escentualsâ„¢, some from Estee Lauderâ„¢, one from Guerlainâ„¢, and even Chanelâ„¢. Oh, and then I found even more hiding in a Tupperwareâ„¢ container, and shamefully, those I have owned since I used to sell Mary Kayâ„¢.

Back in 1997.

But the worst part about this whole thing? I seldom wear lipstick.

So today I shall be deleting old make-up from my stash. And before you ask, no, you may NOT have the Chanel™ lipstick. I do like that one 😉


Common Scents

I love candles. They are romantic, and give a very flattering light, and in the winter they help to warm up the home. I have them everywhere, on the kitchen table, the bar, around my bathtub, even in the fireplace. Love, love, LOVE them.

But I also have kids. And I have excitable dogs. And that means that sometimes candles are a hazard to my mental health. Nothing like having a son asking if he can burn his graded schoolwork in his room to make one think twice about lighting candles. I’m pretty sure he was joking, but knowing that he mastered the campfire merit badge before anyone else makes me a bit….cautious.

Anyway, as all parents know, kids are some of the most aromatic creatures on the planet, and that’s not a compliment. I keep their doors closed for two reasons: 1) the sight of their wreckage, and 2) the smell of their laundry. And if you own snakes, then it’s double as bad. At first I utilized candles, but then I was afraid of the hazard that comes with them being unattended. Then I got wax warmers, but they also required the use of tealights. And finding a pile of ash by one in Son’s room one day was enough to get me to look for an alternative.

Now, that’s smart! A warmer you plug in!! No flames, no fear!! And I love that you can change the scent from one day to the next without having to store a big candle somewhere. And on the plus side, it gives off a soft light, as well. I have already spilled the wax while moving furniture, and found that it is easier to wipe off than that of conventional candles. I do still keep candles around, but for high traffic areas, these warmers are safer and make better sense.

I just wish I had thought of them years ago 😉


Sooner or Later…

I knew it. I just KNEW I was going to get sick. I avoided a full blown cold during the holidays, but eventually it will out.

Crap. Crap. Crap.

I don’t mind being sick. I mind having to slug through the ordinary chores like playing taxi and grocery shopping and running to the post office and laundry and cooking. Just once I would love to lay in bed while the kids catered to me. That would be awesome! Not going to happen until the weekend, though, and hopefully by then I’ll be fine.

I’m l’exhausted, and thinking that passing out on the couch is a wonderful idea.

Ok, it’s always a wonderful idea, but this time I have a great excuse 😀


When Songs Fail

I will confess: I am trapped in a timewarp when it comes to music. I grew up in the 80’s, so that should tell you some, and also in Puerto Rico, which should tell you more, and finally, my dad is really into Classical and Big Band, which completes the picture. But songs nowadays leave me puzzled, to say the least.

Yesterday I was picking up the kids from school when Maroon 5’s Moves Like Jagger came on. Usually, I tend to tune out wailing on the radio, but the kids seem to like it. Anyway, something told me to pay attention, that something being the name Jagger.

The only Jaggers I know are Mick, and his ex-wife, Bianca. And I only know of her because she designs lingerie.

The part that obviously caught my attention after that, was the chorus:

Take me by the tongue
And I’ll know you
Kiss me ’til you’re drunk
And I’ll show you

All the moves like Jagger
I’ve got the moves like Jagger
I’ve got the moves like Jagger

Really? REALLY??? Bad enough you want to take someone by the tongue, which can be painful if done literally, but to move like this??

THAT is what you wish to emulate when trying to woo a girl? Not Barishnikov? Not Astaire? Seriously, Mick Jagger?? Who writes this crap?

Now excuse me, but I suddenly feel the need to listen to Frank Sinatra.


‘Tis the Season

It’s that time of year again. The time when someone in your home will get sick, be it a cold or the flu. In this case, the someone is me. I have been fighting a cold for a while now, and in retrospect, I should have let it take its course so I wouldn’t be sick on Christmas Day. But I never claimed my hindsight was 20/20, so I have that going for me.

Today I have last minute shopping to do. That should tell you just how sick I am, because normally nothing would make me go to the mall this week. The way I see it, I got sick from someone while shopping, so I’m just paying it forward. I can be very charitable that way. All kidding aside (or mostly kidding), after shopping I shall be enjoying a hot toddy, featured today at H&B.

Then after that, I shall be imbibing (there really is no other word for it) Nyquilâ„¢. There is nothing quite like the nighttime sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, stuffy head, fever, so you can rest medicine. Hopefully that will help me have a nice Christmas.

My future posts may be quite garbled, but that’s a small price to pay for comfort 😉


Superstition Silliness

Here in Texas we love rain. It’s like a long-lost friend: you remember it fondly, and rejoice when you see it. This past weekend we got a healthy visit from our long-lost friend. Let’s just say, my front lawn no longer looks like a fire hazard.

Anyway, a few days before that, we had a freak storm come through. I went to pick up the kids at the high school, when the skies opened, the wind whipping the rain sideways. It was glorious!!!! Unfortunately, not for the kids. Eldest was in ROTC uniform, and son had his instrument and couldn’t shield his face from the onslaught. But they make it to the car, and off we go slowly, not just because of the school zone, but because some people around here freak out when there is water falling from the sky.

We get home, and I instruct the kids to take hot showers ASAP. Son goes off with no complaint, but Eldest decides to just change into her PJs and a robe. Whereupon Momma freaks out:

Me: Eldest, you need to take a shower, now!

Eldest: But Mom, I’m already dry.

Me: Doesn’t matter. Go get in a hot shower.

Eldest: But why??

Me: I don’t want you catching a cold.

Eldest: …….

Me: It’s an old wives’ tale. Just do it!!

Eldest: Mom, you know I’ll be fine.

Me: Go take your shower before you catch your death of cold!!!

Eldest: (sigh)

Yes, I well know that you get a common cold from a virus. I also know the reason we associate catching a cold to being wet is due to winter, and dry air lowering the body’s resistance to the virus. I KNOW THIS, PEOPLE!!!!

But it doesn’t matter. It’s ingrained, and I will enforce it until the day I die. Or until the kids move out.

Whichever comes first 😉


Spoonful of Sugar

I hate days like these.

It’s a beautiful morning, nice and cool outside. It is begging me to go out for a walk and enjoy the musical stylings of mockingbirds and sparrows, but no….. I have to be home sick with the beginnings of a nasty cold. This one I got from Hubby as a loving departing gift, which he got from Eldest as a loving welcoming gift. Yay, me.

Courtesy of Gary Larson

I shall make a batch of The Pioneer Woman’s Chicken and Rice soup, which will make me feel tons better. I tend to not take a lot of medication, since I have an adverse reaction to most meds. Nothing major, just most tend to totally make me loopy or put me out like a light. Nyquil is NOT my best friend. I get a better result from drinking a shot of bourbon before bed, without the grogginess in the morning. At least I wasn’t sick while Hubby was on leave!

If y’all have any recommendations for a way to feel or get better, let me know. I’m on my second box of tissues!!


Forget Ruby Slippers

Stilettos are IN!!!!

Literally.

A woman allegedly beat her boyfriend to death with the spiked heel of a stiletto shoe.

Thelma Carter, 46, struck her live-in boyfriend Robert Higdon, 58, with the shoe at their trailer park home in Augusta, Georgia, police said.

Never underestimate the weaponry at our disposal, gentlemen.

Deadly in more ways than one 😉