Good Tidings!

It’s Christmas Eve Eve!! And I am excited because I just LOVE to run around like a stormtrooper at a rebel firing range.

I have ONE MORE DAY to get everything organized and wrapped and shipped out and stuff cooked and baked and call people and go around the neighborhood dropping off goodies and packing and cleaning and dusting and clearing out empty boxes and making sure that Santa can find his way from the chimney to the tree with no dog obstacles.

But I wouldn’t change it for anything.

Except maybe to have someone else do the laundry. Maybe that.

So go tackle the day and smile, because that always makes you feel better, and makes people wonder what you have up your sleeve 😉

He Sees You. Enough Said.

I am almost done with the shopping and the cleaning and the decorating and the shipping. But I am getting tired of some asking what I got for so-and-so, or is that for me?? Honestly, I thought I was done with those questions once they got older, but apparently not.

So what can one do to prevent peekers from peeking under the Christmas tree?

That’s right. You trap Cthulhu in a jar and put him to work keeping pesky kids at bay.

You may wonder how I managed such a feat. Suffice it to say, I am Sith.

I would tell you, but then I would have to Sith you 😉

It’s HOW LONG Until Christmas???

You know, I was done with shopping.

And then the kids made their lists.

And now I am at a loss.

GAH!!!!!!!

I am lucky to have kids that are pretty low maintenance, though. One year, Son only wanted some tin of slime from ThinkGeek. Little One wanted a few manga books. Eldest is content with a sundial.

They may be odd, but still low maintenance.

As for me, I am happy to say I don’t need or want anything. I have enough pots, and now makeup, and Lord knows I got a ton of nail polish, so I’m pretty happy if I don’t get anything.

Not a darn thing.

Sigh….time to go look for a sextant or whatever is on the list this year.

Thursday Never List

The past few nights I have had very little rest, so if this post makes no sense, I have an excuse this time.

It’s that time of the year again, when grown men quake in fear of potential death. No, not influenza. I’m talking about shopping for a Christmas gift for their significant others. Personally, I don’t envy y’all. I have met the enemy and she is us. I know we can be difficult to shop for, but there are some guidelines that can help y’all avoid pitfalls.

With the current weather, y’all do NOT want to be in the doghouse.

Thank goodness my name isn’t Joy.

Gifts to Avoid

#5– Electric knife

Seriously, you want to give her something to make dismembering you THAT much easier??

#4– Holiday themed clothing

It’s a nice sentiment, but she unwraps it the last day she can wear it and then has to put it away for eleven months until she can wear it again? That’s just torture. As a bonus, see the potential risk displayed in the photo above.

#3– Pets

As adorable as it would be, most people wish to pick out their own, just as pets like to pick out their humans.

#2– Housekeeping appliances

It’s ok to bring home a Roomba™ any time of the year while telling her that you think she needs time for herself. It is NOT ok to have it under the tree without explanation.

#1– Gym membership

If you do get this for her, at least be considerate and get a cemetery plot for yourself as well.

Remember, these are guidelines. Your significant other’s mileage may vary.

Mine does not 😉

Tourism, Texas Style

I love my state. There is always some exotic attraction no matter where you are. And by “exotic”, I don’t mean a gentleman’s club. Though there’s a few of those too. No, I mean weird.

Today we shall be going here. That’s right, the SNAKE FARM!!!

ZOMG!!! Isn’t he adorable?? But it’s not just a reptile place. They have a petting zoo and rescue exotics from around the world. The farm was featured on an episode of Dirty Jobs, and Mike Rowe was a snake handler. He was thisclose to me and I missed out. It still pains me to this day. Anyway, we hope to catch a show or maybe feeding time. A LIVE feeding!!

And then we shall go to lunch 😀

The Ides of November

Well, due to circumstances beyond his control, my friend Tiberius will be my guest for the remainder of his stay in our fair country. And by country, I mean Texas. And good thing, too. We had a great itinerary the last time he was with us.

And we completed it ALL.

That’s right. Even #10 was completed. And the chances of THAT one were infinitesimal. And I do mean itty bitty tiny.

So now we have to find other stuff to do.

• Vineyard tour and wine tasting: Scheduled.
• Glass bottom tour: Scheduled.
• Gun range: Scheduled.
• Riverwalk: Scheduled.
• Moar gun range: Scheduled.
• Birthday shenanigans: Scheduled.
• Cavern adventure tour: Scheduled.
• Anything else that comes up: Scheduled.
• Thanksgiving feast: Scheduled X2.

That’s right: we are having not one, but TWO Thanksgiving feasts. Why? Because we are blessed with so many friends and family and there ain’t no house that can contain such bounty. Anyway, time for me to get going. The tours won’t wait, and neither will we 😀

To Those Who Served

A profound and heartfelt thanks.

For my husband, and my brothers-in-law, my neighbors, and my friends.

And for my brother Draco, who never failed to call and thank all of those he knew.

We can never repay what you have sacrificed for your country.

Hostess with the Hostess Cupcakes

Sorry for my absence around here. I have been busy hosting our internet friend Tiberius this week. It was rather unexpected but very welcomed, though cramming a bunch of stuff in six days is proving to be a challenge.

This has been the proposed itinerary:

1. Find acceptable costume with which to scare little kids: Check.
2. Stock up the bar with booze to try: Check.
3. Tour the caverns and make fun of idiots on the road: Check.
4. Try Tex-Mex food: Scheduled.
5. Stock up on chocolate candy: Check.
6. Gorge on junkfood: scheduled.
7. THE ALAMO: Damn skippy it’s scheduled.
8. Meet up with internet friends: Scheduled.
9. Gun range: Scheduled.
10. Attend autopsy*: Um, scheduled….

This is just for this week. He plans on coming back and staying for Thanksgiving. Apparently, Australians don’t have a similar celebration. Unless you count Julia Gillard’s ousting. Everyone was thankful for that.

So, things are busy and fun. And tomorrow will be popping what with last minute Halloween stuff. So if y’all will excuse me, I’m off to finish making my wand 😉

*Not mine, so there.

Get On My Lawn!!

Some of y’all may know, I love flamingos. Every trip to the zoo begins with me taking a photo by my pink feathered friends. I must have dozens of photos, and all of them show my gradual deterioration maturity. Who knew Photoshop™ was relatively new?

Sad to say, I don’t have any flamingo lawn ornaments. My HOA frowns on kitsch, even though a guy down the street has a veritable concrete menagerie in his front lawn. But I guess concrete deer are more realistic around these parts than a flock of flamingos. Anyway, while perusing the social-site-with-faces, a friend posted the most awesome thing since Big Mouth Billy Bass:

ZOMBIE FLAMINGO

Behold the epicness!!

You can not imagine the SQUEES OF GLEE that emanated from me yesterday. Actually, they sounded more like something from a horror movie, but that’s more fitting anyway. There are several different styles, including this one, but I liked the ones above found here. Why? Because they have TEETH, which makes them even more ridiculous. And we always go for the ridiculous here.

This year I am definitely decorating my yard for Halloween. But I’m thinking these babies will be year-round 😉

Small Hiatus

This week I am hosting the Glorious Lemur King and his family, so I am not blogging as usual. But some of y’all may be wondering what we have done, so….

This is where we went:

AQUARENA SPRINGS

OBVIOUS….

And today we shall be going here:

NATURAL BRIDGE CAVERNS

And after that, we shall tour the Alamo and the Riverwalk.

And after that, we shall rest. Maybe. I’m a bit fuzzy right now.

Anyway, hope to be back here soon. I’m off to go gawk at the new electric smoker the Lemurs have been kind enough to gift us. Ta ta for now!! 😀