My Voodoo List

There are times when I get frustrated. Everyone does. But Lent has made me realize just how happy I am when I get to consume sugar, mostly in the form of chocolate. I have been a grump around the house, and find my patience frayed more so than usual. And y’all know patience is one of my strong points. I thought long and hard about how I can cheer myself up and improve my outlook on life, and came upon the best idea ripped off from Laura ever.

I’m making my first ever Voodoo List©. That’s right! Anything that just ticks me off for no reason will be placed on that list faster than a pin goes through burlap. So far, these are my entries for the week:

• The Oskars™. Yes, I misspelled it on purpose.
• The US Post Office. I paid the $0.56 I owed on postage due on a package on Wednesday, and I have yet to receive it.
• Danica Patrick. Over-hyped, and over-blown, and definitely over dumb.

Believe me, there will be more. I will update weekly for my sheer enjoyment. Feel free to leave any suggestions in the comments.  😉

Why-Oh-Gee-Ay: YOGA!!

As most of you know, I am not the most active gal around. I hate exercise. Well, I hate running. I hate doing the stair machine. Elliptical is the devil’s work. You get my drift. Even Sweating to the Oldies was a bit too hectic for me. I used to have a membership in a gym a long time ago, and while it was nice to get away for a while, I always felt intimidated by the people working out. It seemed to me like I was crashing a Gold’s Gym commercial.

But I’m growing older, and I’m starting to feel the aches and pains that come with the grey and the wrinkles. Several friends have suggested I try Yoga. Now, I’m in no shape to be twisted like a pretzel so that I can achieve inner peace. I have balked at trying it because I don’t have elastic ligaments and don’t relish the thought of trying to do a Chinese split or bend over backwards to touch my toes with my nose. However, my new friend Elizabeth (who photographed me for the TRD) is getting her certification as a Yoga instructor, and it just seems like Fate is pointing me in that direction. Either that, or this Lent thing is really playing havoc with my head.

So, I think I will try Yoga, with the possibility of either becoming very fit and flexible (SHUT. UP!!), or relegating myself to Ripley’s Believe It or Not Museum as the world’s only living pretzel.

I’m hoping for the former. But the latter could bring fame and fortune. It’s a toss up 😉

Guilt is a Great Motivator

Last night as I was going through clothing I haven’t worn in a year to donate to charity, I had an epiphany of sorts: I tend to keep clothing that doesn’t fit, either because I plan on losing a bit of weight to be comfy in it again, or because I am far too lazy to lose a bit of weight, and need comfier clothes to accommodate me. I felt a bit guilty over having an “escape route” for my laziness, and finally realized it was time to change that habit.

Luckily for me, Lent is coming up. And as is my custom, I don’t give up just one thing. I give up many, many things.

I give up drinking booze.

I give up sweets, including chocolate.

I give up fatty foods.

And I even give up caffeine.

Check it out! I come with a warning sign!

Usually Hubby steps around here on eggshells during Lent. He’s a smart cookie, though. He gives up cooking for Lent. But since he won’t be back until after Lent, he will get a reprieve. Last year I lost almost 17 pounds. This year he will come home to a more svelte wife. And if he’s smart, he will be carrying a bar of chocolate when he gets off the plane 😉

Well, I Did It

And I had a wonderful time. Yesterday I had the Travelling Red Dress™ photo shoot (info on the TRD is here). I had an amazing time with the photographer, Elizabeth, of Amakua Market Photography. She is a young woman who has an infectious love of life, and a wonderful personality, as well as that rarest of rare things: a love of her job. Grateful for the warm weather, we decided to go to the Japanese Gardens and walk around taking pics and laughing while enjoying the scenery.

And this is me. In the Almost Red Dress.

Yes, pixelated to protect my secret identity.

I found that this dress has a secret: it’s a magnifying glass. I started off wearing this dress to give myself a bit of magic, and found that the dress didn’t give it to me, it only let’s it show through. For that hour when I wore it, I saw myself like a court jester, and a petite flower, and a queen, and a little fish in the big pond full of Koi, and I loved it!! Big or small, I liked what I saw. It took me a long time to realize that I like who I am, and this dress helped me to see that others have always felt the same way. No, not everyone likes me, but at least I can see why some people do.

And the Converse All Stars™ were definitely the finishing touch 😉

I Need an Intervention, or More Space in My Closet

So y’all are familiar with my quest for the perfect tote bag, and how it happened that Vera Bradley finally had a print that I really, really like. Well, I didn’t just buy the tote. I had to buy the stuff that matches, too. And they also had another print I liked, one that was more… autumn. Anyway, now that I have acquired my tote bags and purse and stuff, I have to make room for them in my closet, which means I have to get rid of the stuff I don’t use.

Last night I started to clean out the “purse stockpile”. Now, I am not one to buy purses just because they are pretty and have a fun print or it’s on sale. Ok, maybe the “on sale” bit is true. But I did go through a period where I was looking for the “right” purse. My sister has a really nice one that looks like a tote bag (heh!), one I gifted her (double heh!), but one that would be way too big for me. As I took stock of my purses, I noticed that they were all roughly the same size, and same color: small to mid-size, and shades of brown. Brown goes with everything, see? So does black, but I only have one, and it’s an evening bag. Go figure.

Now, I have made a rule for myself: for everything I buy, two things of equal volume and/or mass have to go out*. Hubby can’t stand having a lot of “stuff” in the house, so this rule will help with the clutter. I wanted to count furniture in that rule, but our furniture he likes, so that’s out. But pretty much knick knacks and sundry is fair game. This Spring will sure be fun….

*Except fashion jewelry. That’s on a one-to-one ratio 😉

Feeling Lost

Sometimes I wander through the house, looking at pictures on the wall, wondering how Time passed so quickly. I see my children making decisions about what to wear, and how to style their hair, and even what kind of milk they prefer, and wonder when I was demoted from that job. I look around me and feel lost, no longer sure of my job here, or if I’m doing a good job, or even if I still have a job. I see them losing patience with me when I restrict their TV habits or tell them a certain movie is too adult or scary for them. I hear their sighs when they have to explain to me where they will be, and with whom, and when they will come home, and who is chaperoning the event. Sometimes late at night, I cry for what I have lost, knowing I won’t ever get it back, and wonder if they understand that it hurts me to see them splintering the bounds of childhood. Being a parent is not just tough. It’s extremely painful and sad. But it’s also wonderful and full of joy and happiness.

And through the pain and the fighting and the struggles, I know I would never change any of it. I only pray that when it’s their turn that they have it easier. And that they have a new appreciation for their mother 😉

On Regretting

I must say, I have very few regrets. I am very lucky in that regard. All that said, I do have some, and sometimes they surface, making me ask the inevitable, What if…?

I remember in college my Anthropology professor offered me the chance to be her student assistant during her sabbatical to Mali. I was excited, because that position was usually reserved for graduate students, and I was only a junior in college. That position could mean a slot in the graduate program (which at the time was very difficult to get). But after enjoying the accolades from fellow students, I realized I could never go. My parents were paying for part of my schooling, and my sister’s as well. The money I was earning was barely able to pay for food and incidentals, so I couldn’t save up for the flight and the expenses, since the position was that of an unpaid intern. So, I turned it down, knowing that I was passing up a huge opportunity, but also knowing the timing was not good. Years later, talking with my dad about that, he looked at me as if I had grown another head, and asked me why in the world I didn’t ask. In retrospect, it was fear that kept me from asking. Fear of being told “No”. My dad being a very smart man, told me that not only should I never be afraid of the word “No”, I should also not be afraid of accepting it, or rejecting it.

I used to regret not having gone to Mali. But I am glad that I have learned to regret the things I’ve done, rather than the ones I didn’t get to do, like dyeing my hair a chocolate cherry color.

Now, there’s a regret about which I laugh!!

The Great Purge

And so it begins. Winter is here, so the calendar tells me, and time for me to start getting rid of the accumulated junk around here. That’s what Hubby calls it. I tend to have a tough time getting rid of stuff. Unfortunately, the kids tend to take after me in that respect. Oh, I’m not a hoarder by any stretch. And if I’m going to own up to it, so is Hubby, since a LOT of the stuff in the garage is his.

The worst part about going through stuff is the memories. Most people see that as a wonderful thing, but I don’t. I tend to remember everything, or at least, more than most people, and going through stuff tends to set off an avalanche of emotions for which sometimes I am not prepared. The other day I found a little hat that Eldest was fond of wearing when she was only a year old, and I had a really, really tough time placing it in the donation pile. All I kept seeing was Eldest walking around wearing the hat and smiling because she had learned to put it on herself.

I have to remind myself that these are just things. Some things I can never give away, no matter what. But I know that sometimes the memory is enough, and I need to learn to let go eventually. I’m just not sure that’s today 😉

Sooner or Later…

I knew it. I just KNEW I was going to get sick. I avoided a full blown cold during the holidays, but eventually it will out.

Crap. Crap. Crap.

I don’t mind being sick. I mind having to slug through the ordinary chores like playing taxi and grocery shopping and running to the post office and laundry and cooking. Just once I would love to lay in bed while the kids catered to me. That would be awesome! Not going to happen until the weekend, though, and hopefully by then I’ll be fine.

I’m l’exhausted, and thinking that passing out on the couch is a wonderful idea.

Ok, it’s always a wonderful idea, but this time I have a great excuse 😀

And So It Begins

A new year is upon us, and things are…. pretty much the same. Little One woke me up at 3 AM with a tummy ache, and the little dog decided to grace my newly-cleaned carpets with her *ahem* stuff. The coffee maker decided it just didn’t want to work until I had begged and coaxed and promised her a vacation (translation: I’m getting a new one and giving this one to my mom), and find that we are out of milk while looking for the creamer. Typical day around Casa de Aggie.

That is something for which I am thankful.

I quite like the normal. The humdrum of everyday living keeps me focused on the good things, and grateful for what I do have. I’m glad I don’t pine for things out of my reach, and happy to have boring, even when the kids complain about it. While it’s true that some would call it “being stuck in a rut”, I prefer to see it as being steady and constant.

And that is my wish for y’all in this coming year: to be steady and constant, and to look for happiness wherever you are 🙂