The Things I Learn

You know those commercials of idyllic life? Where the mom has an impeccably clean home, and beautifully furnished, and her son brings home his friends, and she has a beautiful platter of food for the strapping youngsters rabidly starving after being outside?

That’s not me, ever.

The ROTC kids like to come over after practice twice a week, and they like to take over the kitchen. Drinks, food, snacks, pretty much everything is open season. And the conversations are hilarious. I had no idea a burger could become petrified in the floorboard of a Toyota. I also didn’t know that you can slide into said Toyota like you are a Hazzard Duke with the General Lee. Not because it’s cool, but because the locks are broken.

Like this, but with only two legs.

And right now, they are playing Rockband™ while my ceiling shakes and my eardrums wince.

It’s kinda cool being the hip mom, though. Even if I do wear glasses and yell at them to get off my lawn 😉

All in the Family

This weekend was like a whirlwind. We arrived a little late after dealing with hellacious traffic on the way up yonder East Texas. But better later than never. We had a great time catching up with relatives, and as always, enjoyed adding names to the HUGE genealogy chart.

The tragedy: I forgot to take the lemonade, and its additives.

Sometimes my mind is like a sieve. Especially when trying to get your eldest kid out the door on time.

So, I made do with Dr Pepper, and pie, and cookies, and more pie. Then Hubby’s cousins got the wonderful idea to go to the lake for a while. A bit of fishin’, a bit of tall tales, and a lot of family. Usually I tend to skip that part of the visit, mostly because my sisters-in-law tend to stay behind and that gives us a chance to visit, but this time none of them were able to make it, so I went to the lake with the kids and the cousins and one very big uncle. And then, my salvation:

You see that percentage number??? Yes, it took me an hour to drink one. ONE. HOUR. By then, my distaff cousins-in-law were well into their thirds. And thus, hilarity ensued.

All in all, it was a great weekend. We missed most of Hubby’s immediate family, but hopefully that will be remedied the following weekend.

Provided I don’t forget my lemonade again 😉

Saturday Sithy

Since I shall be spending my time at the family reunion this weekend, I figured I would post something Sithy.

It will help with keeping me sane.

All it needs is a shot of Bailey’s™ 😉

Have a great Saturday!!

I Don’t Have a Thing to Wear

I was looking through the closet, trying to put clothes aside to pack for the fifth ring of Hades the family reunion.

My jeans don’t fit.

My shirts are loose.

And let’s not go into the intimates.

Normally this would be an occasion to WHOOP and holler, but no. I don’t want to buy new clothes. I want to wear my old ones! Those are the ones I like! And the funny thing is, I gave all of my smaller clothing to my sister while she was here. And no, no backsies!

So, today I will be attempting to alter clothes in the vain hope that #1- they fit a bit better, and #2- I don’t screw up. All I know is, the drinks on Saturday will help me forget about uneven darts and hemlines 😉

Family Ties

This weekend we shall be travelling to Hubby’s family reunion. We always get excited about it, because so many people show up, and it’s always fun to catch up on news, as well as see the new additions and witness the many re-tellings of family histories.

It’s also the best time to wager who will wig out first. “Crazy” is a relative term in our family.

Every year, we are asked to bring something for consumption for the masses. Travelling for four hours makes it tricky, so I can never bring any hot foods. Most of the time I bring dessert, but so do most people coming in from out-of-town. So, this year I shall bring some of this, and some Solo© Cups.

I know it will be gone in 60 seconds.

But no worries. I will be designated driver, just so I can write down all the delish gossip for Sithy. There will be plenty, I’m sure. When you have Bible thumpers and Wiccans in the same venue, hilarity will ensue 😉

Apologies for Being Absent

Title says it all.

I was stuck at the hospital because Hubby’s car was in the shop, which meant I had to take him to work, which then meant waiting for him to do some stuff so he could leave early and take me home, but then the peeps asked for his help, and then a doc asked him to check a few slides, and then a meeting came up, which meant I was pretty much enjoying the view of the wall in his office most of the day, while attempting to connect to the internet because most everything on his computer is blocked, except for youtube and facebook, the first of which wouldn’t load because the internet was too slow, the second of which I couldn’t access because I was signed in on my laptop at home, where I was supposed to be cleaning.

Is that the best sentence today, or what??

Actually, I’m the most fascinating woman in my family, at least if that is to be believed 😉

Hope y’all had a great day!!

Tiny Bubbles

Sometimes the best laid plans go off without a single hitch.

Take a few nights ago. As y’all know, I do enjoy taking bubblebaths. They are my escape, and for those few hours 40 minutes, I can enjoy some trashy novel or write in my journal, or just vegetate without being interrupted by someone wanting to know if they can have a snack, even though they had dinner less than an hour ago. But usually someone needs to find something, or someone calls for me, or someone sends a text that must be answered as soon as possible…. something always happens.

But not this time!!

I took care of the dogs, so they wouldn’t need to go outside. I turned off the phone, since in a real emergency they would call the land line anyway. I cleaned up the kitchen and told the kids that if they were hungry, they were on their own and not to ask me for anything, and I left Hubby nicely comfy upstairs playing a videogame. Then I poured a glass of wine, grabbed a trashy book, and proceeded to my garden tub, whereupon I ran the hot water in the scalding range (because if you don’t sweat in the bubblebath, you are doing it wrong), poured half a bottle of bubble stuff, and submerged myself in the lava-hot goodness. One advantage to being short is that I can relax myself enough to feel like I’m floating while almost completely submerged. It’s like a sensory deprivation tank, without the drawbacks. It was so relaxing, I totally forgot about my trashy book.

I didn’t forget about the wine, though. Next time, I may just bring the bottle 😉

Food for the Soul

And for the gullet! Sometimes we take for granted food that makes us feel good, the Comfort Foods™ from our childhood. I have to admit, eating certain foods does give me a serenity that has nothing to do with a happy tummy. The truth is, they bring back nice memories, and that makes me enjoy them more. Like drinking coffee in the afternoon. I remember my grandmother laying out the china (we each had our own pattern), slicing the bread, the cheese, and putting out the jars of jam and butter, and making us feel like grown-ups for partaking at a very young age. She even taught us to put our pinkies out! She was a stickler for manners, and that has saved my derriere on occasion.

So here are some of my favorites. Don’t judge me.

#5– Beef Stew

I don’t care if we are having a 113* Fahrenheit heat wave here. I will make beef stew in the summer, and eat it while it’s still bubbly hot. And yes, I make mine with dry red wine, and serve it with crusty bread.

#4– Chicken Broccoli Casserole

Chicken and broccoli, covered in a thick cream with onions and topped with cheddar cheese. That sound you heard was my arteries cringing.

#3– Meatloaf

My sister is a great cook, but even she admits my meatloaf is way better than hers. When your brother-in-law asks for it for his birthday, you know it’s good!

#2– Grilled Cheese

One word: ZOMG!! Who doesn’t get comfort out of eating such gooey goodness??

And last, but not least:

#1– Anything with Bacon

Tell me I’m wrong.

I’m sure y’all have your favorites, too. And I’m sure my #1 is a favorite with all 😉

And a hat tip to my friend, Blutarskyy, for the inspiration!

Happy Father’s Day!!

Y’all may not get the hype Moms do, but you deserve that and much more!!!

Still, it doesn’t mean I can’t poke fun 😉

Hope y’all have a wonderful day, and make sure to treat the dads like the Sith Emperors they wish to be!!

It’s 1985 in My House….

No, I’m not kidding.

The other day, I was going through Little One’s closet, and found leg warmers. Surprised, I asked her where she got them, and she told me they were her friend’s.

Me: So, y’all wear them for twirling practice?

LO: Oh no, it’s for fun.

Me: I bet your legs get all sweaty.

LO: (puzzled) Why? They go on the arms.

Me: …..

And Eldest? One of her favorite T-shirts is her vintage AC/DC one. I admit, I am partial to it as well, but it feels like there’s a crack in the fabric of the Universe to have your kid like one of your favorite rock bands from your teen years. I think I got five more grey hairs from that.

However, the ultimate proof of my lapse in the Time Machine?

Courtesy of Superb Wallpapers

MINECRAFT!!!

With the super 12,825-bit games the kids have in their library, so realistic that blood, sweat, and tears travel in rivulets down the thickly-veined arms of the enemy, it comes down to wanting to spend hours on an 8-bit looking game building a house?? REALLY??? This from the same kids that laughed at the Dire Straits’ Money for Nothin’ video not three weeks ago??

I have to admit, I don’t see the attraction, but then again, I don’t play videogames. But it’s a bit freaky to have your husband chomping on the bit to go bump the kids off so he can have his turn. Or have him wake up at o-light-thirty on a Saturday to go play it. Yes, he is playing it as I type. And woke up the kids to help him out with creepers or some such thing.

Anyway, time for me to get my day started. I better go find my Valley Girl soundtrack and get my Wayfarers on, baby! 😉