Category Archives: Virtualities

Not. My. Day.

Sometimes it doesn’t pay to get out of bed.

Usually I wake up gradually and lay there quietly, planning out my day before the alarm goes off. Well, not this morning. I woke up from a really weird dream. It wasn’t bad, and it wasn’t good. Basically I was working for an obscure government outfit on loss prevention and alien apprehension. The “out of this world” kind, I mean. And I was at t he PX doing rounds when I stopped to watch a bunch of little drummer girls and one of them really, REALLY loved her pillow and talked to it, and one little boy made fun of it, and then a freakin’ tentacle slithers out of the pillow and grabs his wee-wee, and I pull it off, yelling at people to stand back as I get my gun out and start shooting at it, yelling at someone not to use the machete because the alien is like a hydra and would someone PLEASE bring me a lighter and a can of Aqua-Net©?? Whereupon after emptying two clips I promptly set the thing on fire.

Anyway, the point is I woke up all disoriented, and was not all here when I went to do the tea and coffee ritual. I grabbed the carafe and filter, and proceeded to dump the grounds in the sink, which is not necessarily bad, until you realize that you dumped the last of the coffee in the garbage can. So I reach down with some paper towels to sop up the mess, forgetting that the greasy foil from the baked salmon was in there. So now I had a very greasy, fishy arm to clean. Fine…FINE!!! I wash it off and start the coffeemaker and finish Hubby’s tea, and go to make the bed and set out his clothes. So I set out his shirt and pants, and then make the bed, forgetting the clothes are on it. Sigh…. undo bed, remove clothes, redo bed.

So finally I get my cup of coffee, and drink it scalding hot, because I do NOT have time to waste. I have to get back to my state of “normal” so I can take my mom shopping for groceries. She is cooking tonight, and I sure as heck do NOT want anything to interfere with that!!!

Last thing I need is to slip on a grape at the store and end up in traction, missing her pork roast 😉

What Dreams May Cone

Last night was a very nice, very quiet evening. Little One spent the night at her friend’s, and the two older ones went with their ROTC posse to Sea World. I had the remote for almost 15 minutes before I figured out I could watch something besides a kids show. Don’t get me wrong. I gave the remote to Hubby, as is custom. He is Master of the Remote, but he never forgets I’m Mistress of the Domain, so it evens out.

Anyway, we watched a couple of movies, and afterwards I was feeling a bit of my sweet tooth yelling at me kindly reminding me of my ice cream still in the freezer. So, I went to get the ½ gallon tub, only to find that there were exactly two teaspoons left of my delicious goodness.

I blame my Son.

Still, it was two teaspoons, so I quickly ate it, and then got ready for bed. My first mistake was brushing my teeth with sensitive toothpaste. It made me gag at the combination of Love Potion 31 and medicinal paste. Trust me when I say it is ghastly, and the taste does NOT go away after rinsing for five minutes.

My second mistake was eating so little.

I have been having odd dreams lately, but last night was beyond odd. I dreamt I was at Baskin-Robbins™ and was being asked how many scoops I wanted on my cone. I looked around, and found that they only had one flavor, and it was plain. Not vanilla, but just plain. I asked where the other flavors were, and the gal behind the counter told me the other flavors were for Bingo night. So I asked when Bingo night was, and she said “Tequila”. And I asked her if that was a flavor, and she said no, it was the time. And I said that wasn’t a time, but she insisted, and then told me to pick a flavor from plain, and how many scoops. I told her, “Five, please,” and she said I would need a permit to eat it. So I asked where I could get a permit, and she said “Banana!”

And the alarm went off, saving me from killing someone in my dream.

So, the lesson here is, eat your fill of ice cream before going to bed, and you won’t have to go to banana for a permit to eat ice cream while waiting for tequila to start Bingo night. Something like that. I’m still not sure.

I do know that I shall be going out for ice cream later 🙂

It’s 1985 in My House….

No, I’m not kidding.

The other day, I was going through Little One’s closet, and found leg warmers. Surprised, I asked her where she got them, and she told me they were her friend’s.

Me: So, y’all wear them for twirling practice?

LO: Oh no, it’s for fun.

Me: I bet your legs get all sweaty.

LO: (puzzled) Why? They go on the arms.

Me: …..

And Eldest? One of her favorite T-shirts is her vintage AC/DC one. I admit, I am partial to it as well, but it feels like there’s a crack in the fabric of the Universe to have your kid like one of your favorite rock bands from your teen years. I think I got five more grey hairs from that.

However, the ultimate proof of my lapse in the Time Machine?

Courtesy of Superb Wallpapers


With the super 12,825-bit games the kids have in their library, so realistic that blood, sweat, and tears travel in rivulets down the thickly-veined arms of the enemy, it comes down to wanting to spend hours on an 8-bit looking game building a house?? REALLY??? This from the same kids that laughed at the Dire Straits’ Money for Nothin’ video not three weeks ago??

I have to admit, I don’t see the attraction, but then again, I don’t play videogames. But it’s a bit freaky to have your husband chomping on the bit to go bump the kids off so he can have his turn. Or have him wake up at o-light-thirty on a Saturday to go play it. Yes, he is playing it as I type. And woke up the kids to help him out with creepers or some such thing.

Anyway, time for me to get my day started. I better go find my Valley Girl soundtrack and get my Wayfarers on, baby! 😉

The Lightness of Being

I love tragic love stories, and love foreign films and books. Several years ago, I read The Unbearable Lightness of Being, and found it to be a very deep, slightly disturbing book, brilliantly written. I followed it with the film, which was good but in my opinion, very loosely based, and as always disappointing compared to the book. But it had Daniel Day-Lewis, so WIN!!

For years, the message of the book disturbed me, because as often as I would re-read it, I just couldn’t grasp it. I’m not a concrete thinker by any stretch, but this was beyond my scope, even at the tender age of 21. Ok, perhaps because I was so young, then. In any case, it took me several years, and one epiphany, but I finally got the message. That concept of the “lightness of being” finally clicked.

And I know I can never feel it. And that’s a good thing. The lightness refers to being carefree, thinking only of the immediate, the “now”, whatever will make you happy and satisfied for YOU. Doing what I have to do, FOR ME, is never an option. I can never give in to the child-like selfishness, because I would then be forsaking those closest to me. Don’t get me wrong: I do small things for myself, like the bubblebath ritual and attending Wine Night with my friends. But I never let those things take precedence over anyone. I can’t. It goes against the very fiber of my being to do so. And in retrospect, I never understood it because I never have felt the need to feel the lightness, such as it is.

You may ask if I need to feel it now that I understand it. The answer is no, I don’t. I’m just glad I FINALLY figured out that little enigma from my youth, and can now shelve the book without a backward glance.

The movie, however, is still nice eye candy 😉

Stolen Hour

I hate this time of year: Daylight Savings Time. Last night I reset all the clocks for which I am responsible and wondered why it is that most states still adhere to such an antiquated policy. Arizona seems to cope quite well without it. So do a lot of other countries.

And it never fails…. any important change inevitably brings on anxiety, for no reason. So, last night as I settled into bed, feeling sleep overcome me, only to wake up suddenly. And stayed up until 4 AM.

So, not only do I fall asleep at 4 PM after the time changed, I had to get up at 7 AM to tend to the dog, which necessitated another pot of coffee. Three hours of sleep does not make for a nice Aggie. It doesn’t make for a pretty one, either, but that’s why I have Mary Kay™.

And as I sit here in the peace and quiet before everyone wakes up, my only thought is how to go about making a Daylight Savings voodoo doll. I could make a killing with that 😉

Seuss Sithy

Today finds me running errands and wincing at the fact that Mass Effect 3 is now available. For those who need a translation, it’s a videogame. Unfortunately, that is all I know. Anyway, a friend sent me this, and I just had to steal creatively borrow it, so I could share it with y’all!

In honor of Dr. Seuss’ birthday, and his wit. Courtesy of my friend Kenneth!

Y’all have a great Tuesday!! 😀

When It Rains….

This past weekend, Eldest informed me that the battery in her laptop needs to be replaced. That’s nothing unusual, since the battery in my laptop has needed replacing for a long time now. But yesterday Son informed me that the kids’ computer no longer reads discs or memory sticks.

So now it seems certain tech thingies can’t wait for Hubby to get home. I have been wanting to upgrade the kids’ computer for a while, but Hubby is bringing the one he is using back, so I’m not sure if I should go ahead and get a new CPU, and install the other PC in the main reading area.

Of course, Son is all for a new PC in his room, where he thinks he can limit access to his sisters. And Little One is all about having her very own laptop in her room. That won’t happen for a few years, though. The gnashing of teeth will continue unabated until then, I’m sure. I swear, this house is fast becoming a computer and videogame system graveyard. I just wonder if there will be enough room for a new iPad 😉

Converse All Stars™ Can Save the World

I used to think I got weird dreams whenever I ate too much, or drank alcohol too close to bedtime. But apparently, that may be a false premise. After all, I have given up alcohol and fats and sweet and pretty much anything I would enjoy for Lent, and still I had a weird dream.

Any of you familiar with Doctor Who will know what a TARDIS is. And what a Dalek is. For those of you that don’t, click here. Anyway, last night I went off to sleep, thinking that my dreams would be about all the chocolate I would eat on Easter Sunday, but no…

I’m off in the middle of nowhere, and suddenly the TARDIS appears and David Tennant gets out, and tells me that he needs me. And I just look at him and tell him that I can’t help him, because I have to stand out here in the field. He asks why, and I tell him because someone said I was outstanding in the field. And he says I can’t stand in the field because he needs me and my Converse All Stars™. And I look at him as he shows me his Converse All Stars™, and he says that we are twins of destiny. And that he needs me to go with him to save an interplanetary cargoship from destruction by the Daleks. To which I ask, aren’t those things trying to kill us all? And he says that the Converse All Stars™ keep us safe from destruction. So I ask him why not just distribute Converse All Stars™ to everyone, and he looks at me and tells me to stop trying to solve problems for him. And with a wave of his screwdriver, he leaves for Footlocker™.

David Tennant was already in the TARDIS. I had left in a huff.

I can’t imagine what my dreams will be like on Easter Sunday.

The Only Reason to Visit New York

I know, I know….most of the state is nothing like the Big Apple™. Still, it gets cold up there, so it’s not on my list of destinations. I would make an exception for this, though:

I would be there with lightsaber on 😉

Creatively borrowed from Sanyo Soup.

A Rose By Any Other Name

This beautiful photograph was released in April for Hubble’s 21st Birthday:

The large galaxy, known as UGC 1810, is shown distorted into a rose-like shape by the gravitational tidal pull of the companion galaxy below it, known as UGC 1813.

Even the Universe is romantic 😉