If the Shoe Fits

I’m a woman. I love shoes. It is an Axiom of Life™, and one that is almost universally accepted. Even my cousin who goes barefoot through the jungle and seldom wears anything on her feet loves shoes. My sister is addicted to shoes, and I am but an amateur compared to her.

Yesterday, a friend linked a story at that-social-site-that-has-faces that made me covet, covet like I have never coveted anything in my life.

Christian Louboutin designs a slipper for today’s Cinderella

This is the juxtaposition of so many wonderrific things I want with the force of ten thousand Betelgeuses, at seven orders of magnitude. First, CHRISTIAN LOUBOUTIN, he of the Red Soled Shoes™ that caress and form to every curve of your foot, making your legs look as if they go on forever. I have wanted a pair of his shoes for years. Every time I see the red sole I salivate. Some women love Jimmy Choo, others love Salvatore Ferragamo, and still some worship at the heel of Stuart Weitzman. But they pale in comparison to the absolute poetry of a Louboutin heel.

Second, BUTTERFLIES, and I don’t mean just any butterflies. A masterful butterfly heads the shoe and a smaller one caresses the heel, bringing attention to the sensual curve below the calf. I have a thing for butterflies, in case you didn’t know. And they strike me as a sign of femininity, so I love to wear their likeness.

Third, shimmery, translucent LACE. The epitome of femininity and charm, used in lieu of glass or lucite (let’s face it: a foot doesn’t look attractive encased in plastic. It reminds me of hamhocks). But lace always makes skin look luminous and pretty, while hiding small imperfections. That’s what I read in a Frederick’s of Hollywood catalog, anyway.

Fourth, beautiful BLING. While the lace smooths out the skin, and crystals give the illusion of glass. Yes, some people may think bling should be reserved for weddings and evening attire, but not me. Bling is pretty and it makes people look, and after all, why go through life unnoticed??

Alas, they are not meant to be for moi. Christian Louboutin made them as part of a collaboration with Disney™ for the Blu-Ray™ release of Walt Disney’s Cinderella. The shoes were such a hit that he will be gifting one lucky winner here in the U.S. with a limited edition pair. And I know it won’t be me. But a dream is a wish your heart makes, when you fall asleep.

And I will be dreaming 😉

I Don’t Have a Thing to Wear

I was looking through the closet, trying to put clothes aside to pack for the fifth ring of Hades the family reunion.

My jeans don’t fit.

My shirts are loose.

And let’s not go into the intimates.

Normally this would be an occasion to WHOOP and holler, but no. I don’t want to buy new clothes. I want to wear my old ones! Those are the ones I like! And the funny thing is, I gave all of my smaller clothing to my sister while she was here. And no, no backsies!

So, today I will be attempting to alter clothes in the vain hope that #1- they fit a bit better, and #2- I don’t screw up. All I know is, the drinks on Saturday will help me forget about uneven darts and hemlines 😉

Tiny Bubbles

Sometimes the best laid plans go off without a single hitch.

Take a few nights ago. As y’all know, I do enjoy taking bubblebaths. They are my escape, and for those few hours 40 minutes, I can enjoy some trashy novel or write in my journal, or just vegetate without being interrupted by someone wanting to know if they can have a snack, even though they had dinner less than an hour ago. But usually someone needs to find something, or someone calls for me, or someone sends a text that must be answered as soon as possible…. something always happens.

But not this time!!

I took care of the dogs, so they wouldn’t need to go outside. I turned off the phone, since in a real emergency they would call the land line anyway. I cleaned up the kitchen and told the kids that if they were hungry, they were on their own and not to ask me for anything, and I left Hubby nicely comfy upstairs playing a videogame. Then I poured a glass of wine, grabbed a trashy book, and proceeded to my garden tub, whereupon I ran the hot water in the scalding range (because if you don’t sweat in the bubblebath, you are doing it wrong), poured half a bottle of bubble stuff, and submerged myself in the lava-hot goodness. One advantage to being short is that I can relax myself enough to feel like I’m floating while almost completely submerged. It’s like a sensory deprivation tank, without the drawbacks. It was so relaxing, I totally forgot about my trashy book.

I didn’t forget about the wine, though. Next time, I may just bring the bottle 😉

Mirror, Mirror

That’s the title of one of my favorite Star Trek episodes. Parallel universe and Mr. Spock in a goatee. Doesn’t get any more fun than that!

Sometimes I feel like I’m caught in a parallel universe. I was in the bathroom cleaning up prior to scouring the counters when I looked up and thought, “That’s my MOM!!!”

Now, don’t get me wrong. My mom is a very good looking woman. I only WISH I looked like her! But it wasn’t that I witnessed her physical beauty in my mirror.

It’s just that I have her “11” between my eyes.

You know what I mean. The two lines constantly frowning, even when you aren’t worried or angry? Yeah, those!!! So, after I stopped ogling at the mirror, I did what any rational woman would do. I washed my face and slathered intensive wrinkle cream on my forehead, and started smiling at everything. Not even the dog having an accident wiped the smile off my face.

It doesn’t mean I won’t ever get mad. It just means I will be smiling while yelling 😉

Twenty Lipsticks Does Not an Addiction Make

At least, that’s what I’m telling myself.

I was scrolling the blogs this morning, and noticed an interesting ad on someone’s sidebar. Cover Girl™– or maybe it was Maybelline™, some make-up company– was touting sixteen new shades for the summer season. SIXTEEN!!! I sat there and seriously wondered who would own sixteen different lipsticks, though to be fair not all women (or men) could wear the same shades. And for only ONE season. I mean, if I find a shade I like, I don’t retire it because Emily Post said so, you know what I mean? Anyway, I was still muttering about how silly some women are for having so many lipsticks, and went to my make-up basket, and counted….

Not only did I have over 20 lipsticks, I had duplicates of the same shade! Some from Bare Escentuals™, some from Estee Lauder™, one from Guerlain™, and even Chanel™. Oh, and then I found even more hiding in a Tupperware™ container, and shamefully, those I have owned since I used to sell Mary Kay™.

Back in 1997.

But the worst part about this whole thing? I seldom wear lipstick.

So today I shall be deleting old make-up from my stash. And before you ask, no, you may NOT have the Chanel™ lipstick. I do like that one 😉

I’m Not a Hand Model, Either

But I was inspired by my interwebby friends Laura and Nicole. Besides, it is a small vanity to have, one with which I can live. So, I decided to be a hand model for today, showing off Ladies and Magenta-Men by O.P.I. What can I say? I liked the name, and the color is a very bright magenta, to which my iPhone 3 GS camera doesn’t do justice.

Well, you know I was going to hold a knife. A gun would not have been clichè enough 😉

The Cake is a Lie

Sorry for not posting any dribble yesterday. I was running errands with Hubby, and by the time we arrived at home, it was time to play Taxi for the kidlets, and figure out what to make for dinner, which was a feeble attempt at Salisbury steak. Live, and learn.

Anyway, yesterday Hubby and I decided to have a sit-down lunch instead of drive-thru fare. My thrifty side was feeling a wee bit guilty, but it was his idea, and who am I to stop him from being happy, right? RIGHT?? It also gives us a chance to talk and not feel rushed about anything, so that was nice. And then it was time for dessert.

I do love Tiramisu, almost as much as I love Crème Brulee. The name translates to “pick me up”, which might be a reference to the caffeine in the espresso coffee and the cocoa powder.

But it was all a lie!!!

Looking at the picture I could feel the happiness radiating from it. “Go ahead and get some,” my Aggie Devil said. “It’s just one tiny, itty bitty dessert…” she kept whispering. And I was ctlhoisse* to getting it. But the Aggie Angel showed up. “Don’t do it. It’s a lie! The cake will make you feel good at first, and then you’ll want more, and more, until you can no longer fit in your clothes!!”

I hate it when she’s logical. In the end I skipped it, knowing I didn’t need it and being full as I was would have made me feel even worse, physically at least. I can find balance between need and want.

I just have to remember to order dessert first next time 😉

* “this close” jumbled up to emphasize just how close I really was to ordering it!!

Memed

So I was minding my own business, reading the blogs, when I saw that The Real Dave had posted a challenge: just something to reveal a little more about myself. Like y’all don’t know enough about me already. But I’m feeling low on inspiration, so I will take the easy way out, and answer the questions.

#1– Book or movie, and why?

Well, this one is a no brainer for me. Books! There is far more detail in a book than in an adaptation of it on film. It also lets me imagine the scenario far better than if I were watching another person’s interpretation of it. I usually find myself disappointed in that regard.

#2– Real book, or e-book?

Oh dear…. Full disclosure: I own a Nook Color tablet and a Nook reader. And still I prefer the feel of the pages. I can’t help it. The anticipation of physically turning the page to read what’s next is palpable to me.

#3– Funniest thing you’ve done in the past five years?

Every day here is an adventure. Lately I have been having some issues, but that’s not to say funny stuff doesn’t go on. One of the funniest things was the horrible time I had trying to make some bread. I couldn’t find the blade for the bread machine, and spilled oil all over the floor, and slipped and fell on my derriere. The dog was very judgmental that day, too.

#4– Do you put yourself in the books you read/write, or the movies you watch?

All the time. Sometimes it’s disappointing in a movie, because you see the lead character through your eyes, and when they do something that goes against your beliefs or your facts, you want to yell and tell them to do it right. Once again, books win out.

#5– How would your best friend describe you?

Hubby is my best friend. I’m pretty sure the terms “naive” and “neurotic” would be used, but overall, he still thinks I’m ok.

#6– Favorite kind of car and why?

This is where y’all will hate Aggie. My answer is…. none. I view cars as utilitarian, their purpose to get me from point A to point B. End of story. Some cars out there have beautiful lines, and awesome engines, but I just don’t have a favorite in that regard.

#7– Would your choice of party be a catered meal, or a barbeque out back?

BBQ, for sure. The catered meal sounds awesome, until you take into account the social graces that you must practice with it. I’m not saying I couldn’t do it, but sometimes it strikes me as pretentious and phoney. A BBQ is laid back, and feels more natural as well as strikes a primal chord. I just can’t see me talking about Aunt Bunny’s mustache at a catered affair.

#8– What is your favorite season and why?

Hm…. I like all but Winter. I don’t care for cold weather. I happen to think sn*w is a four letter word. But if I had to pick one, I would say Spring. I love to see my bluebonnets bloom.

#9– What specific lesson have you learned: spiritual, educational, occupational?

I learned that you can’t take a break from giving everything you can.

#10– Besides writing (for the blog, or otherwise), what’s your favorite thing to do when you get some extra time?

Uh, what extra time? Does sleep count? If I get inspired, I do some altered artwork, or read. That always helps me gather myself.

#11– What is one place you can be found at least once a week?

Well, everyone knows I love bubblebaths. But you can also find me sitting under the tree out front. It’s the one place I can think, and hopefully, the one place where I can hear answers.

Well, if you are reading this, consider yourself tagged, and go meme yourself 😉

On a Diet

But not a regular, run-of-the-mill diet.

I’m on a financial diet. I admit I lurves me some shopping, but in my opinion, I think I have been using it as a substitute for something. Perhaps being alone, or maybe wanting to feel good about myself. Frankly, I’m not sure. I do know I buy gifts for a lot of people, and having a large family doesn’t help. Luckily I am done with Mother’s Day and Father’s Day gifts, and almost done with Christmas.

Yes, I am that bad.

I’m not cutting my card, but I am cutting myself from using it, with the exception of grocery shopping and getting the kids clothing they need. I pretty much have everything I need as does Hubby, and having lost weight during Lent facilitated me fitting back into my clothes, so that is a major plus. Oh, and I’m still losing weight. Getting in the habit of smaller portions sure is helping there!

And gift card shopping doesn’t count 😉

When Cleaning Pays Off

I decided to adopt The Queen’s dictate about cleaning five things or areas per day. Hubby thinks that this house is in need of Niecy Nash or the Hoarders crew, but that’s his minimalistic nature talking. I do admit we have junk drawers and piles of paperwork around the house, though. And being fond of scrapbooking, I admit to having piles of material and “junk” that I use for that purpose. But overall, I keep it contained. The same way I contain myself in jeans, I suppose.

Anyway, I was cleaning off a pile of receipts over by the kitchen sink and guess what??? I found a $50 gift card!!! Yes, it is addressed to me. That was a very nice surprise, but not as good as the one I found while cleaning yet another stack of paperwork in my room, where I found a $200 gift card to Pottery Barn!!! Mom and Dad’s gift from Christmas, which I can be forgiven for forgetting about since my life has been a bit topsy-turvy.

And if that weren’t enough, I just found $13.45 in the laundry. It’s almost like Fate is forcing me to go shopping. I guess Fate knows shopping therapy works wonders for women. So I’ve heard 😉