Busy Living

Yes, yes… I realize I have been away from blogging at all of the sites I admin for a while. The end of the school year is upon us, and so is the usual military turnover. I hate that time of year. You make friends, you forge new ties, only to have distance try to render them asunder. Right now my kids are getting ready to enjoy the summer weeks before starting major life-defining years: one’s senior year, the other’s freshman year.

I am not ready for the drama. And there will be PLENTY of drama. Little One in high school guarantees it.

I am also not ready to be a band parent. When my sister was in the high school band, parents were encouraged to support not just the kids but also the band. Now it is mandatory to support the band. I will pay less in HOA dues per year than I will as a supportive band booster, and the only return I will get is a T-shirt. Don’t get me wrong: I support all of my kids’ endeavors. I just don’t appreciate being told I MUST be a member of an exclusive club to show it. Ok, rant over.

Anyway, the past week I have been trying to get the house streamlined and planning on moving Son to the upstairs bonus room. This is a major, MAJOR event. It’s almost reminiscent of the Brady Bunch episode where Greg and Marsha were fighting over the attic room. Not that the kids are fighting over it, but more like the undertaking of moving three rooms into two. Why? Because the bonus room is used as both a game room and a craft room, and in moving Son up I will have to forfeit my craft area for a while.

Unless I leave the game room up there with Son, and only move the craft stuff downstairs….

Hm…….

IDEA!!!

But I seriously doubt it will come to pass, because someone who shall remain nameless, namely Hubby, will want his own office space. It’s ok. I guess I can box up the stuff I don’t use and wait until the kids begin to leave the nest. Once they do, they become gusts in their own home, and I get the space I need for my crap. It’s a win-win, as far as I’m concerned 😀

Crash and Burn

Last night, Eldest requested a favor from me. She asked me to have the oil changed in her vehicle because A) the check engine oil light came on, and 2) she was working through the holiday weekend and would have no chance to do so. Being a wonderful mom, I took the van in and had the oil and brake fluid changed.

I go the extra mile. Sometimes.

Anyway, I am in the waiting area, minding my own business as I play Words with Friends (looking at you, Mitchell), when a young gentleman decided to strike up a conversation. He was very well-mannered, with a nice drawl and looked to be about 26 or so. I am a horrible judge of age, but he was definitely way younger than I am. And I was way unavailable, apparently to his chagrin. It was a nice if odd stroke to the ego, I must admit. But no matter how high the feeling, eventually you crash back down. And so it came to pass after I got home.

Me: So, this young man was hitting on me at the Pennzoil place.

Hubby: Really?

Me: Yep, even dressed like this (sweatpants and shirt) and with no make up on. I haven’t even shaved my face yet.

Hubby: Did it make you feel good?

Me: Well, I was wigged out more than anything, to tell you the truth.

Hubby: Guess I shouldn’t have spent the money, then…

Me:…………………………………………………………..

Ego suitably deflated while laughing hysterically. If you can’t poke fun at yourself, you aren’t living right. As an aside, his little barb gave me the impetus to go to the outlet mall.

Who’s laughing now? THIS GAL 😉

Dishing Out

Last week I was once again at the thrift store, where they know me by sight. And name. First name. Anyway, I was on the lookout for some dishes for my niece. She moved out and is in need of “matching dishes”, because she has a Jones about that sort of thing. She can’t afford much, so I offered to be on the lookout for them at my usual haunt. As always, the store did not disappoint.

I found a nice set of dishes, dinner and salad plates only, and figured that would be enough. They looked a bit opaly, but sturdy, and for $3 the set I couldn’t go wrong. Until I took them home and washed them.

VINTAGE ARCOPAL DISHES!!!!!

So now I am in a huge quandary. I love, LOVE, LOVE vintage stuff. I have vintage Pyrex™ and Anchor Hocking™ and Hazel Atlas™ and Fire King™ and just can’t bring myself to give these up. But neither can I justify yet another set of dishes into the kitchen. Seriously, I am at full capacity. Everywhere you look I have a set of dishes: Polish pottery, Brasserie™, Longaberger™, Gorham™, Lenox™, Wedgwood™, Franciscan™….. Oh, and my mom is bringing me my grandmother’s bakelite from Puerto Rico.

CRAP!!!!

Something’s gotta give, and I get the feeling it will be the Franciscan, since none of the kids like the flower pattern. As for my niece, I bet she would prefer a new set of dishes anyway. That is what I will tell myself to lessen the guilt 😉

Stupid Aggie Tricks

Today I was perusing the social-site-with-faces for news and sundry, when I noticed my friend PajamaMomma‘s status:

Running late…..washed my hair in the sink with dish soap. I hope I don’t get “dish pan” hair.

And that got me to thinking of all the stupid things I have done simply because I saw them on TV. I’m not saying PJM’s hair washing was stupid. I consider it sheer genius. It just so happens that her status post triggered a memory avalanche.

I hate it when that happens.

#1– I have tried and enjoyed milk with Pepsi™.

On a dare at the college cafeteria, this n00b took on a member of the elite baseball team (Chris Knoblauch, if you must know) and drank a glass of milk with ghastly Pepsi. It is the only way I will drink either.

#2– Soaked my fingernails in Palmolive™ dishwashing liquid.

To this day I don’t know why doing that was a Good Thing™. All I got out of it was clean cuticles.

#3– Wrote my name using Era™ liquid detergent, on a grass stain that I incurred on my jeans while doing something no doubt stupid.

Yeah, you have to actually LET IT SET for hours before you see any change. I wasted half a container and incurred motherly wrath.

#4– Washed my hair with Ajax™.

Obviously, I learned a lot from Laverne and Shirley. Also, Ajax™ strips your hair of oils and residue pretty well. Do not do this more than once a month, though.

#5– Carried Certs™ around just in case I had a “Certs encounter.”

The closest I had to a “Certs encounter” was years ago, in the wine section of the supermarket, and the gentleman was in his late 70’s. Neither one of us had Certs™. Thank goodness.

These are just a few of my…. fails, I suppose. I am sure I am not alone. At least PJM has done her share. So I have that going for me 😀

Raginess Cranked Up to Eleven

Ever have one of those days when you are driving to a certain locale, having left with time to spare, only to find yourself driving behind someone doing ten miles below the speed limit, weaving in his lane because they are consulting their smartphone, then find themselves slowing down further because they are no longer watching the road but instead seem to be dialing said smartphone, and while dialing, the driver hits the curb and over-corrects into the oncoming traffic lane, over-correcting again, and then stopping on the train tracks and panicking because here comes a train and he needs to reverse his vehicle because the caution arm was coming down any second, so I had to swerve into the left turn only lane so he would have more room to avoid becoming a statistic, thus forcing me to turn in the opposite direction of where I wanted to go, making me do a legal U-turn a few streets down, and finally catching up to the same driver, who was still talking on his phone, and who screeched to a halt in the middle of an intersection because he just noticed that was his turn?

Anyone have one of those days?

I can’t be the only one.

Normally I am a very patient person. I don’t care if someone has more than ten items in the express check-out. I don’t care if someone is taking their time adjusting their seat while I await their parking space. I don’t care if someone blocks an entrance because they stopped to answer a text.

But acting irresponsibly while operating a vehicle? You have now crossed the Rubicon, jackass. I did what any worried mother would have done: applied copious pressure on the horn, followed him as he turned right, sidled next to him, rolled down my window and yelled, “HEY, YOU MAY WANT TO PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR DRIVING, AND PERHAPS THE TRAIN’S DRIVING WHILE YOU’RE AT IT!!”

The look he gave me was worth it. He was so stunned he missed his turn at the light. After that my rage began to subside and I became my normal, happy self again. I managed to run my errands in time and get home in time to begin making dinner.

And no one questioned me when I had a second glass of wine 😀

Gears, Grinding

There are just some things out there that defy explanation, even to a female such as myself. I say that because female logic is far different than actual logic.

We all know this. Best to acknowledge and move on.

Why do some gals wear pink camouflage clothing? Are they hunting flamingos? Cotton candy? What??

Why is the word “asked” pronounced “axed” by some people? I don’t live in an episode of The Walking Dead.

Why do people ask if they can be honest with you? Wouldn’t you rather be slapped by the truth than kissed with a lie?

Why do kids insist on saying YOLO? You live every day. You die only once.

Anyway, I have been writing this ENTIRE post for over four hours. Actually more like six hours. I lost track of time and forgot I had been writing this morning. I blame Pinterest. And the dogs. Maybe a few squirrels as well. Hope y’all had a pleasant day 🙂

Thursday Never List

I’m so sorry I haven’t been blogging here in a few days. I’ve been having some health concerns and had to get all my ducks to the other side. Things are fine, but if you remember this, then you’ll understand. I am blessed with a recurrence and a fabulous outlook, because it could always be worse. Anyway, that’s over and done with and I can now get back to the regularly (pshaw!) scheduled blog.

Today’s list will be the last for a while. It gets harder and harder to do a Never List as I blog along. And I find lists to be like cheating. I do feel like I don’t put effort into a post when I do a list. Although it takes me FOREVER to think of a topic, so I have that going for me.

And you pay with rectangular bills.

Things I Will Never Understand

#5– Ketchup on burgers but not on steak.

Unless the cow has two different genetic codes, I fail to see why you can’t eat steak with ketchup.

#4– Driving gloves.

Sure, some time back they were necessary. But the steering wheel has come a long way, baby.

#3– Lip scrub.

Your lip has some of the thinnest skin on your persona and you want to polish it?

#2– A tax hike is permanent but a tax cut is temporary.

And still, people don’t notice that.

#1– How some females use their gender to get out of a ticket.

Seriously, I don’t get how a woman could lower herself to that point, especially when she is in the wrong.

Anyway, that’s it for now. I’m off to take some Tylenol™ because I am not supposed to have any blood thinning pain medication after having needles in my upper pectoral area. Now that you have that visual, I hope you can enjoy the rest of your Thursday 😉

Thursday Never List

The other day I was grocery shopping when a gent asked my opinion on wine.

I was in the baking section.

I simply shrugged it off as just a passing thing, until he asked me what I  prefer to drink when on a date. I told him that HUBBY AND I prefer to drink whisky. He scooted off with a murmured “thank you ma’am”. Later, while at the check-out line, another gent asked if I was making Caprese salad for dinner (I had tomatoes, basil, and mozzarella cheese), to which I replied in the affirmative. He then goes on to exclaim how much he LOVES it and how he prepares it, and then offers to teach me his method of Caprese salad making. I seriously thought I was in the Twilight Zone. No one but acquaintances and friends and the cashier ever speak to me, and here were two men who were giving me grocery pick up lines?? And then I figured out why:

Yep, THAT is the shirt I was wearing. Men are simple, I guess. But that got me to thinking about truly horrible pick up lines. And honestly I drew a major blank, so I had to ask Hubby and other male friends. And the results were awesome!

Pick Up Lines to Never Use

#5– You’re so hot, you’re melting the elastic in my underwear.

After hearing that, I would pray for spontaneous combustion.

#4– Do you believe in love at first sight?

In a smoky bar with a disco ball and lasers and spotlights? If you do, you may need LSD to make things normal.

#3– You are beautiful. I am ugly. Let’s have average children.

I give this one marks for honesty.

#2– Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?

If an angel falls from Heaven, they are now serving in Hell. So you basically called her Satan’s minion.

#1- If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?

It only works for the Bellamy Brothers.

So that’s the list for this week. Hope y’all never have to hear any of these at the grocery store 😉

How to Handle a Busybody

This is turning into How-To Week, isn’t it?

Yesterday, I took Son to the dentist for his biannual cleaning. Since I usually wait for the kids, I decided to take a book to alter to keep myself occupied and entertained. It’s therapeutic, and makes time pass rather quickly. Now, most people tend to ask what I’m doing out of curiosity, and they are pleased with the way the book turns out. But one lady yesterday was not so happy.

As I sat there folding pages, she came and sat one chair away from me (observing the personal space rule of waiting rooms), and decided to engage me in a debate of sorts.

Lady: You know you are destroying a book, right?

Me: I’m sorry?

Lady: You are destroying a book. You shouldn’t do that. That’s like banning or burning it!

Me: How am I destroying this book?

Lady: Well, you are folding it and now no one can read it.

Me: No one was reading it. This book was being tossed out in the recycling bin by the thrift store because no one wished to purchase a mass market romance paperback from 1974. It was destined to be mulched and re-purposed as kindling as a fake log. I thought it would be far more kind to alter it into a pretty sculpture that one can pull apart and read IF one is curious enough to do so. I have not desecrated the words with fire or with censorship in any way. I’m simply giving this poor book a new chance at life.

Lady: Well, it’s still wrong to treat a book that way.

Me: So you would rather it be burned as a fake log than be someone’s little literary surprise? Who is burning books now?

Lady: You don’t understand…

Me: I understand perfectly well. You see a book as an object with one purpose in life. I see it as something to be treasured in all forms. We can differ in opinion but you can’t force your opinion on me, just as I can’t force my opinion on you. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I would like to finish this before my son is done.

Lady: ……………

Me: *goes back to folding*

She eventually moved to the other side of the waiting room. I could feel her disapproving glances as I continued to fold, which made me smile all the more. Perhaps I was a bit mean, but apparently the lady forgot that one should never, ever judge a book by its cover 😉

Thursday Never List

Wow, look at this! Three posts in a row!! WHOO HOO!!

Yesterday, I was in a conversation with blog friend Tiberius over at the social-site-with-faces, complaining about how I never finish folding my laundry because I hate, hate, HATE folding underwear and socks. I despise it with every fiber of my being.

Tiberius: Caught up on all the washing backlog?

Me: Ugh, sorta.

Tiberius: What happened?

Me: One load left to fold and I hate doing socks and underwear.

Tiberius: You don’t fold socks and underwear do you?

Me: I do!

Tiberius: Why??

Me: ………………………..

My mom trained us to fold everything. Heck, she even ironed my dad’s boxers. She was militant about folding things correctly. And by “correctly”, I mean “her way”. Yes, even fitted sheets.

Things One Should Never Bother Folding

#5– Hosiery

Socks, pantyhose, stockings… as long as you pair them, you’re good to go. Unless your sock drawer looks like former President Bush 41’s colorful array. Then you shouldn’t even bother with pairing them.

#4– Placemats

I understand folding napkins, but placemats??

#3– Long-sleeved T-shirts

Sure, short sleeve T-shirts are easy to fold if you choose to fold them. But long sleeved? I feel like I’m constructing an accordion.

#2– Undies

Disclosure: I do. But I was kind enough to tell my kids they could just lay them out flat, or throw them in the drawers as long as they did their laundry, and they were clean. You have to pick your battles.

#1– Fitted sheets

Sigh…. I know how to fold a fitted sheet. My mother taught me, and I learned the Martha Stewart way, as well. But what is the point?? Even if you wad it up into a ball, you end up stretching it over the mattress and that takes care of all the wrinkles! GAH!!

So that’s my Never List for today. To fold or not to fold, that’s not the question. The question is, what to do with the extra time?? 😉