There Are Days….

I confess I have had a rough time finding topics for this blog. It’s not that there isn’t stuff out there on which I can bloviate. It’s just that sometimes I don’t have the motivation to write about pithy crap. This isn’t a serious blog, and I try to keep it light and full of fluff. There are days when that is sorely tested.

I see friends on social media come to cyberspace blows due to differences in opinion.

I see family over-react when they see a nebulous comment from a member.

I see tin foil and all-seeing eyes while people leave Occam’s awesome razor to rust.

I see hypocrisy thinly veiled as superiority.

But the thing I see most is people DEMANDING their right to be offended.

Last I checked, that wasn’t on the Bill of Rights, and it sure as Hades not endowed by our Creator. If you are offended by something, first take a minute to ask yourself why. Figure out the cause of the offense before you go off on someone who may not have the same grade of skin thickness that you do. If you don’t like what someone has posted, let your fingers do the walking and scroll right by. If you feel that someone’s opinion is making the delicate walls of your echo chamber quiver like Jell-O™, then by all means use that finger of yours and hide or delete the offending character. Getting into a CAPS LOCK match wastes everyone’s time, and you could possibly break a nail when pounding out your sensibilities.

Remember: social media isn’t a one way street.

Raginess Cranked Up to Eleven

Ever have one of those days when you are driving to a certain locale, having left with time to spare, only to find yourself driving behind someone doing ten miles below the speed limit, weaving in his lane because they are consulting their smartphone, then find themselves slowing down further because they are no longer watching the road but instead seem to be dialing said smartphone, and while dialing, the driver hits the curb and over-corrects into the oncoming traffic lane, over-correcting again, and then stopping on the train tracks and panicking because here comes a train and he needs to reverse his vehicle because the caution arm was coming down any second, so I had to swerve into the left turn only lane so he would have more room to avoid becoming a statistic, thus forcing me to turn in the opposite direction of where I wanted to go, making me do a legal U-turn a few streets down, and finally catching up to the same driver, who was still talking on his phone, and who screeched to a halt in the middle of an intersection because he just noticed that was his turn?

Anyone have one of those days?

I can’t be the only one.

Normally I am a very patient person. I don’t care if someone has more than ten items in the express check-out. I don’t care if someone is taking their time adjusting their seat while I await their parking space. I don’t care if someone blocks an entrance because they stopped to answer a text.

But acting irresponsibly while operating a vehicle? You have now crossed the Rubicon, jackass. I did what any worried mother would have done: applied copious pressure on the horn, followed him as he turned right, sidled next to him, rolled down my window and yelled, “HEY, YOU MAY WANT TO PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR DRIVING, AND PERHAPS THE TRAIN’S DRIVING WHILE YOU’RE AT IT!!”

The look he gave me was worth it. He was so stunned he missed his turn at the light. After that my rage began to subside and I became my normal, happy self again. I managed to run my errands in time and get home in time to begin making dinner.

And no one questioned me when I had a second glass of wine 😀

Shredded

That’s how I feel.

Apparently we are in a record-breaking season for pollen. And this year is when my body decided I have allergies to pollen.

Yay….me….

This wouldn’t be so bad if they were Midichlorians.

Anyway, I figured y’all could enjoy an obscure Sithy.

That is so full of win, I can’t contain myself.

Ok, time for more medication. And by “medication”, I mean coffee. Hope y’all enjoy your day 🙂

Thursday Never List

A few days ago, I was talking to a friend of mine who has become concerned about the rapid appearance of little wrinkles around her eye area. She told me she bought some wrinkle cream from a high-end cosmetics brand and after recovering from the price she quoted, she went on to say she would even have cosmetic surgery to “fix” the wrinkles. She asked for my opinion on what she should have done to stem the tide of ageing.

She asked a woman who can’t even be bothered to get rid of her gray, much less bother to put on wrinkle cream on her face.

Anyway, it got me to thinking: what cosmetic surgeries would I consider too much?

So here is the Never List of cosmetic surgeries for moi.

#5– Buttock augmentation

I’m sorry, but if I need a cushion, I’ll just get one from the store.

#4– Ear pinning

Nothing a hat or a good haircut wouldn’t help.

#3– Liposuction

I have seen the “suctioning”. I would rather cut any fat out with a machete than go through that.

#2– Implants for the female upper pectoral area*

It’s not that it’s a bad thing. It’s just that I imagine a 1,000 years from now, some archaeologist will be digging a grave and find these globules and think they are a religious artifact. The sad part being, he would be right.

#1– “Stiletto” surgery

Cutting off the pinkie toe so you can wear stiletto shoes?? Back in the 1400’s it was called torture. Now it’s called fashionable.

I love shoes, but not that much 😉

*Sorry for the wording, but the pr0n spam would find the blog otherwise!

Going Off on a Rant

Ok, it’s late April, and it’s 48* F outside. That’s 9* C for my foreign friends. And that’s INCONCEIVABLE for Texas. We should be enjoying high 80’s, if not downright scorching next to the Sun mid-90’s. Those of you up north, you have my pity.

Nothing like being told at the last minute that I need to make graduation announcements. Thank goodness I know how to make cards, have stamps, and a printer. Now to spend days doing the same thing over and over. Isn’t that insanity? Or being a mom? Or are they interchangeable?

My youngest is testing this week, and she was instructed to mark “A” on her ethic background. Upon calling the school, I was told “H” is not an option because it isn’t an ethnicity. No one could explain why she was told to mark Asian. To the best of my knowledge, Genghis Khan never set foot on Puerto Rico. I said as much, and was asked, “Who?” I cried.

I think I need to eat a lot of chocolate today. That’s the best cure 😉

Things I Hate, Vol. 25

Ugh….

I hate laundry. I have no problem washing and drying, or even ironing.

I just hate folding all that crap.

I have no problems with cleaning bathrooms, or washing cars, or cleaning ovens, or even disposing of intelligent life found in my refrigerator.

But I absolutely loathe folding clothes.

Am I the only one?? 😉

Oops, I Did It Again…

Well, I started out to write today with good intentions.

Until I walked into the kids’ bathroom.

Three hours later…..

I must have removed eleven empty bottles, and for the life of me, I can’t understand how it is that they can’t throw away an empty bottle into the trashcan that is only two feet from the tub!!

Two. Feet.

Honestly, if I could adhere the trashcan to the tub, I would.

Hope y’all have a wonderful afternoon. I’m off to ventilate the toxic fumes 😀

Shopping Day

With the kids.

Pray for me.

This is possibly the shortest post ever.

Maybe.

If You Wait Until the Last Minute, It Only Takes a Minute…

Seriously, I am not the biggest procrastinator around. But for some reason, I completely thought I had plenty of time to make ten Christmas cards for a swap I am attending this evening.

I only have to die-cut the ornament pieces, paint them, decorate them, measure the cardstock, decorate the front of each card, embellish the ornaments, embellish the card, adhere everything, and voíla!! I will be done.

In a couple of hours….

Hope y’all have a more productive Friday 😉

Feeling Stabby

I am not a happy camper today. Aside the fact that Eldest is STILL not finished reorganizing her room, I now have been dealing with a rather ornery thorn in my side: my phone bill. It’s not what I pay. It’s the fact that I’m not getting paper billing when I have requested it five times already.

I understand that I may get someone in a foreign country to help me. I have no problems with foreign accents. But I do have a problem when I keep requesting paper billing, and I don’t get it. It is still an option with my carrier, after all. And the worst part? I can’t see my bill online, because apparently the sign-up feature doesn’t recognize me as being a customer!!!

But hey, let me skip one payment and they sure as heck find my address to send me my overdue bill.

So, if they can send me an overdue notice, why can’t they send me the freakin’ bill in the first place???

Yes, they are now on my Voodoo List™. Here’s hoping that after a stabby session with their representative doll, they get their act together. If next month comes around and there’s no bill, I will make origami machetes out of $1 bills and deliver them personally 😉