Category Archives: Open Thread

Thursday Never List

As y’all know from yesterday, my mom is coming for a visit and I am in full panic mode. And by that I mean I am obviously sitting at my laptop wasting precious time.

If you wait until the last minute, it only takes a minute, right? RIGHT??

It doesn’t matter how often I tell myself, “Aggie, why not do this, or that, and get it out of the way before X comes over?” Usually when I do ask myself that, my other self retorts with, “HELLO?? Drama isn’t going to read itself, you know!” It’s a vicious cycle. At least it’s not viscous. That’s a whole other level my other other self would love to dissect.

I love my selfs. Heh!

Anyway, when it comes to cleaning, there are some things one should never skip. I mean it. Some things you can’t just ignore. It’s like giving Godzilla a key to Tokyo and a coupon for all-you-can-eat. Maybe that doesn’t make sense to y’all, but it sounded pretty awesome in my head.

cleaning lol

Cleaning Jobs One Should Never Skip

#5– Refrigerator bins

Ignore it, and next thing you know the tomatoes are conspiring with the lemons to kill the lettuce and take over the fridge.

#4– Garbage disposer

Disposal… disposer… poh-tay-toh… poh-tah-toh. No matter what you call it, that little contraption hides all sorts of gunk and can really stink up the house.

#3– Towels

Any towel used for the express purpose of drying, be it a body or a dish, will start to smell of stagnant pond water.

#2– Stove pans

You know how you start cooking and suddenly the delish dish smells of dead rodent? Yeah, that’s why.

#1- Commode

Y’all should know this would be #1. If you didn’t then you have issues, and should call Molly Maid™ ASAP.

And those are my tips for today. Remember, the floor can be crunchy or sticky, as long as A) it’s not from bones or blood, 2) people wear shoes, and iii) Legos are safely stored away.

Those suckers can pierce leather 😉


Thursday Never List

Some days ago, I was cooking dinner and manage to catch Little One in a mood to help. It doesn’t happen often, so when it does I take full advantage of it and basically turn her in the Sous Chef. The irony here is that she is my picky eater, and wasn’t going to eat dinner that night. Of course, that didn’t stop me from putting her to work. Anyway, I asked her to get the dill, and she brought me two jars.

LO: Here you go, Mom.

Me: We have two jars of dill? Both open??

LO: No, we have four.

Me: So why bring out two?

LO: One for each hand?

Me: *rolls eyes*

Apparently, we are fans of dill around here. And it got me to thinking about what else I have in my spice hoard. And what spices I just can’t do without.

spice jars2

#5– Pepper

All kinds. Except Jolokia. No joke.

#4– Oregano

I love it for most ethnic dishes, especially Puerto Rican ones.

#3– Thyme

The best part, aside the flavor, is hearing the mispronunciation.

#2– Paprika

Sweet or sharp, but especially sweet.

#1– Rosemary

Alone or in Herbs de Provence, the fragrance and flavor are sublime.

So there you have it: spices I can NOT do without. You may wonder why dill isn’t listed. Well, that’s because Eldest is responsible for that particular hoard. I’m only responsible for the jars, packets, and tins of Herbs de Provence and paprika.

All ten of them 😀


Thursday Never List

It’s College Bowl Time around here, and boy howdy, has it been fun!

The Aggies won, the Spartans won, the Raiders won (I will catch hades for this one), the Ducks won (and this one, too), so I’m a happy camper overall. Especially with the A&M- Duke game. But that’s my bias typing.

Anyway, one of the complaints heard from the Peanut Gallery was my lack of *ahem* hostess skills this time. When Draco was here visiting, I went out of my way to set out snacks and sandwiches for the guys while they watched football. Apparently my lack was noticed by some, since this time I decided to enjoy the games and let them fend for themselves. They weren’t raised by wolves, apparently.

Holysuperbowldeli-thumb-565x424

Things One Should Never Skimp on Football Days

#5– Pillows

You’ll be on the edge of your seat, so best to have some backside support.

#4– Ice

If you run out, you’ll get tasked to get some. Which means you’ll be missing the game.

#3– Throat lozenges

You’ll thank me for that. And avoid the cherry flavored ones. You’ll thank me for that, too.

#2– Snack foods

This goes without saying, I know.

#1– Painkillers

Because not every team wins, and “moderation” is not in your vocabulary during a game.

Anyway, I’m off to shop for tonight’s game. The last thing I need is more Peanut Gallery musings while screaming at the TV 🙂


Thursday Never List

Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year. Bar NONE!!

Unless you are a parent. Then it’s a double-edged sword.

Don’t get me wrong. I love seeing the kids’ faces when they open their gifts. It’s so sweet to see the surprise and hear the “SQUEEE!!”, no matter how big or small the gift. But we parents learn a lesson soon after the first couple of Christmases about gift giving for the kids. Obviously the gifts should be age appropriate. No one disputes that wisdom. But there are some gifts one should never give children. You are asking for trouble.

play doh drill and fillToys to Never Buy for Children

#5– Play Doh Dentist

Just the thought of hearing the whirr of that drill is enough to get people climbing the walls.

#4– Underwear

There are two outcomes from this gift: tears, or wearing on the head like a superhero mask. I’m not sure which is worse.

#3– Expensive or Heirloom Jewelry

You don’t want a kid using Grandma’s rosary as a helicopter rotor.

#2– Musical Instruments

An eight-year-old with a drum set. Enough said.

#1– Any Repetitive Noisemaker

I know that sounds vague, but one can include trains, whistles, popguns, and whoopie cushions in this category, to name a few. Eventually, your need for peace will outweigh any desire to make sure the child is happy, and will result in a Godzilla-like rampage.

I hope y’all had a wonderful Christmas in relative peace and harmony. If not, I hope your Godzilla imitation was caught on video 😉

Hat tip: roamingfirehydrant!!


Thursday Never List

Today got away from me, mostly because Hubby was travelling back from being out of town and I had to knuckle down and do some cleaning before the kids are out for the Christmas holiday. If I don’t do it now, it will never get done, and then all I will hear is complaining from the peanut gallery about it.

Been there, done that.

cleaning-fridge

Things One Should Never Put Off

#5– Root touch-ups

Seeing one inch dark roots on a blond head of hair is disconcerting, like they ran out of gas or something.

#4– Writing ‘Thank You’ cards

You’ll thank me for that.

#3– The ‘check engine’ light

Every minute you put it off is worth about $50 in damage, and $200 in labor.

#2- Cleaning out the fridge

At least once a week, unless you are lonely and want to have conversations with evolving life forms. Your mileage may vary.

#1– Family

No need to explain this one at all.

Anyway, I hope y’all have a great day afternoon evening. I’m on my way to serve myself a glass of wine. I’ve been putting that off for hours!! 😀


Thursday Never List

The past few nights I have had very little rest, so if this post makes no sense, I have an excuse this time.

It’s that time of the year again, when grown men quake in fear of potential death. No, not influenza. I’m talking about shopping for a Christmas gift for their significant others. Personally, I don’t envy y’all. I have met the enemy and she is us. I know we can be difficult to shop for, but there are some guidelines that can help y’all avoid pitfalls.

With the current weather, y’all do NOT want to be in the doghouse.

feel joy sweater lol

Thank goodness my name isn’t Joy.

Gifts to Avoid

#5– Electric knife

Seriously, you want to give her something to make dismembering you THAT much easier??

#4– Holiday themed clothing

It’s a nice sentiment, but she unwraps it the last day she can wear it and then has to put it away for eleven months until she can wear it again? That’s just torture. As a bonus, see the potential risk displayed in the photo above.

#3– Pets

As adorable as it would be, most people wish to pick out their own, just as pets like to pick out their humans.

#2– Housekeeping appliances

It’s ok to bring home a Roomba™ any time of the year while telling her that you think she needs time for herself. It is NOT ok to have it under the tree without explanation.

#1– Gym membership

If you do get this for her, at least be considerate and get a cemetery plot for yourself as well.

Remember, these are guidelines. Your significant other’s mileage may vary.

Mine does not 😉


Thursday Never List

So I skipped a week. It was THANKSGIVING!! I sincerely hope y’all enjoyed your holiday as much as I did. We had friends and family from near and far come to gather, and I wish I could do this at least once a week. As long as the kids do the dishes, anyway.

Anyway, today is Thursday, and it is time for another Never List™. Sometimes my lists don’t make any sense. Ok, most of the time. And this one is no different. But still, fun to do. Today finds me appreciating my accidental collection of vintage stuff. Some items have a history, and others do not. But all of them have a purpose, which makes them indispensable.

antiques1

Things You Should Never Throw Away

#5– Tupperware

Seriously, it lasts forever, and it’s very low maintenance. I have yet to stop using pieces I acquired back in 1985.

#4– Mason jars

There is no end to their uses. I started buying old ones because the blue matched my kitchen way back when I first got married. Imagine my shock at the prices for vintage mason jars today. And to think, they hold my thread spools and coffee. Not together though.

#3– Costume jewelry

Because everything old becomes new and more expensive all over again.

#2– Vinyl records

I think we have three moving boxes worth of records, from 78s to 45s and everything in between. And I still listen to them.

#1– Photographs

They always tell a story, even those whose voices have been lost. I even keep the ones I find in old frames I buy from the thrift store. I can’t bear to part with them, even if I have no idea who they are.

So here is your list of nevers for this week. With the possible exception of the turntable which is implied, y’all will notice no technological gizmos made my list. Why? Because they are evul 😉


Conversations With the Sheltie

She’s not technically my dog. But that doesn’t stop her from acting like it.

Every morning it’s the same conversation. I get up, and she jingles over to my door in expectation that her mistress will cater to her needs. I give her some kibble, and after she inhales it she runs over to the door and barks her command.

“YIP YIP, YIP!!!”

(Open the door, NOW!!)

Once she is done, she lets me know, again…

“YIP!!”

(I’m DONE!!)

Then she waits patiently for 7 AM. Why? Because Son’s friend comes over to pick him up.

“YIP!! YIP YIP YIP YIP!!! YIP YIP!!”

(OMG!! YOU’RE HERE!! YOU’RE HERE!! MOM, SHE’S HERE!!)

Then Hubby makes an entrance into the kitchen, and she shuts up. She knows better than to rile him early. But once he walks out to the car, she starts up again.

“YIP YIP YIP!! YIP YIP YIP!!”

(There is a person WALKING OUTSIDE!!!)

Whereupon she runs away from any perceived threat, yipping like she has new vocal chords. It’s a good thing the house quietens down after a while. I would hate to do impromptu surgery on a dog. 😀


Thursday Never List

As a rule, I am not one to buy into hype. Much. Sure, I see some gorgeous model trying to get you to buy mascara that will make your lashes visible from the moon, and I am so there. But that’s pretty much as far as I go. Ok, that and kitchen stuff. BUT THAT’S IT!!

For the most part, As Seen on TV stuff tends to go away faster than seem to stick around. Others tend to live in infamy.

sham wow

Things Never to Buy From TV

#5– My Secret Hair Enhancer Aerosol

Gentlemen, spraying a bald spot will only bring attention to it.

#4– Slim Away Body Wrap

Just FYI, Saran Wrap™ is way cheaper. So I hear.

#3– Perfect Pancake Pan

If you suffer from serious OCD issues, this is the pan for you. If you don’t, any regular pan will work.

#2– Perfect Polly Pet

If you don’t know, that is an animatronic parakeet. That’s really all you need to know.

#1– Pajama Jeans

No, just no.

Now, there are some fun things out in TV Pitchland that I admit I own. First up would be none other than the ShamWOW. That sucker has worked like a charm, and I don’t regret buying it for a minute.

Next up, a Chia Pet™ 😀


Never List, Better Late Than Never Edition

Sorry about dropping the ball yesterday. It was Halloween, and on top of that, had to spend the morning running errands across town. Oh, and it was Halloween. That means I was also busy finishing up my costume. Which was epic, by the way.

*begins making plans for next Halloween*

Anyway, our friend roamingfirehydrant sent me an email with a wonderfully awesome suggestion for a Never List. And when I say “wonderfully awesome”, I mean it.

rebecca black hate fridays

Songs You Never, Ever Want to Hear

#5– Friday, by Rebecca Black

This needs no explanation, as captioned above.

#4– Macarena, by Los del Rio

I have nothing against Spanish music, obviously. I do have something against stupid lyrics in any language.

#3– I’m Too Sexy, by Right Said Fred

Narcissistic AND annoying only works if you’re in politics.

#2– Achy Breaky Heart, by Billy Ray Cyrus

Not only was it a remake of someone else’s song, it brought mullets into fashion. That should be a felony.

#1– Don’t Worry, Be Happy, by Bobby McFerrin

I like the sentiment, don’t get me wrong. But you don’t need to reiterate it over and over again. That defeats the purpose, and makes me feel all stabby again.

Hope y’all enjoy your Friday, without the earworms 😉