A Little Rain Falling

I received word this afternoon that my uncle had passed away after a long illness. I cried a lot, I prayed a lot, and cried some more. He was a special man in many ways. He was a victim of a hit-and-run accident while he was helping someone stranded on the road. As a result, he was mentally handicapped (he never did like the “challenged” description, so there), but that never stopped him from living Life. And as I grieve, I am remembering how he grabbed Life by the horns, twisted its neck and threw it down yelling, “CHUPATELA!!!*”

Some of you may know of my credo of being happy every day. I’m not happy ALL day, mind you, but I do find something to be happy about every day. I learned that from him. He had a zest for life that made Zorba look like a piker. I remember once his sow lost a few piglets during birth. We were all sad, until he told us he “planted” them snout up, so the tree would grow and give us more piglets. I kid you not. And then there was the time when someone ask him to call them back, so he breathed in the word “hello” (because it was air going in, not out). Oh, and one time he decided that he wanted to sleep under the stars, so he got a photo of Marisol Malaret (the first Puertorican to win the Miss Universe title) and taped it to the ceiling. He was unstoppable.

He wasn’t perfect, but he was an inspiration to all of us. He is preceded by his oldest son, and I know they are both in Heaven, laughing at the rest of us who still have to wait to get to the party.

Because he was the party.

Te quiero mucho, Tio Papo. Esperame, que vengo con chismes y con ron de barrilitos 😀

* The equivalent of saying “SUCK IT!!” And the last sentence: I love you very much, Uncle Papo. Wait for me, because I’m coming with gossip and single barrel rum. 😀

Sunshine and Puppehs

I’m sorry I haven’t written lately. I am now a “band parent” and no longer in control of my destiny. Well, as a mom I’ve never been in control, but at least I was able to pretend most of the time. On top of that, I am still feeling lonely now that Eldest is gone. I shouldn’t whine since quite a few of my friends are in the same boat as I am, or went through the same thing she is going through. But lately I have found it more difficult to feel cheerful about anything. As usual, the social-site-with-faces keeps me entertained, but I can’t be a slave to it, no matter how attractive that can be. Internet meth is what I call it. I have been so mopey that Hubby offered to let me buy a Lolita™ wine glass, and I turned him down!!!

Yes, yes I did.

So, I am trying to cheer myself up. Eldest’s goods arrived yesterday, so she is adjusting as expected. And my friend Erin sent me a huge box of old Reader’s Digest™ condensed books for me, so there will be altering in my immediate future. I really SQUEE’ed when I opened the box. Of course, I have to find a place to store them, but that’s a small matter. I have an attic. And I think there is room under my bed. Maybe.

So for now I am cheering myself up with small things like taking walks and enjoying the sun and thanks to XBradTC, with lots of puppehs.

Yes, I SQUEE’ed again.

Anyway, time to go give my doggies a cuddle and maybe start folding some books. Or paint something. That’s always fun, as long as I don’t get paint or glue in my hair 🙂

On Being a Pollyanna

One of my favorite Disney films is Pollyanna. I love watching it, even at this stage in life. Hubby thinks it is too simplistic, but in its defense it is tailor-made for children. As usual, Disney deviated from the original story in order to give the impression of a happier ending. But the simple lessons override that.

Stop feeling sorry for yourself.

Mrs. Snow (Agnes Moorehead) plays a cantankerous hypochondriac with the belief that she is not long for this world, and is determined to make everyone around her as miserable as she feels. After many tries to make her feel better, Pollyanna explodes and informs her that she should be happy that so many people do care, instead of complaining about insignificant and surely non-existent maladies. Simply, no matter how bad things are, there is always someone who cares for you.

Don’t shut yourself from the world.

Mr. Pendergast (Adolphe Menjou) is a hermit. He wants nothing to do with humanity, and wishes to be left alone. When he catches Pollyanna and Jimmy skulking around his house, he tries to scare them away, only to find that by putting Jimmy to work, he finds a lonely soul to fit his. Simply, one is never truly alone in the world.

The Greater Good is neither great, nor good.

Aunt Polly (Jane Wyman) is the town paragon, her father having founded it. She thinks of herself as the pillar on which everyone should rely. She controls the town to honor her father, and refuses to let it change, thinking she knows best. SHE will pay for this, and SHE will pay for that, but in return people have to be grateful, and she also expects the town to adhere to her personal beliefs, which includes controlling the church itself. It takes Pollyanna’s accident to make her see what love and charity really are. Simply, one should do acts of kindness for others, not for oneself.

Always find a reason to be glad.

That was her jones. Pollyanna always looked for the good, or the best, or the happy in people, in places, in things. She had an awful dress, but was glad it wasn’t boy’s trousers. Her father had asked for a doll in the missionary barrels, but received a pair of crutches. She was glad she didn’t need them. Simply, there is always a silver lining.

Sometimes we are bogged down with unfortunate events, sad news, things that are out of our control. I used to be full of worry and angst over the minutiae of every day. Did a payment go through? Did I answer that email? Is the water filter working? One day my daughter (she was 8 years old at the time) asked me why I was always so unhappy. And then my husband asked why I was angry all the time. I hadn’t noticed how my state of mind affected everyone around me. And then I remembered this movie, and found a reason to be glad. Oh, I’m not happy all day. I’m Puerto Rican, after all. But I do find something to be happy about every day.

And that makes all the difference 🙂

I’m Not Old Enough For This

I am a bit freaked out today. Today marks a turning point in my life, and as much as I wished to be ready for it, I don’t think I am. No, nothing bad has happened. Everyone is in good health and accounted for. Also, I have my vehicle back so I am once again mobile, as in mom taxi. No, I am simply overwhelmed by the fact that today is my Eldest’s 19th birthday.

WHAT HAPPENED????

It was just a while ago that she was catching lizards and geckos outside. Wait, that was literally two or three days ago. But I still remember her coming to me and asking for a pony tail, and picking out her “on”*. I still remember her asking for her sippy cup. I remember going Easter egg hunting and finding ladybugs to catch instead. I remember her crawling into bed with us when she heard thunder. Now she runs outside to take photographs of rain clouds and lightning. It wasn’t too long ago that she was asking for my help in shopping. Now she drives herself and gets whatever she needs.

*sobbing uncontrollably*

I’m not old enough for this. She was the first to make me a mother, and the first to make her way into the world. Her path to adulthood has not been without mistakes, but she has learned from those pitfalls and in that she has shown a maturity that is beyond her years. My baby is growing up, and all I can do is kick her out of the nest encourage her to fly.

I’m not old enough for this. But I do have to accept it. I take comfort in the fact that I will always be her momma. She may think I am a fuddy duddy and don’t know what I’m talking about right now, but just wait. She will face up to my wisdom soon enough 😉

*An “on” is a pony tail holder or hair clip. When they were little, I would hold one up to the girls and ask, “Do you want this on?” They understood “on” to be the name of the item. And they do call them by that to this day 🙂

This Episode of Aggie’s Life is Badly Written

Today I had the misfortune of needing to go in for an ultrasound. The only instruction I received from the receptionist when I booked the appointment was to make sure to keep my bladder full and drink at least 20 oz. of water.

I want to take this time to thank my children for having trained my bladder so well.

It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. It used to be long ago, back in the Iron Age when I went to high school, the ultrasound transducers were not as sensitive as they are now. This is where I cheer for technology. The technician was very light-handed and the whole procedure was rather quick and mostly discomfort-free. Mostly.

Anyway, after that I went home to take Hubby’s car to be inspected. Hilarity ensued.

Mechanic: Hi, what can I do for you?

Me: Car inspection, please.

Mechanic: *looks it over* Looking good!

Me: *blinks*

Mechanic: Just kidding, just pull it over to the side.

Me: Oh, I get it.

Mechanic: Not enough coffee this morning?

Me: Let’s go with that, ok?

Mechanic: *snort*

Once again, I am in the itty bitty wait area, the sight infamous for the previous debacle. Anyway, I proceeded to wait, whiling away the time by entertaining a little toddler who was doodling in a “My Little Pony” coloring book. Soon enough the car was ready, so I paid and went out to get the car, when the mechanic came over and let me know he was impressed that the car was in such great condition. I told him thanks, and that it’s a result of her being Hubby’s baby. Instead of laughing, the mechanic nodded sagely and said “She sure is.” I don’t get this reaction when I take in the van or the SUV.

Finally, this afternoon I get to go back to the hospital to pick up Hubby, since we drove in together in one vehicle. This means I get to enjoy traffic in the rain. Then I get to cook dinner, which will be braised chicken. It will be braised in white wine, so I have that going for me.

I love to cook with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food 😉

It Seems to Be One of “Those” Days

We all have them. The day when nothing goes right, when everything you try to do seems to fail, when nothing you do is “good enough”. I and a few of my friends are having a rough day, feeling a bit down due to circumstances beyond apparent control. It’s on days like these that I bring out the heavy artillery.

Some of us are feeling the pain of loss, others are feeling ineffective, and perhaps some feel like they have failed in some way. Today is a bit rough for me, recalling the loss of people from long ago and from just this week. But memories always help to ease my heart. Even bad memories have their silver linings. I know that we can get bogged down on the bad. For me, the trick is to make fun of the bad, even if I just flip my finger and just say FIDO! Seems childish, but it works for me, very well and often!

Never forget, my friends: things can always be worse. And always remember, I’m just a social site and a few streets away 🙂

I Have No Time Except For Sithy

At least, it feel like it.

In my infinite knowledge, I scheduled two doctor appointments for myself this week, plus Son’s orthodontics appointment for tomorrow. My sister is hosting her weekly BBQ get-together on Thursday, which is also Honors Night at the Jr. High. My niece’s wedding rehearsal dinner is on Friday, and Saturday is the big to-do, scheduled for nine hours, because we are sure going to have a great time, people! But before then, I have to finish decorating a box for cards for the wedding gift table, and finish getting the girls dresses ready. And in between this, I have to keep going over to the bank to deliver about 1,296 documents so we can refinance the house. So while I run all over South Central Texas, take time to enjoy a Sithy.

After this week, I bet I will need something a bit…darker. Have a great day! 😉

One Small Blessing

Sometimes we get so entrenched in Life that we forget to live and appreciate it.

Last week someone decided to remind me. I received a postcard. It was unsigned with only a simple message:

Just a note to let you know someone is thinking of you ♥

That made me tear up. No, not because I thought it was a stalker warning me. That I can handle. I was overwhelmed that someone would take the time to do that for me. The last time I received an anonymous note like this was in seventh grade, after the Valentine’s Day “secret admirer” carnations had been handed out in class, and I was the only one to not receive any. I’m pretty sure that note came from my Earth Science teacher. Just as in seventh grade, the postcard was a lovely gesture and a comforting one. I can only hope to repay the kindness shown to me soon. But for now, I can only do this.

To whoever sent me the postcard, I will keep it always. It will remind me about my blessings, and also to pass that on to others 🙂

Two For Twenty

Today is a very special day. Hubby and I are celebrating our 20th anniversary.

Time has been kind to us. I would love to think I still look the same as I did waaaaaaaaaaaay back in 1985 when we met, but I am realistic enough to know the gray came with the children. He still looks pretty much the same as he did back then. Probably has a portrait hidden away somewhere. All I know is he looks distinguished, and I look gray and wrinkly.

But no matter. I earned those wrinkles from all the laughter he has given me. I earned the gray from all the worry from which he tried so hard to shield me. Sure, the kids had a hand in it, but they weren’t the ones in the line of fire. Unless I was the one doing the firing. Anyway, for twenty years we have been supporting each other, and though it hasn’t always been a 50-50 proposition, the rewards have been beyond anything I could have imagined. Sometimes smooth, and sometimes rocky, nevertheless it has been wonderful.

And I am so grateful for it.

Here’s to forty more, at least. But in reality we are shooting for at least 47, because we want to be around when Halley’s Comet shows up again. That may be a long shot, but we have the Solar Eclipse in 2017 to go see for our 23rd anniversary, so we have that going for us.

What can I say? We are geeks and proud of it 😀

What a Crock

This is just not happening. NOT. HAPPENING!!

It is freezing today by Texas standards, which means hot comfort food is a must. I don’t get the chance to make beef stew often, but today was the perfect day for it. Sleety, windy, gray, cold: just like winter should be. Not what I want in a winter, but nothing I can do about that except maybe place The Goron on my Voodoo List™.

Not saying I did, mind you.

Anyway, I go to do my kitchen prep: peel and dice potatoes, carrots, onions, brown stew beef cuts, and open the red wine. Yes, I cook with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food. I place all that heavenly goodness into the crock pot, plug it in and….. nothing.

NOTHING!!!

I am aghast. My crock pot is dead, y’all!!

I am at a loss. I love my crock pot. I use it at least once a week. After hyperventilating and walking around the kitchen island sobbing, I calmed down and decided to put it in the oven to cook, like a boss. Actually, like a boss that has a ton of cast iron dutch ovens. I’ll be danged if I let this setback ruin dinner. I mean, there is no way I am going out in this weather. Not even for a dinner out.

On the upside, Hubby has an idea of what to get me for Valentine’s Day 😉