I Miss John Hughes

Sometimes I miss being a teenager. Not often, but when I do, I get nostalgic for what defined my generation. No, I do NOT miss the mullets, or parachute pants, or the headbands, or the sleeveless t-shirts, or the skinny ties…well, ok, I do miss the skinny ties. They were rather cool. No, I miss the innocent angst that churned throughout our high school years. I miss the afterschool gossip in the hallways, the stinky bus rides, and even hanging out at the mall because it was Saturday night and there was no other place to go. Innocent angst that never really hurt anyone, stuff that you could cure with a calorie-fest and a Christian Slater flick. THAT is what I miss.

Now that I’m a mom, it’s tough to see my kids going through the same trials and tribulations. You know how things will turn out. You try to guide them, and warn them, and all you get is the same ol’ “You just don’t understand.” So, I do the next best thing.

I make them watch a John Hughes movie.

No one else understood teen angst as well as John Hughes did. NO ONE!!! I don’t care that they didn’t have cellphones or internet in the movies. Growing up is the same on the inside for every generation. In a small way, I’m glad I don’t have to experience teen heartbreak. But in a big way, I’m glad I know what it was like, and that at least my kids will listen to a movie, if not me.

After all, I was born a mom. What would I know about Life?? 😉

I Must Have Been a Compass in a Former Life

Yesterday, Eldest was in need of her social security card for work. I thought Hubby had it, so I told her to not fret, he would give it to her when he came home. You would think that such an important thing would be uppermost on her mind, but no. She played on her videogame and then showered and went to bed.

And then this morning I find a note asking that he get the card for her. GAH!!!

So this morning I ended up turning out all of my wallets, ashamed to find I own over a dozen, and at least managed to find Son’s and mine. But no luck on Eldest or Little One’s. So I did what anyone would do. I prayed to find them and asked:

If I were a social security card, where would I be??

I closed my eyes, and had a flashback to the tax office, and danged if I didn’t find them right where they were supposed to be all along: IN MY WALLET!!

In my defense, they were well hidden. But at least now everyone has their cards and I am no longer in charge of them. One less thing for me to worry about.

At least until such time as they ask for baptismal certificates. GAH!!! 😀

Pomp and Not Much Circumstance

Well, it’s final. Eldest has graduated from high school, and now the hard part begins.

The ceremony went without a hitch, and was very well co-ordinated. The speeches weren’t very long. The kids— well, the graduates didn’t fidget much, and for the most part, the young children in the audience behaved quite well. All in all, a very pleasant experience.

And now what?

She has plans, and will be working this summer as a guide and work her way up to canopy and high wire challenge expert. I have no idea what that is, but she’s excited about it. And then she goes off, into the wild blue yonder. And I am left wondering what the heck just happened!!

One down, and two to go. I just hope they will be easier to handle than this one was. 😀

When You Find The One

I dread that question. I know it’s coming, but I don’t want to hear it. To hear it means to answer it, and it won’t be easy.

When will I know if he or she is The One??

It’s a tough question to answer, isn’t it? On one hand, you want to tell them that HE (OR SHE) WILL NEVER BE GOOD ENOUGH FOR MY BABY!! Then again, part of you wants to make sure they find the happiness you did. I remember Eldest asking me a long time ago how I knew Hubby was the man for me. I told her a simplified story, but the truth is, he was the one that made me laugh at everything. That was how I knew. It took years for us to adapt to each other as one, but I knew.

I never asked my parents that question, probably because I was afraid of the answer! But it boils down to what he or she is willing to sacrifice for the other. Seeing the imperfections that make them perfect in the others’ eyes, and knowing that at the lowest point, they will help carry the burdens.

I can’t pick their soulmates. I can only guide them through that minefield. But if one day, my daughter texts her boyfriend about how bored she is in her History class, and ten minutes later he bursts into the room, screaming, “THERE’S A TROLL IN THE DUNGEON!! Thought you ought to know…” and pretends to faint in front of the class, I will let her know that he is a keeper 😉

Picking Battle Axes

Every day, it’s the same old story.

“Go wash the dishes!”

“Get in the shower!”

“Are you done with your homework??”

“It’s past your bedtime!”

Yes, they do have set chores, but seldom do they do them of their own accord. They don’t have a set time for bed, but if I am the one waking them up, then I sure as Hades don’t want to deal with slow cranky kidlets.

Last night, I finally had my epiphany: WHY DO I GO THROUGH THE TROUBLE??

Stick a fork, I’m done. I am not their social secretary, nor am I their daily reminder calendar. If they forget the dishes, I will gather them up and place them on their bed. If they forget laundry in the washer, I will take it out and let it mold on the floor. If they forget to put away food, they will enjoy it for breakfast. I’m too old and too grumpy to be chasing after that crap.

It’s my summer and I will be enjoying it, too!!

Channeling Alice Cooper

For the first time in like forever, I am looking forward to school ending and summer vacation. For most Stay-At-Home mothers, “summer” means “jail”. But honestly, this time it will be a reprieve from the almost constant deluge of school functions, meetings, concerts, and ROTC events. Don’t get me wrong. I enjoy being involved. But there is only ONE of me, ok?? It is extremely difficult to be everywhere at once with the Laws of Physics refusing to bend to my every need. Every. Single. Weekend. PEOPLE!! It would have been fine if only all three kids had their activities in the same frickin’ town. But no…. THAT would have been waaaaaaay too easy.

Only the best back-to-school ad EVAH!!

But even I know summer can be a pitfall. It can unravel faster than a cheetah ripping through the yarn aisle at JoAnn’s™. So, a few rules MUST be implemented, observed and enforced in order for Mommy to not escape inside a bottle not lose her mind.

RULE #1

The term “I’m bored!” is banned. If uttered, even in a whisper or under breath, the culprit will have earned five hours cleaning the outside windows with newspapers and vinegar. Yes, I am old school.

RULE #2

You are responsible for your own breakfast AND lunch during the weekdays. Asking me for it will earn you an extra set of chores, to include attic cleaning.

RULE #3

TV will be limited to only three hours per day (not counting evenings). This does include any videogaming. Breaking this rule will have earned the perpetrator three hours of outside activity. Pooper scooper may be involved.

RULE #4

The query, “Why?” is no longer valid. End of discussion.

RULE #5

Any schoolwork for the summer will be done the FIRST two weeks of summer vacation, and not the last 20 minutes of summer vacation. As an addendum, any schoolwork that requires math or physics is solely the responsibility of Daddy. Mommy was told there would be no math.

RULE #6

Music while doing chores or for the joy of it is fine, as long as it is within the accepted parameters: no screamo, no alternative, no techno pop. Also, it must be played at a level consistent with my ability to keep my sanity, so nothing above 1,200 decibels.

So far these are a few of the solid rules. I shall be printing these out and posting them on the refrigerator, as well as on each of their doors. And quite possibly the bathroom mirror. Obey these rules, and you don’t get hurt. It is that simple.

Disobey, and deal with your father 😉

Why I Never Bother With Plans

It’s Sunday. A day to relax and putter around and just enjoy before the craziness of the coming week takes hold. It’s a no brainer day, right? I mean, you can choose to do stuff, or choose to do nothing.

Such a simple, blessed day.

Why is it that I can never enjoy it??

Last week, a friend asked me to attend an acquaintance’s baby shower, to which I said yes. I figured it would be nice to hang out with gals bitching about motherhood talking about similar interests. Then my sister called to invite me to her anniversary BBQ. And in my family, you 1) celebrate milestones, and 2) never turn down BBQ. And…..both scheduled for roughly the same time. But I can manage to make an appearance at the shower and then attend my sister’s BBQ, right? So far, so good.

And now Little One wants to go dress shopping for her awards ceremony this week. Because hey, MOM IS NOT DOING ANYTHING TODAY!!

Fine…. FINE!!! We shall go shopping.

At least that’s something I do rather well 😀

Cinderella I’m Not

Nor do I wish to be. But sometimes out of necessity, I have to step out of her shoes.

Last evening Little One came up to me and asked to try on my sneakers. This is highly unusual for two reasons: 1) she does NOT like other people’s shoes, and 2) I have smaller feet. However, I complied and let her try them on. As she walked around, my spidey sense went off (a bit later than usual, because I was still enjoying my sandwich from Subway™). So I asked her why she needed  to try on my shoes.

Turns out she lost her gym shoes.

Monday.

But told me Tuesday evening, 20 minutes before the mall closed.

Not Monday after school, when I had time to take her to get new ones.

So that means I get to dress up to go grocery shopping instead of relying on sweats and sneakers. And by “dress up” I mean wear jeans and boots.

I live in the South, after all 😉

The Sniffle Diaries

Well, it seems as though this South Texas winter wants to screw with our heads, not with weather but with pollen and viruses. For the past two weeks, I’ve had sick kids get better, only to fall sick again when someone at school brings something new to share. Today I have Little One at home, laying on the couch watching cartoon after cartoon after cartoon. At first it was Spongebob, then Ponies, then Looney Tunes, now Zim.

My brain is mushy.

Oh, thank goodness! She just turned it to Phineas and Ferb.

Anyway, having a sick kid usually means catering to their every need. Unfortunately, my Little One refuses to take any medications. BUT, she wants me to cure her ills. So for her I rely on providing liquids, heating pad, and ice pack for her headache. And chocolate. That seems to restore her happy mood.

If only I had thought of that. An apple a day has NOTHING on chocolate pills 😉

Flighty

This morning found me in a grey world. Overcast and cooler outside, and slight drizzles, the kind that are light enough to stand in, but hell to drive in. And as usual, the people who freak out over condensed moisture were out and about making a nuisance for everyone. One lady had her hazards on and was driving ten miles under the speed limit. How do I know it was the drizzle and not car trouble that made her slow and cautious? Because she was hunched over the steering wheel, peering through the windshield like it was covered in mud.

We have a few of them around here. Rain is that unusual.

Anyway, as I was waiting at the stop light, I looked up, and saw the migratory grackles, all in rows.

I had to laugh, thinking of a much younger Eldest the first time she noticed them here in winter:

Eldest: Daddy, why are there still so many birds around? Don’t they fly south for the winter?

Hubby: Honey, they did. THIS is the south they fly to!

Eldest: Why not go to Mexico? It’s way warmer.

Me: Because there they are part of the food chain, honey.

Eldest: 😯

No, it’s true. I’ve partaken of pigeon and grackle stew before on my many visits there. Good stuff, too! No sense in being delicate about the Circle of Life™, you know. But really, I just wanted to freak her out.

I’m a mom. It’s my job 😉