Ghosts in the Machine

I swear my appliances are possessed. My dishwasher decides when to turn on, and IF she wants to leak. My microwave? Her light dims if I touch the door in a certain fashion. The filter in the refrigerator decides it needs changing one day, but not the next. The stove is the only thing that works in my kitchen without a glitch. The washing machine talks if she is…. agitated. And the vacuum cleaner? Let’s just call her Jaws.

At least I’m used to their little quirks and complaints. Where some people talk to their plants, I talk to my appliances. I soothe them before turning on a cycle, and I tell them they did a great job after they are done. I even buy the expensive cleaners for them, and make sure to keep them spic and span.

I’ve seen too many movies where they can turn on you for being an ingrate. I don’t want to take chances 😉

Things That Go Bump in the Night

Normally, I am a weighty sleeper. I don’t say “heavy”, because I can be roused with no problem. But I do tend to enjoy my REMs. However, with Hubby deployed, I can’t sleep well. I tend to stay up very late, and get up rather early. So you can imagine that any little noise will wake me up.

Last night, or rather early this morning, I was awakened by a constant rushing noise, like a tap had been left running. GAH!!! I got up, went to investigate, but everything was fine. Of course, then an unholy terror suffused my being: what if a pipe had burst?? With the house shifting it was a possibility in my sleep-deprived mind. So, like a moron, I went to get a towel and began to search for the burst pipe now flooding my walls. I started downstairs where I could hear the noise and ended upstairs where there was none, which was a relief. As I when downstairs I decided to check in the garage, where I found the culprit:

It was going through the rinse cycle….

It’s a good thing I didn’t have my gun on me. 😉

I Sheet You Not

Last night my back was bothering me quite a bit, letting me know it was time for me to stretch it out. The fact that it was 11 PM may have been a factor in that. I finally locked down and went to bed, and as I laid down I gave a sigh of contentment. I can pretty much sleep anywhere, as long as my lower back has some support, like from a small pillow, if need be. No, what made me sigh in contentment were my 600 count sateen sheets.

Ahhhhh!!!

Trust me when I say, there is nothing quite like the feel of high count sheets. (Ok, maybe there is, but this is a family friendly blog, so keep it to yourself!) A couple of weeks ago, I had put a set of sheets on my bed that I had purchased back in 2000 or so. I went to bed that night, and felt like sandpaper was scratching my skin. I got up, took them off, and put a high count sheet set on my bed, consigning that other set to the donation pile. From now on, nothing less than 450 count will ever grace the mattresses in this house.

Some people may think that’s a bit high maintenance, but trust me: it’s like sleeping on a cloud. Besides, I’m totally worth it! 😉

Lessons Learned

I’m not the best housewife, or cook, or parent. As most of us do, I learn as I go, and in 17 and a half years of marriage and parenthood, I have learned a few things:

1. There is a difference between baking powder and baking soda. This can mean the difference between muffins, and paperweights.
2. Never put dishwashing liquid in a dishwasher. Unless you also need to shampoo the carpet in the living room.
3. Bedroom doors are not made of solid wood. Any holes made by errant feet can be covered with a pretty kickplate.
4. The only good thing about Berber carpeting is its ability to keep dogs entertained as it unravels.
5. Spouses should never have similar looking razors. It can mean the difference between “baby smooth”, and “Leatherface”.
6. Buttermilk is not made by adding butter to milk.
7. Checking pockets prior to washing will not only save you from having to wipe down lipgloss in the dryer with cleaner, but can also net you a nice $20 tip.
8. Water resistant does not mean waterproof, especially when it comes to watches, and mp3 players holding hours of music that you paid for.
9. A child using a rake to clean up leaves outside is a Good Thing™. The same child using a rake to clean a room inside is not.
10. Ceiling fans are NOT propellers. Nor are they for swinging toys like superheroes.

I’m sure y’all have your own list. Mine seems to be unending 😉

When Patience Pays Off

I’m not a vain person by any stretch. Well, everyone has vanities. And so do I. But most people that know me know I am a very patient person. I really don’t mind waiting for something, as long as it’s not a life-or-death situation.

Then I would get hasty.

Anyway, back when we were at our first duty station (which was in Hawaii, and I regret not enjoying it as much as I should have, because I missed being away from family <–disclaimer for Hubby), I had wanted a set of dishes from Williams Sonoma. I love that store. Yes, it’s a bit pricey, but sometimes they have really good sales. Anyway, the dishes were from the Brasserie Collection, and had red bands on the rim. And they never went on sale…

Fast forward to September 13th, 2011. Hubby and I were looking for some champagne flutes for my mom at the outlet mall, which also has a Pottery Barn outlet, which is owned by Williams Sonoma. My mother-in-law also had asked that I look for a special saute pan there, so we went in, and guess what they had on clearance??

ZOMG!!! MY DISHES!!!

And I bought eight six-piece place settings, for the price of two four-piece place settings!!! Not bad for a 16 year wait, huh? They also had some beautiful water goblets that complimented them rather well, but I don’t think I’ll be waiting 16 years for those. I’ll just make do with regular, run-of-the-mill glasses.

For now 😉

Captain Obvious

Today it was TruGreen’s day to “treat” my lawn. Of course, I couldn’t water the back because the gentleman placed some Miracle Beans™ on the lawn. However, he did take the time to give me a scolding:

No kidding my front yard is under heat stress! All watering resources are being diverted to the sod!! I swear, sometimes pointing out the obvious is a fruitless endeavor with some people.

A Study in Contrasts

I was so lucky! I had the chance to speak to Hubby while he was on a tour of Egypt. Skype is not very dependable in *ahem* certain Middle Eastern countries. But he was very excited to have toured Karnak and Luxor and cruised the Nile River. This is where he is today:

And this is what I’ll be doing:

Sometimes, life can be so funny….

Does anyone know if napalm is good for mold??? 😉

General Sod

Most of you will miss the reference in that title. I love being obscure. Anyway, yesterday, our lawn guy came by and did some major work outside. He trimmed the tree out front, cutting down the heavy lower branches. I can finally walk under that tree, when before I had to practically crawl. The kids were not happy to have the tree’s limbs cut, since they liked to climb up and hide in it. And to that I said, tough cookie. He also put down some rich soil and some new sod in the back yard.

My back yard looked awful. It was all covered in hay, with some stray spots of dirt peeking through it. Hubby had transplanted some grass, and it had taken very well, but with the drought the yard looked like it was waiting for either a cow to or a pyromaniac to come strolling by. And the pyromaniac would have been an improvement, y’all. But behold the beauty that is sod!

Ignore the garden hose. I have to water the yard every evening from now on for the next three weeks. The water company is going to just adore me.  Oh well, all in the name of beauty, right?

The funny thing is, the dogs will only “go” on the new sod. Ok, it’s not very funny, but at least it’s easier to go clean up 😉

Kitchen Bling

I got my canisters a few days ago, but had not gotten around to displaying them. Why? Mostly because I was out of sugar and flour, and was NOT going to put them on the counter for display purposes only! So, after a run to the grocery store, I unpacked, washed and dried, and place dry goods inside my beloved canisters.

And yes, I do cluster them like this. Makes more sense to me than to line them up against the wall like they are about to be executed. In the back you have Coffee (with measuring spoon), Flour, and Sugar. In the front you have….. ok, I have no clue what to put in the short canister yet, but the mini one is for my French Sea Salt. That little pot goes by my stove, but I added it to the tableau for effect.

I’m an artiste that way 😉

Paradoxes

It has come to my attention that in life, there are some paradoxes that can’t be explained. Right now, one of them is bugging me no end:

Why is it that my Home Owners Association demands that we water our lawns and keep them green, but the city demands that we only water once a week, and for only an hour??

That’s not my lawn, but close enough. Thankfully, we had a nice day of rain yesterday. No deluge, but at least it was steady, and between that and watering my lawn on the sly, perhaps the backyard will be nice and pretty for Eldest’s party come Saturday. Oh, I do have a sprinkler system, but my water bill was astronomical, so now I have the wavy sprinkler and do hand watering when I remember to do it.

Sigh….