Be It Resolved

At last, 2013 comes to a close. Some who know me know this has been a very rough year. Overall there is no end to my blessings, though. Family, friends, near and far, all are always in mind and heart.

But there is one thing I find so annoying, that I tend to shirk every social post and comment about it.

NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS!!!

Don’t get me wrong. I do like to socialize and have fun and watch fireworks and ring in the New Year. Out with the old, in with the new, right? (Which reminds me: I need to go through my closet and downsize.) But every time January rolls around, everyone asks me the same thing: What’s your New Year’s resolution?? Why, WHY, WHY do I need to make any?

I like food. I like drink. I fit into my clothes. I love and take care of my family. I take care of my health. I call my folks. I keep in touch with friends. In short, I do everything that covers most resolutions, including staying out of jail, and carrying bail money for those who don’t. So no, I won’t be making any resolutions any more. I am better off correcting myself throughout the year than piling everything on at once.

Besides, there’s always Lent for that 😀

Good Tidings!

It’s Christmas Eve Eve!! And I am excited because I just LOVE to run around like a stormtrooper at a rebel firing range.

I have ONE MORE DAY to get everything organized and wrapped and shipped out and stuff cooked and baked and call people and go around the neighborhood dropping off goodies and packing and cleaning and dusting and clearing out empty boxes and making sure that Santa can find his way from the chimney to the tree with no dog obstacles.

But I wouldn’t change it for anything.

Except maybe to have someone else do the laundry. Maybe that.

So go tackle the day and smile, because that always makes you feel better, and makes people wonder what you have up your sleeve 😉

He Sees You. Enough Said.

I am almost done with the shopping and the cleaning and the decorating and the shipping. But I am getting tired of some asking what I got for so-and-so, or is that for me?? Honestly, I thought I was done with those questions once they got older, but apparently not.

So what can one do to prevent peekers from peeking under the Christmas tree?

That’s right. You trap Cthulhu in a jar and put him to work keeping pesky kids at bay.

You may wonder how I managed such a feat. Suffice it to say, I am Sith.

I would tell you, but then I would have to Sith you 😉

It’s HOW LONG Until Christmas???

You know, I was done with shopping.

And then the kids made their lists.

And now I am at a loss.

GAH!!!!!!!

I am lucky to have kids that are pretty low maintenance, though. One year, Son only wanted some tin of slime from ThinkGeek. Little One wanted a few manga books. Eldest is content with a sundial.

They may be odd, but still low maintenance.

As for me, I am happy to say I don’t need or want anything. I have enough pots, and now makeup, and Lord knows I got a ton of nail polish, so I’m pretty happy if I don’t get anything.

Not a darn thing.

Sigh….time to go look for a sextant or whatever is on the list this year.

Thursday Never List

The past few nights I have had very little rest, so if this post makes no sense, I have an excuse this time.

It’s that time of the year again, when grown men quake in fear of potential death. No, not influenza. I’m talking about shopping for a Christmas gift for their significant others. Personally, I don’t envy y’all. I have met the enemy and she is us. I know we can be difficult to shop for, but there are some guidelines that can help y’all avoid pitfalls.

With the current weather, y’all do NOT want to be in the doghouse.

Thank goodness my name isn’t Joy.

Gifts to Avoid

#5– Electric knife

Seriously, you want to give her something to make dismembering you THAT much easier??

#4– Holiday themed clothing

It’s a nice sentiment, but she unwraps it the last day she can wear it and then has to put it away for eleven months until she can wear it again? That’s just torture. As a bonus, see the potential risk displayed in the photo above.

#3– Pets

As adorable as it would be, most people wish to pick out their own, just as pets like to pick out their humans.

#2– Housekeeping appliances

It’s ok to bring home a Roomba™ any time of the year while telling her that you think she needs time for herself. It is NOT ok to have it under the tree without explanation.

#1– Gym membership

If you do get this for her, at least be considerate and get a cemetery plot for yourself as well.

Remember, these are guidelines. Your significant other’s mileage may vary.

Mine does not 😉

The Ides of November

Well, due to circumstances beyond his control, my friend Tiberius will be my guest for the remainder of his stay in our fair country. And by country, I mean Texas. And good thing, too. We had a great itinerary the last time he was with us.

And we completed it ALL.

That’s right. Even #10 was completed. And the chances of THAT one were infinitesimal. And I do mean itty bitty tiny.

So now we have to find other stuff to do.

• Vineyard tour and wine tasting: Scheduled.
• Glass bottom tour: Scheduled.
• Gun range: Scheduled.
• Riverwalk: Scheduled.
• Moar gun range: Scheduled.
• Birthday shenanigans: Scheduled.
• Cavern adventure tour: Scheduled.
• Anything else that comes up: Scheduled.
• Thanksgiving feast: Scheduled X2.

That’s right: we are having not one, but TWO Thanksgiving feasts. Why? Because we are blessed with so many friends and family and there ain’t no house that can contain such bounty. Anyway, time for me to get going. The tours won’t wait, and neither will we 😀

To Those Who Served

A profound and heartfelt thanks.

For my husband, and my brothers-in-law, my neighbors, and my friends.

And for my brother Draco, who never failed to call and thank all of those he knew.

We can never repay what you have sacrificed for your country.

Get On My Lawn!!

Some of y’all may know, I love flamingos. Every trip to the zoo begins with me taking a photo by my pink feathered friends. I must have dozens of photos, and all of them show my gradual deterioration maturity. Who knew Photoshop™ was relatively new?

Sad to say, I don’t have any flamingo lawn ornaments. My HOA frowns on kitsch, even though a guy down the street has a veritable concrete menagerie in his front lawn. But I guess concrete deer are more realistic around these parts than a flock of flamingos. Anyway, while perusing the social-site-with-faces, a friend posted the most awesome thing since Big Mouth Billy Bass:

ZOMBIE FLAMINGO

Behold the epicness!!

You can not imagine the SQUEES OF GLEE that emanated from me yesterday. Actually, they sounded more like something from a horror movie, but that’s more fitting anyway. There are several different styles, including this one, but I liked the ones above found here. Why? Because they have TEETH, which makes them even more ridiculous. And we always go for the ridiculous here.

This year I am definitely decorating my yard for Halloween. But I’m thinking these babies will be year-round 😉

Small Hiatus

This week I am hosting the Glorious Lemur King and his family, so I am not blogging as usual. But some of y’all may be wondering what we have done, so….

This is where we went:

AQUARENA SPRINGS

OBVIOUS….

And today we shall be going here:

NATURAL BRIDGE CAVERNS

And after that, we shall tour the Alamo and the Riverwalk.

And after that, we shall rest. Maybe. I’m a bit fuzzy right now.

Anyway, hope to be back here soon. I’m off to go gawk at the new electric smoker the Lemurs have been kind enough to gift us. Ta ta for now!! 😀

It Is Never too Late to Think About Halloween

Seriously, Halloween is just over 100 days away. I have to plan accordingly.

Each year, the kids’ costumes get more intricate. Last year, Eldest dressed as a weird, foul character from Skyrim™, complete with live snake for a necklace. Little One chose another character, and her cloak had stuffed crows attached to it.

Not real crows, mind you. I may be crafty, but I have never learned taxidermy.

This year the girls want to do something more subtle. Eldest may or may not participate, due to upcoming commitments, but Little One has plans…. big plans. And they involve cherry syrup and scar makeup. No, I have no idea if it’s for her, or a victim friend. Sometimes that child makes me afraid.

As for myself, I was all set to make an elaborate Steampunk costume. Until I realized that I would be handing out candy to a lot of kids and their parents who would have no idea what the heck Steampunk is. But not to worry. I have an excellent plan in mind. One that will probably get parents to ban my house from trick-or-treating next year. I’m not divulging what it is, but here’s a hint.

Only it will be black and tan. So you get two hints. And no, I am not going as Vader Princess, much as I would love to.

Maybe next year 😉