Thursday Never List

Baby, it’s cold outside.

We were blessed with winter again. Hail last night, sleet this morning, and ice on the roads. And do you see me complaining?? Nope. Not one bit. Why? Because I could be in Pennsylvania or Michigan. By the same logic, I could be in Australia and enjoying summer. Glass half empty or half full? It doesn’t matter as long as there’s more wine to fill it.

Anyway, the weather got me to thinking. Yes, sometimes the synapses fire off. Living in Texas, we tend to enjoy mild winters for the most part. But we do get our share of ice and sn*w. And that’s when we step into the Outer Limits™ because apparently three sn*wflakes can shut down the area. However, there are some steps we in the South can take to be ready for the unforeseen.

Winter Gear to Never Do Without

#5– Head covering

A hat, a scarf, anything that would keep your body heat from dissipating out through your head is necessary. Unless you like tears freezing on your cheeks. Then that’s ok.

#4– Ice scraper

Nothing worse than cracking your windshield while pouring hot water over the ice. Not good at all.

#3– Sand

In case of ice or slush, or kitty litter is good too. Also good for your enemies gas tanks. So I hear.

#2– Extra socks

Because you never know if that icy patch is solid.

#1– Blanket or throw

If ever you are stuck and need warmth, or for visiting your inlaws who think 45* F is breezy and healthy for you. You can never have too many throws. Ever.

Just a disclaimer: I am from Puerto Rico, and reside in Texas. I am more than sure EVERYONE north of the Mason-Dixon line has better advice, so please do chime in 🙂

Is This *Really* What You’re Looking For??

I was over at The Bloggess the other day, and as usual I ended up snorting coffee out through my nose while reading her blog. I must say some of the search terms people use to arrive at her site are…. intriguing. Out of curiosity, I looked up the search terms at Sithy, and I must say, there are some odd people out there.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that. At all.

Besides, there is coffee for that, right?

So here are some of the search terms for this past week:

I got my voodoo doll out — Look, I get it, but you really should keep that to yourself. I certainly don’t need the NSA knocking on my door for someone else’s voodoo. I got special brand of crazy without adding to it.

Nobody move I just cleaned the house — Why in the heck would you come to THIS blog for THAT?? As if!!

козы плавают в море — I’m at a loss here.

Squirrels with lightsabers — Never gets old.

Mmmm — Candy, food, drink…what??

Kilt exposed — If only!!

Hope y’all have a great Tuesday, and feel free to translate. But only is it’s family friendly 😉

Thursday Never List

ZOMG!!! My 20th TNL!!!

Not counting the ones bumped to Fridays due to laziness.

It’s hard coming up with Never Lists. Pretty soon I’ll run out of Nevers and sound like a Puritan. But on the plus side, there is a lot of stupid out there from which to choose, so I have that going for me.

(So, Hubby came home early and we decided to watch A Good day to Die Hard, and then my mom needed some stuff, and then dinnertime came, and went, and so I am just now getting back to this post. I suck at blogging, I know.)

Advice One Should Never Ignore

#5– Always have an umbrella

Yes, even in South Texas. Because the day you don’t have one is the day you are all dressed up for that date you have been planning for months, wearing your new silk dress, and that just-out-of-the-salon hair style. So I hear.

#4– Keep spare glasses in your nightstand

Last thing you need is to look for things you can’t see.

#3– Play more

Be active and enjoy life. There is nothing worse than being dead inside. Unless you’re a zombie, I guess.

#2– Find a happy place

You don’t have to be happy all day, but you should find something to be happy about every day.

#1– Never get involved in a land war in Asia

Seriously, remember Qin??

Anyway, I do hope y’all had a wonderful day and are relaxing now. If not, then I hope the non-relaxation is worth it 😀

Snowday, Texas Style

Today we are enjoying a snowday, that rarest of holidays here in South Texas.

By “snowday”, I mean there is ice on the ground and the vehicles are iced shut. And by “enjoying”, I mean the kids are testing my patience.

Snowdays down here are nothing compared to what Michiganders endure. I am sure they are laughing at us down here for shutting down schools and businesses, but the reality is we are not savvy drivers on icy roads. Heck, rain freaks us out. So better safe at home than sorry wrapped around a light pole.

Of course, Michiganders would probably melt down here in the spring, so we have that going for us.

But I am ready for Winter to go away.

Soooooooo done with winter. I want to feel the sun as it turns the asphalt into a mushy mess. I want to see flowers bloom in the adversity that is a Texas summer. I want to see water boil off the sidewalk. I’m getting nostalgic just thinking about it. If we humans could hibernate, I wouldn’t have such an issue with the cold. Or with shaving my legs.

Anyway, I hope that wherever you are, you are keeping warm and safe, and stabbing winter in the head 😉

Shredded

That’s how I feel.

Apparently we are in a record-breaking season for pollen. And this year is when my body decided I have allergies to pollen.

Yay….me….

This wouldn’t be so bad if they were Midichlorians.

Anyway, I figured y’all could enjoy an obscure Sithy.

That is so full of win, I can’t contain myself.

Ok, time for more medication. And by “medication”, I mean coffee. Hope y’all enjoy your day 🙂

Mamma Mia

My mom is coming for a visit this weekend. And y’all know what that means.

WHERE ARE THOSE FOREST CREATURES WHEN I NEED THEM???

(I started writing this this morning and then a friend came by for a visit, so I took time to bend her ear as far back as Canada. We now resume the post. Don’t complain about your free entertainment.)

Anyway, I have made a list of the stuff I wish to accomplish before she gets here. Keep in mind this list does not include mundane chores like scrubbing bathrooms or cleaning out the fridge.

• Paint small chest of drawers in silver.
• Reorganize the Christmas decorations.
• Clean out the bathroom cabinets.
• Finish hanging my artwork, so-called.
• Put away “excess” wine glasses. Notice the quotation marks.
• Get car registered.
• Hide all my Legos.

She’s actually very cool about my housekeeping, so-called. Which is nice, because if she wants to clean or fix something, she just does it while cooking. Did I mention cooking? Yes…yes, I did. And you know what’s great about it? The fact that I can gorge on her fabulous cooking and not care because she is coming waaaaaay before Lent. I’m so lucky I have sweat pants and loose shirts.

That’s how I measure happiness 😀

I Need a Tauntaun

Wholly carp is it cold out.

I wasn’t going to write about the weather, because everyone is writing or talking about it. I mean, it’s obviously THERE to discuss, right? Still, it sure put a crimp on the week. I’m just glad it wasn’t bad enough to close the schools. I don’t think we could have handled that very well. Scratch that. I know we wouldn’t have.

I would settle for lukewarm right now. I would also settle for Mark Hamill, but that’s not for a family-friendly blog. Anyway, this cold weather means I get to bake a lot, because using the oven is a great way to suffuse the living area with heat. Also, cookies and cake FTW!! (I would make a pie, but the apples all got eaten). So think of tropical islands and jalapeños to keep warm.

It could be worse. You could be in Canada 😉

Sunday Sithy

Things are hectic in most households this weekend. But for some, it is still the daily grind.

You go to work for a hard taskmaster. If you’re lucky, you don’t get force choked to death.

You come home to do your chores.

You do some holiday baking to put you in the holiday mood. Dark chocolate, of course.

You check your social media, in case one of your friends’ lack of faith was found to be…. disturbing.

And after a long day, you put on your black tiara and go soak your troubles away.

Have a wonderful and quiet Sunday, my friends 😉

He Sees You. Enough Said.

I am almost done with the shopping and the cleaning and the decorating and the shipping. But I am getting tired of some asking what I got for so-and-so, or is that for me?? Honestly, I thought I was done with those questions once they got older, but apparently not.

So what can one do to prevent peekers from peeking under the Christmas tree?

That’s right. You trap Cthulhu in a jar and put him to work keeping pesky kids at bay.

You may wonder how I managed such a feat. Suffice it to say, I am Sith.

I would tell you, but then I would have to Sith you 😉

Thursday Never List for Friday

Running late, because the White Rabbit is off smoking a hooka or something.

And by that I mean I had to pick up Tiberius from the airport and clean house beforehand. At least I cleaned the kids’ bathroom.

So here’s a list of random Nevers for y’all.

Random Never List

#5– Never Go Anywhere Without ID

I cannot stress the importance of this. Especially in Bangkok.

#4– Never Pass Up the Opportunity to Dance

There is no such thing as a bad dancer when you are enjoying yourself, Elaine.

#3– Never Give Up Your Principles

They are worth far more to you than to others.

#2– Never Confuse Kindness With Flattery

The results can be bad. Really bad.

#1– Never, Ever Pass Up a Good Thing

*SMOOOCH*

Hope y’all have a wonderful Friday 😉