At Least It’s Not Tuesday the 17th

And Bianca’s not toast*.

I’m not a superstitious gal. Ok, I’m just a little stitious*. I like black cats, walk under ladders, have broken enough mirrors to have supposed “bad luck” until the year 59,326 AD, spill salt all over the kitchen, and open umbrellas indoors in order to make sure they work before I step into rain.

Who wants to be caught in a downpour with a broken umbrella?

Apparently there is a convergence of Cosmic Karma™ this evening. Not only is it Friday the 13th, but there will be a full moon as well. That means we will be going outside with my awesome Celestron™ telescope to watch the moon.

M-O-O-N!! That spells “moon”*.

I hope y’all enjoy the evening, and if you see any werewolves, send them to Trader Vic’s* 😉

*Leave a comment if you get the references!

Lovin’ Touchin’ Squeezin’ the Pompitus of Love

Last night we enjoyed attending the Journey/ Steve Miller Band concert. And by “enjoyed”, I mean I went insane.

It all started with one of Eldest’s good friends asking if we wanted to buy tickets her parents had. Turned out these tickets were for the private box seats. This was the view above my seat.

I know, I know… haters will hate. Tower of Power opened, followed by The Steve Miller Band, and ending with Journey. I must say Mr. Miller still looks like a badass in his shades. Watching him took me back to those first years here in the US, when I first heard of this “Rock and Roll” stuff. As iconic as it was to see those majestic Pegasuses flanking the band, it was nothing compared to their Jet Airliner backdrop. It was classic 70’s styling, in a Peter Max kind of way.

And then it was Journey, and that took me back to high school and made me reminisce on my friends and good times. I admit, Jonathan Cain is still totally drool-worthy, even with the sideburns. What I wouldn’t give to starch the handkerchiefs he uses to wipe his brow. Yes, Neil Schon was there, but he’s not my type. And I can honestly say a certain former member was NOT missed, if you know what I mean. It was an awesome five and a half hours of wonderful music, and I can honestly say this was beyond the scope of any concert I have ever attended. I even got myself a souvenir!

Tickets to see icons: $$$

T-shirt souvenir: $$

Opportunity to act like a fangurl in front of total strangers and not caring: PRICELESS!!!!

But I still don’t know what the Pompitus of Love is 😉

Dishing Out

Last week I was once again at the thrift store, where they know me by sight. And name. First name. Anyway, I was on the lookout for some dishes for my niece. She moved out and is in need of “matching dishes”, because she has a Jones about that sort of thing. She can’t afford much, so I offered to be on the lookout for them at my usual haunt. As always, the store did not disappoint.

I found a nice set of dishes, dinner and salad plates only, and figured that would be enough. They looked a bit opaly, but sturdy, and for $3 the set I couldn’t go wrong. Until I took them home and washed them.

VINTAGE ARCOPAL DISHES!!!!!

So now I am in a huge quandary. I love, LOVE, LOVE vintage stuff. I have vintage Pyrex™ and Anchor Hocking™ and Hazel Atlas™ and Fire King™ and just can’t bring myself to give these up. But neither can I justify yet another set of dishes into the kitchen. Seriously, I am at full capacity. Everywhere you look I have a set of dishes: Polish pottery, Brasserie™, Longaberger™, Gorham™, Lenox™, Wedgwood™, Franciscan™….. Oh, and my mom is bringing me my grandmother’s bakelite from Puerto Rico.

CRAP!!!!

Something’s gotta give, and I get the feeling it will be the Franciscan, since none of the kids like the flower pattern. As for my niece, I bet she would prefer a new set of dishes anyway. That is what I will tell myself to lessen the guilt 😉

What I Learned at Awards Night

Last evening Little One’s school held their annual Honors Night. Usually this means giving out the best-students-in-this-class awards, athletic awards, organization awards, perfect attendance, and honor roll. I will not disparage any award given, but I do question why perfect attendance is so over-rated. Any kid that misses a day has to make up the classes anyway. And those who come to school ill because they don’t want a miss a day tend to spread disease so others get to miss school. Seems like a viscous cycle to me.

Anyway, as tedious as these things are, we always manage to entertain ourselves the Simon and Garfunkel way. How’s that, you may ask? Well, here are the lyrics to their song, America:

Laughing on the bus
Playing games with the faces
She said the man in the gabardine suit was a spy
I said “Be careful his bow tie is really a camera”

That’s correct: we make a game trying to guess who people are and what they do. It’s fun and keeps us busy during the breaks. But playing that game makes us pretty aware of what other people are doing. So here’s a list of things I learned not to do in large crowded areas.

1. Don’t take a selfie if you are sitting in front of my husband. He is very good at photobombing, and he is even better at embarrassing you.
2. If you and your friends are going to cheer for an honoree, make sure you synchronize yourselves. Otherwise it sounds completely garbled and the honoree will think you hate them, causing a major drama to unfold after the ceremony.
3. If you and your friends are going to boo someone as a joke, be prepared for a certain mom to come speak to you about it. Also, be prepared to have that certain mom make sure to embarrass you in front of the rest of your group by pointing out your ridiculous underwear sticking out of your dropped pants.
4. When going up to accept an award, do not jockey for position. It makes you look like a photo hound at best, and a rude kid at worst.
5. When taking photos of your awards student, please be considerate of the rest of humanity in that auditorium and do not place your late model iPad15™ in front of others. Get up and go up to the stage to take the photo.

So, that is some of the fun stuff I learned last evening. I also learned that some gal was going out with some guy who thought another gal was crushing on him, but since he wasn’t sure, he decided to stay with the first gal because it was good for his school standing and he didn’t want to risk losing the street cred in case the other gal wasn’t really crushing on him.

Man, am I glad I’m not in school 😀

Stupid Aggie Tricks

Today I was perusing the social-site-with-faces for news and sundry, when I noticed my friend PajamaMomma‘s status:

Running late…..washed my hair in the sink with dish soap. I hope I don’t get “dish pan” hair.

And that got me to thinking of all the stupid things I have done simply because I saw them on TV. I’m not saying PJM’s hair washing was stupid. I consider it sheer genius. It just so happens that her status post triggered a memory avalanche.

I hate it when that happens.

#1– I have tried and enjoyed milk with Pepsi™.

On a dare at the college cafeteria, this n00b took on a member of the elite baseball team (Chris Knoblauch, if you must know) and drank a glass of milk with ghastly Pepsi. It is the only way I will drink either.

#2– Soaked my fingernails in Palmolive™ dishwashing liquid.

To this day I don’t know why doing that was a Good Thing™. All I got out of it was clean cuticles.

#3– Wrote my name using Era™ liquid detergent, on a grass stain that I incurred on my jeans while doing something no doubt stupid.

Yeah, you have to actually LET IT SET for hours before you see any change. I wasted half a container and incurred motherly wrath.

#4– Washed my hair with Ajax™.

Obviously, I learned a lot from Laverne and Shirley. Also, Ajax™ strips your hair of oils and residue pretty well. Do not do this more than once a month, though.

#5– Carried Certs™ around just in case I had a “Certs encounter.”

The closest I had to a “Certs encounter” was years ago, in the wine section of the supermarket, and the gentleman was in his late 70’s. Neither one of us had Certs™. Thank goodness.

These are just a few of my…. fails, I suppose. I am sure I am not alone. At least PJM has done her share. So I have that going for me 😀

Brace Yourselves….

….because Easter is coming!!!

Not that you could tell with the weather. Apparently, Winter wants to enjoy Summer just as much as we do. But no matter. Soon enough we will be enjoying warmer weather and complaining about that, too.

One thing that Winter can’t stop is the coming of Easter and that means THE END OF LENT!! And you had better believe I am ready for it.

Very ready….

That’s for the brunch after church service. Mimosas will look AWESOME served in such glamour! And for the afternoon, a special gift from my dad. No clue what he is trying to tell me, though.

Nope, not a clue. But it is handy. After a while, you just don’t want to mess with glass while drinking. So I hear. Anyway, a cold front has decided to come visit us, so I’m off to get groceries for the coming Apocalypse Week. We hit 40* F here and go on a wild buying binge for the probable end. We do freaking out well. It’s almost an art around here.

Hope y’all stay warm and cozy and have plenty of milk and eggs and bread 🙂

Thursday Never List

The other day I was grocery shopping when a gent asked my opinion on wine.

I was in the baking section.

I simply shrugged it off as just a passing thing, until he asked me what I  prefer to drink when on a date. I told him that HUBBY AND I prefer to drink whisky. He scooted off with a murmured “thank you ma’am”. Later, while at the check-out line, another gent asked if I was making Caprese salad for dinner (I had tomatoes, basil, and mozzarella cheese), to which I replied in the affirmative. He then goes on to exclaim how much he LOVES it and how he prepares it, and then offers to teach me his method of Caprese salad making. I seriously thought I was in the Twilight Zone. No one but acquaintances and friends and the cashier ever speak to me, and here were two men who were giving me grocery pick up lines?? And then I figured out why:

Yep, THAT is the shirt I was wearing. Men are simple, I guess. But that got me to thinking about truly horrible pick up lines. And honestly I drew a major blank, so I had to ask Hubby and other male friends. And the results were awesome!

Pick Up Lines to Never Use

#5– You’re so hot, you’re melting the elastic in my underwear.

After hearing that, I would pray for spontaneous combustion.

#4– Do you believe in love at first sight?

In a smoky bar with a disco ball and lasers and spotlights? If you do, you may need LSD to make things normal.

#3– You are beautiful. I am ugly. Let’s have average children.

I give this one marks for honesty.

#2– Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?

If an angel falls from Heaven, they are now serving in Hell. So you basically called her Satan’s minion.

#1- If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?

It only works for the Bellamy Brothers.

So that’s the list for this week. Hope y’all never have to hear any of these at the grocery store 😉

How to Have a Spa Experience at Home

Some of y’all know, I am a fan of bubble baths. So I thought I would take the opportunity of sharing my tips for a successful spa day at home.

First, make sure no one is about to run the dishwasher or the washing machine. Cold water is not your friend. Unless it’s 113* F outside, and only if the cold water has fermented hops in it.

Second, choose the aromatherapy. You can opt for bubble bath, bath oil, candles, whatever makes you feel happy. Be advised that bubbles hinder you when reading, oil makes the tub slippery, and candles can be hazardous to long hair. All three together is only going to end in tears and fried hair.

Third, secure the premises. Sure, locking the front and back doors is fine, but I am talking about securing the bath from pets and kidlets. Nothing more distracting than having to fight your sheltie for bathtub acreage while a kid is asking to help bathe the four-legged sister.

Fourth, keep your robe and towel handy. Nothing worse than taking a hot bath while slathered in a facial mask, only to find that your towel is nowhere near, and your eyes are shut from the sweat having melted the mask down your eyebrows, making you trip out of the tub and faceplant on the carpet.

Fifth, and most important, do not take a single glass of wine into the tub. Bring the bottle. You will find that time really does stand still and there is only so much reading of a crappy novel before you want to drown away the bad taste of some idiotic damsel in distress over a broken nail. Bonus: it helps drown out loud pets, loud kidlets, and loud hubby.

I hope these tips help y’all to have a nice relaxing spa experience at home. If all else fails, you still have the wine 😉

Thursday Never List

Wow, look at this! Three posts in a row!! WHOO HOO!!

Yesterday, I was in a conversation with blog friend Tiberius over at the social-site-with-faces, complaining about how I never finish folding my laundry because I hate, hate, HATE folding underwear and socks. I despise it with every fiber of my being.

Tiberius: Caught up on all the washing backlog?

Me: Ugh, sorta.

Tiberius: What happened?

Me: One load left to fold and I hate doing socks and underwear.

Tiberius: You don’t fold socks and underwear do you?

Me: I do!

Tiberius: Why??

Me: ………………………..

My mom trained us to fold everything. Heck, she even ironed my dad’s boxers. She was militant about folding things correctly. And by “correctly”, I mean “her way”. Yes, even fitted sheets.

Things One Should Never Bother Folding

#5– Hosiery

Socks, pantyhose, stockings… as long as you pair them, you’re good to go. Unless your sock drawer looks like former President Bush 41’s colorful array. Then you shouldn’t even bother with pairing them.

#4– Placemats

I understand folding napkins, but placemats??

#3– Long-sleeved T-shirts

Sure, short sleeve T-shirts are easy to fold if you choose to fold them. But long sleeved? I feel like I’m constructing an accordion.

#2– Undies

Disclosure: I do. But I was kind enough to tell my kids they could just lay them out flat, or throw them in the drawers as long as they did their laundry, and they were clean. You have to pick your battles.

#1– Fitted sheets

Sigh…. I know how to fold a fitted sheet. My mother taught me, and I learned the Martha Stewart way, as well. But what is the point?? Even if you wad it up into a ball, you end up stretching it over the mattress and that takes care of all the wrinkles! GAH!!

So that’s my Never List for today. To fold or not to fold, that’s not the question. The question is, what to do with the extra time?? 😉

Book List Challenge

A few days ago, our blogger friend Nicole posted her list of personal book likings and dislikings. She took her cue from Lynn over at Violins and Starships, which should win best blog name on the interwebs. Anyway, reading books is something I love to do. I also love to make art out of them, but that’s for another blog.

1. Your favorite book: Soooooo difficult, but I really can’t pick just one.

2. Your least favorite book: In the last decade, that would be The Da Vinci Code. I wanted to throw it away by the end of the second chapter.

3. A book that completely surprised you (bad or good): Hm…. I would have to say I didn’t expect to like The Giver, by Lois Lowry. I read it since Eldest was assigned the book for school, and found it well-written, even for adults.

4. A book that reminds you of home: Postal de Tierra Adentro (Postcard from the Inner Land), by C. O. Padilla. Literally, a book about my hometown.

5. A non-fiction book that you actually enjoyed: The Monuments Men, by Robert Edsel.

6. A book that makes you cry: A Knight in Shining Armor, by Jude Deveraux. Yes, it’s a romance novel. But I found the concept of souls meeting again, instead of bodies, to be enchanting.

7. A book that’s hard to read: Ulysses, by James Joyce. GAH!!

8. An unpopular book you believe should be a bestseller: I don’t really know of any.

9. A book you’ve read more than once: All of them, except Pet Sematary.

10. The first novel you remember reading: The Secret of the Old Clock, by Carolyn Keene. Yes, Nancy Drew was my portal into the world of reading.