Snap Like a Twig

There are days that I feel it coming on. The need to just… SNAP!! Of course, when I do feel the need to do so, my only targets are the dogs, and all they get to hear is “Blah, blah, blah!! Blah, Lenny, blah!!” Seriously, they just end up looking at me like I’m in need of Xanax™ or a swig of Moscato. They are very judgmental. Lucky for the family, the need goes away in the afternoon, so they don’t have to deal with it. Much.

And with the cacophony this morning, I may have need of my BRAND NEW SWITCHBLADE!!!

What can I say? Hubby knows me well 😉

Saturday Stuff

I’m at the inlaws this weekend. FINALLY delivering Christmas presents. STOP JUDGING ME!!!

And when I return, I shall be enjoying a few episodes of The Walking Dead.

I’ll have to enjoy them as I unpack Hubby’s stuff from Egypt, and doing laundry and ironing his uniform. But hey, I am great at multitasking!!

Enjoy the weekend!!! 😀

Dulcet Sounds

Ok, full disclosure here: I am the big snorer in our house. It was inherited from my father, who inherited it from his mother, who snored so loud when Hubby and I were staying at her house that we opted to close the windows and suffocate rather than hear the cacophony.

Last night, however, was different. Hubby was very tired, and had imbibed after dinner, which was fabulous, by the way!! The dinner, I mean. I’m sure the Maker’s Mark is fabulous, too. Anyway, we went to bed, and not two minutes later, he was snoring. I woke him, and he stopped, and then began again. After the third time, I had to speak up.

Me: Honey, you are snoring.

Him: No, I’m not. That’s you.

Me: I’m not snoring. I’m not even asleep! I’m still praying.

Him: Ok, I will stop.

Fine, he did stop, but something told me it was just the eye of the storm. I continued my prayers, when suddenly he snored so loud he scared the living hell out of me.

Which I guess is a good thing while one is praying.

Me: HONEY!!!

Him: Huh, what?

Me: You snored so loud you scared me!

Him: That was you. I’ve been awake.

Me: …..

Me: I have been awake. YOU were snoring, and it was very loud.

Him: No, I was awake, and about to nudge you on your side.

Me: (fuming) Fine! Go to slee—

Him: (snoring again)

But the funniest part happened this morning. He came into the kitchen, telling me he fell asleep before I came to bed, and slept so well he didn’t wake up but a couple of times. I was speechless, but made up for it quickly. I told him what happened, and at first he was rather surprised, but then told me that I shouldn’t worry, since he and his twin could have conversations while they were asleep.

I can’t wait to hear what he says in his sleep around my birthday 😉

All in the Family

This weekend was like a whirlwind. We arrived a little late after dealing with hellacious traffic on the way up yonder East Texas. But better later than never. We had a great time catching up with relatives, and as always, enjoyed adding names to the HUGE genealogy chart.

The tragedy: I forgot to take the lemonade, and its additives.

Sometimes my mind is like a sieve. Especially when trying to get your eldest kid out the door on time.

So, I made do with Dr Pepper, and pie, and cookies, and more pie. Then Hubby’s cousins got the wonderful idea to go to the lake for a while. A bit of fishin’, a bit of tall tales, and a lot of family. Usually I tend to skip that part of the visit, mostly because my sisters-in-law tend to stay behind and that gives us a chance to visit, but this time none of them were able to make it, so I went to the lake with the kids and the cousins and one very big uncle. And then, my salvation:

You see that percentage number??? Yes, it took me an hour to drink one. ONE. HOUR. By then, my distaff cousins-in-law were well into their thirds. And thus, hilarity ensued.

All in all, it was a great weekend. We missed most of Hubby’s immediate family, but hopefully that will be remedied the following weekend.

Provided I don’t forget my lemonade again 😉

Family Ties

This weekend we shall be travelling to Hubby’s family reunion. We always get excited about it, because so many people show up, and it’s always fun to catch up on news, as well as see the new additions and witness the many re-tellings of family histories.

It’s also the best time to wager who will wig out first. “Crazy” is a relative term in our family.

Every year, we are asked to bring something for consumption for the masses. Travelling for four hours makes it tricky, so I can never bring any hot foods. Most of the time I bring dessert, but so do most people coming in from out-of-town. So, this year I shall bring some of this, and some Solo© Cups.

I know it will be gone in 60 seconds.

But no worries. I will be designated driver, just so I can write down all the delish gossip for Sithy. There will be plenty, I’m sure. When you have Bible thumpers and Wiccans in the same venue, hilarity will ensue 😉

Happy Father’s Day!!

Y’all may not get the hype Moms do, but you deserve that and much more!!!

Still, it doesn’t mean I can’t poke fun 😉

Hope y’all have a wonderful day, and make sure to treat the dads like the Sith Emperors they wish to be!!

Monday Random

That’s basically my excuse for not having a coherent post.

Son left for his ROTC Leadership training today, so the house is very quiet. Not because he is a loud kid, though his voice is deep and does carry. No, the house is quiet because there are no explosions, or gunshots, or aircraft, or HUT HUT HUT, or anything remotely resembling warfare coming from the game console upstairs.

Eldest went in with her dad to work today. That usually means she will either A) do grossing* in the Lab, 2) assist in an autopsy, or iii) begin learning phlebotomy.  I’m thinking it will be #2. Last time she assisted at an autopsy, she ended up teaching the resident how to gross a specimen.

Little One has once again commandeered the remote control to the family TV. Her choice of venue this morning? Game Show Network, while she waits for The Alfred Hitchcock Marathon. She hopes to see The Birds while I clean the bathroom. She knows I do NOT wish to see that film ever again, and has kindly told me when it will be on, so I can avoid it. She can be very considerate in that regard. Sometimes.

As for me, after the gutting of the kids’ bathroom, I shall be vacuuming my room and bath. I took the Wahl™ to both Hubby and Son’s heads, so there is hair everywhere.

Ok, I am not exactly innocent when it comes to hair strands all over the place. I do admit to shedding like a Pomeranian. But this time the fault is theirs.

Hope y’all have a great Monday, and don’t forget to every Monday, there is a Friday. No, I’m not sure what I mean by that, either 😉

* the study of tissue changes without magnification by a microscope. Basically you slice the tissue very thinly, apply a dye, and then look at the specimen. FUN!!!

Shopping for Daddy

In one phrase: it’s hell.

My dad is happy with a gift card to Barnes and Noble™. DONE!!! My father-in-law? Cooking stuff. DONE!! But Hubby? He doesn’t want anything. He has stacks of gifts still in boxes for which he has no use. One year, I gave him a miniature Stonehenge for his desk. It’s in a drawer, along with the Leonardo Da Vinci 3D Vitruvian Man. Oh, and yesterday I found his stash of plush microbes.

Yes, he has some of those. He is a pathologist, after all!

It’s sweet that he always tells us he doesn’t want anything, but it’s difficult to make Father’s Day special for him. This summer he was invited to return to Hungary to a medical school there, and I’m seriously thinking of packing him up and screaming “HAPPY FATHER’S DAY!!!” as he passes through TSA checkpoints. It would be a lot simpler!!

What are y’all’s plans for the dads in your life?

School is Cool

Last night, Hubby and I decided to talk to our kids about college, trying to figure out what they want to study, and if they wish to attend, and when. It’s an expense that must be measured and obviously one that cannot be taken lightly. The last thing I need is for a kid to major in Eighteenth Century Estonian Basketweaving.

Anyway, the talk turned to what they enjoy doing, and I was trying to make a point of them figuring out what things and activities have kept them interested for years. That way they will have a better understanding of what kind of education they would enjoy pursuing. As usual, some humor entered the conversation, courtesy of Hubby.

Hubby: What interested you when you were younger?

Eldest: What do you mean, Dad?

Hubby: Well, when I was your age, I wanted to be a Penthouse™ photographer.

Me: *SHOCK*

Eldest: Dad, why would want to take pictures of penthouses?

Me: (sighing in relief) I have never been so happy to hear you say something like that.

My relief was short-lived, since Hubby explained what he meant. But for a few seconds, I was revelling in the beautiful innocence. Like it or not, I have to let them grow up sometime. I just wish it were in a bubble 😉

It’s Not Rolling, But I Did Leap for Joy

It’s Sunday, and with Hubby home, that means the re-establishing of a family tradition. One that will make my hips whimper, but I don’t care.

SHIPLEY DO-NUTS!!!

Yes, that’s the proper way to spell it. While he was gone we seldom got the chance to get doughnuts for breakfast. It was something we did with him, so we fell out of the habit of going for doughnuts. But now, it is time to get back into the groove of things, and rejoice!!

It’s not a perfect circle, true. But it is a perfect combination of sugar and fats!! Ironically, I prefer Dunkin’ Donuts™ coffee to Shipley’s. But then again, I don’t go there for coffee. I go there for the sugary goodness that screams a symphony in my head as I partake of it.

And now, if y’all will excuse me? I have to go walk off the 20,000 calories I just ingested 😉