Category Archives: Brainworm

Thursday Never List

I have noticed that several bloggers have a day set aside for blog linking, or lists, or other sundry stuff like funnies. So I decided to start my Thursday Never List™. One can never have too many lists, and at least this one won’t alarm the NSA.

One of the things my brother-in-law Draco and I used to like to talk about was movies. He has his favorites, and so do I. But we also had that list. You know, the movies we would never, EVER watch. EVER!!!! Invariably, one of us would screech at the other in disagreement over a classic, but for the most part we tended to agree on most movies we blacklisted. And so, in honor of my brother Draco, here is my list of the top five movies I’ll never, EVER watch.

kirsten stewart lol

#5- A Nightmare on Elm Street

It doesn’t matter which version, or sequel. I just don’t care to see some chick transmogrified into a cockroach while some dude runs around with finger blades. Though the blades are rather nice.

#4- Twilight

Seriously, who thought sparkly vampires and expressionless twits were a good combination?

#3- The Notebook

Nicholas Sparks writes the same book with a different title every year.

#2- Avatar

Not to be confused with M. Night Shyamalan’s torturous homage to Nickelodeon’s Avatar: The Last Airbender, this film is so riddled with politics and plot holes, I would just as soon clip my nails in a Cuisinart™ than watch more than the ten minutes I wasted.

Ok, this is where y’all will probably hate me.

#1- Top Gun

Can’t stand that over-rated, couch-jumping, peacocking whiner.

So, that’s my Thursday Never List. Feel free to admonish me for never having watched Top Gun. I get that a lot 😀


I Miss John Hughes

Sometimes I miss being a teenager. Not often, but when I do, I get nostalgic for what defined my generation. No, I do NOT miss the mullets, or parachute pants, or the headbands, or the sleeveless t-shirts, or the skinny ties…well, ok, I do miss the skinny ties. They were rather cool. No, I miss the innocent angst that churned throughout our high school years. I miss the afterschool gossip in the hallways, the stinky bus rides, and even hanging out at the mall because it was Saturday night and there was no other place to go. Innocent angst that never really hurt anyone, stuff that you could cure with a calorie-fest and a Christian Slater flick. THAT is what I miss.

sixteen_candles_ver1

Now that I’m a mom, it’s tough to see my kids going through the same trials and tribulations. You know how things will turn out. You try to guide them, and warn them, and all you get is the same ol’ “You just don’t understand.” So, I do the next best thing.

I make them watch a John Hughes movie.

No one else understood teen angst as well as John Hughes did. NO ONE!!! I don’t care that they didn’t have cellphones or internet in the movies. Growing up is the same on the inside for every generation. In a small way, I’m glad I don’t have to experience teen heartbreak. But in a big way, I’m glad I know what it was like, and that at least my kids will listen to a movie, if not me.

After all, I was born a mom. What would I know about Life?? 😉


Bookshelf Sithy

The other day, my friend XBradTC sent along a link to a book that just screams The Force.

sw-shakespeare

Seriously, I can not think of anything more macbethy or hamletty than Star Wars.

Sheer EPICNESS!!!

Enjoy your Friday!! 😀

 


Old Habits Don’t Die, Ever

You know, sometimes I am amazed at how old habits from my youth still persist on surfacing.

Yesterday I had the TV on in the background while I was cleaning up, and the new version of The Thing came on. Eh, it’s ok, but not really the type of movie I enjoy watching, so it’s a good thing I wasn’t really watching it. I didn’t even give it a thought, but then after it was over, John Carpenter’s The Thing came on.

The stuff of...what the screaming Hades IS that??

The stuff of…what the screaming Hades IS that??

I tried. I really, really tried to change the channel. I just….couldn’t. I was frozen (heh!) to the screen as the story unfolded for the upteenth time. In my opinion, that is still one of the most frightening films ever made. Why? Not because of the Creature. Not because of the gore. Not because of the screaming and agony.

No. The reason that movie is so scary is the very last scene. After MacReady (Kurt Russell) blows up the Creature and the whole area, he is sitting outside, and Childs (Keith David) walks up. And as they speak I notice one detail: MacReady’s breath fogs, but Childs’ doesn’t!!!! And the last lines say a lot, too:

Childs: What do we do?

MacReady: Why don’t we just wait here for a while… see what happens.

I know now that HE knows, and that just scares the life out of me. Every. Single. Time. I should know better than to watch a John Carpenter movie. They never end well.

Anyway, the evening comes to an end, and we all prepare for bed, and as I lay there waiting for sleep to come, I picture the entire movie in my head once again, and feel anxiety starting to rise, and fear gripping my chest, and so I do what every single normal kid has done to ward off those hellish visions of doom.

I cover my head with my blanket and feel myself relax, the fear subside, and all’s right with my world.

Because every kid knows: a blanket can take on every monster and creature single-handed. It works every time 😉


Shaving With Occam’s Razor

Why do people make things complicated?

A friend of mine decided to redo her pantry. Good for her, I say! I love remodeling, and love to see the “before-and-after” pics people post on social sites. But her redo makes absolutely no sense to me.

See, she has wire shelving in her pantry, and hates it. Small things fall through, and some things just topple over. I have the same problem. I despise all of the wire shelving in this house, with the possible exception of the linen closet, because I do like air to circulate through the linens. It’s one of my Jones. Anyway, her solution is going to set her back about $4,000. She is ripping out all the shelving and putting in wood shelves and having them painted. All for an area that seldom will be seen by visitors. Now like I said, I’m all for home improvement, but NOT when I can find an easier, more cost effective solution, like this one!

tile

That’s peel and stick tile, which you can get for less than a dollar per square foot. Simply peel the backing, and apply to the wire shelf. That’s it. I did the math, and it hurt my brain, but for my pantry the total cost would be about $40, and I would have enough left over to do a few shelves in the kids’ rooms. Can you imagine what you could buy with the $3, 960???

Even after I told her of my solution, she was undeterred. She wants to make upgrades to her home in case she has to sell it. I can understand that. I remember when she took a wobbly chair in to get the legs shortened. I told her a bit of cork under the short leg would have solved her problem. She replied, “But the cork wouldn’t match the color [of the chair].” She never thought of a Sharpie™.

I must say she is an inspiration to me. She always makes me think of the easiest solution to the problem du jour. It’s a gift, and a curse 😉


Friday Sithy

I am observing fast today and really have no idea what to write since my coherence level is at an irrational number so I thought of posting a Sithy courtesy of my friend PepeLp who knows me well enough to send me a mash up of Sith and Archaeology.

Second best run on sentence ever.

star wars hieroglyphics

If I could print this on papyrus, I would.

Have an awesome Friday!! 😀


Pillow Talk

This morning I was watching the news, when the anchor made mention of a “language gene“.

Oooooh…. SCIENCE!! I knew about the discovery (about ten years old now), but apparently there was a new twist to it. My ears perked up to listen, and I was not disappointed.

According to scientists, women speak “about 20,000 words a day – some 13,000 more than the average man.” Yes, yes… I asked the same question:

IS THAT ALL??

woman blahbing

According to science studies, women have more of the Foxp2 protein than men do. That’s the “language protein”. Apparently, the more you have, the more you gab. I don’t have much of it, but according to Hubby, Little One makes up more than my lack. So ladies, take it easy on your guy. He has a tough time keeping up with everything we say, not because he doesn’t care, but because there’s so much of it!!

So far, no studies have found men to have a “listening gene” as yet. And I am willing to bet that even if such a gene existed, the scientific community would never, ever admit it 😉


Sacrilegious Awesomeness

This post has nothing whatsoever to do with Lent, or religion, so stop freaking out. It has to do with books.

Old books, in fact. Old, cheesy books. Old, moldy, cheesy books that no one wants, found in a dustbin at the the thrift store.

I’m trying to justify my actions here.

I found an old RD Condensed Edition book in a “free” bin, and my mind reeled. Who would just throw away a book?? It’s a BOOK!! You don’t just…. discard a book. You revere it, treasure it, pass it on to someone so that they can gather knowledge.

But this is a “condensed edition” book. Like the Cliff Notes™ of Society.

rd book

Anyway, I saw this and decided to try my hand at making one. Never would I have thought of doing it, save for the fact that it’s a condensed book from 1953 that no one wanted. Besides, I read it already. All four condensed books, of which I had never heard. So, I will mess around with it, and post my DIY instructions once I figure out all the bugs.

Hopefully there will be no bookworms 😉


I’m Wondering….

Just how much of Skyrim can I take before I finally snap?

Sigh…..

*heads off to see the Mummies*

😀


It Feels Mondayney

Because it is.

It all began with setting the wrong time on my alarm: PM for AM. I overslept, and the dogs barking at the door roused me from a rather interesting dream where I was selling mangoes by the side of the road and Richard Burton buying a peck for his crush, Lindsay Lohan. I asked him if he knew he was dead, and he said he did, but he “came back” for Lindsay. I asked him if he was interested in dating her, and he said she thinks it’s just for dating, but that he needs to fill a roster for the Grim Reaper.

If I were Ms. Lohan, I would take rehab seriously.

Anyway, I took the kids to school, dropped off my neighbor’s little girl, and came back to the smell of colitas spray paint, rising up through the air. Turns out Hubby drove over a can of spray paint in the garage. So, not only is one of Eldest’s things for her room ruined, he got spray paint on his car, too. Luckily, I know how to take that off. Then it was off to take my BIL back to his barracks, and then finally to take Little One’s PE clothes to school, because since everyone overslept, she forgot.

I ask you: why do I have to be the one to wake everyone, when they ALL have their own alarm clocks??

Anyway, this week can’t get any worse, right? RIGHT?? Here’s hoping y’all’s doesn’t, either 😉