Acting My Age

I was watching TV yesterday and there was some commercial about something to which I wasn’t going to pay any attention until I heard a certain phrase: Act your age. It took me a few seconds (I don’t multitask very well when I am eating ice cream) for the phrase to fully sink in.

What exactly does that mean, really?

Who gets to determine what each age should act like? Is there a book somewhere, or a rule? My husband is still fond of playing videogames, and I have been known to wear a tiara while cleaning the bathrooms. I still chase down the ice cream truck (I know the guy and he is no longer afraid of me). We watch old cartoons and rated G movies. I own action figures and still have a Joe Cool Snoopy. And a Hedwig. And some of the stuffed animals I had when I was a toddler. I still color with crayons and use finger paints. Let’s face it: I am far from “acting my age”.

And so are many other people, I’m sure. My personal experience tells me that it is one thing to act like a kid and quite another to act immature. Acting one’s age can lead to boredom, which leads to dissatisfaction, which leads to crankiness, which leads to immaturity. Ergo: you need to play like a kid in order to be a happy mature adult. SCIENCE!!! You’re welcome, world!!

Anyway, time for me to get going. I have my Legos out and need to finish building my castle, complete with moat and archers 😀

This Is Super Bowl Weekend, and I Will Be Celebrating the Ads

I remember vaguely when the Super Bowl was a game, and not a soap opera. I am not the most savvy football person out there, but holy cow….cheating, on the field and on your girlfriends (you know who I’m talking about), and “I’m too good to talk to the media” (you know who I’m talking about), and now one of the big time players may miss the game due to his girlfriend giving birth to their child (you know who, and if he loves her, put a damn ring on her finger and your name on the birth certificate). Honestly, I am half-tempted to DVR the whole game so I can skip it and fast forward to the commercials. But if I did that, Hubby would be disappointed. Although….. we did just get a new TV for upstairs, so he has that going for him, which is nice. Besides, the game justifies the food.

No, I’m not making that food stadium extravaganza. I am making seven layer dip and pigs in a blanket and popcorn chicken and po boys and micheladas and snickerdoodles and fried biscuits bits rolled in cinnamon sugar. Hopefully that will be enough for the five of us.

And what will y’all be ingesting in celebration of the end of football season? 😀

Aggie’s Unconventional Guide to Valentine’s Day

Let me be clear: I can’t stand Valentine’s Day.

I love the romance and the idea and history behind the holiday, don’t get me wrong. But the commercialism makes me all stabby while pukey. I have written posts in the past to help y’all with gift ideas for your beloved. Some have been obvious (my go-to Lolita glass of the week) and some have been a bit….. odd (Zen perfume made from roses grown outside our atmosphere). So here is my list for no-fail gifts this Valentine’s Day.

#5– Electric drill

Honestly, most women would like to own one just so they could put up their own wall decor and also have a handy tool for those times when you need to be….persuasive.

#4– Santoku knife

Who doesn’t want a knife??

#3– Ear plugs

For those times when you finally run out of patience with questions, be it from kids, or coworkers.

#2– Car wash pass

Show her you love her enough to worry about her manicure, or at least worry what the neighbor’s think of her vehicular trash can.

#1– Personal vacation

Sending your beloved somewhere on his or her own is a great way to show them that you love them. Why? Because your beloved needs time away from you before that electric drill becomes necessary. News at 11.

So there you go. A list of awesome gifts for your sweetheart. I have three santoku knives, several pairs of ear plugs, and I am angling for the drill next. Also, I am not responsible for any reaction you may get from your beloved if you choose to heed my advice. As usual, my advice is unsolicited and should always fall on deaf ears, especially those ears with ear plugs. But should you feel the need to give a safer, more conventional gift, roses are always a wonderful idea.

So the florist tells me 😉

The Perfect House

Everyone dreams of their perfect house. Some people want the picket fences and others want 12 foot high concrete walls. Some want the wood shingles while others want copper roofing. It’s fun to watch home renovation shows to see what finishes people pick for their ultimate dream home. Sometimes people are predictable and pick the same stuff as other families, like glass tiles, brushed nickel faucets, hardwood floors, etc. All of that sounds nice, but after a while it’s stuff you don’t notice much. Personally, I’m ok with just pretty tile. It doesn’t matter to me if it’s porcelain or stone or glass or mirror (mind out of the gutter) or steel. Flooring is there to be abused, so I would prefer something less flamboyant than flooring made from tips of koa trees harvested by monkeys fed exclusively on organic bananas. No, there’s no such thing. Well, koa wood is a real thing, but waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too expensive. But for me, a dream home has to be good for the long run, and there are far more important things to get than the “oooooh…SHINY!!” things.

Yeah, not everyone can live in a Biltmore.

My perfect house would have flooring that never scratches, breaks, chips, or stains. I’m talking titanium tiles. The windows need to be made from borosilicate and made with the same stuff in Transition™ lenses. In the living area, the fireplace will be gas, and the gas will be pumped from the local fracking area. The TV will be inset into the wall so that I never have to dust it again. The sound system will be optional so that if he wishes to hear it, I can turn my side off and save my hearing. I will not have a conventional HVAC system. I want a geothermal system, and along with that, every bathroom will have its own tankless heater. And heated floors. And towel racks. The master bath will also have a big, BIG tub. Not just a soaker, but one you have to wait two hours to fill. In the kitchen I want an Aga™ with three ovens, and seven burners and two griddles. Why? Because. Moving on, the sink will have a disposer with a two quart capacity and a Saab Turbo™ motor. The counters will be made from cement and zinc. If I have to slam a cast iron pot on the counter I want any damage to look like it was done on purpose. And finally, the very last thing I need I need in my dream home is a dryer that folds clothes.

They had one on Lost in Space and I need the technology to catch up, pronto.

I’m sure that my vision clashes a bit with Hubby’s, but I think he will be on board with most of these. Especially the sound system and TV part. I don’t think he knows what an Aga™ is anyway, nor does he care as long as I use it to make him dinner. Priorities 😀

Slackeritis

Sorry for the lack of content the past few…. I don’t know, days? Weeks? Not sure. I have been fighting a losing battle with mountain cedar (which is not a cedar, but a juniper), among other congestive crap. Also, it is January, which means winter, which also means I am huddled around a heat pad like a hedgehog and just as prickly. I’m just not happy unless my skin is roasting, while being protected with SPF 5000, of course.

Anyway, once again my crafting is out of control. I can’t seem to stop making flowers, just as Little One can’t seem to stop taking them. So I make more, and now have a big batch of velvet, felt, and ribbon to put away. It’s colorful, but I can’t seem to convince Hubby that’s it’s also decor.

I have put a moratorium on shopping at thrift stores and craft stores until such time as I know where in the world this Carmen San Diego wannabe will end up this summer. That also means I have to organize my stuff, and begin to store my Lolita glasses. And above all, it means I have to finish every single project I have started.

Every single one!!!!

Mirrors, vases, bottles, wreaths, tables…. the list goes on.

And on.

At least it will keep me busy and keep my mind off everything I will be giving up during Lent 😀

Obligatory Best and Worst Presents of Christmas 2014

Hubby kept asking me what I wanted for Christmas. I’m at the age where I don’t need anything, but he is at the age where skipping on giving me a gift is downright dangerous. It never fails. I write a Santa’s List™ and you would think it’s written in Sanskrit from the way my family reacts. Again, what is so difficult about giving me PJs or knives or wineglasses?? In his defense he wanted to give me something I could use, and also something that I didn’t already own.

Behold the Precious!!!!

He gave me the Hoodie Footie, not the gal. I have to say, I love that piece of cotton candy wannabe fluff. I had one a few years back but gave it to my German friend, who needed it waaaaay more than I did because, GERMANY. I admit there have been days when I wore it all day during the holidays. I am not ashamed. I love it with the burning of a thousand suns, though I am glad it’s not hot like a thousand suns because I want to keep snuggling in it and even call it Georgette.

That was the Best of this year. Normally I stop there, because I firmly believe there’s no such thing as a bad present. But this year tested the limit.

That’s a mini masher. Not exactly a Worst gift. But it’s hard to appreciate it when it bent on first use, while using it to mash avocados. I wish I could say it was my indomitable strength, but I am trying to save y’all from spewing all over your keyboards. Still, better to be thought of than be passed over, right?

And what were your best and worst gifts this Christmas? 😀

Back From a Break, and Feeling Groovy

It has been a few weeks since I last posted. I just decided to take a break from blogging for a while. Nothing big or disastrous happened, just the usual end-of-year burnout. That and food comas.

We had a wonderful but short visit with Eldest in which she sometimes let loose the legendary sailor’s vocabulary. That was…. interesting. Still, it was the best present I received for Christmas! The visit, not the vocabulary. She is adapting well to her new life, and is third in her class so far. Of course, she is now pining for her vehicle so that she can get to the mall or something. I made it through four years of college walking everywhere, and she can make it through these few months, too.

Aside her visit, we pretty much stayed put here. Winter is finally making an appearance, and that usually means I bundle myself up and stay near a heating element. I’m still in a flower-making kick and now have to figure out what to do with all of them. Until I do, I’ll just keep sewing and gluing fabric and ribbon. It keeps my mind occupied and my fingers bleeding, but there’s band-aids for that.

Now that Christmas holidays are coming to an end, I can get back into the mindless blogosphere again, not just writing but also commenting at my favorite blogs. I have neglected to keep up with my internet friends and I must rectify that as soon as possible. No telling what mayhem has been going on.

After all, I have to live vicariously through others 😉

Weekend Sithy

As y’all know, I am not a fan of censorship. Sure, my blog, my rules. But overall, I’m a big proponent of the First Amendment. I may not agree with the vile and idiotic stuff out there, but I do want to hear it, if only to identify the vile and stupid. One of the scariest things to happen this week was Sony Entertainment’s capitulation to North Korea regarding their movie, The Interview. Was I going to see it? Not likely. I do like my humor irreverent, but I can wait for it to show up on TV. But that was not the point. In short the Norks didn’t like it, so they threatened Sony by hacking and promising a “9/11” type of attack, and Sony caved. And so did Paramount with Team America: World Police. That really doesn’t make sense to me because Kim Jong Il is dead already. The hacking also makes no sense because that country barely keeps its lights on as it is, so it is my opinion they had some outside help. But no matter. They revealed how soft and easily manipulated we have become. Well, some of us. Personally, I would have shown the movie anyway and given away free popcorn.

But enough gloom and doom. Enjoy this weekend’s Sithy, courtesy of a Rottie friend.

Now, that is how you do it 😉

The Odd Collector

Some years ago, maybe 20 or so, I decided to collect lighthouses. But only Harbour Lights® lighthouses. I loved them. There is a certain lonesome romance about a lighthouse. The solitude associated with them is attractive. Anyway, I collected them until they went insane and made several different limited editions and decided that the name was more important than detail. Seriously, there is no way the Canaveral lighthouse is three times taller than the Space Shuttle.

There are some things I still collect. I have a fondness for geology and tend to be an amateur rockhound, so I have a nice collection of museum quality specimens. And of course, I collect Lolita™ glasses. Finally, a collection of useful things!! And they are like Pokemon™: gotta catch ’em all. According to Hubby, I am rising to that challenge.

Those are ordinary collections, though. But the thing is, I am an odd collector, too. I think of an odd collector as someone who only collects one of a certain thing, usually some item destined to be an heirloom or something that has some tie to a cultural reference. For example, while we were stationed in Hawaii, I fell in love with Koa wood. It is very rare and expensive, so there was no way I was going to own a dining table and chair made from it. But I managed to find a vanity hairbrush and comb set with a beautiful burl on the backs. One thing, see? I remember my grandmother had little glass figurine in its satin-covered box. We were never allowed to touch it, even breathe on it. It was Baccarat™. I don’t know what happened to it, but I do remember how the light refracted and made such beautiful rainbows when she showed it to me. A while back blogger friend Mitchell posted a gift for his mother, and years later I feel the need to have this one thing.

A bold, beautiful butterfly. I have a jones for cute insects. And Hubby never has any idea what to get me. He has decided the Lolita thing is off the table, since he has no idea what I own, so this would be a nice one thing to gift me. It may be too late for Christmas, but there is always Valentine’s Day, and I would much prefer this to flowers that die or candy that makes me fat.

So, do y’all have those “one things” too? Or am I an outlier? Again?? 😀

And So It Begins at the Post Office

Today I decided it was cold enough to go to the post office to get holiday stamps (Mother and Child, if you are curious), packing tape (because I can never find the spool that will invariably turn up after the holidays), and mail out a package to Eldest. I was excited to send off the package because I can finally send her something, you know? Ironically, I sent her Navy stuff she owned. I still have to wait to find out what she is allowed to have in her quarters. The last thing she needs is to be articled over a bag of Twizzlers™ and a hair straightening iron.

As an aside, forgive my absence from the blogs. My Linux laptop is having connectivity issues, and after crying and sobbing attempting to connect for a week, I figure it’s time to take it in to be checked. I am now using my mini, which is IE, and which is a PITA. So, because it is difficult to use, I will be blogging and commenting a bit less than usual.

Ok, back to the topic. Anyway, I was at the post office, and as I stood in the rather short line, I noticed the patrons all had packages, and all were going overseas. The lady in front of me asked if I was sending to an MPO, because she wasn’t sure she had written the address correctly and was worried the package wouldn’t get there on time. Oddly, the gentleman behind me had the same question. So, I helped them with the addresses, making sure to repeat the addresses on the side of the boxes just in case. After my business is finished, I am walking out of the office and witness a young woman dropping her packages all over the parking lot, so I go help her out, and after setting the packages on the table, I notice another lady with a box wrapped in masking tape, which is not code. So, I give her the spool I had just bought and told her to seal the box as well as she could. And wouldn’t you know it, an older lady pipes up and says, “Looks like we have one of Santa’s elves helping out.” And I replied, “I’m just doing the jobs trolls won’t do.”

Yes, they all laughed. Thank goodness they all had a sense of humor 😉