What I Learned at Awards Night

Last evening Little One’s school held their annual Honors Night. Usually this means giving out the best-students-in-this-class awards, athletic awards, organization awards, perfect attendance, and honor roll. I will not disparage any award given, but I do question why perfect attendance is so over-rated. Any kid that misses a day has to make up the classes anyway. And those who come to school ill because they don’t want a miss a day tend to spread disease so others get to miss school. Seems like a viscous cycle to me.

Anyway, as tedious as these things are, we always manage to entertain ourselves the Simon and Garfunkel way. How’s that, you may ask? Well, here are the lyrics to their song, America:

Laughing on the bus
Playing games with the faces
She said the man in the gabardine suit was a spy
I said “Be careful his bow tie is really a camera”

That’s correct: we make a game trying to guess who people are and what they do. It’s fun and keeps us busy during the breaks. But playing that game makes us pretty aware of what other people are doing. So here’s a list of things I learned not to do in large crowded areas.

1. Don’t take a selfie if you are sitting in front of my husband. He is very good at photobombing, and he is even better at embarrassing you.
2. If you and your friends are going to cheer for an honoree, make sure you synchronize yourselves. Otherwise it sounds completely garbled and the honoree will think you hate them, causing a major drama to unfold after the ceremony.
3. If you and your friends are going to boo someone as a joke, be prepared for a certain mom to come speak to you about it. Also, be prepared to have that certain mom make sure to embarrass you in front of the rest of your group by pointing out your ridiculous underwear sticking out of your dropped pants.
4. When going up to accept an award, do not jockey for position. It makes you look like a photo hound at best, and a rude kid at worst.
5. When taking photos of your awards student, please be considerate of the rest of humanity in that auditorium and do not place your late model iPad15™ in front of others. Get up and go up to the stage to take the photo.

So, that is some of the fun stuff I learned last evening. I also learned that some gal was going out with some guy who thought another gal was crushing on him, but since he wasn’t sure, he decided to stay with the first gal because it was good for his school standing and he didn’t want to risk losing the street cred in case the other gal wasn’t really crushing on him.

Man, am I glad I’m not in school 😀

It Seems to Be One of “Those” Days

We all have them. The day when nothing goes right, when everything you try to do seems to fail, when nothing you do is “good enough”. I and a few of my friends are having a rough day, feeling a bit down due to circumstances beyond apparent control. It’s on days like these that I bring out the heavy artillery.

Some of us are feeling the pain of loss, others are feeling ineffective, and perhaps some feel like they have failed in some way. Today is a bit rough for me, recalling the loss of people from long ago and from just this week. But memories always help to ease my heart. Even bad memories have their silver linings. I know that we can get bogged down on the bad. For me, the trick is to make fun of the bad, even if I just flip my finger and just say FIDO! Seems childish, but it works for me, very well and often!

Never forget, my friends: things can always be worse. And always remember, I’m just a social site and a few streets away 🙂

I Have No Time Except For Sithy

At least, it feel like it.

In my infinite knowledge, I scheduled two doctor appointments for myself this week, plus Son’s orthodontics appointment for tomorrow. My sister is hosting her weekly BBQ get-together on Thursday, which is also Honors Night at the Jr. High. My niece’s wedding rehearsal dinner is on Friday, and Saturday is the big to-do, scheduled for nine hours, because we are sure going to have a great time, people! But before then, I have to finish decorating a box for cards for the wedding gift table, and finish getting the girls dresses ready. And in between this, I have to keep going over to the bank to deliver about 1,296 documents so we can refinance the house. So while I run all over South Central Texas, take time to enjoy a Sithy.

After this week, I bet I will need something a bit…darker. Have a great day! 😉

Summer Drink Noms

So this week is preparing to be a challenging week for yours truly. I am in the middle of refinancing the house, can’t find paperwork, helping my niece get ready for her wedding this Saturday, have sundry appointments with doctors and orthodontists and dentists, and getting crap done for the end of the school year.

Not a happy Aggie, I am.

But I figured I would post a recipe I found that is adaptable and dlish for summer.

Berry Stomp

• A small handful each of blackberries, raspberries, and blueberries (about five of each)
• 1½ oz. Vanilla vodka
• 1 oz Grand Marnier
• Club soda
• Additional berries for garnishing

Place the berries in a shaker and muddle well. Add crushed ice, the vanilla vodka and the Grand Marnier and shake well. Strain into a rocks glass filled with ice, and top with the club soda. Garnish with the berries if desired.

It’s too bad my purse is white, because I would sneak a flask of this stuff to the wedding. I have a feeling after eight hours I will be needing it 😀

Stupid Aggie Tricks

Today I was perusing the social-site-with-faces for news and sundry, when I noticed my friend PajamaMomma‘s status:

Running late…..washed my hair in the sink with dish soap. I hope I don’t get “dish pan” hair.

And that got me to thinking of all the stupid things I have done simply because I saw them on TV. I’m not saying PJM’s hair washing was stupid. I consider it sheer genius. It just so happens that her status post triggered a memory avalanche.

I hate it when that happens.

#1– I have tried and enjoyed milk with Pepsi™.

On a dare at the college cafeteria, this n00b took on a member of the elite baseball team (Chris Knoblauch, if you must know) and drank a glass of milk with ghastly Pepsi. It is the only way I will drink either.

#2– Soaked my fingernails in Palmolive™ dishwashing liquid.

To this day I don’t know why doing that was a Good Thing™. All I got out of it was clean cuticles.

#3– Wrote my name using Era™ liquid detergent, on a grass stain that I incurred on my jeans while doing something no doubt stupid.

Yeah, you have to actually LET IT SET for hours before you see any change. I wasted half a container and incurred motherly wrath.

#4– Washed my hair with Ajax™.

Obviously, I learned a lot from Laverne and Shirley. Also, Ajax™ strips your hair of oils and residue pretty well. Do not do this more than once a month, though.

#5– Carried Certs™ around just in case I had a “Certs encounter.”

The closest I had to a “Certs encounter” was years ago, in the wine section of the supermarket, and the gentleman was in his late 70’s. Neither one of us had Certs™. Thank goodness.

These are just a few of my…. fails, I suppose. I am sure I am not alone. At least PJM has done her share. So I have that going for me 😀

There Are Days….

I confess I have had a rough time finding topics for this blog. It’s not that there isn’t stuff out there on which I can bloviate. It’s just that sometimes I don’t have the motivation to write about pithy crap. This isn’t a serious blog, and I try to keep it light and full of fluff. There are days when that is sorely tested.

I see friends on social media come to cyberspace blows due to differences in opinion.

I see family over-react when they see a nebulous comment from a member.

I see tin foil and all-seeing eyes while people leave Occam’s awesome razor to rust.

I see hypocrisy thinly veiled as superiority.

But the thing I see most is people DEMANDING their right to be offended.

Last I checked, that wasn’t on the Bill of Rights, and it sure as Hades not endowed by our Creator. If you are offended by something, first take a minute to ask yourself why. Figure out the cause of the offense before you go off on someone who may not have the same grade of skin thickness that you do. If you don’t like what someone has posted, let your fingers do the walking and scroll right by. If you feel that someone’s opinion is making the delicate walls of your echo chamber quiver like Jell-O™, then by all means use that finger of yours and hide or delete the offending character. Getting into a CAPS LOCK match wastes everyone’s time, and you could possibly break a nail when pounding out your sensibilities.

Remember: social media isn’t a one way street.

Justification in Circles

Sometimes, I’m amazed I don’t throw my back out when I try to justify my logic.

Yesterday I went to the outlet mall in search of a gift for my sister-in-law, and a Mother’s Day gift for my mom. It was a gorgeous day, and I was on my own so I didn’t feel rushed by anyone. Not that Hubby ever rushes me while shopping, but I do want to take his feelings into account. The kids’, not so much. Anyway, I had recalled that there was a Coach™ outlet store, and my mind made a quick calculation:

Handbag + Mother’s Day = Happy lady

Eh, works for most women, yours truly included. Women are all about the accessories. You know why? Because it gives us the excuse to go shopping for the outfit to match. Ask any woman. Accessories are a gateway drug to the closet. So with that in mind, I go over to the store in search of a handbag for my mom. And I am quickly overwhelmed. Seriously, I have no idea what to get my mom. Every woman has different criteria for her handbag. For example, I need inside pockets for my phone, glasses, and change. My mom prefers a large roomy inside to having myriad pockets and compartments. But they have a clearance section and that’s where I head to do my shopping, because THAT is every woman’s criteria.

I find a couple of handbags that may please my mom: a hobo-style with room enough for a kitchen sink, and a smaller tote style handbag that she can use for church and other social events. I call my sister to ask her which one I should get mom. Hilarity ensued.

Me: One is like your hobo but tan, not pink, and the other is smaller like for church.

Sis: Why are you wanting to buy her a purse??

Me: Doesn’t she like purses?

Sis: I already got her a Coach™ purse.

Me: YOU DID??

Sis: Uh, you were with me…

Me: *sighs*…. what am I supposed to do now?

Sis: You can buy yourself one.

Me: Hm…but I can’t decide!

Sis: Good luck with that!

Here’s the thing: I don’t own any fancy purses save for two. Ironically, one is by Coach™, given to me almost twenty years ago by my late brother-in-law, Draco. And guess what?? I have my niece’s wedding to attend. I NEED A NEW BAG!! But I still couldn’t decide. Apparently my dilemma was obvious to the salesguy, because he sauntered over to let me know the clearance section was on sale for an additional 40% off. So I did what any sane woman would do.

AND the wallets were on sale, as well. Don’t they look good against my pots??

You may be asking what I will be doing for my mom instead. I have a back up plan. Well, I usually have a few back up plans just in case. She may not get her gift by Mother’s Day, but better late than never, right?

At least I hope so 😀

Whirling Dervish Alert

Well, not really. I’m not a mystic. But I have been going around in circles trying to get things done around here.

The past few days I have been working around the yard. Yes, the cacti are still alive. So are the petunias. So far. Anyway, I decided to redo the backyard area a bit. I have this really neat ironwork pot holder that I brought back from Germany and had been standing against the back wall unused and forlorn. I moved it out from under the loquat tree and placed it against a sunny area along the fence, then planted petunias (Hello! Have you met me??) to display on it. It looks so nice and makes a great backdrop for my dog, who thinks I beautified the area for her. She’s funny like that.

I discovered to my chagrin that one of my three beautiful hostas did not survive the last freeze, so now I have another planter to fill with….something. I love hostas, but they don’t fare as well down here as they do up north. I may get a hydrangea and take a chance that I won’t end up murdering it it will do well under the tree along the other hostas. I just know I have to put something in the planter. It’s a jones of mine. I see an empty planter or pot and I have to put a soon-to-be-in-hospice plant in it. Currently I have four planters to fill. Which means a trip to the nursery in search of more victims flowers with which to beautify the backyard. Or the front yard.

That’s how I feel when I garden. At least until the plants begin their transition from hospice to flora heaven. Then not so much.

But until then, I shall enjoy the pretty flowers and make plans to go to Hobby Lobby and buy fake ones when they go on sale so I can replace them after mourning the passing of the current crop. It makes sense to me, and that’s all that counts 🙂

One Small Blessing

Sometimes we get so entrenched in Life that we forget to live and appreciate it.

Last week someone decided to remind me. I received a postcard. It was unsigned with only a simple message:

Just a note to let you know someone is thinking of you ♥

That made me tear up. No, not because I thought it was a stalker warning me. That I can handle. I was overwhelmed that someone would take the time to do that for me. The last time I received an anonymous note like this was in seventh grade, after the Valentine’s Day “secret admirer” carnations had been handed out in class, and I was the only one to not receive any. I’m pretty sure that note came from my Earth Science teacher. Just as in seventh grade, the postcard was a lovely gesture and a comforting one. I can only hope to repay the kindness shown to me soon. But for now, I can only do this.

To whoever sent me the postcard, I will keep it always. It will remind me about my blessings, and also to pass that on to others 🙂

Rising to the Challenge

Well, it’s long past time to clean up the yard and get more plants to murder.

Yesterday, I went to a home improvement store to get some plants for the front yard. I had spent the previous morning cleaning up the dead debris from the previous year, and needed some boosts of color. As usual, I gravitate towards petunias. I love petunias. They tend to do well in hot weather, and their velvety colors are rich and radiant. Who wouldn’t want such beautiful blooms??

Look at them!!! Aren’t they lush and gorgeous?

I have to admit, those plants tend to survive here quite well, but it does get rather boring after a while. The problem we have is choosing plants for the front stoop. That area acts like a magnifying glass in the afternoon. After consulting Hubby (and by that, I mean he pretty much said I couldn’t kill these), we settled on cacti.

There they are and there they’ll stay. Heat and Summer challenge: accepted. And if they do die, it will NOT be my fault this time.

I’ll take the blame for the other plants that do die off, though. This is me we are talking about 😉