Last week, I traveled to Washington, D.C. Though I was there only a few days, we managed to see a lot of stuff, mostly drive-bys with the intent of scoping out the territory, so to speak.
But this is not about the trip.
This is about the pre-trip part of the journey.
One of the things I do is pack lightly. I am a master at packing. I can manage to pack for five days in a carry-on and still have room for any shopping I wish to do. I am also cognizant of all travel restrictions so I avoid packing any liquids or fragile items. Also, I dress accordingly: no bulky jackets, no boots, no extra bling, no hair clips. Still, due to the fact that I have a rather unconventional hobby, I am bound to be flagged for swabbing or for a thorough search consisting of a pat down by Guido the Supervisor.
But not this time. This time I was sent through TSA Pre and walked right through the X-ray machine with no incident. I was one happy gal. Until I noticed my bag wasn’t coming through the conveyor belt. The agent took it out and re-ran it through, twice. And the third time she called the supervisor over.
Ok, now I was sweating a bit. I reviewed where the bag had been before. No, not the range (wrong bag for that), and no one had borrowed it. Nope, never left my home unless it was with me. The supervisor signaled me over and asked a few questions, specifically if there was anything in the bag that could cut him or physically harm him in any way. Uh, no, unless you think the mascara wand can be hostile. He swabs the inside and proceeds to test it, honing in on the area that sets off the alarm. He begins to dig through my clothing. I am painfully aware of other people watching as he takes out my undies and places them aside. Why the hell didn’t he move the jacket and shirts?? Finally, the culprit was found.
That’s right. The package of Thin Mints was setting off the TSA alarm.
The supervisor took them out and scanned just in case, and turns to me and says, “You know, we like these cookies…”. And with a smile I replied, “And so do I.” He had the good grace to laugh and let me repack my bag. My mortification was further enhanced when the young girl next to a lady piped up and said, “Mom, she has the same panties you do”. I smiled and nodded to the outed Somaâ„¢ addict in commiseration, grabbed my bag and ran to my gate.
The moral of the story: never take cookies in your carry-on, and always pack your undies under everything else. It could have been worse, though. I could have been carrying haggis 🙂
March 19th, 2016 at 10:17 PM
Mom packed 5# of Alabama pulled pork BBQ coming home from Birmingham once. Wouldn’t have been a problem, but outside of all the ziplocs, she wrapped it in aluminum foil. That kinda got TSA’s attention. But once they saw the BBQ, they were much more understanding.
March 20th, 2016 at 7:44 AM
In Birmingham? Very understanding. I’m not so sure TSA in NYC would have been, though 🙂
March 19th, 2016 at 11:34 PM
My Rice Krispie treats always do the same thing in my backpack. I do it on purpose because I’m an ass that way.
March 20th, 2016 at 7:43 AM
Well, of course you do 😉
March 21st, 2016 at 11:07 PM
It’s like you know me so well.
March 22nd, 2016 at 5:10 PM
It happens when you’re in my head. Or vice versa. Hard to tell 🙂
March 22nd, 2016 at 11:22 AM
My blonde, green-eyed, milk-white native Ohioan wife gets strip-searched every time she flies because of a titanium knee implant.
She has a card from her doctor explaining it.
i get the impression they don’t read.
March 22nd, 2016 at 5:10 PM
I get a similar impression sometimes…
March 26th, 2016 at 6:40 AM
Soooooo….what, exactly, HAS the TSA caught with regards to actual legit weaponry or bombs?
March 28th, 2016 at 2:27 PM
I’m drawing a blank…
April 3rd, 2016 at 1:57 AM
searching for cookies…
every dumb fat b*****ds dream
especially if they are minty
April 4th, 2016 at 5:36 PM
Word!! 😉
April 4th, 2016 at 11:46 PM
I’ve eaten boxes upon boxes of those damned cookies, and have yet to become thin from them. Talk about false advertizing… 😀
April 5th, 2016 at 7:35 PM
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!