What I Learned at Awards Night

Last evening Little One’s school held their annual Honors Night. Usually this means giving out the best-students-in-this-class awards, athletic awards, organization awards, perfect attendance, and honor roll. I will not disparage any award given, but I do question why perfect attendance is so over-rated. Any kid that misses a day has to make up the classes anyway. And those who come to school ill because they don’t want a miss a day tend to spread disease so others get to miss school. Seems like a viscous cycle to me.

Anyway, as tedious as these things are, we always manage to entertain ourselves the Simon and Garfunkel way. How’s that, you may ask? Well, here are the lyrics to their song, America:

Laughing on the bus
Playing games with the faces
She said the man in the gabardine suit was a spy
I said “Be careful his bow tie is really a camera”

That’s correct: we make a game trying to guess who people are and what they do. It’s fun and keeps us busy during the breaks. But playing that game makes us pretty aware of what other people are doing. So here’s a list of things I learned not to do in large crowded areas.

1. Don’t take a selfie if you are sitting in front of my husband. He is very good at photobombing, and he is even better at embarrassing you.
2. If you and your friends are going to cheer for an honoree, make sure you synchronize yourselves. Otherwise it sounds completely garbled and the honoree will think you hate them, causing a major drama to unfold after the ceremony.
3. If you and your friends are going to boo someone as a joke, be prepared for a certain mom to come speak to you about it. Also, be prepared to have that certain mom make sure to embarrass you in front of the rest of your group by pointing out your ridiculous underwear sticking out of your dropped pants.
4. When going up to accept an award, do not jockey for position. It makes you look like a photo hound at best, and a rude kid at worst.
5. When taking photos of your awards student, please be considerate of the rest of humanity in that auditorium and do not place your late model iPad15™ in front of others. Get up and go up to the stage to take the photo.

So, that is some of the fun stuff I learned last evening. I also learned that some gal was going out with some guy who thought another gal was crushing on him, but since he wasn’t sure, he decided to stay with the first gal because it was good for his school standing and he didn’t want to risk losing the street cred in case the other gal wasn’t really crushing on him.

Man, am I glad I’m not in school 😀