Today I was perusing the social-site-with-faces for news and sundry, when I noticed my friend PajamaMomma‘s status:
Running late…..washed my hair in the sink with dish soap. I hope I don’t get “dish pan” hair.
And that got me to thinking of all the stupid things I have done simply because I saw them on TV. I’m not saying PJM’s hair washing was stupid. I consider it sheer genius. It just so happens that her status post triggered a memory avalanche.
I hate it when that happens.
#1– I have tried and enjoyed milk with Pepsi™.
On a dare at the college cafeteria, this n00b took on a member of the elite baseball team (Chris Knoblauch, if you must know) and drank a glass of milk with ghastly Pepsi. It is the only way I will drink either.
#2– Soaked my fingernails in Palmolive™ dishwashing liquid.
To this day I don’t know why doing that was a Good Thing™. All I got out of it was clean cuticles.
#3– Wrote my name using Era™ liquid detergent, on a grass stain that I incurred on my jeans while doing something no doubt stupid.
Yeah, you have to actually LET IT SET for hours before you see any change. I wasted half a container and incurred motherly wrath.
#4– Washed my hair with Ajax™.
Obviously, I learned a lot from Laverne and Shirley. Also, Ajax™ strips your hair of oils and residue pretty well. Do not do this more than once a month, though.
#5– Carried Certs™ around just in case I had a “Certs encounter.”
The closest I had to a “Certs encounter” was years ago, in the wine section of the supermarket, and the gentleman was in his late 70’s. Neither one of us had Certs™. Thank goodness.
These are just a few of my…. fails, I suppose. I am sure I am not alone. At least PJM has done her share. So I have that going for me 😀
May 8th, 2014 at 11:44 AM
I seem to have repressed those kind of memories.
May 8th, 2014 at 11:46 AM
Not me. I relive them daily 😀
May 8th, 2014 at 1:03 PM
I try to forget all of my fails.
(Note: “try”. My fails are numerous enough that many linger on, despite a horribly bad memory. I have become proficient at keeping them off YouTube, though.)
May 8th, 2014 at 1:39 PM
I don’t have a youboob account for a reason 😉
May 8th, 2014 at 7:07 PM
I once thought putting green food coloring in the spaghetti sauce would be fun. It was, but the fact that dinner looked like a cow pie with worms did not endear me to the family. Getting the silent treatment for almost two weeks from my mother made it worth it.
Tried Red Bull ™ spiked with Benadryl (bad allergy season) and it was surprisingly ok – and Red Bull ™ with egg-nog. That was pretty damned gross. Nasty, actually.
The last fail was leaping off the roof with a bed sheet, thinking it would be a killer parachute. Not really. Just a good way to break your ankles.
May 8th, 2014 at 11:06 PM
So, this silent treatment…. it worked very well??
*takes notes*
May 8th, 2014 at 9:05 PM
Speaking of cafeteria dares, I ate a Captain Crunch and Pixy Stick sammich just like Ally Sheedy in “The Breakfast Club”.
May 8th, 2014 at 9:06 PM
Well, a little more gracefully, I hope. I got a good sugar buzz off of it.
May 8th, 2014 at 11:07 PM
Hm…. ok, I’m game to try if I can get a nice sugar rush from it 🙂
May 8th, 2014 at 11:06 PM
You are my heroine 😀
May 8th, 2014 at 11:01 PM
I grew up in the time of Evel Kinevel. You can guess the carnage.
May 8th, 2014 at 11:07 PM
Sheer epicness, right? 😉
May 9th, 2014 at 6:21 AM
I have scars on the back of my right hand that attest to the reason people tell you, ” don’t put your hand in that shark’s mouth “. It turns out that is actually quite good advice, that I should have heeded.
May 9th, 2014 at 7:16 AM
Ok, that is one bit of advice I will take. Gladly. 😀
May 9th, 2014 at 2:42 PM
My biggest fail occurred when I married the 2nd wife…apparently I should have told her that getting married meant she would have to get rid of her other boyfriend….MY BAD….. thoughtless of me … I know…..
May 9th, 2014 at 5:41 PM
Some women just want to watch the world burn 😡
May 11th, 2014 at 3:57 AM
That is very true.
May 9th, 2014 at 8:58 PM
I know there must be a vault full of this kind of stuff in my brain but I must be blocking it very well. I recall using “temporary” hair color to make my hair magenta and I’m not sure why anymore. It lasted for 4 weeks. Mom was not amused.
May 10th, 2014 at 4:17 PM
Temporary that lasted four weeks?? No wonder your mom was upset 😉
May 10th, 2014 at 9:44 AM
I was going to say that ogres never do stupid shit, then I remembered the time I thought it would be a good idea to spray starting fluid into a hollow tree to get a squirrel that had run into said tree. That in itself wasn’t particularly stupid.
Where the stupid came in was when the squirrel didn’t fall out of the hollow, and I thought, “maybe if I ignited the ether, it would blow the squirrel out of the tree.”
That didn’t work either. But I did end up singeing the hair off my hand and arm, and with rotten wood and squirrel shit in my hair, in my ears, and up my nose.
Yeah, I guess you could classify that as stupid shit.
May 10th, 2014 at 4:19 PM
That’s epic. I am not laughing out loud.
That you know, anyway 😀
May 12th, 2014 at 8:29 AM
Then what’s that snickering sound I hear coming from south of here?
May 12th, 2014 at 10:36 AM
Not a clue.