Raginess Cranked Up to Eleven

Ever have one of those days when you are driving to a certain locale, having left with time to spare, only to find yourself driving behind someone doing ten miles below the speed limit, weaving in his lane because they are consulting their smartphone, then find themselves slowing down further because they are no longer watching the road but instead seem to be dialing said smartphone, and while dialing, the driver hits the curb and over-corrects into the oncoming traffic lane, over-correcting again, and then stopping on the train tracks and panicking because here comes a train and he needs to reverse his vehicle because the caution arm was coming down any second, so I had to swerve into the left turn only lane so he would have more room to avoid becoming a statistic, thus forcing me to turn in the opposite direction of where I wanted to go, making me do a legal U-turn a few streets down, and finally catching up to the same driver, who was still talking on his phone, and who screeched to a halt in the middle of an intersection because he just noticed that was his turn?

Anyone have one of those days?

I can’t be the only one.

Normally I am a very patient person. I don’t care if someone has more than ten items in the express check-out. I don’t care if someone is taking their time adjusting their seat while I await their parking space. I don’t care if someone blocks an entrance because they stopped to answer a text.

But acting irresponsibly while operating a vehicle? You have now crossed the Rubicon, jackass. I did what any worried mother would have done: applied copious pressure on the horn, followed him as he turned right, sidled next to him, rolled down my window and yelled, “HEY, YOU MAY WANT TO PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR DRIVING, AND PERHAPS THE TRAIN’S DRIVING WHILE YOU’RE AT IT!!”

The look he gave me was worth it. He was so stunned he missed his turn at the light. After that my rage began to subside and I became my normal, happy self again. I managed to run my errands in time and get home in time to begin making dinner.

And no one questioned me when I had a second glass of wine 😀

About LC Aggie Sith

Machete-wielding zombie killer when not shopping for shoes. View all posts by LC Aggie Sith

26 responses to “Raginess Cranked Up to Eleven

  • Nightflyer

    I encounter people like that all the time out here…particularly the main POC that I have to vet everything through. Makes me WISH I could have an extra glass of wine. Even one glass would help. Oh well…

  • Grand

    Another reason to like you!

  • Clete Orris

    True story from when I was a young teenager. My mom was driving down the road one day when this jackass in a convertible’s bed passed us on the left only to whip in front of us, jam on his brakes and give us the finger.

    We pulled up next to them at the next traffic signal and my mom rolled down the window very calmly yelled over to the guy let me what know when you grow one and I’ll take you up on the offer. His rage grew exponentially when he looked over and saw me a 14-year-old teenage boy laughing my fucking ass off in the passenger seat.

  • Clete Orris

    Sorry about any profanity in the preceding post

  • mrfixitou812

    Things like that are why it’s a good thing I don’t have mini-guns mounted on the hood of my car.

  • Nightflyer

    Right of way goes to the vehicle with the biggest guns.

  • Critter

    Not for nothing are tickets handed out for driving while phoning.

  • Nicole

    And it is so true that there is never a cop around when something like this happens.

  • Azygos

    I would have pulled up behind him leaving him no room to backup and beeped the horn. Stupid should be painful. I live near train tracks. I always root for a train to come by when some dumbass stops on the tracks.

    I would love to install a cell jamming device in my car. 🙂

  • Ogrrre

    George Carlin advocated giving everyone a dart gun with darts that read, “STUPID”. Then, if you saw someone driving like that, you could just shoot his car with the dart. The cops could then pull over and ticket the driver of any car that had a bunch of STUPID darts stuck on it.
    I am a bit more sanguine about the matter. I think among those whose driving record is excellent, every 10th driver should be issued an APC. Then, if they are out and about and observe the kind of driving you described, Aggie, they could just drive over the idiot, permanently removing them from the driving and gene pools. It would give everyone great incentive to pull their heads out of their asses before they insert the key into the ignition lock.

    • Ogrrre

      What do you guys think about awarding extra points to an APC driver who runs over A) a Prius, B) a car with a “COEXIST” sticker, C) a car with “Obama/Biden” or “Clinton/Obama” stickers, D) a “Baby on Board” window hanging?

  • LC Aggie Sith

    So many great ideas…. So, so many 😀

  • Azygos


    I’ll take E: All of the above because the prius usually has all those attributes.

  • scottthebadger

    I was once on my way to a traffic accident involving multiple vehicles. I was approaching an intersection, and had the lightbar, alternating headlights, and the lights on the deer smucker and mirrors going, as well as a 200 watt siren set for Yelp, ( the WOO WOO WOO WOO sound ). I even gave a double GRONK on the air horn as I approached the intersection. At the last moment, a Suburban driven by a teenage girl blew the lights in front of me, looking down at her phone as she texted. It’s a good thing that 9C1 Police Patrol Vehicle package Tahoes have real good anti lock brakes! I did not go after her, as the accident took priority, but I did actively look for her for the next week, but alas, it appears that she was not a local.

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