Thursday Never List

The other day I was grocery shopping when a gent asked my opinion on wine.

I was in the baking section.

I simply shrugged it off as just a passing thing, until he asked me what IΒ  prefer to drink when on a date. I told him that HUBBY AND I prefer to drink whisky. He scooted off with a murmured “thank you ma’am”. Later, while at the check-out line, another gent asked if I was making Caprese salad for dinner (I had tomatoes, basil, and mozzarella cheese), to which I replied in the affirmative. He then goes on to exclaim how much he LOVES it and how he prepares it, and thenΒ offers to teach me his method of Caprese salad making. I seriously thought I was in the Twilight Zone. No one but acquaintances and friends and the cashier ever speak to me, and here were two men who were giving me grocery pick up lines?? And then I figured out why:

Periodic-BaCoN-V-Neck-Babydoll

Yep, THAT is the shirt I was wearing. Men are simple, I guess. But that got me to thinking about truly horrible pick up lines. And honestly I drew a major blank, so I had to ask Hubby and other male friends. And the results were awesome!

Pick Up Lines to Never Use

#5– You’re so hot, you’re melting the elastic in my underwear.

After hearing that, I would pray for spontaneous combustion.

#4– Do you believe in love at first sight?

In a smoky bar with a disco ball and lasers and spotlights? If you do, you may need LSD to make things normal.

#3– You are beautiful. I am ugly. Let’s have average children.

I give this one marks for honesty.

#2– Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?

If an angel falls from Heaven, they are now serving in Hell. So you basically called her Satan’s minion.

#1- If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?

It only works for the Bellamy Brothers.

So that’s the list for this week. Hope y’all never have to hear any of these at the grocery store πŸ˜‰

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About LC Aggie Sith

Machete-wielding zombie killer when not a stay-at-home mom. View all posts by LC Aggie Sith

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