There is a time to every purpose under Heaven, right?
Take washing the car, for example. After misty, drizzly days, you are itching to wash the accumulated dirt and seeds and what-not that feels glued to the exterior. And the day after you wash your vehicle, it rains. That evul Murphy and his Laws strikes again. Sometimes plans don’t jive with Fate, and the efforts seem wasted. I prefer to think of it as an opportunity to learn.
And I tend to learn a lot. Over and over again, it seems.
Things Never To Do Out of Order
#5– Never wash your car if there is rain in the forecast
As alluded to before, even if you live in the desert, just learn to be patient and wait for endless sunny days.
#4– Never bathe your dog before taking him to the dog park
Hilarity will ensue after he discovers new scents into which to revel.
#3– Never try new cosmetics the day of an event
Redness and splotchy look great in commercials, but not in real life.
#2– Never take the newly-opened exit ramp
People are creatures of habit, and as such will STILL act like the ramp isn’t there for days afterwards.
#1– Never do your nails right before cleaning anything
Or gardening, or sewing, or laundering, or fill-in-the-blank. This is my Achilles heel and forever will be so until such time as I have either a full-time housekeeper, gardener, and cook, or I give up on having pretty nails.
I’m pretty sure the latter will win out 😀
March 20th, 2014 at 11:54 AM
Never trust a fart… just ask Al Roker. 😀
And… foist!! (runs and hides)
March 21st, 2014 at 9:08 AM
I do NOT want to know!!
March 20th, 2014 at 4:04 PM
Never cook your food before you sauté your onions and garlic in oil.
March 21st, 2014 at 9:09 AM
So very true 😀
March 20th, 2014 at 4:59 PM
#1 … In my youth, geologic ages ago, I helped teach a course in rock climbing. The first evening the class met, two girls came into the classroom, dressed like they were going to a party or something. Their hair was done up, and they had nails to here. I believe they thought it was going to be an easy PE class to apply to their degree. When they found out what it really entailed, they dropped the class that night. 😀
March 20th, 2014 at 5:01 PM
Oh, and for further lightly amusing information: Phred Phelps has gone to that great barbecue pit in Satan’s back yard. I’m sure he will enjoy 😉 his visit with Adolf, Jo, Mao, Benito, and others.
March 21st, 2014 at 9:10 AM
Figures they would drop the class. Wouldn’t want to break a nail tying some silly rope, huh??
March 20th, 2014 at 6:06 PM
Yeah, I never do my nails period. I always screw them up far too quickly. Every single time. I stick with pedicures since I have a harder time messing those up. 🙂 And do wash your car if you need it to rain. 🙂
March 21st, 2014 at 9:11 AM
Oh, is it me, or do manicures last twenty minutes and pedicures last like SIX YEARS???
March 20th, 2014 at 6:52 PM
Never get your hair cut by a barber with shaking hands…unless you have a flask of bourbon in your pocket.
March 21st, 2014 at 9:11 AM
I would pass on a shave, as well 😉
March 21st, 2014 at 12:52 AM
Never plant before Easter.
March 21st, 2014 at 9:12 AM
Good thing I haven’t as yet 😀
March 21st, 2014 at 12:12 PM
Never vacuum out the car prior to picking up a baseball player who made sure to get as much Alabama red clay on himself as possible.
March 21st, 2014 at 2:34 PM
Go ahead and vacuum the car. You can always Velcro the baseball player to the hood or roof of the car. Hell, then you could drive through the car wash, so you don’t get that red clay into your washing machine. 😉