Monthly Archives: February 2014

Thursday Never List

Everyone loves to give advice. Notice I didn’t say “good advice”. We give advice when asked for it, and we give advice unsolicited. Some of the best advice I have followed stemmed from someone’s experience, and not from pearls of wisdom. Some of the worst advice has come from trusted sources (I will never, EVER eat eggplant casserole again). The great thing about advice is not that you can follow it, but that you have the free will to ignore it as well. Unfortunately, the trick is to know when to do one or the other.

That’s usually when hilarity ensues, so you have that going for you.

Dear-Abby

There are some words of advice that people should never forget, though.

#5– Never go to bed angry

It doesn’t matter if some wizard cleaned your clock in World of Warcraft™ or if you’re miffed because your significant other forgot to DVR your TV show. Resolve your anger and you’ll sleep better. Or at least, sleep with both eyes closed instead of one open.

#4– Never go grocery shopping while hungry

There is a can of octopus in the refrigerator, purchased while having a craving for sushi. I bet that can will evolve into the Kraken before too long.

#3– Never leave chocolate unattended

I speak as a victim. And also as a culprit. Don’t judge me.

#2– Never leave wet towels on the floor

Especially if you have dogs. Double especially if you have wet dogs.

#1– Never skip dessert

Some say with the sweet, comes the sour. I say with dessert, comes happiness. It sure makes for a sweet ending to whatever type of day you are having.

So there’s a few random words of unsolicited advice. As always, take with a grain of sugar or two 😉


Retail Therapy

I don’t care what some people say, I firmly believe everyone enjoys retail therapy to some degree. Whether you are buying ammo or new shoes, or shopping for others or yourself, it makes no difference. There is a part of you that really, really feels good about it.

For some guys, it may be a very tiny part, but it’s there. Especially if it involves booze. Or bacon. Or bullets.

We women get a bad rap for it, but we don’t all follow the norm. For example, I have three sisters. Last evening Sister #2 called to tell me she had bought some furniture for the empty room upstairs, and was so giddy about it she was giggling. Sister #3 sent an MMS to all of us showing her new shoes, which she purchased at a major discount (And I mean MAJOR: Nicole Miller heels for $4.98). And Sister #4 and I (I’m Sister #1, in case y’all wondered) usually SQUEEE over the Lolita glasses we *ahem* acquire. The funny thing is, it doesn’t have to be expensive or blingy or showy for retail therapy to work its magic on your psyche.

he-went-to-jared-640x721

It just has to make you happy. Admittedly, a gorgeous diamond ring would make most women happy, and a Ferrari would make most men happy, too. But high maintenance would take away that first blush of happiness and replace it with resentment soon enough. Not that I would know first hand about that, though.

Sure would be fun to try it for a few weeks, though 😉


Forget Hoverboards

Next year is 2015, the year Marty McFly went to the future.

hoverboard lol

I don’t care about a hoverboard. They short over water anyway. But there are some things I do want with the coming future.

  1. A dryer that folds your clothes. Lost in Space had one. We’ve had over 50 years to come up with one and the only meaningful improvement on a dryer is the addition of wrinkle guard.
  2. Over-the-counter codeine. Australia has it, for goodness’ sake! Then again everything there can kill you, so maybe that’s why.
  3. Coffee I.V. Surely this is viable by now??
  4. Instant nail color. Zorg’s secretar– I mean, administrative assistant had a gizmo in The Fifth Element that would change your nail color and had NO DRYING TIME. I’m tired of gnats landing on my nail polish before it’s dry.

If I had to pick just one of the above, I would be hard pressed between coffee I.V. and the dryer. I’m sure the dryer would win out after a few nanoseconds of thought on the matter. After all, there’s Keurig now, right?

Seriously, tech gods, is this too much to ask?? 😀


Thursday Never List

The other day I had the misfortune of jamming my nail into the back of a chair, causing the nail to bend back and rip from the bed in a very alarming, not to say painful manner.

I cried like a little girl. I admit it.

Once I took care of the bleeding and the whining, I went to look for a bandage to hold my nail down so that it wouldn’t rip any further.

Nothing in my medicine cabinet.

Nothing in the medicine basket in the kitchen.

Nothing in the first aid kit.

Finally I find a box of bandages buried under who knows how many empty bottles and leftover soaps and dried up nail polishes inside the kids’ bath cabinet. So, I am remedying that oversight today. And cleaning out the crap that has collected due to lazy kids.

meds

Stuff One Should Never Be Without in a Medicine Cabinet

#5– Aspirin

Be all and end all of pain relievers, acne sufferers, and let’s not forget those with heart issues.

#4– Isopropyl alcohol

I have to make that distinction. Otherwise, people would stock Everclear™.

#3– Bandages

Blood is sure pretty, unless it’s your own.

#2– Bismuth solution

For every abdomen ailment. And it’s pink! BONUS!!

#1– Topical antibiotic

I must have seventeen tubes of Neosporin™, Lanacane™, and Bacitracin™ all over the house. And I’m of the opinion it’s STILL not enough.

Anyway, I hope y’all have a wonderful Thursday and enjoy the day not needing any of these items. I’m off to clean out the massive collection of crap under the cabinet. Here’s hoping none of it is radioactive by now 🙂


It’s Tuesday??

I didn’t forget to write a post. Honest! I just had to take a break for a bit due to pretty much not having a topic on which to ramble. Sometimes I want to discuss serious issues here, but then I remember that this blog is fluff for fun.

Some of the stuff I did for fun:

Cleaned under the refrigerator and searched for loose change. Found $1.13.

Counted my vast Lolita glass collection. Still aghast that it is not complete.

Watched K-grade movies. Yes, they were that bad.

Acquired an old table that my neighbor was throwing out. Recycling is *in*.

So that was my fun for the past few days. It’s not much, but sure is a change from this meet or that concert or that play all the time. Still, this post took me several hours to write, which should tell you that either I have a slight case of attention deficit, or that my life is really that boring.

llama in pool

I think it’s more the latter than the former.

Hope y’all enjoy the rest of your Tuesday 🙂


Blood, Sweat, and Tears

Also known as Valentine’s Day!

Sorry about skipping yesterday’s TNL, but I had to go downtown to pay the property taxes, which took HOURS since there was some sort of spill on the highway, which meant I had to take backroads that were scary enough to send me into prayer, and then arrive to stand in line among the living and the dead (they had been there so long), and finally, painfully hand over a cheque to the smiling young clerk. By the time I made it home, it was too late to make dinner, much less write a post.

And there ends my justification.

Anyway, back to Valentine’s Day. Around here, I don’t really celebrate it for myself as much as I do for the kids and Hubby. It’s not that I am jaded on the holiday. It’s just that loving someone shouldn’t require a specific day. But that doesn’t mean I don’t try to make the day special in some way. So here is a list of things one should never forget to do for their loved ones.

lego sith valentine

#5– Carry their burden

Big or small, physical or emotional, it doesn’t matter as long as you make it your own, even for a short time.

#4– Wash their hair

Or give them a foot rub, or massage their shoulders. Anyone that watched Out of Africa knows what I’m talking about.

#3– Be their harbor

No matter what the trouble, be there to offer them safety. You are their shield.

#2– Listen

No matter that it’s gossip or complaints, just listen to them. Usually that is all we want anyway.

#1– Tell them you love them

Sometimes we forget to do that. So don’t.

Anyway, I hope y’all enjoy today, be it in celebration of Valentine’s Day or because it’s Friday finally. I’m going with the latter 😉


The Year of the Horse

It’s my year. I was born in the Year of the Horse, four cycles this year.

Quick, do the math. Done? Ok, moving on.

I have never been a fan of horses the way some people are. I think they are beautiful and graceful, and have a rather dry sense of humor. But my one encounter with horses left me scarred and frightened for life a bit wary of them. And yet Frederic Remington is one of my favorite artists, and I love the way horses are portrayed in Chinese art. The neighbor down the street has one in his garden and I keep hoping he puts it in a garage sale so I can get my hands on it.

I tend to covet weird, inconsequential things, like glass buttons and tin cans. Don’t ask.

Anyway, my dad gave me a wonderful gift this past weekend. It had been his for years, a gift from a good friend, and now it is mine.

carved horse

So now I have my very own horse to celebrate the year of my birth, even though I am Puerto Rican and Catholic and not Chinese and Buddhist. And this is the only way I will ever have a horse in this house. We already have a Rat, and Snake, and I refuse to tend a Pig.

Just as well Dragons are on the endangered list, too 😀


Sunday Sithy

Do you ever wake up disoriented from a weird dream and feel the dream follows you when you’re awake?

That’s how my day started.

Last night I fell asleep watching The Fifth Element, and woke up to Mimic, and of course cockroaches with Jean Paul Gauthier costumes were involved in my dream. And as all of humanity was succumbing to the giant cockroaches’ will to rule the galaxy (I think that’s from Men in Black) while infiltrating our brains (maybe The Wrath of Khan), all I could think about is how they got such tiny rooster feathers to fit around the necks of their fur coats. So, this morning as I go to the kitchen to feed the Sheltie, I see a weird shaped leaf on the tile and immediately freak out because it looks like a cockroach sporting a cane. But it was just a leaf with a stem. Once again, this is why I shouldn’t eat sweets late in the evening.

So, here’s a Sithy to cleanse the insect fashion palate.

maury vader lol

My late BIL Draco would have snorted his coffee out his nose at that 😀

Hope y’all have a wonderful Sunday!!


Thursday Never List

Baby, it’s cold outside.

We were blessed with winter again. Hail last night, sleet this morning, and ice on the roads. And do you see me complaining?? Nope. Not one bit. Why? Because I could be in Pennsylvania or Michigan. By the same logic, I could be in Australia and enjoying summer. Glass half empty or half full? It doesn’t matter as long as there’s more wine to fill it.

Anyway, the weather got me to thinking. Yes, sometimes the synapses fire off. Living in Texas, we tend to enjoy mild winters for the most part. But we do get our share of ice and sn*w. And that’s when we step into the Outer Limits™ because apparently three sn*wflakes can shut down the area. However, there are some steps we in the South can take to be ready for the unforeseen.

winter squirrel lol

Winter Gear to Never Do Without

#5– Head covering

A hat, a scarf, anything that would keep your body heat from dissipating out through your head is necessary. Unless you like tears freezing on your cheeks. Then that’s ok.

#4– Ice scraper

Nothing worse than cracking your windshield while pouring hot water over the ice. Not good at all.

#3– Sand

In case of ice or slush, or kitty litter is good too. Also good for your enemies gas tanks. So I hear.

#2– Extra socks

Because you never know if that icy patch is solid.

#1– Blanket or throw

If ever you are stuck and need warmth, or for visiting your inlaws who think 45* F is breezy and healthy for you. You can never have too many throws. Ever.

Just a disclaimer: I am from Puerto Rico, and reside in Texas. I am more than sure EVERYONE north of the Mason-Dixon line has better advice, so please do chime in 🙂


Is This *Really* What You’re Looking For??

I was over at The Bloggess the other day, and as usual I ended up snorting coffee out through my nose while reading her blog. I must say some of the search terms people use to arrive at her site are…. intriguing. Out of curiosity, I looked up the search terms at Sithy, and I must say, there are some odd people out there.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that. At all.

Besides, there is coffee for that, right?

coffee dark side lol

So here are some of the search terms for this past week:

I got my voodoo doll out — Look, I get it, but you really should keep that to yourself. I certainly don’t need the NSA knocking on my door for someone else’s voodoo. I got special brand of crazy without adding to it.

Nobody move I just cleaned the house — Why in the heck would you come to THIS blog for THAT?? As if!!

козы плавают в море — I’m at a loss here.

Squirrels with lightsabers Never gets old.

Mmmm — Candy, food, drink…what??

Kilt exposed — If only!!

Hope y’all have a great Tuesday, and feel free to translate. But only is it’s family friendly 😉