As y’all know from yesterday, my mom is coming for a visit and I am in full panic mode. And by that I mean I am obviously sitting at my laptop wasting precious time.
If you wait until the last minute, it only takes a minute, right? RIGHT??
It doesn’t matter how often I tell myself, “Aggie, why not do this, or that, and get it out of the way before X comes over?” Usually when I do ask myself that, my other self retorts with, “HELLO?? Drama isn’t going to read itself, you know!” It’s a vicious cycle. At least it’s not viscous. That’s a whole other level my other other self would love to dissect.
I love my selfs. Heh!
Anyway, when it comes to cleaning, there are some things one should never skip. I mean it. Some things you can’t just ignore. It’s like giving Godzilla a key to Tokyo and a coupon for all-you-can-eat. Maybe that doesn’t make sense to y’all, but it sounded pretty awesome in my head.
Cleaning Jobs One Should Never Skip
#5– Refrigerator bins
Ignore it, and next thing you know the tomatoes are conspiring with the lemons to kill the lettuce and take over the fridge.
#4– Garbage disposer
Disposal… disposer… poh-tay-toh… poh-tah-toh. No matter what you call it, that little contraption hides all sorts of gunk and can really stink up the house.
#3– Towels
Any towel used for the express purpose of drying, be it a body or a dish, will start to smell of stagnant pond water.
#2– Stove pans
You know how you start cooking and suddenly the delish dish smells of dead rodent? Yeah, that’s why.
#1- Commode
Y’all should know this would be #1. If you didn’t then you have issues, and should call Molly Maidβ’ ASAP.
And those are my tips for today. Remember, the floor can be crunchy or sticky, as long as A) it’s not from bones or blood, 2) people wear shoes, and iii) Legos are safely stored away.
Those suckers can pierce leather π
January 16th, 2014 at 9:45 AM
Find an out of the way closet.
shove everything inside.
pour glass of wine.
January 16th, 2014 at 11:20 AM
All closets are full.
*sobs in glass of wine*
January 16th, 2014 at 11:26 AM
Respect the Lego.
January 16th, 2014 at 11:28 AM
Word.
January 16th, 2014 at 11:29 AM
Dammit, stupid replying from phone.
If closets are full, use backyard storage shed. If shed full, dig pit in back yard, fill with stuff, douse with diesel fuel, apply match (ensure bodies are at bottom of pile to avoid awkward questions).
January 16th, 2014 at 2:11 PM
*makes mental note*
January 19th, 2014 at 2:13 AM
Yes, diesel covers so many sins. If we ever move, our bonfire will be seen from space.
January 16th, 2014 at 3:37 PM
Time for a garage sale this summer then?
January 16th, 2014 at 4:26 PM
Summer? You mean next Saturday when she is here π
January 16th, 2014 at 7:10 PM
Phone a friend who has a truck and garage for the weekend?
January 16th, 2014 at 7:56 PM
BIL has a truck π
January 16th, 2014 at 7:56 PM
Oh, and a clean garage!! WHOO HOO!!
January 16th, 2014 at 9:46 AM
RFH calls the refrigerator bins “rotter drawers.”
I thought that was pretty accurate.
January 16th, 2014 at 10:26 AM
Ya beat me to it. They are sure as heck not “crispers”.
January 16th, 2014 at 11:21 AM
Totally! Only thing that crisps in there is my patience.
January 16th, 2014 at 10:05 AM
I would submit that the commode could be either #1 or #2.
January 16th, 2014 at 11:24 AM
Punny π
January 16th, 2014 at 10:44 AM
If you have to wear a level 4 hazmat suit when you take out the trash, you waited too long.
All of the things on your list are reasons to have children. That way, you don’t have to do it. On the other hand, the child will swear that you are abusing them by making do these chores, and if your refrigerator or kitchen or bathroom are like mine, they may have a darn good case, if the judge is stupid and liberal (redundant) enough
January 16th, 2014 at 11:27 AM
It’s because of the kids those chores are bad π
January 16th, 2014 at 12:52 PM
If you wait until the last minute, it only takes a minute, right?
This is my wife, exactly.
January 16th, 2014 at 1:17 PM
You make it sound like it’s a bad thing… π
January 16th, 2014 at 3:07 PM
Wife: “honey, what’s on TV?”
Me: “dust, bring me a beer.”
January 16th, 2014 at 4:25 PM
And then the fight started…
January 16th, 2014 at 5:21 PM
Big like, oh Sithy One.
January 16th, 2014 at 7:56 PM
Danke π
January 16th, 2014 at 9:25 PM
If you’re gonna clean, clean the toilets … if you MUST clean! π
January 17th, 2014 at 9:15 AM
Right on! And nice to see you again!
January 17th, 2014 at 6:49 AM
“I love my selfs. Heh!”
And so so we. They are all very entertaining. π
January 17th, 2014 at 9:16 AM
Indeed, until one of them asks, “What is THAT supposed to mean??”
Then all hell breaks loose π
January 17th, 2014 at 7:50 AM
Lemons are awesome for cleaning the garbage disposal. If you don’t have any, a couple good squirts of dish soap with warm running water will do the trick, too.
Oh yeah, don’t forget to clean the top of the refrigerator. One time, I ran my finger on top of ours and what was on my finger reminded me of a cross between moss and axle grease. Took a heck of a lot of soft scrub to get that puppy clean.
On a personal note, I am pleased to say that our Christmas Tree is still up.
I guess I’ll get to it tomorrow.
Or, should I put it off until next week? I can’t decide.
January 19th, 2014 at 2:17 AM
Rice (uncooked) with bleach and soap works wonders. Rice also cleans spice grinders like new.
January 17th, 2014 at 12:57 PM
Hey LC Aggie, how did I miss this? Nice to find you again.
January 17th, 2014 at 1:02 PM
Howdy, Maggie!
I have been remiss about commenting, but not about lurking. I have to rectify that.
Especially since you have a wine blog π
January 19th, 2014 at 10:26 PM
Speaking of lurking, I’m surprised no one clued you to this….
http://soylentrefuge.blogspot.com/2014/01/lcthe-early-years.html?showComment=1390186180360#c916615241416072862
January 22nd, 2014 at 9:10 AM
Don’t forget the floor around the commode, especially if there’s any males in the house…
And the inside of the garbage can, before you put a new liner in it…
January 22nd, 2014 at 9:38 AM
No kidding…UGH!!