I’m Turning Into My Grandma

I have passed the turning-into-my-mom stage and gone straight to plaid, apparently.

Let me tell you, she loved, LOVED those cookies. But we seldom got to eat any because she got to them first. And then came the disappointment as we sneaked into the kitchen and found the tin under the cabinet, and opened it to find needles and thread. Or tape and pencils. Or ANYTHING BUT COOKIES.

And now guess what?

I can’t wait to finish the cookies so I can use the tin to hold my crap.

*sobs uncontrollably*

At least I get cookies out of this 🙂

Conversations With the Sheltie

She’s not technically my dog. But that doesn’t stop her from acting like it.

Every morning it’s the same conversation. I get up, and she jingles over to my door in expectation that her mistress will cater to her needs. I give her some kibble, and after she inhales it she runs over to the door and barks her command.

“YIP YIP, YIP!!!”

(Open the door, NOW!!)

Once she is done, she lets me know, again…

“YIP!!”

(I’m DONE!!)

Then she waits patiently for 7 AM. Why? Because Son’s friend comes over to pick him up.

“YIP!! YIP YIP YIP YIP!!! YIP YIP!!”

(OMG!! YOU’RE HERE!! YOU’RE HERE!! MOM, SHE’S HERE!!)

Then Hubby makes an entrance into the kitchen, and she shuts up. She knows better than to rile him early. But once he walks out to the car, she starts up again.

“YIP YIP YIP!! YIP YIP YIP!!”

(There is a person WALKING OUTSIDE!!!)

Whereupon she runs away from any perceived threat, yipping like she has new vocal chords. It’s a good thing the house quietens down after a while. I would hate to do impromptu surgery on a dog. 😀

Thursday Never List

I am a fan of sugar. I love it. Candy is dandy, y’all. I am the type that takes her time savoring sugar, be it a candy bar or hard candy. No matter, it is sugar and it should be properly consumed. But every wonderful thing has a flip side, and sometimes you have to draw the line, even where your sweet tooth is concerned. You can imagine the angst I feel during Halloween.

It’s hellish, y’all.

No Sense Candy

#5– Baby Bottle Pop

Sucking on a candy pacifier may indicate severe mental trauma. Same goes for the stupid ring pops.

#4– Push Pops

Uh, if I have to work at getting the candy, it’s not worth the trouble.

#3– Eyeballs

I had to eat sheep eyes once, and this just sends me into paroxysms of rage.

#2– Spiced Candy

Wasabi, jalapeno, serrano, jolokia, I don’t care. NO SPICY PEPPERS belong in candy. EVER.

#1– Insect Lollipops

Whoever thought coating a dead scorpion in hard candy was a good idea should be rotting in Hades.

Now, time to eat some chocolate to wash out the bad taste from this post 😉

Tourism, Texas Style

I love my state. There is always some exotic attraction no matter where you are. And by “exotic”, I don’t mean a gentleman’s club. Though there’s a few of those too. No, I mean weird.

Today we shall be going here. That’s right, the SNAKE FARM!!!

ZOMG!!! Isn’t he adorable?? But it’s not just a reptile place. They have a petting zoo and rescue exotics from around the world. The farm was featured on an episode of Dirty Jobs, and Mike Rowe was a snake handler. He was thisclose to me and I missed out. It still pains me to this day. Anyway, we hope to catch a show or maybe feeding time. A LIVE feeding!!

And then we shall go to lunch 😀

The Ides of November

Well, due to circumstances beyond his control, my friend Tiberius will be my guest for the remainder of his stay in our fair country. And by country, I mean Texas. And good thing, too. We had a great itinerary the last time he was with us.

And we completed it ALL.

That’s right. Even #10 was completed. And the chances of THAT one were infinitesimal. And I do mean itty bitty tiny.

So now we have to find other stuff to do.

• Vineyard tour and wine tasting: Scheduled.
• Glass bottom tour: Scheduled.
• Gun range: Scheduled.
• Riverwalk: Scheduled.
• Moar gun range: Scheduled.
• Birthday shenanigans: Scheduled.
• Cavern adventure tour: Scheduled.
• Anything else that comes up: Scheduled.
• Thanksgiving feast: Scheduled X2.

That’s right: we are having not one, but TWO Thanksgiving feasts. Why? Because we are blessed with so many friends and family and there ain’t no house that can contain such bounty. Anyway, time for me to get going. The tours won’t wait, and neither will we 😀

Thursday Never List for Friday

Running late, because the White Rabbit is off smoking a hooka or something.

And by that I mean I had to pick up Tiberius from the airport and clean house beforehand. At least I cleaned the kids’ bathroom.

So here’s a list of random Nevers for y’all.

Random Never List

#5– Never Go Anywhere Without ID

I cannot stress the importance of this. Especially in Bangkok.

#4– Never Pass Up the Opportunity to Dance

There is no such thing as a bad dancer when you are enjoying yourself, Elaine.

#3– Never Give Up Your Principles

They are worth far more to you than to others.

#2– Never Confuse Kindness With Flattery

The results can be bad. Really bad.

#1– Never, Ever Pass Up a Good Thing

*SMOOOCH*

Hope y’all have a wonderful Friday 😉

Ever Had a Day That Started Off in the Middle of the Night and Looks to End Sometime Tomorrow?

Looks like today is THAT day.

I have been up for seven hours and have accomplished absolutely nothing.

And I just remembered I have to make a few dozen Christmas cards.

And start the Thanksgiving menu.

And figure out how to fit 20 people in the house.

And oh yes, CLEAN HOUSE.

I’m going to go lay down now.

To Those Who Served

A profound and heartfelt thanks.

For my husband, and my brothers-in-law, my neighbors, and my friends.

And for my brother Draco, who never failed to call and thank all of those he knew.

We can never repay what you have sacrificed for your country.

Thursday Never List

As a rule, I am not one to buy into hype. Much. Sure, I see some gorgeous model trying to get you to buy mascara that will make your lashes visible from the moon, and I am so there. But that’s pretty much as far as I go. Ok, that and kitchen stuff. BUT THAT’S IT!!

For the most part, As Seen on TV stuff tends to go away faster than seem to stick around. Others tend to live in infamy.

Things Never to Buy From TV

#5– My Secret Hair Enhancer Aerosol

Gentlemen, spraying a bald spot will only bring attention to it.

#4– Slim Away Body Wrap

Just FYI, Saran Wrap™ is way cheaper. So I hear.

#3– Perfect Pancake Pan

If you suffer from serious OCD issues, this is the pan for you. If you don’t, any regular pan will work.

#2– Perfect Polly Pet

If you don’t know, that is an animatronic parakeet. That’s really all you need to know.

#1– Pajama Jeans

No, just no.

Now, there are some fun things out in TV Pitchland that I admit I own. First up would be none other than the ShamWOW. That sucker has worked like a charm, and I don’t regret buying it for a minute.

Next up, a Chia Pet™ 😀

Where Did the Week Go??

Oh, right.

Today finds me doing all the mundane stuff I put off while my friend was visiting. Sure, I put it off using the excuse of the visit. Who wouldn’t?? Exactly! Anyway, laundry can no longer be hidden must be done. But I figure I have time for a random drive-by post full of delicious nothingness.

Next to beer braised beef, that is my speciality.

I think my favorite kitchen utensil is my Santoku knife.

There are four different flavors of fudge in the refrigerator right now. There will be three by this evening, I’m sure.

There is nothing so comforting as eating a bowl of hearty soup while a cold front moves in.

Never clean up fallen acorns. It’s deer crack, and you get to enjoy fattening up venison while they clean it up and fertilize your lawn. Total win.

It is unethical to raid your kid’s Halloween candy stash. It is far more acceptable to beg and plead for candy and embarrass them in front of their friends.

Never pass up the opportunity to buy something for yourself. It doesn’t matter if it’s a dress or a saucepan.

And more importantly, never pass up the opportunity to be kind. The rewards are beyond rubies.

Anyway, time for me to get moving. I have spent enough time trolling for makeup and jewelry reading online. Y’all have a great day!! 😀