Thursday Never List

I love books. I love to read. I still own the first paperback I ever bought with my own money (Wuthering Heights, by Emily BrontΓ«). Books are a pathway into another life, in a way. They are my escape from my mundane life. And the stuff you learn from a casual reference is limitless.

Seriously, that’s how I learned what an aglet was. Never mind that it was in some poorly written, psychotic science fiction thriller. I still learned something. But there are some books I could never ever read, or even finish reading.

stacked books

#5– Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus

How could anyone not know men and women are different from each other?

#4– The Da Vinci Code

I can’t get past the second chapter before screaming at it.

#3– What to Expect When You’re Expecting

Pregnancy is like the weather. One would be foolish to attempt to predict either one.

#2– The Great Gatsby

I realize that this book is considered a classic and has a very devoted following. But for me, it is rather pretentious and shallow.

#1– Anything and Everything Written by James Joyce

Never trust a man who never used punctuation.

There are plenty of badly written books out there, and plenty of well-written sleepers that never get the attention they deserve. The trick is to figure out which is which πŸ˜‰

About LC Aggie Sith

Machete-wielding zombie killer when not shopping for shoes. View all posts by LC Aggie Sith

49 responses to “Thursday Never List

  • xbradtc

    I utterly loathe The Great Gatsby. Unfortunately, my AmLit teacher in HS used that as the cornerstone of her entire course.

  • RabidAlien

    I love reading, but unfortunately have had to sell back most of the books I’ve bought for either space or finance reasons. Books I’ve had to read, but will never read again, include The Great Gatsby (dude was a pretentious douchebag who was sleeping with another guy’s wife, ended up killing her, and didnt’ feel bad at all about it. He got what he deserved.) and The Hunchback of Notre Dame (I’ll never need to visit Paris, now, since a quarter of the book goes into intricate street-by-street detail of each section of the city…and the rest of the book is as morbid as those parts are dull.). One book I’ve started reading but can never get past the first section is “The Silmarillion” by J.R.R. Tolkien. Love his other books, have read them multiple times…but I can never get into The Silmarillion. Other books that are bad enough for me to stop reading them, I’ve brain-flushed the titles/authors. Thankfully.

    • RabidAlien

      Oh, add Joel Osteen to that list of “I’ll never read another of his books”. But that’s a can of worms to be opened in another post.

    • LC Aggie Sith

      We should start a reading club and send books to each other!!

      • RabidAlien

        That’d be cool! My bookshelves tend heavily towards WW2 history, though, with a smattering of WW1 (current book is a biography on Eddie Rickenbacker…never knew he was a race-car driver/mechanic/engineer prior to being a pilot!), Korea, Vientam, and Iraq here and there. I’ve a few favorite series of sci-fi/fantasy, as well, but most of those I tend to not re-read (already know what’s going to happen, so there’s no magic in rereading, unless its something like Robert Jordan’s Wheel of Time series, which is so effing long [but good] that I invariably pick up new/forgotten details as I re-read) and end up reselling. But, yeah, a book club could be fun!

    • Reiuxcat

      It took me a couple of starts to get through “The Silmarillion” and I don’t think I’ll read it again. It’s more a dry history book.

      I was supposed to read “The Plague” by Albert Camus for sophomore lit at A&M but as I saved the course for my last semester and seniors could be exempted from finals and I got it, I didn’t have to finish it. So glad.

      It did inspire the name for my tuxedo cat which I use for my handle. (Yes, yes, it’s spelled wrong.)

  • Reiuxcat

    The Feminine Mystique by Freidan was required reading for American History part II. Gahhh!!! I’m glad she never tested us on it.

  • Jess

    I don’t know if you ever read any of Bill O’Reilly’s books, but if you have, you might consider adding them to your list. If not, you might consider adding them to your list.

    • LC Aggie Sith

      HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I haven’t read any, so thanks for the heads up πŸ˜‰

    • Ogrrre

      You are right on the money, Jess. O’Reilly’s books are like O’Reilly’s tv show, except no sound. O’Reilly is in love with his own voice and, not unlike the liberals he flames, thinks his ideas are the only correct ideas. At least in his books, he can’t interrupt the people who are agreeing with him on a point. O’Reilly, whether in his books or on television is as pretentious and obnoxious as the Bamster himself.

  • Mitchell

    I wish I’d never read “A Confederacy of Dunces”. There’s not a single character in it that isn’t annoying as hell.

  • Clete Orris

    Thank goodness I had teachers that favored Shakespeare. Unfortunately, I got stuck with reading Gatsby. So, I traveled the 15 miles to Fitzgerald’s burial place to urinate copiously on his grave. In fact, I drank a few more beers while there and went a second time, just to make sure.

    I also got saddled with A Tale of Two Cities. One day, I swear I’m gonna defecate on Dickens’ grave. Twice.

    As a youth, I enjoyed Salinger’s sordid tale, Catcher in the Rye. Having re-read it as an adult, I wanted to find Holden Caulfield, beat the living tar out of him for his epic douchiness, then travel back in time and kick my 16 year old ass on principle alone.

    And at risk of being denounced for not being open minded, I swear upon all that is holy that I will NEVER read the Quran. The only passages of the Quran I will use, are the passage of its pages across my rectal sphincter, if I run out of Charmin.

  • Guy S

    Clete, I have read the Quran…lousy story…the fake pedophile prophet did it, with the pipe, in the conservatory.

    Seriously, it is worth reading, only because it gives a bit of a glimpse as to what is behind all the madness. If nothing else it pays to know your enemy just a little bit better.

    • LC Aggie Sith

      Watching Fitna would be more than enough. I had to read some of it for my World Religions class, back when it was truthfully explained.

      Oh, and NEVER take the game of Clue™ in vain again πŸ˜›

  • Guy S

    Books I have regretted reading.. Just about anything by Vounagut. (And so it goes) Was never a fan of Steven King either. Never finished Gatsby (and thank the stars, was never required to read it). Have grown to like Steinbeck (especially Travels With Charlie) and Hemingway is fine in small doses.

    Joyce, Milton, (for the classical classics) Updike, (some) Roth, and most other current clap trap passing as culture/commentary is IMHO crap. (Oprah and her bookclub be damned).

    As for the Silmarillion, I always though of it as anecdotal to LOTR…filler if you will. But it did seem to be a whole lot dryer reading.

  • roamingfirehydrant

    Dear sweet Cathy tried to get us all to read a book together, and she picked “A Confederacy of Dunces”. I couldn’t finish it, it was so awful.

    Rocketboy had to read “The Great Gatsby” and “A Separate Peace” for English. I finished them, but man, they sucked.

  • John D

    Can’t find any fault with your “Never List”, but Wuthering Heights would top my “books I despise” list. Reading it for HS English class was like being put to the rack, burned at the stake, and beheaded. πŸ˜›

    • LC Aggie Sith

      I like it because it shows the tragedy of intransigence. And that they die apart. And even in death, they still have Edgar, the poor sap she married, there with them.

      I admit, I like love stories that end tragically πŸ˜€

    • RabidAlien

      We had a choice in Humanities class my senior year, “Wuthering Heights” or “Frankenstein” (Mary Shelley’s version). Of course, I chose Franks. (hehehe) Slow to start, but that apparently was the way books were written back in the day, and it was a LOT easier to wade through the early chapters than “Hunchback”. I was actually surprised to find myself enjoying the book, and it was my first introduction to “Hollywood loves to make movies based on book titles and covers without ever reading more than the back of the book”. The fact that I have actually done book reports based on what was printed on the dust jacket, and got good grades, is immaterial and nothing more than coincidence.

  • Critter

    I read a lot of history and biography, with a fair amount of Greek and other classical stuff on the burner right now. As for fiction I tend toward David Drake and David Weber, tho Weber has began pissing me off recently (Out Of The Dark). Deus ex machina should be used sparingly.

    What won’t I read again? Most of the science fiction I read in my youth. Pretentious, juvenile trash, most of it. I’ll keep Asimov and Heinlein (the stuff before his personal sexual kinks started creeping in) and Laumer (he was a diplomat so his Retief stories are very well done) but the rest went to the second hand book store years ago.

    The Silmarilloin is history, plain enough and I don’t blame anyone who can’t get through it. It’s pretty dry and a little confusing (all of the elf ancestor’s names start with F) but it leads to a deeper understanding of Tolkien’s world and leads into the wonderful Book of Lost Tales and the Unfinished Tales, which are ‘stories’, not history, and so read easier.

    I really think the Fitzgerald got a lot right in Gatsby. He wanted to portray the Greatest Douche in the Age of Douchebaggery and he largely got it right. As a cautionary tale it’s pretty good.

    Wuthering Heights. What can I say? I think I’d rather take a beating than be required to read that one again. After 11th grade Lit was over I took my copy out to the local slate quarry and shot holes in it with the trusty .22.

  • Critter

    I didn’t say everyone payed attention. :p

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