Hostess with the Hostess Cupcakes

Sorry for my absence around here. I have been busy hosting our internet friend Tiberius this week. It was rather unexpected but very welcomed, though cramming a bunch of stuff in six days is proving to be a challenge.

This has been the proposed itinerary:

1. Find acceptable costume with which to scare little kids: Check.
2. Stock up the bar with booze to try: Check.
3. Tour the caverns and make fun of idiots on the road: Check.
4. Try Tex-Mex food: Scheduled.
5. Stock up on chocolate candy: Check.
6. Gorge on junkfood: scheduled.
7. THE ALAMO: Damn skippy it’s scheduled.
8. Meet up with internet friends: Scheduled.
9. Gun range: Scheduled.
10. Attend autopsy*: Um, scheduled….

This is just for this week. He plans on coming back and staying for Thanksgiving. Apparently, Australians don’t have a similar celebration. Unless you count Julia Gillard’s ousting. Everyone was thankful for that.

So, things are busy and fun. And tomorrow will be popping what with last minute Halloween stuff. So if y’all will excuse me, I’m off to finish making my wand 😉

*Not mine, so there.

Oh, Sunday….

….how I *heart* you.

The house is quiet, since kids sleep in. The dogs are happy on their patch of sunshine, and the coffee is muy excelente.

Of course, all that will change when football comes on.

But until then, I shall relish the peace and quiet. So until then, enjoy a Sithy.

Hope y’all have a wonderful Sunday 😀

Thursday Never List

I love my kitchen. It’s nice and big and has an island upon which I sacrifice chickens do all my cooking prep. It’s really my favorite part of this house. And with having a kitchen, one must have kitchen gadgets.

Gadgets make the world go round.

However, some gadgets I can do without. Frankly, they tend to either hinder, or make things worse.

When was the last time you wanted an effigy with breakfast?

#5– Electric Potato Peeler

Why save electricity when you can whirr to your heart’s content?

#4– Egg Separator

Using one’s fingers are free.

#3– Banana Case

The world’s perfect food comes in a biodegradable container. Carrying it in a case is overkill.

#2– Salad Scissors

Some people like them, but I prefer to tear the greens with my bare hands. It’s therapeutic. And cheaper.

#1– Egg Cuber

This little gadget makes it possible for one to take a freshly peeled hard-boiled egg and make it cubed with the twist of a screw. Why you would need a square egg AFTER storage is beyond me. Seems to me one would be smarter to come up with a hen that lays square eggs, so you can store them more efficiently.

And there you have it. I have owned some of these. But not the Egg Cuber. I have standards 😀

Off to a Great Start

As some of y’all know, I have been sick this past week. I had the ‘flu and didn’t know it.

Thus proving moms are superhuman.

Anyway, this morning I went to put up last nights dishes, and found the lid to my vintage Pyrex© dish was broken in shards. Son had forgotten to gather and take out the trash. Dogs decided to run outside in the mud because the grass is too wet with dew or something. And then Lenny just had to rush back out the front door, because hey, the garbage collectors were taking OUR TRASH. No, she ran in the mud, not the street. And I just remembered the day-old laundry in the washer.

And yet it’s still a great day. Why? Because *I* could have been broken, or trashed, or muddied, or stinky. And it’s always a good day when you realize that you are none of those things, and that those things are small and don’t control your life in any way.

Remember the blessings, and ignore the crap. Unless you happened to step on it while chasing psycho dogs. Then just wipe it off and move on 😉

Thursday Never List

I love books. I love to read. I still own the first paperback I ever bought with my own money (Wuthering Heights, by Emily Brontë). Books are a pathway into another life, in a way. They are my escape from my mundane life. And the stuff you learn from a casual reference is limitless.

Seriously, that’s how I learned what an aglet was. Never mind that it was in some poorly written, psychotic science fiction thriller. I still learned something. But there are some books I could never ever read, or even finish reading.

#5– Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus

How could anyone not know men and women are different from each other?

#4– The Da Vinci Code

I can’t get past the second chapter before screaming at it.

#3– What to Expect When You’re Expecting

Pregnancy is like the weather. One would be foolish to attempt to predict either one.

#2– The Great Gatsby

I realize that this book is considered a classic and has a very devoted following. But for me, it is rather pretentious and shallow.

#1– Anything and Everything Written by James Joyce

Never trust a man who never used punctuation.

There are plenty of badly written books out there, and plenty of well-written sleepers that never get the attention they deserve. The trick is to figure out which is which 😉

Doom and Gloom

It’s Sunday, and it is a gloomy day out here. It rained all night, and still getting some nice, peaceful rain which is always badly needed around these parts.

Makes me glad I was lazy and decided not to wash the car yesterday.

But in a way I’m not happy about the rain, because it forces my hand into doing the laundry.

And making lunch, instead of going out for fast food.

And did I mention laundry?

Sigh…..

Hope y’all have a lazy Sunday for me 😉

Thursday Never List

A few days ago, I was talking to a friend of mine who has become concerned about the rapid appearance of little wrinkles around her eye area. She told me she bought some wrinkle cream from a high-end cosmetics brand and after recovering from the price she quoted, she went on to say she would even have cosmetic surgery to “fix” the wrinkles. She asked for my opinion on what she should have done to stem the tide of ageing.

She asked a woman who can’t even be bothered to get rid of her gray, much less bother to put on wrinkle cream on her face.

Anyway, it got me to thinking: what cosmetic surgeries would I consider too much?

So here is the Never List of cosmetic surgeries for moi.

#5– Buttock augmentation

I’m sorry, but if I need a cushion, I’ll just get one from the store.

#4– Ear pinning

Nothing a hat or a good haircut wouldn’t help.

#3– Liposuction

I have seen the “suctioning”. I would rather cut any fat out with a machete than go through that.

#2– Implants for the female upper pectoral area*

It’s not that it’s a bad thing. It’s just that I imagine a 1,000 years from now, some archaeologist will be digging a grave and find these globules and think they are a religious artifact. The sad part being, he would be right.

#1– “Stiletto” surgery

Cutting off the pinkie toe so you can wear stiletto shoes?? Back in the 1400’s it was called torture. Now it’s called fashionable.

I love shoes, but not that much 😉

*Sorry for the wording, but the pr0n spam would find the blog otherwise!

ZOMGooooood Stuff

A couple of evenings ago, I asked Hubby what he would like to have for dinner the following day. I always ask, and usually he responds with, “Anything is fine”, which is great. The other night he had an actual request, though: a cream-based dish I hadn’t made in at least a decade.

The man is patient, I’ll give him that.

Anyway, I searched for the recipe and finally found it! I was thrilled because this dish is not for anyone wanting to watch their health. It’s that good!! And to make things even better, very easy to make.

Ok, it’s a crappy photo of it. You’ll just have to trust me on the delish, ok?

Paprika Beef

• 4 Tbsp. butter
• 1½ lbs. flank or skirt steak (I use sirloin, though)
• 2 C. heavy whipping cream
• 2 tsp. sweet paprika (or sharp, if you like it spicy)
• 1 tsp. salt

Heat 2 tsp. of the butter in a pan on medium heat until bubbly. Add half the steak and cook until done to your liking (we like it medium rare here), about three to four minutes per side. Remove to a platter, and do the same with the other half of the steak. Remove to the platter as well. Let it cool a bit, then cut crosswise into strips ¼ inch thick and about two inches long. Or you can cube it.

Raise the heat to high. Add the cream, paprika, and salt to the pan and bring to a boil, stirring with a whisk until well-blended, about four to six minutes, or until the sauce has thickened slightly. Stir in the remaining butter and then return the steak pieces to the pan along with the accumulated juices. Reduce the heat and simmer uncovered until heated through, about three minutes. Serve over buttered noodles or rice. Season to taste.

I’m going to see if it is slow-cooker adaptable. For now, I’m going to enjoy leftovers 😀

The Good Ol’ Days

Lately, I have been on a technology hating kick. I hate my cellphone, I hate my cordless phone, intensely dislike the remotes to the TV, despise the remotes to the sound system, and want to stab the infernal video game systems.

The laptop gets a pass for now, though.

You may be wondering what set this off. Mostly, human nature did. Little One likes to control the TV remotes and hides them so that no one else can change the channel from whatever tripe she is watching. Hubby likes to put the sound system on very loud, as most men like to do. The video games suck life from those who play them. The kids take the cordless phone to some part of the house and forget to place them back on the cradle. That means they are NOT CHARGED when I need it. And as for the cellphone, I just plain hate the texting. One text or two to confirm something is fine. An ENTIRE conversation is a pain in the lower backside. But the worst part??

NOT BEING ABLE TO SLAM THE PHONE DOWN WHEN I AM MADDER THAN A HORNET!!!

How is pressing the end call button supposed to provide satisfaction on that score?? How am I supposed to relay my complete and utter ire at the receiver if I can’t throw it down?? Of sure…. one could argue you can just chuck the phone away, but then I would be providing a free cellphone to an unsuspecting passer-by. Along with unlimited texting, apparently. So no, I shall keep the phone and learn to not answer everything.

But in the meantime, I will be scouring the flea market and thrift stores for an old-fashioned, corded phone. One that is heavy and bulky and can NOT be lost in the house. And one that doesn’t come with an answering machine 😉

Thursday Never List

I was cleaning out my book stash in the garage, when I came across a folly I purchased way back in the ’90s. Not an actual folly. If I had a folly it would be in my backyard. No, I’m referring to a purchased mistake because I was silly enough to follow the dictates of the New York Times bestseller list.

And don’t get me started on the made-for-TV waste of celluloid that was spawned by this waste of a good tree. When I saw Joanne Whaley-Kilmer (she was still married to Val at the time) playing Scarlett, I shrieked, “SCARLETT HAS GREEN EYES, YOU CASTING FOOLS!!!” There are just some things that should not be. And thus the Never List of movies that should never be rebooted.

#5– The Longest Day

I remember a few years ago someone had broached the subject of rebooting this masterpiece. It was shot down faster than an Me 262 before take-off.

#4– The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

I shouldn’t even have to explain this one.

#3– Gone With the Wind

Only Carol Burnett could do it justice. Besides, if Atlanta were to burn, it would be due to riots.

#2– Casablanca

Y’all just know the film would become some kind of politically correct vehicle against the war. ANY war.

#1– The Wizard of Oz

Disney really came close, even so far as to include elements from the 1939 film into Oz, the Great and Powerful. Making a prequel to the masterpiece saved them a lot of headaches. Of course, now that Disney owns the rights to all that is Star Wars, I weep for the future.

Of note, I wanted to add an Honorable Mention: Star Trek. I can not stress how horrified I was to learn of the reboot. I would write about it, but currently I am not on heart medication 😀