September 6, 2013

Thursday Never List, Bumped to Friday

By LC Aggie Sith

So, my day got away from me. But I figure I can still make some crappy list about something. This afternoon I was running errands all over several towns, like a chicken in need of crossing the road. And on the radio some station in New York City was announcing a giveaway for a trip for two to Los Angeles, CA. And my first thought was, during which season? Wildfire? Earthquake? Mudslides? Drought?? I’m sure it is a nice city but for me, it’s just a place to avoid like the plagues.

tourist_warning

So, here is my list of five places I’ll never visit.

#5- Phuket

Sure, it’s a great destination for tourists. That’s why I never want to see it. Besides, just the thought of Thai peppers is enough to make me taste bile.

#4- Cancun

I prefer to fry my skin and get wasted in the comfort of my own country, where I only have to worry about being mugged, and not about being a sacrifice.

#3- Fairbanks, Alaska

I am more than sure it is beautiful. I’ve seen it on the Travel Channel. But where I come from, “sn*w” is a four-letter word.

#2- Calcutta

If I want to see a black hole, I’ll go to the NASA® website.

#1- San Francisco

The only thing I like about it is a former prison. That should tell you just how much I abhor it.

If you have complaints about how late it is, take it up with the management. I hear she deletes as necessary is eminently fair 😉

About LC Aggie Sith

Machete-wielding zombie killer when not shopping for shoes. View all posts by LC Aggie Sith
This entry was posted on Friday, September 6th, 2013 at 9:57 AM and tagged with , and posted in Armchair Tourist, Open Thread. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.

43 responses to “Thursday Never List, Bumped to Friday”

  • B.C.
    September 6th, 2013 at 10:01 AM

    You left out Mecca. 😉

  • reiuxcat
    September 6th, 2013 at 10:11 AM

    Hmmm… I’ve been to Fairbanks and there was no snow. 1st week of June it was.

    (I mainly wanted to go to Cold Foot on the Dalton Highway so I could brag about being North of the Arctic Circle and that is where the drive up and fly back tour started)

  • RabidAlien
    September 6th, 2013 at 10:18 AM

    #1. Anyplace in a state ending in the letters “awaii”. Been there. Hated it.

    #2. Most any place south of the US border. As mentioned in the original post, if they can’t ensure my security and will not allow me to bring the tools with me necessary to ensure the security of myself or my family, then screw em. I can go on vacation and get mugged here at home just fine.

    #3. Japan. No offense, but I’ve read too much WW2 history.

    #4. France. No need to feel effeminate, and I have read too much history.

    #5. Africa. Sorry, but I’ve seen all the lions and giraffes I need to at the local zoo, was just as miserably hot as I would have been had I been in Africa, and saved a butt-load of money (zoo entry fee < African safari package fee).

  • Cruel Wife
    September 6th, 2013 at 12:23 PM

    1. Detroit. Hellfire and damnation, it’s too late for me. Save yourselves.

    2. Anywhere in the Great Plains. Nice people, but too blasted flat.

    3. India. I adore their food, but I couldn’t enjoy myself amongst the poverty, the discrimination, and (supposedly) superior mindset of most Indians I’ve met. Plus the smells. And raw sewage. And the dysentery. Et cetera.

    4. Any place where Islam is the primary religion. I hear London, UK is quickly approaching that list.

    5. New Jersey. Need I explain why?

  • Clete Orris
    September 6th, 2013 at 12:38 PM

    If I wanted to see a black hole, I’d watch news for Mooch sightings.

    I like the mispronunciation of Phuket. That’s about it.

    I’d prefer Anchorage to Fairbanks, but I’d avoid Barrow.

    Been to SF, thought it was a nice city, but not a place I’d live.

  • GuyS
    September 6th, 2013 at 3:47 PM

    Haven’t been to Phucket, though I believe my brother had been there a number of years ago. Would rather go to Australia (where all good Sailors go, when they die.)

    Have been to Anchorage…but not Fairbanks…it was an interesting town…very frontier-sie. The people were very outgoing.

    Cancun..great beaches, good beer (it was cold beer, ergo, it was good beer)…but yeah, even 20 some odd years ago, it was a very contained area that you wanted to stay in. Today, I would pass.

    Other than seeing the Taj-Mahal (sic) I will pass on India. (Though it would be interesting to talk to the plethora of tech support people over there, in person.) So Calcutta is out.

    Which leaves San Francisco. Love to go back and see the Ghirardelli chocolate factory/shop again. And the many dinning establishments/bar on Fisherman’s wharf are well worth an evening out. (Just don’t go relieving your bladder in the alley adjacent to the bar….a story for another time perhaps.) But to stay for any great length of time..or live there….hells no!!

    Places I would go again… Key West; great partying town/island, laid-back is the watchword there. Grand Cayman Island….you can (and should) snorkel there all day long…just remember to use plenty of sun block (experience talking there). Dallas/Ft Worth…good friends/good food/fond memories, and it’s in Texas!! What’s not to like (other than the Cowboys)? Anywhere in Texas. If I ever get the money I WILL be moving back to that state…it can’t happen soon enough. There are other places…but the list is far too long to ramble on here with.

  • Critter
    September 6th, 2013 at 8:51 PM

    NY, NY. Need I explain why?

    California.

    Detroit.

    Any part of Europe except the fringes: Ireland, Easter Europe and I’d do a food tour of Italy in an instant.

  • Bruno
    September 6th, 2013 at 9:11 PM

    Phuket!

  • The Real Dave
    September 10th, 2013 at 11:48 AM

    If they’d clean up the bums and the in-your-face militant gays that like to wave their junk in your face, San Francisco would be a halfway decent town. (Not being homophobic, just don’t enjoy it when they shove it in your face.)

    Fairbanks. I’d like to go up there once in the dead of winter to throw a cup of coffee up in the air and watch it vaporize. Just so I can brag I did it. Once.

    Bangladesh? Rivers and creeks of dysentery and filth. Need I say more?

    North Sentinel Island. Wiki it to find out why I’ll never go there. And why no one else should, either.

    Detroit? I say we take off and nuke the site from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure…

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