August 22, 2013

Thursday Never List

By LC Aggie Sith

I have noticed that several bloggers have a day set aside for blog linking, or lists, or other sundry stuff like funnies. So I decided to start my Thursday Never List™. One can never have too many lists, and at least this one won’t alarm the NSA.

One of the things my brother-in-law Draco and I used to like to talk about was movies. He has his favorites, and so do I. But we also had that list. You know, the movies we would never, EVER watch. EVER!!!! Invariably, one of us would screech at the other in disagreement over a classic, but for the most part we tended to agree on most movies we blacklisted. And so, in honor of my brother Draco, here is my list of the top five movies I’ll never, EVER watch.

kirsten stewart lol

#5- A Nightmare on Elm Street

It doesn’t matter which version, or sequel. I just don’t care to see some chick transmogrified into a cockroach while some dude runs around with finger blades. Though the blades are rather nice.

#4- Twilight

Seriously, who thought sparkly vampires and expressionless twits were a good combination?

#3- The Notebook

Nicholas Sparks writes the same book with a different title every year.

#2- Avatar

Not to be confused with M. Night Shyamalan’s torturous homage to Nickelodeon’s Avatar: The Last Airbender, this film is so riddled with politics and plot holes, I would just as soon clip my nails in a Cuisinart™ than watch more than the ten minutes I wasted.

Ok, this is where y’all will probably hate me.

#1- Top Gun

Can’t stand that over-rated, couch-jumping, peacocking whiner.

So, that’s my Thursday Never List. Feel free to admonish me for never having watched Top Gun. I get that a lot 😀

About LC Aggie Sith

Machete-wielding zombie killer when not shopping for shoes. View all posts by LC Aggie Sith
This entry was posted on Thursday, August 22nd, 2013 at 4:11 PM and tagged with , and posted in Brainworm, Fun Stuff. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.

73 responses to “Thursday Never List”

  • clintbird
    August 22nd, 2013 at 4:46 PM

    I’ve never seen one of her/those movies. Don’t intend to. People apparently are too easily distracted.

  • Lemur King
    August 22nd, 2013 at 5:03 PM

    Elm St. was overrated. Twilight… Meh. The Notebook. Never heard of it.

    Avatar sucked and blew to infinity and beyond, it was stuffed so full of tropes.

    You didn’t miss much with Top Gun. It was Karate Kid with big planes.

    Your time would be far better spent watching “Tucker and Dale vs. Evil” with Alan Tudyk.

  • RabidAlien
    August 22nd, 2013 at 6:26 PM

    Elm St….didn’t even scare me when I was a kid…just saw that type of movie as a “how many ways can we kill people” excuse to get rid of bloodbags that were about to expire.

    Avatar….I’m on the fence. On one hand, it was epic Sci-Fi with some awesome graphics. On the other hand….it was an epic Sci-Fi rewrite of the “Dances With Wolves” script. I’ll watch it, but only cuz the voices in my head are convinced that her necklace cannot, by any laws of physics, ALWAYS cover everything with just three beads.

    Top Gun….wrong guy in the plane gets killed. Goose was the best part of that movie. Having grown up on Air Force bases, I swear I had met him at some point.

    Twilight….I’m not a hormonal, angsty teenage girl, so its not my demographic. Saw them ‘cuz Serenity liked the series (she’s not a teen, though…). Wish I hadn’t.

    Notebook…good sex-scene, they glossed over his WW2 experiences waaaaaaaay too much for my history-loving butt to enjoy the movie all that much. Besides, life very rarely, if ever, brings two people together so perfectly. Romance just isn’t like that. Call me a cynic…you wouldn’t be the first.

    As for movies I’ll never watch:

    #1: Anything with Lionardo DiCrappio. “Titanic” is a “maybe”, depending on where I walk in to the movie….mainly cuz of Rose’s epic ta-ta’s and the fact that Leo dies at the end (had many evil glares thrown my way when I saw that in the theater and cheered).

    #2: Anything that starts with “Austin Powers”. Just….no.

    #3: Anything that starts with “Brokeback”.

    #4: Romantic comedies. They’re either depressing, or cause deep anger. Or both.

    • LC Aggie Sith
      August 22nd, 2013 at 6:34 PM

      I don’t care for Leo, either. Only saw the first Austin Powers. Skipped Brokeback, AKA The Rape of the Marlboro Man, and as far as romantic comedies, I tend to avoid all. Life is far funnier than anything movies can possibly show.

  • MCPO Airdale
    August 22nd, 2013 at 6:28 PM

    Top Gun was my life back then!

    Oh, wait a minute! They never really showed Sailors making sure those jets “screamed” for the Aviators. Damn! Never mind.

  • Clete Orris
    August 22nd, 2013 at 6:54 PM

    I’ve seen 4 of them. Not saying I enjoyed them.

    I’ll admit enjoying the flight scenes in Top Gun.

    Watching a bed swallow a teenage chick, then vomit her out in a Vesuvius of blood was kinda cool in Elm Street.

    I visited Seattle shortly after the Twilight crap hit the screens. Everything was all about Team Edward or Team Jacob. I suggest Team Shut The Fuck Up And Get A Life.

    Avatar had blue alien boobs. BOOBS. Heh.

    Who writes a fucking story about a goddamn notebook anyway?

  • Nicole
    August 22nd, 2013 at 7:18 PM

    I have seen 3 of them. Top Gun is indeed overrated. 🙂

  • Car in
    August 22nd, 2013 at 7:25 PM

    American Beauty

    Brokeback Mountain

    Bridges of Madison County

  • Guy S
    August 22nd, 2013 at 7:31 PM

    Now if they had made Top Gun with John Wayne vice Tom Snooze. Like Clete said, the flight scenes were ok…the rest not so much.

    Titanic. The original (A Night to Remember comes to mind) was much better.

    Leo is okay in small doses.

    Lugosi is still spinning in his grave after they came out with the Twilight movies, I am sure.

    Avatar blue trash.

    I’ll take the Hellraiser series over Elm St. Or better yet, anything with Bruce Campbell in it.

    And what is all this about a movie called Notebook???

  • Guy S
    August 22nd, 2013 at 7:33 PM

    Oh, forgot about Brokeback Mt. It gives a whole new meaning to “ridding the range….(And John Wayne is joining Lugosi in rapid rpms, after that gem came out.)

  • John DuMond
    August 22nd, 2013 at 7:36 PM

    I saw Nightmare and Top Gun, enjoyed both, but neither is what I’d call a must-see. Never saw the other three, and I have no desire to.

  • Clete Orris
    August 22nd, 2013 at 7:54 PM

    Who is Bruce Campbell? I hear (read) the name Bruce, and this comes to mind: http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x21d8b_elo-don-t-bring-me-down_music

  • Azygos
    August 22nd, 2013 at 8:52 PM

    Bruce who?

    You want a bad movie try Futz. Though it might go over well in mooslimb countries if the love interest is rewritten as a goat.

  • RabidAlien
    August 22nd, 2013 at 9:50 PM

    Oh, three more that I have Seen But Will Never Sully Mine Eyeballs With Again:

    1: Pearl Harbor. Seriously. It wasn’t all that long ago in the grand scheme of things, you’d think they could get some historical facts straight, besides not insulting every Pursuit-pilot and all of the B-25 crews who flew with Doolittle.

    2: Miracle at St. Anne. I watched this one just so that I could form my own opinion, instead of boycotting it simply because it was “Spike Lee pissed at Clint Eastwood for not tromping on history and showing black troops saving the day at Iwo Jima”. Yeah. I should’ve known better…like Spike Lee has any clue how to read history (or make a movie, for that matter). Utter garbage that not even a nice set of highly-plastic boobs could redeem.

    3: Red Tails. See #2. Did they even bother to talk to any of the Tuskeegee Airmen or 99th crewmembers? Did they bother to stop by and ask if a P-51 could do a tight flip at high speeds without losing a rivet or two? Or wonder whether a jet aircraft was capable of flying at least 5mph faster than a lumbering B17? And regardless of your budget….at least TRY to get first-year acting students!!! Holy crap, I’ve witnessed better performances from middle-school kids in videos posted on joke websites!

  • Cruel Wife
    August 22nd, 2013 at 10:04 PM

    I watched Nightmare on Elm Street when I was a teenager, and I watched Top Gun over and over again. I would have fought you over that one back in the day, but I was still a romantic noodle-head and it was before Cruise went absolutely whack-job psycho. To my credit, I had a thing for Val Kilmer back then (not Cruise), even though Kilmer was an immature ass in the movie.

    NoES was a part of my hacker/slasher days. (I wanted something that went beyond the bloody Dirty Harry movies, and a bunch of my friends liked to get together to watch slashers. I shoulda stuck with Clint.) It was creepy, but the only scary-ish thing in a movie that ever really got to me was the possessed evil clown in Poltergeist. (No, I don’t watch Steven King movies.) I watched that one when I was about 12. For years afterwards, I had to keep every appendage (besides my face, or I’d smother) completely under my covers, I’d be safe from that clown under the bed. It didn’t matter that I slept in a homemade bed frame, and the sides went all the way to the floor!

    Avatar – the graphics were cool, but we got so disgusted with the plot line that we stopped watching it. Twilight is a pathetic teen flick for all the closet goths. If I had to choose between The Notebook and saccharin, I’d probably take the saccharin. I like some romantic comedies because they lift my spirits and make me laugh, but they are called “Chick Flicks” for a very good reason. It wouldn’t even be as much fun with a guy there, because I know what the guy would be thinking throughout the movie. Any guy. lol

    I wish there was better news about Draco. You guys are still in my prayers.

  • reiuxcat
    August 23rd, 2013 at 12:24 PM

    You could have added Days of Thunder to the list.

    • LC Aggie Sith
      August 23rd, 2013 at 12:31 PM

      Truthfully, I’ve only seen two Cruise movies in their entirety: Risky Business and Tropic Thunder. And ONLY because I had no idea he was in the latter one 😀

      • reiuxcat
        August 23rd, 2013 at 2:16 PM

        I was running a little convenience store that has since been torn down next to the McDonalds at 46 and I-10. It was an Exxon, during the DoT run which Exxon heavily promoted. Cars, scratch off contests, T-shirts. Robert Duvall was the only redeeming actor in it, but the racing was NOT RACING. 😉

        Glad to see you smile.

      • RabidAlien
        August 23rd, 2013 at 4:53 PM

        I wouldn’t have listed Tropic Thunder as a “Tom Cruise” movie since he wasn’t in 90% of the movie (thank God), any more than Waterworld (of which I’m one of two people I know who will openly admit to liking) was a Jack Black movie (yes….Jack Black was in Waterworld…he was the airplane pilot). Tropic Thunder was its own brand of stupid, but if I’m looking to waste braincells on a movie, I’ll watch something with Larry the Cable Guy in it (Delta Farce, Witless Protection). THOSE are a fun kind of stupid!

  • B.C.
    August 23rd, 2013 at 1:27 PM

    I was in the USAF when “Crotch Gun” came out in theaters. The flight scenes were made completely unbelievable with them calling American F-5’s (aka “T-38’s”) as Soviet MiG-Whateverthehellnumbertheycalledem. The movie didn’t even have the redeeming value of a nude Kelly McGillis to bring it back from the bargain bin at Wally World.

    Wouldn’t be caught dead in the same area code as Bareback Mountin’.

    I saw the first couple of Freddy Krueger movies when they came out in theaters. (I was a LOT younger and that kind of stuff still appealed to me.) The Dokken soundtrack ROCKED. (Dream Warriors, the quintessential 80’s Scandinavian hair band sound!)

    I can’t believe that nobody has mentioned ANYTHING starring Babs Streisand, Bette Midler or Rosie O’Donuts. They should use those celluloid abortions as tools to make our guests at Gitmo spill the beans. 😀

  • Scott C Baldry
    August 23rd, 2013 at 3:34 PM

    I never say never to at least trying to watch a movie. I’ve muscled through or walked away from some movies that were highly praised by friends.

    My wife, kid and son (all Beatles fans) sat all the way through “Magical Mystery Tour”…an homage to what happens when you have too much money and too many drugs…just so we could say we never have to watch it again.

  • Mrs. Who
    August 23rd, 2013 at 7:59 PM

    I hate Top Gun for two reasons:

    First: My dad and grandfather were naval aviators. Word got around about Cruise being a friggin’ asshole during the filming on the air craft carrier.

    Second: My ex (a wanna-be-aviator) LOVED this movie. Uhh, no.

  • scottthebadger
    August 24th, 2013 at 8:22 PM

    They have scrapped a remake of The Man From U.N.C.L.E. with Cruise as Napolean Solo. That would have been enough of a travesty that God would have had the Sun go Nova to cleanse the Western Spiral Arm of the Milky Way.

  • roamingfirehydrant
    August 26th, 2013 at 10:34 AM

    Apparently WordPress ate my comment. I wanted to warn everyone away from “Search for Santa Paws”. You might think it’s kid-appropriate because it’s Disney, you might think it’s entertaining because there’s a cute dog. You would be wrong. *I* might need therapy, much less Mini-me, just for the scene where the girl crawls into the incinerator.

  • Guy S
    August 26th, 2013 at 3:24 PM

    I liked Bubba-Ho-Tep a lot! A fun movie just about any way you cut it. And Strisand does not make movies, she makes “Barbra Strisand Statement” ™ .

    Woody Allen has a couple of good movies to his credit, but they were done many years ago. (Everything You Wanted to Know About Sex, and What’s Up TigerLilly come to mind) But in the last 20-30 years not so much.

    Give me a good Mel Brooks movie (Or the Duke, Clint, Bogie, Kirk fare) any day over most of the tripe out there today. And not that it needs saying…but get off my lawn!!

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