Monthly Archives: May 2013

Channeling Alice Cooper

For the first time in like forever, I am looking forward to school ending and summer vacation. For most Stay-At-Home mothers, “summer” means “jail”. But honestly, this time it will be a reprieve from the almost constant deluge of school functions, meetings, concerts, and ROTC events. Don’t get me wrong. I enjoy being involved. But there is only ONE of me, ok?? It is extremely difficult to be everywhere at once with the Laws of Physics refusing to bend to my every need. Every. Single. Weekend. PEOPLE!! It would have been fine if only all three kids had their activities in the same frickin’ town. But no…. THAT would have been waaaaaaay too easy.

Only the best back-to-school ad EVAH!!

Only the best back-to-school ad EVAH!!

But even I know summer can be a pitfall. It can unravel faster than a cheetah ripping through the yarn aisle at JoAnn’s™. So, a few rules MUST be implemented, observed and enforced in order for Mommy to not escape inside a bottle not lose her mind.

RULE #1

The term “I’m bored!” is banned. If uttered, even in a whisper or under breath, the culprit will have earned five hours cleaning the outside windows with newspapers and vinegar. Yes, I am old school.

RULE #2

You are responsible for your own breakfast AND lunch during the weekdays. Asking me for it will earn you an extra set of chores, to include attic cleaning.

RULE #3

TV will be limited to only three hours per day (not counting evenings). This does include any videogaming. Breaking this rule will have earned the perpetrator three hours of outside activity. Pooper scooper may be involved.

RULE #4

The query, “Why?” is no longer valid. End of discussion.

RULE #5

Any schoolwork for the summer will be done the FIRST two weeks of summer vacation, and not the last 20 minutes of summer vacation. As an addendum, any schoolwork that requires math or physics is solely the responsibility of Daddy. Mommy was told there would be no math.

RULE #6

Music while doing chores or for the joy of it is fine, as long as it is within the accepted parameters: no screamo, no alternative, no techno pop. Also, it must be played at a level consistent with my ability to keep my sanity, so nothing above 1,200 decibels.

So far these are a few of the solid rules. I shall be printing these out and posting them on the refrigerator, as well as on each of their doors. And quite possibly the bathroom mirror. Obey these rules, and you don’t get hurt. It is that simple.

Disobey, and deal with your father 😉


In Case You Wondered, I’m Still Here

I honestly thought that with the school year coming to an end, things would be easier. At the very least, I wouldn’t be so busy.

Well, I for one have learned my lesson.

I didn’t post much at the weekend because I spent it with the family, had some ROTC commitments for Memorial Day, and I figured y’all would be busy observing the holiday, too. And then Tuesday showed up, and all Hades broke loose from its tethers.

happy tuesday

First, pick up car from mechanic.No, it ain’t fixed. The car’s computer is too OLD for the mechanic’s computer to “read”. GAH!!!

Second, take pics to be scanned to CD at Walgreen’s. Why? Because my scanner decided that scanning graduation portraits was gauche.

Third, go to dentist and change Eldest’s appointment for July. Finals wait for no senior.

Fourth, enquire at thrift shop on how to be a volunteer (Son needs the hours for NHS). Awesomely, I found an old candlestick to match another I found weeks ago.

Fifth, fix side mirror of Hubby’s car (fell off, so I E-6000 it). So it’s a bit crooked. So is the road.

Sixth, finish ironing. Because ACUs should never be ironed, unless you work for the Army.

Seventh, start dinner. Thank you Lord, for giving someone the intelligence to come up with pre-cooked burgers.

Eighth, take girls to get ice cream, because it’s on the way to a friend’s house where said friend has found a box turtle for them to see.

Ninth, go to Lowes™ and get air filters, even some in the wrong size, just to make tomorrow special.

Tenth, replace some filters, and enjoy having a dust storm settle in my hair.

So there you have it: how I spent my Tuesday. I’m hoping my week improves.

If it doesn’t, there’s wine for that 😀


On This Memorial Day

For me, it is one of the saddest holidays, and yet it is also filled with joy, knowing that such courage exists, and such sacrifices are made in defense of freedom.

The Wall Boots

I give thanks to all the men and women who paid the ultimate price so that I could speak, and worship, and complain, and demonstrate. And to do so in English.

May they never be forgotten, nor their sacrifices be in vain.


So, This Happened

Today I was scheduled to take one of our vehicles in for a check up and diagnostic. My mom had transferred ownership of her old 1994 Saab to us for Eldest to use once she got her license. Yes, I am still in tears about that. Anyway, it is having some issues, so I made an appointment on Tuesday to take it in to be checked out. One can’t take chances, you know?

Anyway, I took the kidlets to school without incident, and then headed back home to pick up the other car. I put my hair up in a clip (it’s frightful), washed up the dishes, and then grabbed the keys and headed out.

So I got into my Pathfinder.

And drove down the street to the mechanic.

In my Pathfinder.

Not the Saab.

polar bear facepalm

And if you think I just went down a couple of blocks before I noticed, think again. I was turning into the shop before I noticed. Luckily I had time to turn around and switch vehicles before my appointment.

And this is what happens when you don’t drink coffee first thing in the morning 🙂


Ever Feel Like You Have Nothing to Say, but Feel the Need to Type Some Sort of Post Anyway?

Yeah, neither do I.

So, since it has been a while, I give what is possibly the most awesome U.S. soldier, EVAH!!

soldier in kilt

Platoon Sergeant in Iraq, wearing Tartan Wilson, (found here). EPICNESS!!

Now, go fan yourselves 😉


It’s Late Afternoon on Monday, and Topics Are Optional

I lack motivation to write today.

There are no cupcakes in the house.

The laundry is done.

The schools have awards ceremonies tonight and tomorrow night.

I have a gazillion split ends.

My roses are still in shock.

Still, one can find humor in the day.

vadering kid

Here’s hoping Tuesday isn’t a Monday do-over!! 😀


Why I Never Bother With Plans

It’s Sunday. A day to relax and putter around and just enjoy before the craziness of the coming week takes hold. It’s a no brainer day, right? I mean, you can choose to do stuff, or choose to do nothing.

Such a simple, blessed day.

Sunday

Why is it that I can never enjoy it??

Last week, a friend asked me to attend an acquaintance’s baby shower, to which I said yes. I figured it would be nice to hang out with gals bitching about motherhood talking about similar interests. Then my sister called to invite me to her anniversary BBQ. And in my family, you 1) celebrate milestones, and 2) never turn down BBQ. And…..both scheduled for roughly the same time. But I can manage to make an appearance at the shower and then attend my sister’s BBQ, right? So far, so good.

And now Little One wants to go dress shopping for her awards ceremony this week. Because hey, MOM IS NOT DOING ANYTHING TODAY!!

Fine…. FINE!!! We shall go shopping.

At least that’s something I do rather well 😀


Rats With Better PR

Yesterday afternoon, I went outside to water the flowers, praying that I wouldn’t end up murdering them yet again it would rain, since it was overcast and that would save me from having to roll out the sprinkler. I…..don’t have the best luck with plants. Except my hostas, which weirdly are freakishly huge under the tree.

I guess they thrive on ignorance and neglect.

Anyway, I go get the garden hose, and turn to talk to my calla lily. She hasn’t deserted me, either. Again, ignorance and neglect. I give her a good drink of water, and then turn to the marigolds in the bright teacup style pot, only to find broken leaves, snapped heads, and a mess of dirt. Why? Because some squirrel decided that was where he had hidden his treasure trove of acorns.

jedi_squirrel

Seems legit.

Normally I am not one to get upset over something so small. But they had done it to the newly planted petunias out front, which were BRAND FREAKING NEW AND HAD NO ACORNS IN THE DIRT!! So of course, I snapped.

Me: STAY OUT OF MY POTTED PLANTS, YOU INSIPID BAG OF MANGY FUR!!

Squirrel: *looks at me from the fence edge*

Me: YES, YOU!! I CATCH YOU AROUND MY PLANTS AGAIN, AND I WILL MAKE STEW OUT OF YOUR HIDE!!

Neighbor: Hey Aggie*. How’s…. your day?

Me: Uh, Hey! Just…fine… watering plants.

Neighbor: Need a shotgun?

Me: I’m on it.

Neighbor: I didn’t hear a thing.

Me: I owe you.

I don’t like squirrels, as you can probably surmise. I don’t care that they have bushy tails, or cute little hands (which have nasty claws), or cheeky pouches. Screw that. I think they are nasty little birdseed thieves who conspire to wreak havoc on the roads and make your plants wither and die.

It’s a good thing I was defrosting chicken, because stew sounded pretty good right then 😉


In Defense of the Cupcake

Yesterday I was perusing food blogs and came across my interwebnet friend Marilla over at Cupcake Rehab for some delicious dessert recipes. As her blog title suggests, she loves her some cupcakes. But that isn’t all she makes. Jams, jellies, pickling, pies, sauces, cookies, breads (ZOMG THE BREADS!!!)… it’s all good at her site. But sometimes she feels the need to clarify her stance on the humble cupcake.

I love cupcakes. I won’t apologize for it, I don’t feel bad when a snobby food blogger scoffs at them in favor of a green tea cookie with local honey glaze or lemon curry marmalade, and I don’t care if the people I reading this are tired of them. I am not. Besides, what is there NOT TO LIKE? It’s a small, individual cake. Just for you. That you don’t have to share (!).

And she is absolutely right! What is NOT to like about a cupcake??

Multi Cup Cakes 033

Each one is an individual ray of sunshine, just waiting to send your taste buds into Sugar Valhalla. Honestly, peeling off the liner heightens the anticipation of biting into the velvety sweetness by a factor of twelve and seven orders of magnitude. And think about it: no cutting, no crumbs, no messing up the icing, no fighting over the decorations, no “I want more icing!”, no mess.  Choosing a cupcake is a symbol of individuality. YOU pick the one that speaks to you. That’s totally different than a cake that screams conformity.

Don’t get me wrong: I like cake, too. But the cupcake appeals to the rebel inside us, telling the rest of the world, “THIS ONE IS MINE, ALL MINE!!” And sometimes you need to have something that’s only yours, even if it is a cupcake 😀


Best Mom Day, EVAH!!

So, yesterday was Mother’s Day, and the kids and Hubby surprised me with bling and a new Lolita™ wine glass. I think I am getting to be a bit predictable. Anyway, after gratuitous amounts of loving hugs and coffee, we decided to go to the outlet mall to shop for Little One since she had outgrown a ton of clothes, for which Goodwill is grateful. It was a nice day, and I find shopping therapeutic and relaxing.

I do NOT find traffic relaxing, which is why Hubby drove.

Anyway, we decided to have lunch first at a restaurant conveniently located next to Williams-Sonoma™, which is close to kryptonite for me as y’all well know. I had finished eating and figured it couldn’t do any harm to just go look. So off I went, feeling Hubby’s eyes roll as I meandered into the store. Mind you, I wasn’t planning on getting anything, until I rounded the corner and found this:

saucepan

I had been looking for that size for a while, but was reluctant to pay the $$$ price tag. Seriously, three figures for that small saucepan? No way. So I checked inside for the price in case it was on sale.

$29.97???

Wha……….??

I check everywhere on that pan to see if there is another price tag. Nope, just the $29.97 one. ZOMG!!!! I run over to the checkout and ask if this is the right price and the manager says that usually the current stuff that’s returned to the outlet is priced to move, so yes. AWESOME!!! But if that wasn’t enough, it was an additional 30% off, plus 10% off for military. So my little saucepan cost $20 and change.

And no, this doesn’t mean my Le Creuset™ bargain hunting is over. It just means that I really, really have to downsize a bit more 😉