I Don’t Need an Adventure, Since I Shop at Wal-Mart™

Last night after dinner, the girls asked if we could stop at Wal-Mart™ for cotton swabs. I figured it would be a quick trip since we were on that side of the highway already. The first thing I did was check my clothes. I don’t want anyone taking my pic for the “People of Walmart” site. Then I checked my teeth for the same reason.

We went in and suddenly, Eldest had to check Electronics for a CD and Little One had to get cookies for her after school practice. One heads north, the other west, and I head east to the far side of the store to get what we came to get, cotton swabs.

Only I took a slight detour and ended in the floral section, where they had burlap ribbon. In my defense, it was still on the way to the baby section. Oh, and the moss was on clearance, so I got that, too. As I was leaving the aisle, a man turns to me to ask my opinion on candle scents. He was trying to choose between a floral and a spice. I asked him where he was going to burn it, and he said (no joke) his car. I told him to go with the spice. I figured it would make the smouldering heap that will soon be his car smell better.

I spent the next five minutes wandering back to the Electronics, to find that both girls are looking at videogames. “I thought you were looking for a CD?” I inquired. Eldest replied that they didn’t have it, so they were looking for other stuff.

At that point I did exclaim, “GAH!!!”

We make our way to the baby section, and get cotton swabs, when suddenly they both exclaim, “WE NEED SHAMPOO!!!” Fine…shampoo is one aisle over. Then they proceed to look over every single brand to determine which would make their hair look like a Pantene™ commercial. We all know the answer is “none”, but still they want to pick something new. And it can’t be the same brand, either. As I wait, I overhear a lady further down the aisle telling her daughter to hurry up and pick something.

I’m glad to see it wasn’t just me.

Finally, they pick out their miracle formulas, and we head out to pay. And suddenly, AGAIN, they remember razors. Back we go, get razors, and go all the way down to the self-checkout lane, where out of fifteen lanes, only three are in operating order. Sigh…. Finally we get to a lane, and proceed to check out, taking far longer due to the fact that the bags were not co-operating and the guy manning the stations kept having to unlock me out because the scanner was insisting I had an unauthorized item in my bag, which was impossible since the bags were not co-operating.

So, what was supposed to take maybe 15 minutes turned into a 45 minute ordeal and cost $60. All because we needed cotton swabs. And guess what? I get to do it all over again, because I forgot to get Hubby’s razor blades.

It’s not a job. It’s an adventure 😉