Because Stained Carpets Means Move Furniture, or Something.

Today I decided to tackle the stains in my carpeting. I have Berber carpet, so it’s maddening to get anything off, but I was willing to try some ammonia to it. Only I couldn’t find the ammonia, so I used Oxy-Clean™. Y’all know Billy Mays is smiling down at this very minute. Anyway, right beside Hubby’s nightstand is a stain from when he spilled water with lemon juice. It has always bugged me, and I decided that I was going to scrub it, as soon as I finished scrubbing the red wine stain that is right by the bathroom door, from when he spilled his glass a few nights ago.

He’s not clumsy. Considering these two spillages occurred five years apart, he has a pretty good track record.

So, I get down to treat it, only there are fifteen books that I have to move. So, I decide to move the books, only to find the rest of his medical papers and lectures, so those get moved, as well. Pretty soon, there are five big stacks of books and stuff out of the way. And then I remembered the books he has under the bed because he has no place to put them. I’m sorry, but  THIS WILL NOT STAND!!!

Up the stairs I have a tall bookcase that is just displaying some of my many, many lighthouses. Hm…. my little braincell decides to twitch its axon and bother the dormant braincell and an idea is born. And this is what transpired:

• Remove all lighthouses, then shelves.
• Bring down behemoth, taller-than-me bookcase to room.
• Find out it doesn’t fit.
• Cry.
• Braincell reminds me of Son’s smaller bookcase.
• Go to Son’s room, remove books, and move smaller bookcase to my room.
• Fits fine!
• Move taller-than-me behemoth bookcase to Son’s room.
• Find that it fits only if I move the chests of drawers and the treadmill, which outweighs me by 300 pounds (137 kilograms for my foreign readers).
• Cry.
• Begin to move treadmill. Curse the earth where it was made.
• Move chests of drawers. Think of an explanation for Son. Braincell not co-operating.
• Keep moving treadmill. Swear to all that is holy to set it on fire at the earliest opportunity.
• Keep moving treadmill.
• Keep moving treadmill.
• Cry.
• Finally finish moving stuff around, set up Son’s room to normality levels.
• Come back to my room, set books on shelf.
• Remember the lighthouses.
• Cry.
• Begin taking boxes down.
• Finish putting almost all of the lighthouses away.
• Begin putting boxes back up.
• Remember stain, the little thing that began the whole journey.
• Scrub a bit, stain still there.
• Scrub harder, stain remains.
• Places old book over stain.

Luckily, the red wine stain came off just fine. Otherwise I would have been forced to dye my carpet a nice maroon 😉