Not. My. Day.

Sometimes it doesn’t pay to get out of bed.

Usually I wake up gradually and lay there quietly, planning out my day before the alarm goes off. Well, not this morning. I woke up from a really weird dream. It wasn’t bad, and it wasn’t good. Basically I was working for an obscure government outfit on loss prevention and alien apprehension. The “out of this world” kind, I mean. And I was at t he PX doing rounds when I stopped to watch a bunch of little drummer girls and one of them really, REALLY loved her pillow and talked to it, and one little boy made fun of it, and then a freakin’ tentacle slithers out of the pillow and grabs his wee-wee, and I pull it off, yelling at people to stand back as I get my gun out and start shooting at it, yelling at someone not to use the machete because the alien is like a hydra and would someone PLEASE bring me a lighter and a can of Aqua-Net©?? Whereupon after emptying two clips I promptly set the thing on fire.

Anyway, the point is I woke up all disoriented, and was not all here when I went to do the tea and coffee ritual. I grabbed the carafe and filter, and proceeded to dump the grounds in the sink, which is not necessarily bad, until you realize that you dumped the last of the coffee in the garbage can. So I reach down with some paper towels to sop up the mess, forgetting that the greasy foil from the baked salmon was in there. So now I had a very greasy, fishy arm to clean. Fine…FINE!!! I wash it off and start the coffeemaker and finish Hubby’s tea, and go to make the bed and set out his clothes. So I set out his shirt and pants, and then make the bed, forgetting the clothes are on it. Sigh…. undo bed, remove clothes, redo bed.

So finally I get my cup of coffee, and drink it scalding hot, because I do NOT have time to waste. I have to get back to my state of “normal” so I can take my mom shopping for groceries. She is cooking tonight, and I sure as heck do NOT want anything to interfere with that!!!

Last thing I need is to slip on a grape at the store and end up in traction, missing her pork roast 😉