Dulcet Sounds

Ok, full disclosure here: I am the big snorer in our house. It was inherited from my father, who inherited it from his mother, who snored so loud when Hubby and I were staying at her house that we opted to close the windows and suffocate rather than hear the cacophony.

Last night, however, was different. Hubby was very tired, and had imbibed after dinner, which was fabulous, by the way!! The dinner, I mean. I’m sure the Maker’s Mark is fabulous, too. Anyway, we went to bed, and not two minutes later, he was snoring. I woke him, and he stopped, and then began again. After the third time, I had to speak up.

Me: Honey, you are snoring.

Him: No, I’m not. That’s you.

Me: I’m not snoring. I’m not even asleep! I’m still praying.

Him: Ok, I will stop.

Fine, he did stop, but something told me it was just the eye of the storm. I continued my prayers, when suddenly he snored so loud he scared the living hell out of me.

Which I guess is a good thing while one is praying.

Me: HONEY!!!

Him: Huh, what?

Me: You snored so loud you scared me!

Him: That was you. I’ve been awake.

Me: …..

Me: I have been awake. YOU were snoring, and it was very loud.

Him: No, I was awake, and about to nudge you on your side.

Me: (fuming) Fine! Go to slee—

Him: (snoring again)

But the funniest part happened this morning. He came into the kitchen, telling me he fell asleep before I came to bed, and slept so well he didn’t wake up but a couple of times. I was speechless, but made up for it quickly. I told him what happened, and at first he was rather surprised, but then told me that I shouldn’t worry, since he and his twin could have conversations while they were asleep.

I can’t wait to hear what he says in his sleep around my birthday 😉

Back to Basics

When I was newlywed, I used to take one day of the week to cook a gourmet meal. I would get the ingredients, measure everything, clean up as I went along, and make something fantabulous for the two of us.

Eldest was still on mashed peas and squash. She didn’t get to enjoy the spoils.

Once our family grew in size I placed that habit on hold, much to Hubby’s chagrin. Not many kids will appreciate Dover sole cooked in a white wine reduction, right? Well, I know mine didn’t. But now that they are nearing adulthood (ZOMG!!! HOW DID THAT HAPPEN!!??), I have been doing different dishes and getting back into the gourmet thing, slowly.

Of course, Little One is Miss Picky and she is still a problem. Son has a block against sauced things. Eldest will eat anything I serve her. She’s my favorite at mealtime. AT MEALTIME!!!

That last is for her benefit so that she doesn’t tell the other two that she has favorite child status for life, or something like that.

Anyway…. I noticed that a lot of the favorite meals growing up have been seriously absent from the repertoire. I mean, no mac and cheese, no Southern fried chicken, no comfort. So, I’m going back to the basics with this:

Courtesy of The Pioneer Woman, because she is a far better photographer than I am.

Chicken Fried Steak, my peeps!! I miss it so. I add different seasonings to the flour, and tend to add a bit of half-sharp Hungarian paprika for a bit of a kick (the bottle says “half-sharp”, but it peeled the skin off the roof of my mouth once when I mistakenly used it for Chicken Paprikás. Hubby loved it, though). Tonight there will be steak, and mashed potatoes and lots and lots of gravy that I make from the pan.

But I shall have back-up gravy from a jar, just in case I screw that up 😀

Saturday Sithy

My friend The Queen is on vacation touring our wonderful country, but she found the time to send me one of the funniest Sithies evah in the history of this here blog:

When she posted this on my social-site-that-has-faces, I spewed soda all over me, making a mental note to wrap the keyboard in Saran Wrap™ for future spewage.

Have a great Saturday!! 😀

If the Shoe Fits

I’m a woman. I love shoes. It is an Axiom of Life™, and one that is almost universally accepted. Even my cousin who goes barefoot through the jungle and seldom wears anything on her feet loves shoes. My sister is addicted to shoes, and I am but an amateur compared to her.

Yesterday, a friend linked a story at that-social-site-that-has-faces that made me covet, covet like I have never coveted anything in my life.

Christian Louboutin designs a slipper for today’s Cinderella

This is the juxtaposition of so many wonderrific things I want with the force of ten thousand Betelgeuses, at seven orders of magnitude. First, CHRISTIAN LOUBOUTIN, he of the Red Soled Shoes™ that caress and form to every curve of your foot, making your legs look as if they go on forever. I have wanted a pair of his shoes for years. Every time I see the red sole I salivate. Some women love Jimmy Choo, others love Salvatore Ferragamo, and still some worship at the heel of Stuart Weitzman. But they pale in comparison to the absolute poetry of a Louboutin heel.

Second, BUTTERFLIES, and I don’t mean just any butterflies. A masterful butterfly heads the shoe and a smaller one caresses the heel, bringing attention to the sensual curve below the calf. I have a thing for butterflies, in case you didn’t know. And they strike me as a sign of femininity, so I love to wear their likeness.

Third, shimmery, translucent LACE. The epitome of femininity and charm, used in lieu of glass or lucite (let’s face it: a foot doesn’t look attractive encased in plastic. It reminds me of hamhocks). But lace always makes skin look luminous and pretty, while hiding small imperfections. That’s what I read in a Frederick’s of Hollywood catalog, anyway.

Fourth, beautiful BLING. While the lace smooths out the skin, and crystals give the illusion of glass. Yes, some people may think bling should be reserved for weddings and evening attire, but not me. Bling is pretty and it makes people look, and after all, why go through life unnoticed??

Alas, they are not meant to be for moi. Christian Louboutin made them as part of a collaboration with Disney™ for the Blu-Ray™ release of Walt Disney’s Cinderella. The shoes were such a hit that he will be gifting one lucky winner here in the U.S. with a limited edition pair. And I know it won’t be me. But a dream is a wish your heart makes, when you fall asleep.

And I will be dreaming 😉

Snot the End of the World

But it sure feels like it.

I have been fighting a cold since the family reunion, but it seems the virus has decided to teach me a lesson in humility by reminding me that it has been around longer than Homo sapiens sapiens has.

Fine….FINE!!!

YOU WIN, RHINOVIRUS!!!

But ArmedGeek was kind enough to send me this this morning, so enjoy:

STEAMPUNK STORMTROOPER!!!

I’m going back to bed, after I finish the laundry and clean upstairs. Also, I sprayed the blog with Lysol™, so y’all should be fine. Just remember to wash your eyeballs after reading.

Hope y’all stay healthy 😉

Happy Independence Day

Today we celebrate our country’s independence from Great Britain. It was a Shot Heard ‘Round the World.

Growing up in Puerto Rico, I was taught about Christopher Columbus, but not about Benjamin Franklin. I was taught about Juan Ponce de Leon, but not about Patrick Henry. I came to live in Texas in the summer of 1976, during the Bicentennial celebrations. I asked my dad why everything was red, white, and blue, and he told me it was a very important year. We were celebrating 200 years of being a country.

He said “WE”. That is when I realized that although I was Puerto Rican, I was an American. And as I grew older, and learned about the sacrifices men made in order to break free from tyranny, I began to see this place with new eyes. So often a revolution will simply remove one bad government and replace it with another just as bad (and don’t get me started on the French Revolution!). But the American Revolution was different. It didn’t seek to substitute a government. It sought to establish a government based on principles that had been lost by centuries of neglect. The people had been lost to power, and it was time to return that power to the people.

I’m no Constitutional scholar by any stretch, and this is simply my opinion. But it seems to me that of late, the people are losing the power over the government. I can’t really articulate it well. All I know is this:

But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.

Our Founding Fathers wrote this on the Declaration of Independence. And they meant it. The question is if the time comes, will we mean it, too?

The Butter Incident

I love my dog. She is the sweetest, gentlest, neurotic ball I know. Even more neurotic than I am. But she makes every day funny somehow.

She also likes to test her boundaries.

A while back, I was in the kitchen making something that required fattiness. In this case, it was butter. I love baking with sweet cream unsalted butter. It makes me very happy. Anyway, I had set aside the last stick of butter on the kitchen island and was measuring the rest of the ingredients, when my dog, that loveable fuzzball, decided that HEY!!! THAT’S SWEET BUTTAH!!!

And she promptly leaned up, swiping the rest of it onto her tongue.

Courtesy of CakeSpy

I was not happy, and when Momma ain’t happy….

Needless to say, I did no baking that day. The dog also got no treats that day. She has since learned that the counters are off limits, as is the table. In retrospect, it’s pretty funny how she managed to sneak that, but I really wanted to bake whatever it was I felt like making.

Nowadays I make sure to have at least two packages of butter in the refrigerator at all times 😉

Random Post, Because I Really Can’t Think of Anything Coherent

For the first time in weeks, I slept through the night, and don’t remember dreaming, so I can attest that perhaps watching a mediocre movie can help your sleep patterns. Hubby and I went to see Prometheus….eh. It was ok. LOTS of illogical stuff in it, even with it being a science fiction thriller and suspending disbelief at every turn. The fact that I didn’t have a nightmare over it should tell you how “eh” it really is.

It rained yesterday, so I have hope the hay that developed while we were at the family reunion will turn semi-green. Or at least be non-combustible.

Several birds have decided that the fake plants I have outside are better suited to making a nest than the trees and shrubs. I have decided the fake plants will be watered regularly.

As I was reading the news today, I found it disheartening that the top stories are about a celebrity break-up, and how Generation Y thinks learning to drive is a hassle. On the other hand, I also learned that Alec Baldwin got married. I pity her.

Sometimes it feels good to sit down and eat whipped cream straight from the container. And it’s even better when it’s in a can, and you are watching a really bad movie. If you don’t have whipped cream, I hear peanut butter is a great substitute. I wouldn’t know, since I can’t stand the stuff, but whatever floats your goat:

Hopefully I will be more coherent tomorrow. I don’t promise anything, though. I have Valium™ and I’m not afraid to use it.

But I bet anything y’all have your own incoherence going on. It’s Monday, after all 😉

I Feel Like Chekov in the “Wrath of Khan”, Only the Earworm Won’t Die

Oh, someone please take pity on my, and drive an icepick through my ear.

Kids and Hubby are upstairs playing Minecraft™ (what else, right??) and that stupid, insipid lullaby keeps playing and makes me want to stab innocent bystanders, as well as the pigeons. Only I wouldn’t mind stabbing the pigeons. They are good in a stew. But this song has to stop before I take it out on the furniture, or the roast I’m making for tonight.

Oh, and look what I found for a Sithy.

Minecraft Vader!!! I want to kill the internet.

Hope y’all enjoy your Sunday!