Feeling Lost

Sometimes I wander through the house, looking at pictures on the wall, wondering how Time passed so quickly. I see my children making decisions about what to wear, and how to style their hair, and even what kind of milk they prefer, and wonder when I was demoted from that job. I look around me and feel lost, no longer sure of my job here, or if I’m doing a good job, or even if I still have a job. I see them losing patience with me when I restrict their TV habits or tell them a certain movie is too adult or scary for them. I hear their sighs when they have to explain to me where they will be, and with whom, and when they will come home, and who is chaperoning the event. Sometimes late at night, I cry for what I have lost, knowing I won’t ever get it back, and wonder if they understand that it hurts me to see them splintering the bounds of childhood. Being a parent is not just tough. It’s extremely painful and sad. But it’s also wonderful and full of joy and happiness.

And through the pain and the fighting and the struggles, I know I would never change any of it. I only pray that when it’s their turn that they have it easier. And that they have a new appreciation for their mother 😉

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About LC Aggie Sith

Machete-wielding zombie killer when not a stay-at-home mom. View all posts by LC Aggie Sith

15 responses to “Feeling Lost

  • Sanyo Soup

    A very touching post! Well done!

    And I don’t think I’m going out on a limb when I say, I suspect your prayers will be answered!

  • Julie O'Keefe Yost

    ….sending you a hug. i know all too well those feelings you describe. now, as i am enjoying the mimi journey, those little grand-cuties are growing up too fast, too!? you’re entitled to a little weepiness, so enjoy it for a bit…then get on back up into your snazzyjazzy self..and start enforcing some curfews! 😉

  • Guy S

    As you grew and changed, letting go of the “little girl”…becoming the wonderful woman you are today, so to are your children wandering down that very same path. It is their turn…their time. Rejoice in watching the miracles, large and small, as they present them to you. For you are their mother…there is no other who holds such an honored position in their lives.

    They will resist, fight to remove the bonds you have forged, with love and parental concern. In time they will first come to miss them; and when they are blessed with children of their own, they will begin to see the wisdom…and the love of same, first hand.

    You will be there, to witness and share in their joy, to see the wonder in their eyes (especially with the first grand child, for each) as they become the ones to receive the blessings and the miracles you have already experienced.

    “Mom, how did you put up with us, without going totally postal??”

    “Why I did the same things you are going to do, and in the end, you will. in time, receive the same return on your “investment” … in the end it is not so much the circle of life … but the circle of LOVE which makes all the difference.”

  • flyoverhere

    Never fear Y! The rewards of raising ‘good kids’ will be astounding a little farther down the road. I had the same feelings you are having and both our girls have let us know how thankful they are that they had parents who cared enough to be the bad guys back when they knew everything! They had the tools to be the wonderful women they are today.

  • Reiuxcat

    They will my friend, they will.

  • PepeLp

    Great post.

  • Nicole

    Very touching. A good mama post.

  • nursemyra

    I had terrible “empty nest syndrome” for about a year after my youngest moved out. and then I realised I had the freedom to do almost anything I wanted to without considering how it would affect my children… that was really liberating.

    And it’s wonderful to enjoy my children as adults.

  • The Queen

    Made me weepy…. I love seeing mine grow up and become her own person- but I miss my mini-me!

  • The Curtal Friar

    Don’t worry, they’ll appreciate ya. When all hell’s broken loose and your daughter’s three kids are running through the house and screaming, and the youngest one tried to be helpful by taking her messy diaper off for her mother, but then made a mess, and the older two kids are making fun of her, and a fight’s breaking out, and the dog’s barking, and in the middle of all that, her husband calls her and tells her that he has guests coming over for dinner and would she whip up some steaks for the meal, and make sure the kids are to bed early, she’ll be calling you and desperately needing your help, cause by golly, you seem to have handled worse than that when she was a kid and you need to go rescue her STAT.

  • LC Aggie Sith

    Thank you everyone!

    It was a bad few days for me, not just dealing with the kidlets and their schedules, but the reminder that Hubby should have been back this past weekend was hard.

    I appreciate y’all keeping me sane!!

  • Laura

    I like 1% organic milk. I don’t remember who makes it, but there’s a cow on the carton.

    (This is what I related to in the story. I guess I could say that I always enjoyed my pets growing up and getting out of the puppy stage so they’s stop peeing on the floor.)

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